The anime is great but honestly I love these two very funny yet dysfunctional characters. I hope you do to ^^

It switches point of view. It's mostly all Izaya, it flicks between him and third person. It's not that tricky, honest!

Reviews are always appreciated my good humans!

Warnings: It's not a fluffy bunny fic, get it? It has Shizuo and Izaya in it, do I need to say any more?

Disclaimer: Don't own Durarara!

Your awful, I love you!


*Izaya's pov*

"The world isn't as cruel as you take it to be."

I can't help but speak those words to myself with the utmost sarcasm. How very optimistic some people are. I love, love, love humans and sushi, sushi is love.

I also enjoy answering other peoples phones and randomly messing with those at the other end. It's amazing the conversations one can have with strangers about sushi and swearing.

But that actually sounds pretty lame though, even more so coming a girl with no head. If that isn't considered cruel I don't know what is.

Still from a human perspective it's wonderful, most things in this world are predictable and quite frankly very boring.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

People can think what they like, every hushed whisper amuses me as I pass by. Whether I'm cruel, or have a dark sense of justice. Or that maybe I simply just enjoy mind fucking people left right and centre.

If you happen you live a normal unexciting life then you will probably never meet me.

Aren't you the lucky one?


*Shizuo pov*

Another so called acquittance of mine offers a casual greeting, to which I ignore. I can't shake off my bad mood, I just feel so pissed off lately. And I don't know why, well I do have an idea.

That fucking slippery bastard Izaya Orihara . Just knowing he's here in Ikebukuro irritates me, what's he up too? Nothing good I'm all to sure, if only I had just killed him before.

I stare down heatedly at my scuffed hands, how many times have I broken these fingers?

How many times has he slipped through them?

I despise violence and I despise him. He is like me, he won't die. No matter what I do. How fucking irritating is that!

I always screw up.

I always do the wrong thing.

I destroy everything around me.

So why not him?


It's a full moon, cloudless skies and quite. Well as quiet as you can get in a city. Correction, this city.

My mind always wonders on nights like these, I keep my own company better than anyone. And why shouldn't I, little else interests me in reality.

I wonder aimlessly around the back streets, finding myself curiously drawn to a certain district. I know I shouldn't, I mean I can practically hear people screaming and see vending machines pierce the skyline.

In fact I'm pretty sure I heard his voice on the wind just now, screaming something along the lines of "true love my ass."

Ever the tactful conversationalist, Shizuo Heiwajima.

He's an obvious sort of guy.

Letting a sly grin slip across my lips I shrug, I kinda like that about him.

I must say, I do love our little encounters.


Monday night was fun

"Ne Shizuo chan, what would you do if zombies took over the Earth?"

"The fuck? What kind of question is that?"

Shrugging heavily to himself Izaya hummed, "an interesting one."


Wednesday night was tiring,


Looking back somewhat breathlessly the informant flashed a sharp grin. "That'd be quite a stupid thing to do given the circumstances Shizu chan. I'd much more prefer you stop chasing me."

I honestly think we musta run through most of the city. Shizu chans not human, seriously. How fun!


Wednesday night, I actually had work to do.


Thursday night, was the usual.

"Today's the fucking day Izaya!"

Staring up at the sky placidly the informant smirked "it's night."

"Doesn't matter what the fucking time is! I'm finally gonna kill you, right here right now!"

Mockingly Izaya Orihara bowed, his ebony hair sweeping effortlessly over his glowing red eyes. "Shizu chan, your sweet nothings make my blood run cold."

"Fucker, your bloods always cold!"

"You could always warm it up for me," blowing the irate blond a kiss Izaya laughed airily. The horror in the bartenders eyes speaking volumes that his gaping mouth could not.

"Fuck you Izaya! You know if I got my hands on you it'd be the end."


I feel a confident smirk play across my tainted lips, it's too funny. The way he hisses it, how tightly his fists clench, his body erupting with rage.

"Awww how mean Shizu kunnnnn."

Too bad it's true.

Making a swift exit I leave him screaming my name once more. Human or whatnot Shizuo is really something else. With his freakish strength I'm sure he could tear me in half like paper. Laughing to myself I gaze up the the usual bland sky, what an unpleasant thought.

If only I realised the next night it would be all to relevant.


Ikebukuro, Tokyo. 12:50pm

Flicking off my phone...well it's not mine, I kind of borrowed it from one of the Dollars. I watch as it's dim glow fades all together to become a blank screen. It's late, it's boring.

Slowing down, I cast my gaze outwards, watching the smoke rise from the inner part of the city. No doubt that's where Shizuo is currently. That could be from his severe smoking habit. Or maybe a random explosion or fire he caused, the man is anything but discrete.

I suppose I should feel some shame for the buzz he gives me. The adrenalin rush like no drug available. But I'm sure it's a mutual thing. If it wasn't his blood won't boil at my mere image or voice. He wouldn't chase after me so relentlessly. Cursing my name over the rooftops, over and over shattering what little peace there is.

My thoughts are interrupted as a couple stumble out of a nearby by bar. Laughing and slurring words only meant for each other. Not wanting to be witness to their drunken frolicking I look away. The smoke over the inner city has calmed, someone put it out maybe. I smirk smugly as the intoxicated couple fumble around awkwardly, drawing my attention once more. The two clearly denying each other oxygen, among others things...

Perhaps that's what Shizu chans doing now, getting it off with some random bimbo.

At that moment a frozen feeling runs through my body, a sickly sort of dread. As I spin I just manage to see the object that in less than a second would make contact.

And it did. Hard.

Now I find myself on the floor feeling more than dazed and dizzy. A nauseous scent filling my senses, my own blood pooling onto the dirty pavement. Dragging my suddenly heavy eyes to the cause of my predicament I grimace, yup it's a vending machine alright. At least it didn't land on me, that probably would have killed me.

My revelation is short lived. The pavement cracks underneath me in warning, this will be unpleasant.

Lying perfectly still I take a deep breath, gauging the damage done. I struggle to feel for my blade, it's absence alarms me slightly. Scanning the immediate area I locate it, lying a few feet away, perfect. I've lost count of exactly how many pressing problems plague my hazy mind. My main problem of choice?

Hmm that have to be the stomping feet coming my way.

Seeing his shadow fall across mine I inhale shakily, half chocking on some blood that amazingly is still in my body. Forcing my face to the side I smirk upwards, never letting him see my pain. His image engulfed in shadow under the harsh street light. I can taste the blood trailing from my mouth, far to copper like to enjoy.

His grin reaches his ears almost as he stares at me in disbelief and satisfaction. "I can't believe that actually hit you!"

As he lights up a cigarette I resist the urge to speak momentarily, I fear my internal organs might spill out If I do.

"You look real pathetic." His eyes glow with glee, he's so easily satisfied.

"And I'll bet you've had wet dreams about this moment every night since we crossed paths." His grin drops before he lowers himself swiftly. His hand shooting out and grasping a fistful of my hair, which unfortunately for me is still attached to my head. As I stare into his golden eyes I wonder, should I be feeling anything. What's the usual things? fear? hate? humiliation?

Like I'd be so obvious, so very human.

Instead I opt to chirp out cheerily "congratulations Shizu chan, you got me!"

His reaction is more passive then I would have predicted. He should be ecstatic by this point. He's caused me a great deal of damage, blood loss, bruising and pain. Even now his long fingers twist unforgivingly in my hair. Bet he wishes he had a camera. Perhaps I should suggest the camera on the phone I borrowed. As I offer him a mock smile he slams me into the nearest building. His hands now pinning my wrists to the wall, his body doing the rest.

"Come on Shizu chan, finish it already, gotta make good on your promises you know."

I glance down deliberately at my knife lying a few feet away, "I'd make good on mine." I let my eyes find his, confirming he already knew that. In a flurry of blood I'd watch him die, with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

"Your...not afraid?"

"No, I predicted this." This is getting kinda boring, and quite annoying. It was gonna happen someday, I always figured he'd eventually do me in. His honey hued eyes narrow to feral slits, something very animalistic deep inside. Nothing but the purest of hatred flashing back at me.

And how beautiful it is.

"Tch, that's exactly what I hate about you Izaya!" His grip hardens almost snapping my bones like twigs on a tree. His breathing becoming erratic, he's enjoying this new found power. Like a kid with a toy, now just to rip my wings so to speak.

A smile spreads across his face, engulfing his entire features maliciously. That gleam in his eye, that's certainly new. "Pfft, your gonna torture me first? How sadistic of you!" How amusing, I never knew he was into that. Never assumed he had the capable brain power for it.

"Oh no, I have a better idea."

Against my wishes my skin prickles, his tone, that smirk. It's setting of numerous alarm bells with my sub conscience. Maybe just maybe, my prediction was a tad off.


"Well this is lame," Izaya muttered tiredly, not making any more effort to resist.

"I had no idea you were so light, your like a kid!"

"Ehhhhh, that's harsh and how would you even know that?"

Hefting the raven further up, Shizuo reaffirmed his grip as he strolled through the city. That wasn't anything unusual but doing it whilst having the dreaded Izaya Orihara over his shoulder was a first. Sure people stared, they gasped and whispered. But none of them not one would dare to intervene.

"Ahhh Shizuo, this is highly childish, even for you," Izaya let his eyes fall shut before adding, "it's uncomfortable as well."

Laughing shrilly the blond shook his head vigorously, "good, I want you to suffer bastard!"

Inhaling the others scent, the informant gave a tiny shrug. Really he'd prefer to do some damage, one that involved alot of blood. But a shrug was all he could manage. Izaya wasn't weak, he just wasn't a complete freak of nature. It was basic fact, there was no denying the vast difference in physical strength.

"In that case you'd get more enjoyment dragging me along the floor instead."

Shizuo glanced at the raven, well his ass to be more precise. As it was indeed quite lovely and pretty much all he could see aside from dark leathered legs. "What a weirdo, that'd ruin the rest of the night if I did that."

Humming deep in thought Izaya wondered, so far his rival was acting irrationally. He expected that but the fact that he was not yet dead was a mystery. The blond was not one to plan or think, he was pure violence and nothing more. Whatever was happening was not natural.

The rhythmic bounce of being carried like a sack of potatoes soon became repetitive. Not being able to lift his head since the start Izaya resigned himself to gazing at the floor. Willing himself to barf on the blond every now and then.

"Were here," cheering in a excited tone the Shizuo opened the door to his apartment. Apparently not everything had to be shattered by his foot or vending machines. As Izaya struggled to lift his head he felt himself fly upwards before slamming down to fast to blink.

On impact red eyes jolted opened, it was soft. Wriggling he managed to lift his gaze slightly, he was on a bed. Sprawled out entirely on the double sized black sheets. His mind failing him the informant stared dizzily upwards, "what's this?"

Grinning Shizuo leaned down, blocking the light above. "It's a bed genius." Stretching out the tall blond pointed to the room next door, pulling off his glasses as he did so. "I'm gonna clean up, be back in a sec." Without another word he left the room. Leaving Izaya to stare bewilder up at the ceiling wondering exactly what was happening to him and when he had taken drugs.

"This isn't happening, this is an trauma induced hallucination." Turning his head heavily to rest on his side Izaya let his eyes fall shut, "or maybe I'm dead and this is hell."

"Which is it Shizu chan?" he muttered in the silence, waiting for some kind of reply.

Upon hearing nothing but the cascade of water Izaya forced his eyes to open. Confusion fuelling him he struggled to gain some control over his body. It ached, not only that but it was in a word broken. Like something had snapped and his on switch went to off. Shizuo's crazy chasing did that to a guy.


Sooner or later, I can't tell which, he comes back into the room. From my more than awkward position I can see the dangerous look he's giving me. Not one of anger or hate but something altogether more worrying.

Letting his heavy weight fall upon me he grins somewhat insanely. I can't help but think I'm going to be eaten alive...maybe literally.

As he put his hand on me I can't deny a certain feeling of panic. He moves against me, almost like I invited him to do so. I struggle to keep my cool composure, if I have any at all.

I know it's stupid, I know it's predictable but I say it all the same. "What are you doing?" my fate is sealed and oh how harsh it is. I always knew I'd die violently but this.


"Either let me go or kill me Shizu chan, don't think this is an option."

"Why not? I've waited so long to have you at my mercy. You think I'd spoil it so soon?"

Letting his body press against the informants the ex bar tender grinned manically. For once having time to enjoy staring down at Izaya sprawled out like an idiot. Pulling at the informants jacket with more force than necessary.


"What's the matter Izaya? Your not afraid are you?" Running his hands under the ravens shirt Shizuo laughed, his rivals reaction was priceless.

"Your not still a virgin at 23? Or did you think sex was so human it was beneath you?"

"I never knew you were such a pervert Shizu chan." Hissing out in pain as fingers brushed against dark bruises Izaya pulled away, sinking further into the mattress beneath him. There was little he feared but such an unfitting end just seemed too wrong, even for him. Telling people to jump off buildings, that was fine. Why, because there was no force involved. Just some witty coaxing maybe.

As his shirt was ripped from him the informant growled, bucking his hips in hopes of freeing himself. Ignoring the rampant pain that ripped through his body as he moved. Broken bones or not he refused to take it so lightly. Stifling human like panic he glared up, "I always knew you were violent Shizuo but I never woulda believed you'd sink to this type of crime."

Stopping the blond smirked, running his fingers along a small leather belt mockingly. "You probably woulda pinned me for it at some point anyway, this is the first and last, consider yourself special!"

Forcing his limbs to move Izaya caught slightly larger hands in his. "There is no logic to this, fucking just kill me already!" Calming for a moment the raven haired informant smiled bitterly, "your hands are in the wrong place."

Pulling Shizuo's hands up Izaya rested them upon his chest, "they should be here, where my heart is." In his blood red eye's Izaya held an obvious conviction, willing the blond to take action. "Press down with that amazing strength of yours."

"I hate you Izaya, so much so that I can't stand it." Bring one hand to the infamous informants face Shizuo mused at the brunette flinched as if struck instead. "Now that I can actually touch you I can't seem to stop."

Izaya's brow creased, his eyes darting to the side as he wriggled weakly. Huffing allowed Shizuo quickly grasped smaller hands, suddenly careful not to touch the purple bruising that had newly appeared, in the shapes of his fingers no less.

He almost felt guilty before quickly shoving that thought aside when faced with who was in front of him. He had always noticed how Izaya was smaller than himself but because of his dangerous and all to calculated personality it didn't stand out. But now, looking down at the object of his hate everything seemed different.

Pale, flushed features, damp messy locks, spiked and sprawled out, hiding deep glazed over ruby eyes. Inwardly Shizuo had admitted it to himself a long time ago Izaya Orihara was truly beautiful.

But even beauty couldn't stop the fact that he was still a sarcastic, vindictive little asshole.

"Your going red Izaya, don't tell me your enjoying this."

"Not even going to take me to dinner first, how cheap Shizu chan."

"For once I'm gonna make you lose all your control, until your a total mess, just like the rest of us Izaya."


As he forces his lips on mine I become pleasantly numb. A strange kind of warmth spreading through my body like a subtle poison.

It's not exactly like I want this but I can't deny the deep awareness of how much I'm actually enjoying it. Yes, I'm a sick bastard I know, I get off on the weirdest things.

His tongue slips through to mine, so confident and unforgiving. Moving with skill and rhythm he's perfected on countless women I'm sure. Biting down hard I let my eyes slip shut. Hearing him hiss as he slams me down in annoyance is somewhat pleasant to my ears.

I'd do anything to annoy Shizu chan.

I'm not quite sure which of our blood is mixing between our tongues. Whichever it is, it's intoxicating.

Mine or his, it's all trivial.

This is the pleasure before the pain.

The light before the dark.

And all that other crap people dribble on about. One thing becomes apparent as his hand go lower, touching me in places I've never let anyone go. Truly he's a monster...


"Do you have any last requests Flea?"

"Let me go."


"Drop dead."

"No can do."

Considering the question calmly for a bit the Izaya decided on something. Letting an unnatural honest smile take over his features he breathed, eyes sparkling with an amused knowing.

"Tell me that you love me."

Shizuo paled, momentarily unsure of what to do. A soft recurring laugher pulled him from his thoughts. Izaya shook his head, tears building at the edge of his eyes as the laugher increased.

"I was kidding Shizu chan."


You'd think my last words would be something special. A witty remark or a snide comment. One that would undoubtedly irritate the crap outta him forever and ever. That's what I had planned, I always did say whatever first came to mind.

It's to bad really, our hates so perfect. So inhuman and utterly un touchable.

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you."

Go figure.