The Rookie Nine knew that Uzumaki Naruto was not picky about sex. It had been proven more than once that he was an excellent bed mate for both male and female partners and he almost never turned someone down. He was experienced in things that most of his friends hadn't even found out about until their late teens. Even now that the charismatic blond was Hokage, they still went to him on their lonely and unsatisfied nights. He never failed to impress, always having something new to practice on his partner. Nobody ever asked where he had learned these tricks and that was how he liked it. They all assumed he had learned them from the Icha Icha series. Either way, it was true, in an indirect way. So one day, when Haruno Sakura came to his office looking for a good time, she was shocked when he refused her, point blank.

"What do you mean, you won't have sex with me, Naruto?" She asked, a look of dumb suspicion on her face. Never had Naruto ever refused sex with her. Her! The strongest kunoichi in Konohagakure! It was unheard of! It was blasphemy! It was–

"Exactly what I said, Sakura-chan. I don't have time to pleasure every single ninja in the damn village, and I have an hour to write this report for the council, and –" As he said this, there was a knock on his office door and before he could answer it, a Jôunin strode in lazily, nose buried in his perverse, little, orange book.

"Naruto-sama..." Kakashi said, drawing out the 'a' of the honorific and smirking beneath his mask. Said blond froze, the pen in his hand snapping cleanly in two, ink splattering the front of his robes. His back rose and fell quickly as he took several steadying breaths and composed himself to look at the lazy, pervert. "You do realize that getting that report to the council by six is more important than screwing Sakura, ne, Naru-chan?"

Sakura looked between them, blushing, mouth agape and suspicions forgotten as she tried to piece together the little differences in the way Kakashi said his name as opposed to how she said it. What had made Naruto snap like that? Was it irritation at being interrupted again? Was it just the fact that it was Kakashi? Or were the combined stresses of late piling up on him and weighing him down to the point where he was liable to snap at the next person? Not once did it occur to her that it may have been Kakashi's choice of wording that had made his temper flare up.

Naruto's head snapped up then, a grin so cheerful it was scary plastered on his lips. He was squinting slightly as if his smile was too big or the sun was in his face. Which, now that Sakura thought about it, it was. Or it could have been the bright red chakra swirling around the hand in which the two halves of pen still rested that was making the light. She mumbled something about needing to get home and make dinner for her kids and Lee, then took off through the open window that she had come into.

Immediately after Naruto heard the telltale swish of Sakura's skirt blowing around as she jumped out the window, he dropped all pretences, put his head in his hands and began to cry in earnest. Kakashi watched this and, trying to act like a piece of furniture, settled in while Naruto had his breakdown.

In five years under the direct service of Rokudaime Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto, Kakashi had seen the master shinobi break down all of twice. The first time, when he killed Sasuke, had been explosive. He had rampaged in the Forest of Death for three days and at the end of it, Kakashi had been the one there to pick up the pieces (almost literally) and slap some sense into him. The second time had happened after a chain of events that escalated into an all out war between Konohagakure and Iwagakure. The pressure on the blond Hokage had been so great that not minutes after the treaty had been signed, he had collapsed onto an awkward Kakashi and sobbed desperately into his flak vest.

Naruto never made any noise when he cried. It was as if he was afraid that letting the sound out would make him seem more vulnerable. In actuality though, it made him seem like a broken soul. When his smile slipped and gave way to tears it was as if the last vestiges of happiness were leaking out of the creases of the very carefully folded paper that was the world. His smile was a thing to look forward to in times of desperation. A silver lining in the cloud of despair.

This time was similar to those except Naruto wasn't using Kakashi as a tissue for once. The silver haired Jôunin had always felt useless when people cried around him. He never had any idea what to do because nobody had been there to do it for him. It had been the worst when Obito had died and Rin turned into an emotional mess whenever she saw Kakashi's eye. That was the main reason behind covering it up (other than the fact that it used up copious amounts of chakra when it wasn't).

Kakashi waited until Naruto had exhausted his supply of tears before creeping over and placing a reassuring hand on a still shaking shoulder. Naruto looked up at him with red rimmed eyes and gave him a watery smile that he couldn't help but chuckle at. Naruto returned the light laugh and soon they were both crying for a different reason that, later, neither of them could remember.

"Ah, thanks Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said still smiling, "I needed that." Then he did something he rarely did to anyone any more.

He hugged Kakashi right around his middle.

Kakashi's look of surprise lasted only a moment before he returned the hug, his features melting into a soft look that was specially reserved for Naruto. He nudged the tan chin up with a finger, pressed a soft kiss to a whiskered cheek and whispered, "Any time, Naru-chan."

He could feel the grin widening under his lips and nibbled lightly along the strong jawline, smirking when the blond shuddered pleasantly against him. Kakashi grew bolder at that and mouthed at Naruto's fluttering eyelids, chuckling as they squeezed tightly shut at the tickle. He gave a light lick to the twitching nose and full out laughed when the blond sneezed loudly, grumbling about 'silly Jôunin and their wandering lips'. Then he lifted his hitai-ate and gazed searchingly into Naruto's eyes.

Kakashi had always loved Naruto's eyes. They were the most expressive part of him other than his loud mouth (which, now that Kakashi thought about it, could definitely be put to better use). When he was happy, they twinkled brightly, no matter the amount of natural or artificial light. The blues in them would change subtly between a colour akin to the sky and something unnameable that was deeper, more unpredictable than the waters of the Forest of Death. When he was angry, they flashed like lightning, strong tones of green and hazel peeking out from behind dilated, black pupils. It was a dangerous colour that no artist could imitate, and although many had tried, none had even come close.

Kakashi felt chagrined to admit that Naruto's eyes were the most beautiful when he was sad. Not even the oceans of the Land of Waves could compare to the hues and shades that flitted through his eyes behind low hanging lashes or salty tears. Kakashi had seen these colours once in his life and had regretted the circumstances almost enough to forget the sheer beauty and expressiveness of the colourful irises.

Now though, they held all the words that Naruto never used (I'm happy I'm sad I'm angry I love this I hate being Hokage I love you) and Kakashi could read them all, as clear as day. His own eyes, many people said, were almost always dull and lazy, and there were few people that he knew well enough to let his guard down in front of. Naruto was one of those (extremely) lucky few and it had taken a long time for him to earn that.

Kakashi wasn't prepared for the unguarded admiration and love in those eyes and had to blink away sudden happy tears. As Naruto reached up to slide his mask down, he couldn't help but smile toothily at how far they had come in their relationship. He knew they would have to deal with the repercussions of Naruto's status as Sex Genius, but they would cross that bridge when it came.


Haruno Sakura prided herself on her her strength as a shinobi, as a mother and as a wife. Godaime Hokage, Tsunade-sama had been the one to teach her medical ninjutsu and chakra control and kami-sama (and Jiraiya) knew that her physical strength was almost limitless. The finite art of crumpling her chakra into her fist and releasing it explosively on point of contact was a skill that not many had the resolve to try. But Tsunade had also taught her how to control her emotions (to some degree). Sakura never showed her true emotions, no matter how much it seemed like she did and it more often than not, it got her into trouble with the ANBU Black Ops for socking the Rokudaime Hokage a good one. Naruto, being the ever-faithful friend he was, always managed to get her out of trouble though and she was eternally grateful for it. She was fair and just and when she ran the Mission Desk at the Academy, she used her personal experience to try to assign missions as reasonably as possible.

Her shinobi battle skills blended seamlessly with her parenting style and her children were raised on a velvet cushion with an iron fist poised over them. Her house rules were unbreakable and her punishments were strict, but reasonable and she was not mean. Her ferocity was a show of the love she held in her heart for them. She raised her children like ninja, inadvertently teaching them to stringently follow the Ninja Handbook of Guidelines and Laws. Her twin daughters and one son were strong willed and well behaved both in class and at home.

As a wife, she exercised still more control. She had married Rock Lee when she was twenty-one and, almost immediately, she had trained him in the art of Fashion. Everyone knew that the Lee–Gai combination had even worse fashion sense than Naruto who wore orange in copious amounts. Orange was a tolerable colour on him and she knew that her long-time friend would never give up on the what best expressed his personality, seeing as he wore his emotions on his sleeve. Sakura had disposed of Lee's green jumpsuit in secret (meaning she gave it to Yamanaka Ino, who turned it into a faux flower jutsu) and hid- uh, stored his orange legwarmers in the attic of their inner-village house. Then came the next challenge. Teaching him how to cook.

She applied her stealth skills generously here, for Lee was known widely for his ability to cause his cooking materials to spontaneously combust. The first thing she taught him was that vegetable oil was not his friend no matter how pretty a colour it was when it was warm. A lion was pretty and warm but did that mean that he should stick his head into its mouth to see what it felt like? No. Absolutely not. She was pleased to discover that he was in fact a fast learner and there were no more accidents with cooking oil while she was on leave. While she was on missions however, was a different story, for another time.

As Sakura was jumping across the roofs to get home, she examined these skills with an introspective scrunch to her eyebrows. All in all, she was a well rounded kunoichi. So why couldn't she piece together Kakashi and Naruto's behaviour? It really should have been a simple thing, she thought, and yet she was stumped by it.

Before she knew it, she was poised at her front door, a hand on her chin and a look of dawning recognition on her face. It must have been some kind of secret code between the Jôunin and everyone's favourite Hokage. A message of sorts that had been passes in the very position of their words. Sakura's resolve hardened then. She would find out what that message was if it was the last thing she did.

However, the determined scowl that she had adopted was wiped off her face when she entered her house to find ten people whispering conspiratorially to each other in her living room. Sitting in juxtaposition to each other, dirty sandals on her table, filthy bottoms on her couch, were the original Rookie Nine (with the exception of Naruto and Sasuke and the addition of Sai) and Gai-sensei's team.

The quiet chatter stopped as one by one, the teams noticed that she was standing in her doorway. Only Lee, who was good at discerning Sakura's moods, noticed the slight shaking of her arms that showed the imminent explosion of real anger. He saw her take two calming breaths and give an almost imperceptible shake of the head when he moved towards her. This lasted only a few seconds before she looked up, drew a breath and shouted, "GET YOUR DAMN FEET OFF MY DAMN TABLE, IDIOTS!"

There was a rustling of clothing as everyone repositioned themselves and Sakura took (another) deep, steadying breath, before glaring suspiciously at the assembled group. "Lee-kun," She snapped, "What is going on and where are the kids?"

Lee fumbled a bit before answering, "We-well, Sakura-san, the group believes, a-and I do too, that Na-Naruto-kun may be..." He trailed off with a helpless flail of his hands and looked at his friends for help. Lee had never been good with serious talking.

"What he's trying to say, Sakura-san," Hyuuga Neji cut in swiftly, "Is that we think Naruto-sama is seeing someone, full-time. He has declined every proposition thrown at him for the past week, claiming that he has too much work to do, and every time it seems like someone will get a positive reply, this council member or that Daimyo pops in and disturbs him. It's really quite worrying," He finished with a twitch of his aristocratic eyebrows that could have been a worried frown, but looked more menacing on him.

"The kids are at Yuriko-san's house, my love." Lee said timidly. Sakura nodded, then blinked. She blinked again. Then gave herself a hard pinch to make sure she wasn't under a genjutsu. So she wasn't the only one who had been refused? Well that evened things out a bit, she thought, slightly maliciously (if she couldn't get any, why should they). But where had they come up with a theory like Naruto seeing someone? She voiced her question and was surprised at the person who replied.

"Kakashi," began Shikamaru in a shaky voice (she guessed that she had really scared her friends), "Kakashi-sensei has been hanging around Naruto quite often as of late. You almost never see one without the other. At first I thought that he might have been there as an extra guard or something, but..."

"You don't see how they look at each other, Forehead." Ino finished for her team mate. She was unfazed by the outburst, as she had known the pink haired kunoichi her whole life, "When Kakashi-sensei thinks no one is looking, he sort of gazes at Naru-chan. Like if anyone came near, he would rip them a new one. And Naru-chan does the same thing, except it looks like he's going to go wild on your ass if even one of Kakashi-sensei's freaky hairs is out of place."

Sakura nodded in understanding. She had noticed that her old sensei had been spending rather a long time in the company of Konohagakure's favourite fuck-buddy, she thought the word with distaste, despite it being true. It wasn't a bad thing, per se, but it was certainly a thing of intrigue. Kakashi had hardly paid any attention to Naruto during their younger days and now that Sasuke was out of the picture, the blond had taken the stage.

Wait a second...

"You don't think," a look of dawning recognition crossed her face, "You don't think he's using Naruto to replace Sa-Sasuke-kun, do you?" If anyone noticed how she stumbled over the name, they said nothing, electing to stare at her in wide-eyed shock and anger. Not at her, she thought, through her, looking beneath the underneath, as Kakashi had dubbed it. But none of them was thinking about that.

In her opinion, this was the time to put their shinobi skills to a real test. Kakashi was one of the most skilled ninja in the whole of the Land of Fire. He was in every renegade shinobi's Bingo Book, and had managed to get into the books of several political figureheads during his short time as a substitute Hokage. He was the height of the elite. The creme de la crop. Not many shinobi could best Kakashi in a fight, and even fewer could keep tabs on him without being brutally outed and thoroughly embarrassed. His Sharingan eye gave him the ability to predict an opponent's movements ahead of time and heightened his already fine-tuned senses. And to top it off, if Naruto, who had the senses of a fox, was constantly around him, it would make the task at hand doubly difficult. Sakura had no doubt in her mind what they had to do to discover the truth.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she began, an absolutely evil smirk gracing her pretty features, "Everyone in this room has experienced how Kakashi-sensei is in an espionage situation. We know that his lazy attitude is only a front that covers up his brilliance as a shinobi and that front enables him to appear as if he is acting one way when really, he is up to something entirely different." Nods and dark looks were exchanged around the room at this and Sakura's smirk widened.

"In this instance, we are going to have to pull together every last shred of information we have on our dear old sensei and Konohagakure's favourite Number One Knuckle-headed Ninja. We are going to have to train in stealth non-stop for a month," she had made this up on the spot, but the gasps and looks of interest her were enough encouragement for her to go on, "in order to even begin this mission."

She did a bit of quick thinking here, a finger pressed thoughtfully to the seam of her lips. A light bulb flicked on in her head and she smiled at the challenge she had presented herself, "My friends, it is time we begin operation Sōsa Hakken."


Hey, guys! So this is jeeg94 back with a new fic for all of ya'll who like KakaNaru. For those of you who don't know, the reason I haven't updated in a while is because I've been going through a really rough and emotional time of my life and reading other people's fics (much love to NavyBlueWings, Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love and DetoxAngel for being some of my favourite authors and helping me get through this) has given me much more enjoyment than writing. I came up with this idea at random, one day in English class and expanded on it from there, and most of it is completely winged because I like writing spontaneously as opposed to planning it (part of why I haven't updated in a while is because I have ADHD and I get distracted reeeeeeeally easily. As such, I've lost interest in most of my fics until further notice. I might start putting my fics up for adoption if i can't find the motivation to keep working on them... Notify me if there are any you want to adopt :D).

So, tell me what you think, (if you love it, I want to know! If you hate it, I want to know!) and I'll be really happy :)

Seriously... Your reviews are what's keeping me going right now.

Lots of love,

jeeg94 :)

P.S. That part about Lee's cooking? I will turn that into a fic eventually. It's just too good to pass up :)