A/N: Based on the inception kink prompt "Arthur and Eames get together through a series of embarrassing Autocorrect fails." Texts are in [brackets]. Rating is for language and innuendo. Lots, and lots, of language and innuendo...

Disclaimer: As usual, the dirty imagination is all mine. Not the characters.

The job was scheduled for New Years Eve. A drunken blackout was the perfect cover for dream-sharing. Unfortunately, working over the holidays came with a unique set of inconveniences. Last year Eames had spent the New Year in Rio. He had packed one pair of jeans, three shirts, and four bathing suits (and had returned with two shirts, two bathing suits, a bikini top, and several strands of beads). This year he was packing his one wool suit, a chullo, fingerless gloves, flannel pajamas, and a wool sweater he had bought off a homeless man during that one job in Moscow – desperate climes call for desperate measures. It still reeked of vodka.

His phone chirped, indicating a text.

[Cobb (1:43 pm): all the hotel had left was a double]

Eames imagined that sharing a room with Cobb would be very much like sharing a room with his father. Funky aftershave, lots of snoring, and no porn.

[Eames (1:44 pm): I hate the holocaust]

[Eames (1:44 pm): *holidays]

[Eames (1:44 pm): also the holocaust]

[Cobb (1:45 pm): do you mind sharing with Arthur?]

Eames smiled at his phone. He could see Arthur in his pajamas! Black silk pants and a white beater, perhaps. Or maybe just black boxer-briefs. Or nothing at all?

[Eames (1:45 pm): I love the holocaust]

[Eames (1:46 pm): Sorry *holidays rubbish autocorrect]

[Eames (1:46 pm): No]

[Cobb (1:46: pm): you won't share?]

[Eames (1:47 pm): duck]

[Eames (1:47 pm): duck]

[Eames (1:47 pm): shirt]

[Eames (1:47 pm): *FUCK SHIT yes]

[Eames (1:47 pm): yes ass in I'll share]

[Eames (1:48 pm): *as]

[Eames (1:52 pm): Hello? Cobb?]