Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or the songs that have been mentioned.
I am not an an expert on Braxton-Hicks contractions or PTSD.
This is sixty-six pages. I might faint now. Like, really faint.
REO Speedwagon: Keep On Loving You, Ridin' out the Storm
Blue Oyster Cult: Fire of Unknown Origin
ACDC: Love at First Feel
George Michael: Careless Whisper
Whitney Houston: I Will Always Love You
I made a few changes from the original storyline. Ben is Lisa's adopted son. I know he's her actual son but I made the change in this story.
"Untitled" by Chuck
"It seems as though I'm interrupting," the voice was low and grating, deeper than what it had been when the owner of the voice had left but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Dean recognized the owner of the voice. He hadn't heard it in three years, seven months, one week, and four days. He wasn't counting the minutes.
"Cas," Dean said. He stared at the man in his army greens, a man clearly unused to crowded bars, crazy partying, and strippers-
But that went a little too far into the story.
See once upon a time, there was a man named Dean. Dean was the epitome of "bad boy." He wore a leather jacket, walked around with a confident, cocky, smirk, and could have anyone he wanted in bed. He had his own car and he never seemed to settle with anyone person. People who didn't know Dean would believe that. People who knew Dean… well people who knew Dean believed that, but they also knew the reason behind all the "bad boy" things that made Dean, well, Dean.
People who knew Dean knew that the leather jacket belonged to Dean's deceased father. He wore the jacket for sentimental reasons and eventually, it became his own. He walked around with a confident, cocky smirk because he couldn't afford to be insecure. See, in Dean's family, there had been his mother and father, and of course, his little brother Sam. His father had taught him to be a man after their mother had died. Dean had to raise Sam because their father did what he could to support them. Dean couldn't show insecurity in front of him. He had to grow up fast to take care of Sam.
And as for taking anyone he wanted into his bed? Well, Dean had no problem taking anyone into his bed. In all honesty, that was probably the one "bad boy" quality that Dean truly possessed. Make no mistake though; once Dean was with someone, really with someone, he never cheated. He didn't take anyone else into his bed and he stayed true. It wasn't that he didn't flirt. Once in awhile he let himself slip, but he never cheated. There were only a handful of people Dean had been truly with, though.
The second was a woman named Cassie. Cassie was Dean's second love. You may wonder why you're being told about the second love first. Don't worry about that right now. But basically, Cassie and Dean would never have worked. Maybe in a different universe, they might have lasted but there were too many obstacles in the way. See, Dean's father and brother were always at odds and Dean was stuck in the middle. Dean was with Cassie physically- he never cheated- but emotionally, he was somewhere else. Cassie thought Dean wanted to end the relationship. He never told her about her family problems. She ended it and they saw each other again about two or three years later. They agreed they were never good at the whole "relationship" thing. They were better at the physical thing.
Jo… Well, Dean and Jo were never actually together. They had feelings for each other- there was no doubt about that but Dean and Jo met after Dean's father passed away. He took off on foot and got lost in town and met her at a bar. She was the daughter of the owner, Ellen. It was just the, "wrong place and wrong time." Dean sometimes visits Jo and Ellen but Jo and Dean aren't fooling themselves anymore. Instead, they enjoy flirting with each other when the opportunity presents itself even though they know it will never end in the bedroom or in a relationship.
Before the Winchesters moved to our city, there was a woman named Lisa. Dean was travelling around in his beloved Impala and they had a good night together. That one night was all it was though. Dean thought about that night for a long time until he got the phone call saying his dad died. After he had somewhat gotten over his father's death, he paid Lisa another visit and found out she had a son. Ben. Ben wasn't his son (or even Lisa's by blood- she adopted him) but that didn't stop Dean from treating him like he was. Dean had always wanted his own family. Sometimes, he still stops by and pays Ben a visit, tossing the football around and he's always ready to answer a phone call from Ben when his mother doesn't understand the "man problem" he's having. Although Ben wants Dean to be his father, he isn't trying to set his mom and Dean up anymore.
And that leads us to Dean's first love.
See, Dean finally grew a pair and admitted to a fifteen year old why he couldn't be with his mom. Dean was in love with someone from his home, someone he had met when he was nineteen. People say love is blind. Well, Dean is blind to his own love. In fact, he tried to run from it many times. Dean and Sam found a permanent home in a small city. In that city, there was a boy a little younger than Dean but older than Sam. He was an odd little thing. He had big blue eyes. Those eyes were a storm- sometimes passionate, angry, confused- but the boy wore his heart in his eyes. He stared a lot and he didn't understand the meaning of "personal space." Dean was probably his favorite thing to stare at, because like I said earlier, the boy named after an angel wore his heart in his eyes.
Castiel. Castiel Novak.
Castiel was Dean's best friend. You'd think they'd have known each other forever. Actually, they met when Castiel was seventeen and Dean was nineteen. The two were eventually inseparable. Where Dean was, Castiel wasn't far behind or invading his personal space. Where Castiel was, Dean was either there with his arm slung around his shoulders casually or just around the corner. They shared everything together, eventually becoming more than just best friends.
On one rainy day in January, the first January after they met, Dean took Castiel's first kiss, in the town gazebo where the two had run under to try and stay dry. A romance writer would say it stopped raining after that simple kiss. Really, it just got windier and rained a little harder. It wasn't at all that romantic either. Castiel, very protected by his family and pretty much everyone in town, and raised very religious, was so surprised that he took a step backwards, stepped on the edge of the gazebo and fell down the stairs into the mud.
Needless to say but I'll say it anyways, that first kiss hadn't gone very well. Castiel and Dean were so embarrassed; they couldn't look at each other without blushing for weeks. It was really quite the spectacle. It was almost a shame it ended. How did it end? Well, Dean was waiting for Castiel because he was picking him up to go see a movie with the rest of us (you'll find out who "us" is later, but we're not important right now) and we wouldn't let Dean get out of picking Castiel up, because really, what are friends for, if not for torturing their friends?
Anyways, we had Dean pick Castiel up. We were getting sick and tired of them not being able to look at each other. Of course, we didn't know what had happened at the time. Although, everything was better than fixed when we went to the movies and found Castiel against a wall, Dean's hands in his hair and tongue down his throat. Turns out that Castiel's older brother Gabriel opened the screen door after Castiel had closed it because he found his wallet (which we suspect Gabriel had the whole time) and hit Castiel with it, knocking him forward and into Dean. Dean had been slouching against the banister and Castiel and Dean weren't all that different in height- maybe three inches at the most. Dean had had his eyes closed and wasn't able to stop Castiel before their lips met.
And it was too bad for Castiel's cousin Anna. She had the biggest crush on Dean. He never really returned the sentiment. He thought she was hot and all (because she was smoking hot) but Castiel was the one who truly had his heart.
It was a sloppy second kiss but hey, at least no one fell in the mud this time.
But from then on until Castiel left for the military at age twenty, we had to deal with Dean's tongue down Castiel's throat. I think all of us would agree that we'd rather have the two blushing and making it more entertaining for us instead of squirming uncomfortably and being extra wheels on a car when they decided to go at it.
No one really ever found out when they took each other's virginity. We probably could have found out if we asked but guys don't ask each other when they did another dude if they're not gay. Well, this one girl did ask but we all thought she was a little bit psycho and so they didn't tell her. We put bets on it because hey, guys bet on things. Andy bet it was the night before they started acting all weird. Gabriel rolled his eyes and hit Andy on the head, saying that Castiel was too much of a prude for that. He said that they'd go eight months because that's when Castiel's nineteenth birthday would be. Sam was too young to be included in on that bet and we didn't want Dean hunting us for the rest of our lives. Me? I originally said four months, because that'd have been around the time when they first met. The Winchesters moved to the city in May. If you want an actual day, you'd have to ask Castiel. I changed my bet to a year after Castiel's nineteenth birthday. Because that's when Castiel shipped out for the military, right after his father disappeared. They decided to end it in case something went wrong.
Dean was heartbroken.
It was a short relationship if you think of it in terms of "labels." I think that for the rest of us, it was always a relationship. There was no Dean without Castiel and no Castiel without Dean. After they met, something just clicked between them. But when Castiel left, we all got to see a Dean without a Castiel. Let me be the one to tell you, it wasn't a pretty sight.
He tried to pretend like nothing was wrong at first but we knew. We knew every time a letter would come in the mail or how Dean gradually stopped coming out with us, only going to work and to pick Sam up from school. When we tried to confront him about it, Sam was in college, he went on a road trip, supposedly to see Sam. During that road trip, he did his best to forget about Castiel. He met Lisa and had his one night stand. From there, he met Cassie and had a few good weeks with her. Dean had heard both his Dad and his brother, two of the most important people in his life, fighting and he didn't know how to deal. A running Dean is a different Dean. The people who know him know when he's running. Cassie thought he was running from them. In truth, he kind of was. She wasn't Castiel. But after that ended, Dean got the news about his dad dying. He met Jo then. After leaving Jo and Ellen, he met Cassie and then Lisa again a few years later.
A few years after that, when Castiel was twenty-four and Dean was twenty-six, Castiel was honorably discharged from service due to an injury, was when Castiel finally came back home, where we all were in the crowded bar with the strippers in the middle of our crazy partying.
But I'm not going to take you back to that moment just yet because Dean had been going a little crazy. You see, Sam's girlfriend (Sam is his little brother for those of you who don't remember), Jessica, died four months ago. Sam quit college and came home. Dean has been at a loss of how exactly to help Sam. Sam wasn't acting like himself. He was having sex with random women, hustling pool, getting into fights- and that wasn't Sam.
So I'm going to take you to about a week before that. I'm going to take you to the main cause of Dean's stress. Sam.
"Come on already!" Sam smirked, wiping the blood off of his lower lip. "That all you got?" The person he was fighting was already sweating, where as Sam was hardly breaking a sweat. People really should have known better than to mess with Sam Winchester. Dean and Sam's father was a marine. He made sure his boys knew how to defend themselves. Dean had taken to it more than Sam had though, but Sam was no slouch. He never really had to fight for himself but that didn't mean he couldn't defend himself.
If Dean had seen Sam right now, he would have dragged his ass out from this fight and done him in himself. Luckily, for Sam, Dean wasn't here.
"Go to Hell!" the dude snarled, lunging at Sam again. Sam moved out of the way, jerking his knee upwards and kneeing him in the stomach. He didn't take the easy hit and hit the guy's back. He just moved out of the way and waited for the guy to get up again. It wasn't really a sense of honor that kept Sam from hitting him from behind. The fewer cheap shots there were, the longer the fight lasted.
A siren went off and the fighting screeched to a halt. Sam looked as though he was going to continue fighting but a hand on his arm stopped him.
"Let's go," the owner of the hand said and Sam went, casting a glare at his opponent's back.
"Cigarette?" Jake Talley offered. Sam took it without hesitating, holding his hand to shield it from the wind as Jake lit it. If you knew Sam, you'd know he didn't do anything detrimental to his health. He ate healthy. He drank in moderation, which was a miracle with Dean as his brother. Well, maybe not so much a miracle as Dean. Dean had done his best to raise Sam right.
"So, what happened when I dropped you off last night?" Jake asked. Jake Talley was the same age as Sam. Like Castiel, he tried applying for the army but he was rejected due to his anger issues. Everyone in town knew he had anger issues. We never thought it'd be a reason to get rejected from the army… or a reason why we finally couldn't get him out of town.
"Same old, same old," Sam shrugged. "Dean yelled at me. I yelled back. Dean told me to get out. I spent the night at Chuck's."
"The drunk?" Jake asked. See, the old Sam saw the best in everyone. Before his life got messed up, he would have said, "the writer." But Sam didn't really know who he was right now. He was just trying to make the hurt go away.
"Yeah," Sam said.
Dean barely noticed his friends as he slammed the door to the diner, storming into the bathroom. He didn't pause to think about what stall he headed into. He just headed into the first one there and then he cursed at what he saw. He went into the next stall over and after doing his business, he stormed back out, this time towards his friend.
"Give me a knife," Dean ordered.
"You can't kill Sam," Andy rolled his eyes.
"I'm not going to kill Sam- yet. I'm going to cross out those stupid initials in the bathroom stall," Dean snapped. We all knew what initials he was talking about. I doubt there was anyone in town that didn't- C.N. & D.W. Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester. Dean always was in a bad mood after seeing those initials.
"You can't. You almost got us kicked out of here for good because you carved those initials in the wall," Chuck said. That's me. I'm Chuck. I'm your narrator. "Just stop reading the writing on the wall or use a different stall." You might have heard of me- or rather, my books. That's right. My penname is Carver Edlund. I wrote Supernatural. Oh… you haven't heard of it? Well, it's not that well known and it's not like I do it for the money…
"Yeah, well-" Dean began.
"Castiel is coming home," Gabriel interrupted.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Cas. Is. Coming. Home. Honorably discharged," Gabriel repeated. "Slow enough for your slow, feeble mind, Winchester?"
"When?" Dean swallowed.
"In a week," Gabriel said. "So watch what you say before you go shooting off your mouth. I got to go to work." He threw a ten on the table to take care of his bill and then he left. Dean stared at his half eaten bacon double cheeseburger and then placed it down. He threw a matching bill on the table and got up to leave, grabbing his jacket.
"Do you want that?" Andy asked.
"Go ahead, Andy," Chuck rolled his eyes but the banter didn't hide the fact that they were worried. Dean never left a cheeseburger uneaten. It seemed all he ate was cheeseburgers. The door to the diner opened again and in came the younger Winchester.
"Dean here?" Sam asked casually. "Hey, Pam, get me a bacon double cheeseburger?"
"Sure thing, sweet cheeks," the waitress winked.
"Left just before you got here," Andy said helpfully.
"Hey, thanks for letting me crash at your place," Sam told Chuck.
"Yeah, no problem," Chuck said. If Chuck- if I were a stronger man, I would have told him that yes, there was a problem. The problem was he was getting into random fights and starting them. He wasn't the Sam we knew. But of course, since Sam is huge, and I have the strength of a writer (we're very weak, if you didn't know) I didn't say anything.
"So we hear Castiel is coming back," Andy said after Pamela brought Sam's order. Sam seemed to pause for a moment before he resumed eating.
"Doesn't he have another year of active duty?" Sam asked.
"Honorably discharged," Chuck supplied. "Gabriel didn't give details."
"Honorably…" Sam trailed off. "That's… is he okay?"
"It's Cas, Sam. Go ask Dean," Andy said. "He's the Castiel expert."
"Uh, yeah, right," Sam said.
"So, uh, was that Jake I saw you outside with?" Chuck asked.
"Yeah, why?" Sam asked, sounding dangerously defensive.
"No reason!" Chuck squeaked.
"Sam, relax. We're just asking," Andy rolled his eyes. "Chuck, have you been on drugs again? You look like you're going into withdrawal symptoms."
"I'm not on drugs!" Chuck said loudly, making everyone in the diner look at him. "Um… good day, everybody… uh, I'm drunk!" He grabbed the last of his French fries and walked out of the diner, pretending he was drunk. Before Chuck even got to the door, everyone turned their attention back to themselves. Chuck being drunk wasn't an unnatural occurrence. And for the record, I was not on drugs. Ever. Once. That's a different story… I was in high school! Stop looking at me like that!
"Sam, come one. Level with me," Andy said. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Sam said, giving him a fake smile.
"Sam," Andy said. "I've known you since we were what, fourteen, fifteen? Come on. And don't give me 'nothing'. You've been different ever since you got back. Look man, I know you're hurt. Remember when my crazy twin brother found me and tried to kill Tracey? You helped talk him down and saved all of us. Let me help you, man."
"Andy…" Sam said. He looked as though he wanted to say something but the door opened.
"Sam, we're going to hang out by the river. You coming?" Jake asked.
"Yeah, I'm coming," Sam said. "I'll see you later, Andy."
"Yeah, right," Andy said, not sounding to enthusiastic as Sam got up to leave with Jake. "Sam! Be my best man." Sam stopped at the door and turned back towards Andy, jaw opened slightly.
"You're getting married?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, I asked Tracey last night," Andy said. "I would've asked my brother but you know, in a psych ward and he tried to kill the bride-to-be… so, that kind of leaves you. Are you up for the job?" Sam walked back to the table and looked slightly in awe.
"Of- of course!" Sam stumbled. "Congratulations! I thought you were never going to settle down! What changed?" Andy blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Uh, well, don't tell anyone I told you, but she's uh, pregnant," Andy stuttered. "I mean, we're happy and all- I was thinking about proposing before she told me the news so… yeah."
"Wow," Sam said. "Wow. Andy, this is great! You're the first one to get married!" Andy allowed himself to smile because it seemed like the old Sam was shining through. "So when's the wedding?"
"Uh, soon. We wanted a shotgun wedding. You know we're not really people people," Andy said.
"Okay, how soon?" Sam asked.
"Two and a half weeks,"
Actually, Andy wasn't even planning to have a bachelor party let alone a real wedding. He and Tracey were planning on skipping off to Vegas or somewhere and getting married- shotgun wedding or even signing their names on a certificate and getting it done. They hadn't told any of this to any of us. I found out when- well, you'll see when I found out.
The point was, it kept Sam happy for awhile and for that while, it looked like our Sam was back.
"Hey, Tracey," Andy said.
"Hey," she smiled back.
"I have something to tell you," he said nervously.
"Are you pregnant?" she asked jokingly.
"Well no but you are," he said. "No, uh, I kind of told Sam I wanted him to be the best man at our wedding…" Tracey paused then, turning to look at Andy.
"I thought we were going to elope?" she said carefully.
"I thought so too… but Sam, he's been acting so different and-" he was cut off when Tracey kissed him.
"Alright. But Chuck had better not show up drunk," Tracey warned. Andy gave her a weak smile.
"No promises on that one," Andy said. Well, if there was one thing I could be counted on for, it was being drunk. But then again, hanging around the people I hung around with was stressful, then there was the writing and the bills and the- oh. I'm ranting. Right, onto the story.
"I can't believe Sam got you strippers," Dean snorted.
"Well, when Sam puts his mind to something," Andy winced. "I hope Tracey doesn't kill me." Dean chuckled and patted Andy on the back as they walked into the bar. Dean let out a low whistle. He was surprised. He hadn't thought Sam would know how to throw a party.
"Didn't even know you were planning on getting married," Chuck said, almost bitterly.
"I proposed the night before I asked Sam to be my best man," Andy said. "Hey, guys, no hard feelings, right? Trace and I were going to run to Vegas or something, elope, you know? Take a honeymoon and come back in a few months… this was kind of a spur of the moment kind of thing."
"How were you planning on getting to Vegas, genius? I don't think Trace would have been alright with traveling in the back of your car and asking for favors every time you needed something," Dean rolled his eyes. Andy grinned with a shrug.
"Hey, it's been working so far," Andy said. Dean and Chuck let out a bark of laughter as Gabriel joined them.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"Andy's uncanny ability to get everything he wants by just asking," Chuck supplied.
"Hey, stop using big words," Dean grinned. "We ain't in school anymore."
"Did you even graduate?" Andy asked.
"Got my G.E.D. when Cas-" Dean cut himself off. "Got my G.E.D. a few months after I moved here." Andy hadn't quite started hanging out with us regularly until Sam saved him and Tracey from his crazy twin. He didn't know much about Dean's past. He knew us in elementary school but we weren't that close back then. Like everyone else, he knew the Winchesters moved into the city. He wasn't really around for the talks about how Castiel was going to college and why Dean wasn't looking at any of them. Castiel (and Sam, once he had gotten wind of what Castiel was trying to do) convinced Dean to get his G.E.D.
"Hey, why is everyone standing around?" Sam grinned. "Come on, it's your bachelor party man!" Andy laughed as he was pulled away by Sam. Dean smiled after them, taking a chair and sitting down next to Chuck as an attractive stripper made her way over to him.
"Well alright then," Dean grinned as he shifted into a more comfortable position.
"Oh, y-yes, al-alright then," Chuck said, turning into a lobster as another dancer situated herself of Chuck's lap.
"Relax, Chuck. I know I am," Dean smirked.
"R-r-r-relax… r-r-r-r-r-right," Chuck stuttered.
Of course, there comes a time and place when fate strikes when you least expect it.
And that brings us to the beginning of our story again.
"It seems as though I'm interrupting," the voice was low and grating, deeper than what it had been when the owner of the voice had left but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Dean recognized the owner of the voice. He hadn't heard it in three years, seven months, one week, and four days. He wasn't counting the minutes.
"Cas," Dean said. He stared at the man in his army greens, a man clearly unused to crowded bars, crazy partying, and strippers in his ex-boyfriend's lap. The bar was silent and the stripper, unsure of what to do, took Sam's signal to get off of his brother. Castiel's eyes hadn't left Dean's for a second until Andy approached him.
"Cas, man, glad you could make it," Andy swallowed. "I thought you weren't coming home for another three days."
"I caught an earlier bus," Castiel said. "I hear you are getting married. Congratulations."
"Thanks," Andy said. "Um, are you going to stay for my bachelor party?" Castiel's eyes shifted towards Dean and then he shook his head. "Well, you're at least coming for the wedding, right? It's in two days."
"Thank you for the invitation. I will be there. I came to tell Gabriel I was home and to ask for the key," Castiel grunted. "It seems the spare one has been removed." His eyes landed on his brother and Gabriel grinned sheepishly, getting up and handing him a key.
"Sorry, bro. Didn't know you were coming tonight. How'd you get here?" Gabriel asked.
"I took the bus," Castiel said.
"You know how to take the bus?"
"Alright. Come on, I'll drive you home. Catch the rest of you losers later!" Gabriel grinned. A bundle of shouts and protests came up after that. Gabriel led his brother out of the bar with a hand on his elbow. "Come on, let's get you home."
"What are you waiting for?" Sam demanded. "Stop staring like an idiot and get out there!" Dean was hauled from the seat he was in by Sam and practically shoved out.
"Dude-" Dean said.
"Dean, go!" Sam said. "Hey, Cas!" Castiel and Gabriel turned towards Sam and Sam pushed his brother towards them, ignoring Dean's threatening glare.
"Hey, uh, Cas…" Dean said, rubbing the back of his neck like he did when he was uncomfortable. "Gabe, can you give us a minute?" Although Gabriel and Castiel had a pain-in-my-ass sibling kind of relationship, both brothers were loyal to a fault, albeit a shifty kind of loyal at times. Gabriel glanced at Castiel and he nodded. Gabriel walked around the corner and slammed a car door but Dean didn't doubt he was listening in.
"Uh, hey, Cas," Dean cleared his throat.
"Hello, Dean," Castiel nodded.
"So, how're things?" Dean said.
"I just got back from war," Castiel deadpanned.
"Oh, yeah, right… honorably discharged, right? How'd that happen?" Dean asked.
"I'm almost deaf," Castiel said.
"What?" Dean startled.
"I'm almost deaf," Castiel repeated.
"How did that-"
"I do not wish to talk about it," Castiel said. Dean swallowed and looked away because there was a time that he and Castiel had shared everything. Looking at Castiel now, it was like Dean didn't know him. He stood stiffer. His eyes were cold and hard, and Dean now realized unfocused as he examined Castiel. There were new scars on him- probably from the war.
"Right, of course you don't. Why would you want to?" Dean muttered.
"My hearing may be damaged Dean, but I can read your lips just fine," Castiel said. "If you don't mind, I'm tired. I would like to go home now. So if you have nothing more to say…"
"Cas, wait! That woman- she and I aren't-"
"Goodnight, Dean," Castiel said firmly.
"Dean," Castiel snapped. "It was good… seeing you. Goodnight." Dean was left speechless as Castiel went around the corner. When he heard the engine of Gabriel's car start and then heard the sound of it pulling away, he punched the fence, cursing when he pulled back and found his hand bloody.
"Didn't go so well?" Sam asked.
"Shut it," Dean snapped.
"All I said was-" Sam said.
"And I said shut it," Dean snapped. "I'm going home."
"Your hand," Sam said.
"I'll take care of it when I get home," Dean said.
"You'll get blood on the Impala," Sam said and Dean stopped then because the Impala was his baby. He couldn't "douche her up" just because he wanted to get home. Blood stains did not come off easy.
"You coming home tonight?" Dean asked as Sam wrapped up his hand. Sam looked up at Dean with a raised eyebrow.
"Cas coming home get you feeling all lovey dovey, Dean?" Sam rolled his eyes. Dean glared at Sam and snatched his hand away, finishing the wrapping himself.
"Don't start, you two," Andy groaned. "This is supposed to be my bachelor party. We're supposed to be having fun. Or have you forgotten the meaning of the word?" Dean and Sam gave the soon to be groom equally annoyed looks before Dean stood up and stretched.
"Aw, what the hell?" Dean asked. "I sure as hell could use a drink."
Dean blinked tiredly as he came to. He sat up easily, rubbing at his head. He wasn't hung over- he didn't get hangovers very often anymore. He just had a small headache. A few bottles of beer weren't going to do him in. Instead, he looked around, trying to recognize where he was. Eventually, he realized he was still at the bar. An aspirin and a glass of water were placed in front of him.
"Not looking so hot, Dean,"
"Hey Jo," Dean groaned. "That for me?"
"Either you or Ash sleeping on the pool table. Got to make him get up, you know?" Jo smiled. The corner of Dean's mouth lifted up as he took the aspirin and the water.
"Thanks," he said, rubbing his head. "So did we do anything embarrassing?" Jo hesitated in answering, making Dean look up with a frown. "Crap. What'd the hell I say?" Jo looked away, flustered, fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist. "Jo."
"You started talking after you finished the third beer off," Jo said. "At first you were being all weird, like the drunk you are-"
"Jo, get to the point," Dean sighed.
"You started talking about Cas," Jo said.
"You should've seen by the look in my eyes, baby," Dean blinked as the song lyrics came into his head. Where did they come from?
"Cassie?" Dean asked, a hopeful note in his voice. Jo shook her head.
"Castiel," she corrected. Dean groaned and hung his head. She patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Ash!" Dean turned to watch the drunken genius jump awake on the pool table.
"There was something missing,"
"What? Is it closing time?" he asked groggily.
"Get to your room," Jo rolled her eyes.
"You got it," Ash said, stumbling off the pool table and to his room. Once Ash was out of the room, Dean turned to Jo with a sigh.
"What'd I say?" Dean asked.
"You should've known by the tone of my voice, maybe,"
"Sing," Jo said. Oh crap. The lyrics in his head were suddenly starting to make sense.
"Come again?" Dean asked.
"But you didn't listen. You played dead but you never bled,"
"Sing. What else did you sing," Jo corrected. Dean groaned and banged his head on his hands.
"Instead you lay still in the grass, all coiled up and hissing,"
"I told Ellen you didn't need to make a karaoke night! Fine. What the hell did I sing?" Dean asked. "Tell me I at least belted out ACDC."
"And though I know all about those men, still I don't remember, cause it was us baby, way before them,"
"You wish," Jo said. "You know, it wasn't that bad-"
"Metallica?" Dean asked.
"And we're still together and I meant, every word I said when I said that I love you, I meant that I love you forever,"
Jo gave him a sympathetic look. "You're a good singer, if it helps."
"What'd I sing?" Dean asked.
"And I'm gonna keep on loving you,"
"REO Speedwagon?" Dean demanded. "You let me sing REO Speedwagon? And not just REO- REO's Keep On Loving You?"
"Are you done with this?" Jo asked, plucking the glass of water away from Dean. "Hey, I liked it."
"Just tell me the guys-"
"Hey, Dean, keep on loving!" Andy shouted, apparently having just woken up and hearing the last part of the conversation. Dean groaned and Jo hid a giggle.
"Where are Sam and Chuck?" Dean asked.
"Chuck's passed out over there and Jake picked Sam up in the middle of your serenade," Jo said. "I got to kick you guys out now. I have somewhere to go and mom's not here." Dean sighed and nodded. He stretched after standing up and made his way over to Chuck. He threw the drunk over his shoulder, ignoring the slight "mmph" Chuck made.
"Come on, Andy. We're getting out of here," Dean said. Andy got up.
"Got an aspirin for me, sweetheart?" Andy asked. Jo raised an eyebrow but fished the bottle out of her pocket and gave Andy an aspirin and glass of water. After Andy took it, she walked them to the door. Dean paused at the door.
"See you later, Jo," he said, pressing a kiss to her temple.
"See you, Dean," Jo smiled, watching as he laid Chuck down in the backseat of the Impala, promising a painful death to both Andy and Chuck if they threw up in his baby. He gave her one last wave before he pulled out into the parking lot and drove out of the bar's parking lot.
"So…" Andy said.
"You're getting married tomorrow," Dean said. "Tied down- old ball and chain. You ready for that?"
"Kind of have to be. I love Tracey and we have a baby on the way you know?" Andy hesitated. "Dean… how'd you feel when you thought Ben was your kid?"
"Freaked out. I mean, for all I knew, there was some kid out there who was mine and I didn't even know it for his whole life," Dean said. "I felt like shit at first. Here was this great kid in Lisa's home and he could have possibly been mine."
"Yeah, Sam said you've always wanted a family," Andy mused. Dean didn't answer, making a turn and pulling in front of Chuck's house.
"Yeah, well…" Dean said. "Help me get his keys."
"I'm serious here, Dean. I… I think you should try again with Castiel," Andy said. Dean snorted as Andy fumbled around with the key and lock.
"I don't want him back and he doesn't want me back," Dean said.
"Drop it, Andy," Dean warned. "You're getting married tomorrow. Your bride doesn't want to wake up and think her husband-to-be has skipped town when he's actually dead." Andy pushed the door open and scrambled to get away from Dean.
"Hey, listen to me," Andy said. "I think it might help Sam if he knew you were happy." Dean threw Chuck on the couch.
"What would make me happy is if Sam got his foot back in his ass again and started acting like Sam. Now let's go and drop it. I don't want to hear another word about Cas," Dean snapped. "What?"
"You're still calling him Cas," Andy said.
"Get your ass in the car or I'm leaving your ass here," Dean snapped. Andy hastened to obey because Dean really would leave Andy stranded to walk home or take the bus.
Even if it seemed as though we had our Sam back, it was like we were losing Dean- again. The first time we had lost him hadn't been good. One could argue that Dean had never been himself where Castiel was concerned. Some could argue that that was a bad thing. Dean acted more macho. He showed off more. He was more aggressive. He argued more.
But others could argue it was a good thing.
Dean smiled more. He was happier. He joked more often. He was more affectionate. He tried his hardest at whatever the task at hand was instead of just saying, "Fuck it." He was a better man with Castiel and Castiel brought that out in him. The man was really named after an angel for a reason.
After dropping Andy back off at home, Dean headed home himself to take a shower. He saw the note on the counter from Sam- Dean, out with Jake, Sam- and crumpled it up and threw it in the trashcan. Man, he really hated that guy. Sighing, he pulled his shirt over his head and headed for the shower, stripping just before getting in.
Even after washing the conditioner out of his hair, Dean stayed in the shower, letting the hot water make a course down his naked body. He heard a knock on the door and didn't say anything. The knocking persisted and Dean got out of the shower with a groan, wrapping a towel around his waist. He made his way to the door and opened it, prepared to yell at whoever interrupted his shower.
"What?" Dean demanded. "Cas?"
"Hello, Dean," Castiel said, out of his army greens and in a white collared shirt and black slacks. Andy asked me to come and check on you…" Castiel said slowly, eyes wondering up and down Dean's body before he looked away with a blush marring his cheeks. "Now that I see you're alright… I will take my leave."
"Wait," Dean said, reaching out to grab Castiel's wrist. "Come in. I have something for you." Castiel looked confused but followed Dean inside.
"Uh…I'm going to go put some pants on," Dean said.
"There's no part of you I haven't seen before, Dean," Castiel said. Dean felt himself turning red so he turned away. Castiel was just stating a fact, Dean reminded himself. There was no sexual indication whatsoever.
"The army didn't help your boundaries of personal space," Dean said. "I'm putting on a pair of freaking pants." Castiel didn't comment this time as Dean went into his room, drying himself off once he got in there.
Right here would be the place where most writers would write about how Dean missed Castiel. The writer would talk about the memories they shared together and how Dean was so glad that Castiel was back. I don't claim to know what was going through Dean's head at that moment nor do I claim to be a Dean expert but I think I know Dean well enough to say that he was angry. All the emotions that Castiel had made when he had left for the military were bubbling up again. When Dean didn't like something, he ran. There was no way Dean was thinking about how Castiel stayed awake with him in the late hours to complete his G.E.D. or when he and Castiel worked on the Impala together, or how Castiel waited with Dean to pick Sam up from school or how they used to kiss- it just wasn't happening.
If anything, Dean was thinking about the fights they had gotten into about Castiel's decision to leave for the army. They had fought about every little thing when Castiel told Dean he was thinking about leaving. Every little thing from closing the Impala door to hard to going to the movies to their family- you name it, they fought about it… well, except for sexual related things. I don't think there was much they could disagree on for that topic.
Castiel looked at Dean curiously as Dean went into his room, opening his closet and pushing the clothes out of the way until he found what he was looking for. He practically hauled it out, stumbling backwards as he did so. Castiel looked at Dean with interest as he made his way back over to him.
"Dean, this is not mine," Castiel frowned, tilting his head.
"No, I know- it's your dad's. Was your dad's," Dean corrected himself. "It was willed to you and Gabriel couldn't look at it so… I offered to hold onto it until you got back." Castiel's eyes hardened and he looked away from Dean. Two years after he joined, they got the news that Castiel and Gabriel's father had died. Gabriel had been pretty bent up over the news and we could only have imagined how Castiel felt. Castiel practically believed his father could do no wrong. He was a loyal son. It was probably one of the reasons why he and Dean got along so well.
"Thank you," Castiel said, taking the trench coat from Dean.
Both men had very fond memories of that trench coat. Castiel had been wearing it the first time they had kissed. His father hadn't been very happy that his trench coat had ended up all muddy and dirty, but it was quickly forgotten when he saw Dean's jacket on his son's shoulders and both boys completely soaked to the bone.
Castiel had also been wearing it the first time they had taken a road trip together- a few weeks before the first kiss. They never really went into details about the road trip but both of them came back with smiles on their faces, well, when Castiel had woken up from his nap at least. They probably would have kissed if we hadn't all been walking to the front of Castiel's house, hanging out with Gabriel and Gabriel shouting, "You two going to kiss or what?" when Castiel was leaning and talking to Dean through the driver's window.
Dean and Castiel had fallen asleep once on top of the trench coat. Dean took Castiel out of the city borders when he was stressing about, well, everything. Dean went into the Novak's house and threw Castiel's clothes in a duffel bag and then threw Castiel over his shoulder- well, tried to throw, anyways. Instead, he settled for hauling Castiel's surprised self out of the house and into the Impala. He couldn't throw Castiel over his shoulder because Castiel wasn't as light or weak as he looked. He had woken Castiel up from a nap and Castiel had him pinned on the floor within a minute. Once he realized it was Dean, he let Dean haul him into the Impala. He grabbed the only coat he had time to grab- which just happened to be his father's trench coat. They used it as a blanket when Dean brought them to some valley on the outside of town and eventually fallen asleep.
They stared at each other and then Dean looked away when he heard a knock on the door.
"Dean?" Castiel questioned and then Dean remembered he probably didn't hear the knock.
"Someone's at the door," Dean said.
"You should probably get that," Castiel said. Dean withdrew from Castiel slowly.
"Yeah, right," Dean said, walking over to the door. "Andy?"
"Where's Sam?" Andy demanded, looking properly freaked out. "I can't get married! I can't have a baby! I'm not even- how old am I again?"
"Twenty-two," Dean sighed. "Andy, what happened?"
"Well I was with Tracey and she was talking about the wedding plans and- and- its getting so real!" Andy said. "I've never had anything real in my life! I've lived in foster care, I had a twin brother who loved the idea of me and tried to kill me, I've never kept a real, steady job and-"
"Sam, get out here!" Dean shouted. Sam came out of his room, looking surprised and then slightly awkward as Andy ran to him and hugged him.
"Cold feet?" Sam sighed.
"No!" Andy said the same time Dean said, "Yes."
"Alright, come on," Sam sighed. He glanced at Dean and Castiel, eyes lingering on the hickey on Castiel's neck and then he looked at Dean pointedly. Dean mouthed, "shut it," as Sam led Andy into his room. Castiel looked down at his feet and then at Dean.
"I should go," Castiel said.
"Yeah, right…" Dean said, not looking at Castiel. Castiel frowned and took a step closer to Dean, looking in his eyes. Dean took a surprised step back. "Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space."
"My apologies. I couldn't hear what you were saying and I couldn't read your lips," Castiel said.
"And through all the blood and the pain, I never got one letter back from you!"
"I'll take you home," Dean offered.
"That won't be necessary," Castiel declined. "But thank you. I will see you at the wedding tomorrow."
"If Andy doesn't get cold feet," Dean said.
"He won't," Castiel said confidently. Dean looked at Castiel with a raised eyebrow and then Dean remembered something.
They stared at each other before Castiel excused himself, saying that he'd see Dean at the wedding. Dean sighed and then rolled his eyes as Sam led Andy out, rubbing his back and looking sympathetic as Sam could. Andy looked over his shoulder and sent Dean a grin along with a thumbs up and then regained his slightly freaked out I'm-about-to-get-married-and-have-a-kid look when Sam looked at him. The corner of Dean's mouth lifted up into a smile.
"So is the wedding still on?" Dean asked.
"Yep," Sam said.
Surprisingly, the wedding went on without a hitch. You'd think it end like one of the Gilmore Girl's weddings because Sam looks a lot like that Jared Padalecki dude who played Dean. You know the wedding scenes where someone tried to get someone with a different person than the one they were with or an old flame showed up… Thankfully nothing went wrong- Sam, the best man, didn't even loose the ring. It was a small wedding since it was planned at the last minute- not that Tracey or Andy really had a big family to invite. Dean showed up complaining about his suit until Castiel showed up in his suit with his loosened tie. After seeing Castiel and seeing him smile (one that was suspiciously similar to the sly one Castiel used to give Dean before their tongues were stuffed down each other's throats but thankfully somehow different), Dean suddenly couldn't complain anymore.
"Cigarette?" Castiel asked, offering Dean one from a pack. One was already lit in his mouth as they watched the bride and groom dance.
"You smoke?" Dean asked in disbelief. "You?" Castiel shrugged. "And you shrug now? Didn't you give me a lecture on excessive drinking once?" Castiel gave him an annoyed look.
"You were finishing off a six pack in two days when you moved into the city. Your liver should thank me," Castiel huffed. "And it's not like I smoke two packs a day." Dean stood up and took the cigarette from Castiel's mouth, throwing it to the ground and stepping on it.
"And your lungs will thank me," Dean said. "Since when do you smoke?"
"A lot of people smoke once they join the army. I figured that if I was bound to get second hand cancer, I may as well commit the crime myself," Castiel said.
"I'm telling Gabriel and he's putting a stop to this," Dean warned.
"Thank you for your concern. But I rarely smoke," Castiel said.
"I've had that pack for eight months," Castiel nodded towards the pack Dean had stolen from him. Dean flipped it open, noting that only three were missing and one was currently under Dean's foot. Dean pocketed the cigarettes anyways, despite the roll of Castiel's eyes.
"So what'd you think of the vows?" Dean asked.
"I couldn't hear them," Castiel said, sounding slightly annoyed.
"Oh, man, I forgot-"
"Gabriel wouldn't stop talking," Castiel said. "He took advantage of my… condition and made his own version- quite like the one he and Sam made for you and me… although I believe Sam made his own separately."
Sam, the sweet, little boy he had once been, had heard that his mother and father had exchanged their own vows when they had gotten married. He had asked Castiel and Dean if they were going to write their own vows while they were watching television. Thinking Sam was joking, Dean, of course, made his own joke.
"I'll say thanks for always knowing where the remote is," Dean smirked. "And being a damned good kisser."
"Because that's the only reason you love me," Castiel rolled his eyes, making Dean turn red. "And I'll say that I-"
"It's the perky nipples isn't it?" Dean smirked.
"I believe it was the leather jacket that did it for me. Because, you know, all guys in a leather jacket turn me on," it was Castiel's turn to smirk now.
"Shut up," Dean growled but he kissed the top of Castiel's head when he thought Sam wasn't looking. Sam, being Sam, didn't like that answer. He went to Gabriel for help. Gabriel had laughed at first, but when he saw Sam was serious (and no one could resist Sam's puppy dog eyes) he agreed to help Sam out writing vows for Castiel and Dean.
They actually hadn't turned out that bad. They would have been better except, that, well, Gabriel had helped. Sam had thrown that version away and rewrote it, thankfully.
"Here!" Sam said, throwing the written vows on Dean and Castiel's laps when they were watching the television again.
"What the hell is this?" Dean demanded as Sam went outside to go get ice cream with Andy, me, and Gabriel. Gabriel smirked and gave them a wave. We didn't really know what they were until Sam told us. We ragged on him, because again, that's what friends do. But really, we didn't understand the significance of it until Dean threw them out when Castiel left. I found them crumpled up on the Dean's bed when I was looking for one of his tapes. I pocketed them and showed Sam. Sam asked me to hang onto them because it was obvious Dean was getting ready to throw them away.
I was lost until I meant you.
I was alive but I never really lived until I met you.
I didn't really know where I was headed, you know?
I began thinking for myself when I met you.
You saved me from a dangerous path. You pulled me out of something really bad.
You showed me that life wasn't to be taken too seriously. You showed me fun.
There were some times that I couldn't have made out of without you.
You have always been there for me in your own way.
Remember when you helped me get my G.E.D.?
Like the time you took me on the road trip, just the two of us-
The time when you threatened to castrate me with a broken beer bottle if I didn't stop drinking-
Or the time you "kidnapped" me and took me to the valley-
And when you wrestled with me because the other guys weren't strong enough and I was angry-
The time you pushed Gabriel into the lake when he was being unusually crueler than he normally was-
The time Sammy ran away and you didn't leave my side until we found him-
The time you comforted me about my father being in the military-
How you put up with my bull shit-
How you put up with my social awkwardness-
Like when I took off on road trips without telling anyone-
And accepted me anyways-
And put me in my place when I needed it-
You never let me not let me be included.
I haven't had a lot of friends but you're the best- well, that's not completely true-
I've never had a friend like you-
You're more than my best friend.
But you're more than my best friend.
I love you.
I love you.
I'll love you forever.
I'll love you forever.
Through thick and through thin.
Through thick and through thin.
No matter what.
No matter what.
"Are you planning anything for the weekend?" Castiel asked.
"To kick Sam's ass all the way to Bobby's place, unless you got something better," Dean shrugged. Castiel allowed himself to smile as he took the seat next to Dean.
"I was thinking you two should take a road trip," Castiel said.
"A road trip?" Dean scoffed. "I can't even be in the same room as him and you want me to go in a car with him?"
"You and Sam always used to take road trips before I left," Castiel reminded Dean.
"That was when we weren't fighting every two minutes," Dean said.
"Didn't you once pull him out of school and take him on a road trip because you needed to get out of town? You told me he was mad at you for over half the car ride because he missed a week and a half of school," Castiel said. "You were in the car with him then. You and Sam couldn't have been on good terms all the time when you were in the car-"
"Okay, I get it. I'll think about it, alright?" Dean said. Castiel nodded in content as his attention turned to the dance floor, where the bride and groom were dancing, nothing fancy but nice all the same. Sam looked ill as he danced with Becky. Becky was actually a very big fan of my books- probably my number one fan. Too bad she didn't know that I'm Carver Edlund… Damn Sam and his puppy dog eyes. I'd love to dance with- oh wait, off topic again. Chuck was nursing a beer. Gabriel was flirting with some chick named Kali he'd been after for awhile.
"Oh, look, there's Chuck!" Sam said, leading Becky over to him. "Becky, Chuck's a huge Supernatural fan. You two should talk." Becky looked at Chuck with wide eyes, suddenly launching into a brigade of Wincest (well since you don't know my Supernatural series, Dean and Sam are the main characters and they're brothers… a relationship between them is called "Wincest." Really, it's just disturbing. Have you been paying attention to the real Sam and Dean?)
"I mean, I thought Wincest was all the rage and then the author changed it, which was great because it was starting to get old with the demons, and then he introduced angels- you are up to the angels, right?" Becky demanded.
"Of course," Chuck said nervously. Becky… Becky could be slightly intimidating.
"Well and then Castiel comes in and boom! Suddenly Wincest is totally pushed out of the picture and it's all about Destiel! What do you think? Do you think so too?" Becky asked. Chuck sneaked a glance at Castiel and Dean, watching as Dean chuckled softly at something Castiel said. Sam joined them, gesturing towards the dance floor. Dean looked reluctant and Castiel looked like a deer in the headlights. After some more words from Sam, Dean sighed and patted Castiel on the shoulder, guiding Castiel by putting his hand on his back to the dance floor.
"Yeah, it's all about Dean and Castiel…" Chuck said absentmindedly.
"Oh my god! Brain gush! Maybe they could have a threesome!" Becky gushed.
"What?" Chuck asked, looking pale.
"I'm not the girl in this dance," Dean glared at Castiel when he tried to lead.
"But Dean, you can't lead," Castiel blinked.
"You can't dance!" Dean protested. "You're stiff!" Castiel frowned but acquiesced to Dean, letting him lead even though he didn't know how. Castiel sighed and even from the girl's position, began leading Dean. Dean stumbled for a few steps before he fell into a comfortable waltz with Castiel.
"There's no music," Dean frowned when he realized that the music had stopped.
"We need it?" Castiel hummed.
"Guess not," Dean said but another song began playing. "REO again, seriously?"
"This is the first time REO Speedwagon had played," Castiel said.
"Never mind Cas," Dean said. "Why can't they play ACDC or hell, even Blue Oyster Cult?"
"Because Love at First Feel and Fire of Unknown Origin would not have gone over well at a wedding, Dean," Castiel chastised. Dean snorted.
"Shoot, I'd play it at my wedding," Dean said. Castiel stopped suddenly and Dean stumbled into him. "Cas?" Castiel frowned, staring at Dean's lips in deep concentration as if they held the secret to the universe. Dean swallowed, watching Castiel stare at him so intently. Almost four years later and it was like Castiel had never left.
"I… believe I read your lips wrong," Castiel frowned. "I thought you said your wedding." Dean swallowed again, trying to regain function of his body.
"Yeah, I did. I was kidding, Cas. Seriously, who am I going to get married to?" Dean asked, trying to joke about it but Castiel released his hands and parted himself from Dean on the dance floor.
"I am thirsty," Castiel announced, leaving Dean to get water. Dean stood, dumbfounded for a minute before Sam ushered him over to take pictures. So really, the wedding went on without a hitch and thank God. I don't know how any of us could have survived Tracey's pregnancy hormones if she started crying. I'm not even sure if Andy was ready for that…
See, I could go over the next few months with you and tell you about the cute moments- well, to you, they'd be cute. To the rest of us who have known them for years, it was taking forever. Really, it was starting to get on our nerves. Remember that time period where Dean and Castiel were too busy blushing to talk after that first kiss? Well, this period kicked that period's ass and threw it in the gutter.
They weren't blushing and not looking at each other. They were acting like they had before the kiss, like very comfortable friends. The only problem with that was that they weren't "just friends" and we all knew it. No one said anything because really, what guy talked about his feelings? And if you know a guy who does, have you been actually reading about Dean and Castiel? Dean hates "chick flick moments" with a vengeance and Castiel just got back from war. They weren't talking about anything.
So I'm going to show you how fed up we were beginning to get.
"Hey, Cas, over here," Dean waved at the man. "Cas!" After a little bit of looking around because he couldn't hear his name being called, Castiel made his way over to the table, wearing his father's trench coat over a suit. "Dude, do you know the meaning of casual anymore?"
"This is the only thing I could find that fit me," Castiel frowned at Dean, sitting down.
"I think you hurt his feelings," Sam whispered. Dean rolled his eyes and probably without knowing he did so, he threw an arm over Castiel's chair. Castiel didn't make any indication that he noticed. He just studied the menu.
"Cas, it's not the bible," Andy said, pushing down on the top of the menu to stop Castiel from concentrating so hard.
"What?" Castiel blinked, turning to Dean out of nervousness.
"He said it's not the bible," Dean repeated for him, grabbing the menu from Andy and giving it back to Castiel. Castiel seemed to relax. "See anything you like?" Castiel's eyes turned towards Dean and they stared at each other for a moment before Dean cleared his throat and looked away.
"I can't find a cheeseburger," Castiel said. Dean laughed and took the menu back from Castiel, shouting towards Pamela.
"Hey, Pamela, can we get a cheeseburger for Cas?" Dean shouted.
"Sure thing, sweetheart," Pamela said, not sounding too enthusiastic. In fact, her voice was flat. Castiel didn't hear her answer but he tensed up anyways. Dean put a hand on the back of Castiel's neck and rubbed it reassuringly. Castiel relaxed again. Castiel and Pamela had never been on the best of terms. Pamela had been Castiel's cousin Anna's best friend. If you don't remember, Anna had had a crush on Dean. Major crush, really but of course, Castiel "stole" him from her. Castiel and Anna had fought about that. You'd think family wouldn't fight over something as stupid as boys and have a serious fight over it. Well, the Novaks were never really a close family.
That fight was one I actually got involved in. I was supposed to be the one to pick Castiel up and walk him to the movies. Dean was picking Sam up from some late school project and Andy was picking up Tracey. Gabriel was out of town that day, which was probably why Anna had chosen that day to pick a fight. Gabriel didn't really get involved in his family's fights but he had not problem telling them it was over without picking a side.
"Anna, I'm sorry!" Castiel said.
"No, you're not! If you were sorry, you wouldn't be dating him!" Anna snapped.
"I can't break up with him!" Castiel protested.
"Sure you can!" Anna said. "I liked him first!"
"I became his friend first!" Castiel said.
"You stole him from me!" Anna screamed.
"No, he didn't," Chuck said. Anna and Castiel looked surprised, obviously having been not aware of Chuck's presence. Chuck was a little surprised with the certainty that he said things but he continued on talking.
"He didn't steal Dean from you. If you had been going out with Dean, you would have stolen Dean from Cas. Haven't you seen them with each other? They're two parts of a whole. Haven't you ever seen them without each other? They drive everyone insane when they're not together- even when they're not a couple! No offense, Cas," Chuck added hastily.
"None… taken," Castiel said, still seeming surprised. He was wearing the deer in the headlights look that usually only Dean could put on Castiel's face. Chuck felt a flare of pride surge through him. Then he remembered he was in an argument.
"You can't say that Cas stole Dean from you when Dean was never yours. You can't steal something that was never yours in the first place," Castiel said. Anna looked torn and with a sob, she ran out of the house. Castiel stared after his cousin. Chuck waited until he heard her car start and she drove off before he laid a hand on Castiel's shoulder.
"You okay?" Chuck asked. Castiel just looked at Chuck blankly and after an awkward few seconds, Chuck removed his hand. When he thought Castiel wasn't going to respond, the taller teenager gave him a hug.
"Thank you," Castiel said quietly, releasing Chuck. "You have a way with words… you'll be a great writer." I took my writing a lot more serious after that day. Before, writing was just a past time. After that day, I actually began working on Supernatural again. I had had a writer's block after season three. One of the scenes was actually inspired- oh wait, you don't read Supernatural…
Anyways, since there was bad blood between Anna and Castiel, there was bad blood between Pamela and Castiel. They weren't going to have a screaming match any time soon but they also weren't going to sit next to each other willingly at the movies if there was a third person.
After Pamela gave Castiel his cheeseburger, it was couple city except not, for Dean and Castiel. It was all stealing French fries, stealing bites of each other's foods, feeding each other food (well actually, it was more like Dean shoving food into each other's mouth), gentle brushes of the hands, and goddamn it, it was annoying.
"So, you coming to see the movie tonight with us?" Dean asked casually.
"I don't think so…" Castiel hesitated.
"Come on, Cas. Don't be a wet blanket," Dean said.
"I am not-" Castiel began, not understanding the joke.
"Just come to the movies with us," Dean said. Castiel and Dean stared at each other, neither seemingly giving in. We had really forgotten about the "eye sex." "If looks could kill" had no meaning here. It was all about "If eyes could have sex." One time, for Gabriel's birthday, he got them a motel, given in the form of the card key and an eye keychain.
"Alright," Castiel agreed finally. Dean sat back and grinned in victory, his arm resting over Castiel's shoulders again.
"Cas here?" Gabriel asked, not bothering to knock before he sauntered through the door.
"Yeah, kitchen," Dean said, not looking up from his car magazine. Gabriel frowned.
"He wanted to try and cook," Dean said.
"Cas can't cook. You know that. I know that," Gabriel said slowly.
"Uh huh," Dean nodded.
"So then why are you letting him anywhere near your kitchen?" Gabriel demanded.
"Relax. We have it under control," Dean said.
"Under control? Things are never under control when Cas is in the kitchen!" Gabriel huffed.
"Sam!" Dean shouted. "Where's Cas?"
"Cutting vegetables!" Sam shouted back.
"Anywhere near the stove?" Dean called back.
"Nope!" Sam said.
"See? Under control," Dean said calmly.
"Ow!" Castiel yelped.
"Shit!" Sam shouted.
"Spoke too soon," Dean said, getting up to race into the kitchen with Gabriel. Castiel was nursing his hand under the water, through Sam's guidance.
"Its fine, Sam," Castiel was saying.
"Fine? That is not fine, Cas. You're going to need stitches," Sam said.
"I'm not going to a hospital," Castiel protested.
"Cas-" Gabriel protested.
"We'll stitch him up here then," Dean said, remembering Castiel's hatred of hospitals. "Sam, get the first aid kit." Sam hastened to obey and Gabriel looked at Dean doubtfully.
"Sure you know what you're doing, Winchester?" Gabriel asked.
"Yeah, my dad taught me," Dean muttered. "Come on, Cas, bathroom. Gabe, hand me that towel so I can wrap his hand. Great, thanks. Grab some kind of alcohol." See, no one but Gabriel really knew about Castiel's reasons for his dislike of hospitals. All we knew was that Castiel really did not like them. He had waited outside when Andy broke his leg after his crazy twin came and he was finally discharged from the hospital. He waited outside while I was interning there for awhile (due to my parent's insistence) whenever the guys would pick me up from my internship. He even waited outside while Gabriel got his appendix removed.
But the point was Castiel did not like hospitals.
"You alright over there?" Dean asked Castiel who was nursing a bottle of beer as Dean finished up the last of the stitches.
"Yes. Thank you, Dean," Castiel said.
"Yeah, no problem, man," Dean said.
"Not just for the stitches," Castiel said. "For not making me go to the hospital."
"Yeah, sure thing. Wait, you barely drank anything," Dean frowned. "Crap, Cas, why didn't you fucking say anything?"
"I am fine, Dean," Castiel said.
"Cas," Dean growled. "I've had stitches before without something to numb it. It's not exactly pleasant. The fuck is wrong with you? When we were on that camping trip you drank three bottles while you were getting stitched up." Castiel gave him an annoyed look.
"I said I'm fine, Dean," Castiel said. "It's nothing I haven't gone through before." Dean's hands tightened around Castiel's injured hand. Dean raised Castiel's hand to check the stitches and once he was satisfied, his eyes rose to meet with Castiel's. They didn't realize how close Castiel's hand was getting to Dean's mouth until Dean's lips barely brushed Castiel's fingers. Castiel withdrew his hand abruptly and stood up.
Gabriel and Sam didn't know what happened in the bathroom. Dean sat there until Sam came in and Dean used the excuse he was still cleaning up. But really, Dean was wondering one thing- what had Castiel gone through during his time in the war?
Well, that, and the guy was a prude.
"Come on, you haven't even gotten to second?" Dean demanded of Chuck. Chuck blushed and looked away.
"Well I'm sorry I'm not all macho man like you and can get any girl in the sack," Chuck grumbled. "Plus, I respect Becky and-"
"When did you even ask her out?" Andy asked.
"After the wedding…" Chuck said. Dean whistled.
"Didn't know you had it in you. Good luck though, that one's going to be a handful," Dean snickered and then turned his attention towards Castiel when Tracey let him and Gabriel through the door. "Hey, Cas, Chuck's not even on second." Castiel tilted his head with a frown.
"We're not playing baseball, Dean," Castiel said, looking at the blank television screen.
"I know that, Cas. Come on, you know what we're talking about," Dean grinned obscenely.
"Stop trying to taint his mind," Tracey protested half heartedly. Dean just gave her a cheeky grin and a kiss on the cheek when she put a plate of brownies in front of the men. Andy glared at Dean jokingly and gave his wife and soon-to-be-mother-of-his-child a quick kiss on the lips and a, "thanks, Trace."
"You're a goddess, woman!" Dean said.
"You think any woman who can cook is a goddess," Chuck pointed out.
"That's because it's true," Dean said. "Come on, Cas. Second?"
"Second what?" Castiel asked.
"Second base," Dean frowned.
"We are not playing baseball, Dean,"
"Not that second, Cas. Come on, they know what I'm talking about," Dean indicated the other three men and the table.
"Well we know who's not on second," Gabriel grinned, waggling his eyebrows at Chuck obscenely. "Did you even make it past first?"
"What is second?" Castiel huffed. The other men looked at each other and finally, Dean sighed.
"In the back of the Impala, listening to Blue Oyster Cult," Dean said pointedly.
"What- oh. Oh," Castiel said, clueing in, cheeks turning slightly red. Gabriel looked torn between looking proud and killing Dean. Andy and Chuck looked like they were torn between laughing and being embarrassed (because again, guys didn't talk about gay sex with guys who weren't having gay sex unless they wanted to gross them out). Dean was staring fixedly at his brownie, avoiding everyone's gazes. Castiel took the seat next to Dean, taking a brownie in silence.
"So… how's being a married man?" Chuck asked, trying to get rid of the awkwardness.
"She get you to do the laundry yet?" Gabriel asked and then he turned his attention towards Dean and Castiel, who were avoiding looking at each other like the other was the plague. "Oh, dear God. Would you two just kiss and make up already?"
Of course, with Dean being a Winchester and Castiel being socially awkward, they went nowhere near first base. And Dean criticized my not getting to second base! I respect Becky and I admire her for…oh, who am I kidding? I hadn't gotten to second base yet…
"Where are you going?" Sam asked.
"Grabbing a beer with Cas," Dean said, shrugging on his jacket. "Don't wait up."
Now keep in mind, things between Sam and Dean weren't going that good. After the wedding, Sam began slipping off the edge again. While Dean was doing things like "grabbing a beer with Cas" or "hanging out with Cas," Sam was doing his own things, things Dean didn't approve of. Sam could usually be found with Jake, doing something detrimental to his body, fighting someone, gambling… Dean knew what was going on with his brother but he tried to ignore it, to pretend that Sam wasn't getting into trouble.
Actually, I think we all did.
If you hadn't noticed yet, Dean and Castiel began acting like they had never been apart. They also began acting like they had never been together. Dean flirted with excessive women, anything from a bar slut to a librarian- anything hot on two legs with a rack, really. Castiel seemed more withdrawn then ever during those moments. He never got the chance to flirt himself, not very often. Being almost deaf, he stared at the person he was talking to so he could read their lips. It freaked some people out. Castiel had always had an intense gaze but concentrating made it even more intense. When someone found out they liked that, Dean came and chased them away.
Not that Dean would admit to that.
"Dean, this has got to stop," Sam said.
"What?" Dean asked, looking up from the television.
"What you're doing with Castiel- it needs to stop," Sam said.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Dean said, looking back towards the television but Sam grabbed the remote and turned off the television. "Hey! Dr. Sexy MD is on!"
"Dean," Sam said.
"Sam," Dean taunted.
"If you're not going out with him, you can't stop him from going out with other people," Sam said.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Dean said.
"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you, Dean. I know you were looking for Castiel in everyone you've ever looked at or slept with. I know that you're still not-"
"Sam, drop it," Dean warned.
"No, I won't drop it!" Sam snapped.
"You don't know what you're talking about," Dean said, getting up to grab his jacket. Sam moved to stop his brother from leaving, slamming the door shut just as Dean tried to get it open.
"Dean. You need to make up your mind about Cas! Cas isn't some bartender's daughter or random hookup from years ago-"
"Watch your mouth!" Dean growled.
"Just stop getting in between him and everyone who wants him!" Sam shouted.
"Why? You want him? Well, fine, go ahead!" Dean snapped, pushing past Sam.
"Fine, I will!" Sam shouted. Dean froze under the threshold. Sam held his breath for a moment and then Dean stormed out, slamming the door shut behind himself. That same night, Dean took a road trip, meeting Castiel at the park before he left.
"What're you doing out?" Dean asked. When Castiel didn't show any signs of having heard him, Dean laid his hand on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel whipped around, grabbing Dean's arm, a hard look in his eyes. He bent Dean's arm and twisted the older Winchester into a lock.
"Cas! Cas, it's Dean!" Dean said. "Cas!" Castiel paused when he saw who it was and he released Dean, helping him stand straight up. "Hey, there soldier."
"My apologies. You startled me," Castiel said.
"Cas, when someone startles you, you jump. You don't twist them into a friggin' arm lock," Dean said.
"You do when you're at war," Castiel stated. Dean didn't answer that because he didn't know how.
"What're you doing out?" Dean repeated his earlier question. "Gabriel forget to pick you up?"
"No," Castiel said, looking back at the stars. "I came for the stars." Dean's eyebrows lifted but he didn't comment. He just sat down next to Castiel. The man named after the angel glanced back at Dean every few moments to see if he was saying anything.
"My mom said my dad used to do that a lot," Dean revealed, "when he got back from the war." Castiel nodded, folding his hands nervously.
"What are you doing out still?" Castiel asked.
"Taking a road trip," Dean shrugged. Castiel frowned.
"Repeat that," he ordered.
"I'm taking a road trip," Dean said.
"That's what I thought you said. You had a fight with Sam, didn't you?" Castiel asked.
"What? No," Dean said. Castiel gave him a look that said he obviously didn't believe him.
"Dean," Castiel said.
"What if I did?" Dean asked. "What's it matter?"
"You're brothers," Castiel said.
"Yeah, thanks for the biology lesson, Cas," Dean snorted. Castiel shook his head, standing up.
"You shouldn't fight over trivial things," Castiel chastised, eyes hardening as he looked at the ground and then up at the stars. Dean looked at Castiel's back and then up to where Castiel was looking at the stars.
"I don't think 'trivial' is the right word here," Dean said, staring at Castiel's back. Castiel turned around, brow furrowed in confusion.
"What did you say?" he asked, not having heard.
"I… never mind," Dean sighed.
"Dean," Castiel said.
"Don't worry your pretty little head, Cas," Dean chuckled when he saw the confused look on Castiel's face. Castiel sighed and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean looked up at Castiel, staring into the blue eyes that never failed to entrance him.
"Don't stay away too long," Castiel said. "I… I need you here, Dean." Dean swallowed, looking down.
"As a friend?" Dean asked.
"As yourself," Castiel said. Dean looked up again. Castiel's eyes were warm and yet searching, waiting for an answer.
"I'll be back," Dean said.
"When?" Castiel asked.
"I…" Dean didn't know what to say.
"Two weeks," Castiel said firmly. "Tell me you'll be back in two weeks."
"I'm not seventeen, Cas," Dean said. "Okay, okay, three weeks."
"I said two," Castiel frowned.
"That's what I said," Dean said.
"No, you said three," Castiel said. "I said two. I may be deaf but I can still read your lips."
"Two and a half," Dean bargained.
"Two weeks," Castiel said.
"Fine," Dean grumbled. "I'll see you in two weeks."
Castiel walked him to his car. Dean hesitated as he got into the Impala. Castiel stood on the sidewalk, head tilted patiently as he waited for Dean to get in. Dean gave him a cheeky smirk and then got in the car, promising he'd be back in two weeks.
He was back in five days.
He came back in five days because of a full inbox of frantic voice messages. It had taken him three days to check his phone because it had died and he had forgotten his charger. He eventually bought a new one. It had taken him two days to speed back into town.
"Dean, its Castiel. Sam's in the hospital, in intensive care. Call me when you get this,"
"Dean, it's me…Cas… again. Call me. Sam's still in intensive care,"
"Dean… am I using the cell phone right? Sam's chances are looking better. Call me,"
"Dean, its Gabriel. Cas isn't sure if he's using the cell phone right. I don't know if Cas filled you in. Sam has alcohol poisoning, a seizure, a concussion, and a stab wound in the kidney… The doctors are doing what they can. Call already,"
"Dean's, its Chuck. Sam's stomach has been pumped. Now he just needs to survive the kidney and the concussion… I think he really needs you here, Dean,"
"Dean, its Andy. The night is going to be important for Sam. If he pulls through the night, his chances are going to look good. C'mon, dude, check your phone… we need you here,"
"Dean, Andy again. Sam pulled through the night,"
"Dean…its Castiel. Where are you?"
"Dean, its Tracey… we really need you. Sam needs you. Please come home soon,"
"Dean, its Castiel. Sam's stable but he's in a medically induced coma. Please check your messages,"
"Hey, its Dean. I'm coming home," Dean swallowed.
Two days after countless hours of worrying and Dean's returned. Sam woke up the day after Dean came back and the day after that, Sam was discharged from the hospital. It was then we found out Castiel had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Sam and Dean hadn't said a word to each other since their hug when Sam had woken up. It was unnerving to the others, but also understandable. Their friends had decided to wait at the Winchester's house instead of going to the hospital. We thought that Dean and Sam would duke it out on the way home and then have to break it up when they saw us at the house. That wasn't the case.
Dean and Sam didn't say a word to each other on the way home. Sam tried but Dean just shook his head or didn't answer, obviously not in the mood.
Dean ignoring Sam made the younger Winchester spiral even further downwards.
"Hello, Dean," Castiel said, "I believe this is yours."
"Sam?" Dean asked. Sam looked frustrated as he tried to escape Castiel's hold on the point just before his elbow.
"May I come in?" Dean moved aside, mostly out of shock as Castiel jerked his brother into the house. Castiel had never been weak, despite his scrawny appearance. Although Sam was bigger and taller, Castiel seemed to have the upper hand. He must have learned something from the war. "Sam, will you give your brother and me a moment to talk?" Sam looked like he was sulking as he glared at Castiel and went into his room.
"So what're you doing here, Cas?" Dean asked. "Did Sam decide to run away like that time he got into a fight with Dad?" He smirked but it wavered when Castiel fixed him with a glare.
"This is not a laughing matter, Dean," Castiel said. Dean sighed.
"What'd he do? Come on, Cas, he's not seventeen anymore. You can't just drag his ass home because-"
"He was about to rob a liquor store with Jake Talley," Castiel said flatly.
"Oh, you have got to be shitting me- Sam!" Dean shouted. "Get your ass out here!" Sam walked out. It was a very weird scene. Dean was twenty-six and yelling at his twenty-two year old Stanford drop out brother who looked very much like a defiant teenager. Castiel was twenty-four and looked like a police officer who had brought a naughty twelve foot tall teenager home to be punished…well, that part wasn't so weird. He was a soldier, after all.
"Is what Cas said true?" Dean demanded. "Did you fucking try to rob a liquor store?" Sam shifted uncomfortably. See, even though Dean and Castiel had been apart for almost four years, apparently one thing hadn't changed between them. Dean always took Castiel at his word… then again, we all did. There was no reason for Castiel to lie and he never did anyways. When he did, he couldn't life for crap- well, the Castiel we had known before had gone to the military, anyways.
"Goddamn it, Sam!" Dean shouted. "You realize you just got out of the hospital for alcohol poisoning and now you're going back for more? I am trying to keep your ass afloat! Robbing a store goes on your fucking record! You're just lucky it was Cas who caught you and not a fucking police officer!"
"Dean, I'm sorry!" Sam said.
"Yeah, I've heard it all before, Sam!" Dean snapped.
"I should go…" Castiel said.
"No, Cas, you should stay," Dean said. "Sam, I'm sending you to Bobby's."
"What? No, Dean, I can change! Don't send me away!" Sam said, looking panicked. Castiel seemed to hesitate on the subject as well.
"Dean, I don't think you should make this decision while you're angry," Castiel said quietly, laying a hand on Dean's arm.
"Dean," Castiel said firmly. Dean and Castiel stared at each other, communicating through silent, angry glares. Unable to stare as long as Castiel, Dean blinked and looked away.
"Sam, get in your room," Dean ordered.
"Sam, get your ass in that room and do not come out if it. I don't know what I'll do if I see you," Dean said. Castiel exchanged a look with Sam and Sam huffed, slamming the door to his room. Dean ran his hands through his short hair and sat on the couch, staring at the floor, burying his face in his hands. Castiel hesitated before awkwardly patting Dean's shoulder.
"There… there," Castiel said. Dean looked up and Castiel withdrew his hand.
"Thanks, for bringing him home," Dean said. "You wanna sit?" Castiel hesitated again so Dean made room on the couch for him, patting the spot by his side. Castiel sat down, folding his hands together and looking straight ahead.
"I do not remember Sam… being this way," Castiel said, choosing his words carefully. Dean snorted.
"He wasn't. Girlfriend died a few months ago. Poor kid's been going off the rails," Dean said. Castiel nodded.
"And you?" Castiel asked.
"What?" Dean asked, startled.
"How have you been?" Castiel asked. "You… never wrote me letters."
"Yeah, well you know me, not the letter writing type," Dean said, trying to smile but it faded when Castiel didn't return it. Dean released a slow breath. "I wanted to write. Never knew what to say." Castiel's hands tightened into fists.
"You didn't know what to say?" Castiel repeated slowly.
"Well, yeah. I mean, I almost had you write one of my freaking G.E.D. papers-"
"You didn't know what to say while I was at war?" Castiel demanded, standing up suddenly. Dean, surprised at Castiel's abruptness, fell backwards on the couch slightly. He stood up at Castiel with wide eyes, lips parted slightly upon seeing Castiel angry.
"I was at war, Dean! I have killed men, been in situations a man should never be in, watched as my brothers in arms were killed around me! All I had to look forward to was the letters I received- from Gabriel, from Sam, from Chuck, from Andy- from everyone but you! Every day, I would wait for your letter- wait for you to tell me something. And through all the blood and the pain, I never got one letter back from you!" Castiel snapped.
"Cas, I didn't know-"
"Didn't know, didn't know! Right, because I'm sure Gabriel never asked you to write to me after I asked! I'm sure Sam, Chuck, and Andy never mentioned me again! I'm sure-"
"I took off, okay?" Dean demanded, standing up and pushing Castiel backwards. "I couldn't stay here and so I took off! I never answered a goddamned letter from you because I fucking couldn't!" Castiel stared at Dean, the anger leaving his features. Dean reached forward and grabbed the back of Castiel's neck, kissing him harshly. Castiel gasped and Dean slid his tongue inside Castiel's mouth. Dean shoved Castiel into the corner of the couch, pushing his knee in between Castiel's legs. He attacked Castiel's mouth with his own. He grabbed Castiel's hair and pulled upwards, making Castiel head come up. The man named after the angel moaned in a mix of plain and pleasure as Dean's lips moved onto Castiel's throat.
"Wanted you so goddamned bad and you weren't there," Dean hissed. "Left me alone and you wanted me to write-" Castiel began shaking and Dean froze. "Cas? Cas, what's wrong? Shit, I'm sorry, I-" Dean was expecting a lot of things, like getting pushed off, or Castiel backing up- but he did not expect to get kicked in the stomach and then again in the chest, the second kick sending him flying off the couch.
"Ow! Cas! What the hell?" Dean demanded and then he saw the wild look in Castiel's eyes. Sam cracked the door open and his eyes widened when he saw Dean scrambling to get up as Castiel backed up warily.
"I'm an American soldier. Reinforcements will be arriving. My squadron knows where I am," Castiel warned.
"Cas, what are you talking about? It's me, Dean," Dean said.
"How do you know my name? Just let me go and you can live!" Castiel said. Dean took a step back and then Castiel lunged for him. Sam didn't wait in his room any longer. He grabbed the lamp off of the dresser and yanked the plug out of the socket. He hit Castiel's head with it. Castiel collapsed on the floor and Dean scrambled to the fallen soldier.
"What the hell did you do that for?" Dean growled.
"Dean, I don't think that was foreplay," Sam said. "He was going to hurt you!" Dean didn't answer. He just cradled Castiel's head in his lap with a curse.
"We need to get him to the hospital. I'll deal with you later," Dean said.
"What the hell happened?" Gabriel demanded, bursting through the hospital doors to see Dean and Sam. "We already have had one idiot in the hospital and now my baby brother's in the hospital?" Gabriel was livid.
"Gabriel-" Sam tried to intercept the angry older brother but he was having none of it.
"Don't even try using those puppy dog eyes on me, Sam Winchester!" Gabriel snapped. "He came home to heal, not to get beaten up and hit on the head- with a… with a…"
"Lamp," Dean filled in helpfully.
"You hit my baby brother with a lamp?" Gabriel shouted.
"Excuse me, are you Castiel Novak's brother?" the doctor asked.
"Yeah, doc, Gabriel Novak. What's going on with my brother?" Gabriel demanded, sending a glare at Sam.
"Right now, he has a mild concussion. Luckily, there was no blood and no need for stitches. Based off what your friends-"
"They are not my friends right now," Gabriel growled.
"Based off what these young men told me," the doctor said, not looking too pleased about being interrupted, "I suspect he has Post Traumatic Syndrome. PTSD. Do you have more information about his injury?" Gabriel froze and Sam and Dean looked up, both concentrating on Gabriel. The oldest Novak sighed and sat down next to Dean.
"Do you want us to leave?" Sam asked carefully, despite Dean's glare.
"Well, you two knuckleheads were bound to find out sooner or later," Gabriel grumbled. "You already know he lost his hearing. A grenade went off near him. Threw him a good thirty or forty feet too… He was already on the verge of collapsing. They had been dehydrated and running low on food for awhile and in constant action. I wasn't told the details of the mission. But he was relaxed enough that when he was thrown, he didn't suffer too much damage except a few nasty bruises, cuts, and of course, the loss of his hearing. When he came to, he was in a hospital. He found out three of his men had been killed," Gabriel said.
"So how do you… treat it?" Dean asked.
"When he came to, he was in a hospital. He found out three of his men had been killed,"
"I was at war, Dean! I have killed men, been in situations a man should never be in, watched as my brothers in arms were killed around me!"
"Every day, I would wait for your letter- wait for you to tell me something. And through all the blood and the pain, I never got one letter back from you!"
A knock on the door startled Dean out of his thoughts. He got up and opened the door. Castiel stood nervously in front of him, not looking at Dean. In fact, his back was towards Dean and he stared onto the street.
"Cas?" Dean questioned and when Castiel made no move to answer, Dean called his name again, louder. Castiel checked to see if Dean was there. He turned around once he saw the older Winchester.
"I'm sorry. About the other day," Castiel said.
"Not really your fault, Cas," Dean said awkwardly. "You, uh, you want to come in?" Castiel looked away from Dean, towards the ground.
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Castiel said.
"Yeah, well, I'll keep the lamp on me. We'll be fine," Dean said but when Castiel didn't even crack a smile, Dean made an amendment. "Too soon?"
"Barely over a day since I… attacked you?" Castiel spat. "Yes, Dean, that is too soon."
"I wouldn't say attacked…" Dean said.
"Then what would you call it?" Castiel deadpanned.
"I… you know what, just get in here," Dean growled, grabbing Castiel and hoisting him off balance to drag him inside. Castiel regained his elegance faster than anyone else would have in that situation. He closed the door behind himself, looking everywhere but at Dean once he did.
"Look Cas, it was an accident. These things- PTSD, losing it, those things happen once in awhile. I mean, didn't exactly want you to end up with PTSD but it happened. So we'll deal with it," Dean said. "Cas… were you raped?"
"No," Castiel shook his head. "I… that situation… it-"
"Whoa, take it easy," Dean said, leading Castiel, who was now sweating, to the couch. "You're not at war; you're with me, okay?" Castiel took a deep breath and nodded, looking at Dean squarely in the eyes.
Dean, and the rest of us, really had no idea what to do about Post Traumatic Stress. We had never really had to deal with it. Dean's father was in the military before Dean was born. Castiel's father had always been aloof, and as far as we knew, never suffered from PTSD. We were out of our element and praying (to the God or gods that we did or didn't believe in, depending on who we were) that Castiel had the usual case of three months.
Babies seemed to be another matter. Although we still had five months before the baby arrived, we could deal with Tracey's mood swings- at least until she started crying. Then she was all Andy's. Plus, Dean practically raised Sammy and was good with kids, so we had some expertise in the baby direction.
"When I came to after finding my men dead, I… I was attacked," Castiel choked on the words, something Dean had never heard him do. "The man tried to kill me and we ended up in that position. He was on top of me, holding a knife inches- and at moments, c-centimeters from my throat. I… I was able to turn the knife on him and…" Castiel choked on his words, closing himself off to Dean. Dean reached forward and dragged Castiel into his arms, making both of them lie down.
"You're going to be okay," Dean mumbled. "I'll make sure of it."
"It's getting late," Castiel mumbled against Dean's chest.
"Stay the night," Dean said, tightening his hold on Castiel.
"I have to call Gabriel," Castiel said.
"Not right now," Dean said.
Really, they should have been thinking about things then, or even before then. Castiel had left, leaving Dean a different man. Dean had had a hard time recovering from that one. It was probably the one of the worst experiences of Dean's life. Castiel had gone off to war. That couldn't have been an easy time. But there were times when people wanted to forget everything bad and move on.
Because as platonic as they were trying to keep things, things couldn't stay the way they were between Dean and Castiel. Like Sam had said, "Cas isn't some bartender's daughter or random hookup from years ago." To Dean, Cas was… well, Cas.
And to Dean, there were only two people's whose names could just be stated and the name would mean everything to him.
It's hard to explain but maybe an example would help…
"Dean, you shouldn't have to work so hard," Andy said. "Sam said he'd take some of the financial burden-"
"He's not getting a job. If he gets a job, he's not going to have time to study, and if he doesn't study, he's going to drop out," Dean said stubbornly.
"Why are you being so stubborn about this?" Chuck sighed. "I mean, I know you're stubborn about everything else but that's usually because you're running from something. Not working for something." Dean glared at Chuck.
"It's Sam," Dean shrugged.
"You're going to prom?" Sam asked. "You?"
"Shut up, Sam," Dean grumbled. "I know I look like an idiot."
"No you don't," Sam protested lightly. "Well, actually, when you try and tie that tie, you look like an idiot. Come over here and let me tie it." Dean grumbled under his breath and walked over to his little brother. Sam took the tie from around Dean's neck and wrapped it around his own, tying it easily.
"Where did you learn how to tie a tie? I sure as hell didn't teach you," Dean said.
"Figured you wouldn't know how to tie one so I took the liberty," Sam said, loosening the finished knot and slipping it around Dean's neck. "I know I'm awesome. Why are you doing the whole prom thing again? Chuck's not going, Gabriel's too old and flat out refused, and Andy isn't sure whether or not he's going because he and Trace had another fight."
"Cas wanted to go," Dean shrugged, looking in the mirror and adjusting the tie.
"And?" Sam said.
"It's Cas, Sam," Dean said.
Dean ignored Sam's looks when Castiel visited or he announced that he was going to see Castiel or when Castiel spent the night. Sam was kept on lock down. Dean went so far as to throw all his beer out via dumping it down the sink. Sam, thankfully not an alcoholic, watched in silence as he did so. Dean began enforcing the law around the Winchester house, almost going as far as to send Sam to Bobby's or back to Stanford.
Castiel spent most nights on the Winchester's couch. That changed the night when Tracey had false contractions and Andy freaked out. Andy had called Dean in a panic when his van had stalled. Dean ran out the door, waking Sam in his room but not Castiel on the couch. Sam had managed to get out of bed and stumble after Dean, demanding where he was going. Once Dean had explained, he sped off in the Impala. That night, the men went to the Harvelle's bar, trying to calm everyone's nerves.
"Going to get up there and sing for us again?" Jo grinned, placing a beer in front of Dean. Dean groaned and buried his face in his hands. Castiel turned towards Dean with a questioning look.
"You sing?" he asked.
"Does some damned good REO," Jo winked. "Castiel, long time no see."
"Hello, Joanna," Castiel nodded. Jo made a face.
"It's Jo. Just get back from the war?" Jo asked. Castiel nodded stiffly. "Your drink's on the house. What do you want?"
"Bloody Mary, please," Castiel ordered. Jo cracked a smile Dean snorted and Castiel gave him a questioning look. "What is so funny?"
"Your drink," Dean said. Castiel just continued staring at him until Dean tried awkwardly to explain. "Your drink, Bloody Mary… your name, Cas… never mind." Jo snorted and finished mixing Castiel's drink, placing it in front of him. She folded her arms on the countertop and turned towards Dean.
"So what brought the whole gang down here?" Jo asked.
"Tracey had false contractions," Dean said.
"She alright?" Jo asked, concerned.
"Yeah but she's going to be on partial bed rest of some shit like that," Dean said. Jo nodded and turned her attention towards Andy.
"Hey, Andy, drinks are on the house for you!" she called over. Ellen raised an eyebrow and made her way over to Jo.
"There a reason you're handing out free drinks, Jo?" she asked.
"Cas here is a soldier. Discharged from service," Dean grinned, clapping a hand down on the back of Castiel's neck.
"Honorably?" Ellen asked.
"Of course," Castiel said, looking insulted.
"And Andy's wife had early contractions. He's freaked," Jo said.
"Hey, why's Sam drinking a Shirley Temple?" Ellen asked.
"He was in the hospital for alcohol poisoning," Dean said.
"And you brought him to a bar?" Ellen frowned.
"Better we bring him here and keep an eye on him then leave him alone and let him do god know what," Dean snorted. "Do me a favor? Don't let him drink anything alcoholic."
"Yeah, sure thing," Ellen said. "Jo, why don't you go entertain Sam with a game of cards?"
"His loss," Jo smirked. "Or Dean could just get up and serenade him. Give us some Ridin' Out the Storm, action?"
"Knock it off with the REO, damn it!" Dean growled. "If I'm singing anything, it's gonna be-"
"George Michael?" Castiel asked, seemingly straight faced but a smirk was threatening to escape.
"What- oh. Right. You like that Careless Whisper song," Dean muttered. "I'm not singing."
"I think he needs shots," Castiel told Ellen.
"I'm not singing," Dean snapped. "I'm not! If you're so gung-ho on singing, why don't you get your ass up there?" Castiel chuckled and took a sip of his drink, making a face.
"I have not had anything other than beer… well, ever," Castiel said.
"Seriously?" Dean asked.
"I was twenty when I left for active service," Castiel reminded him. "Then there wasn't really time to… 'get smashed.' I saw the other soldiers do it and Balthazar advised I stick to beer. After seeing the other men with hangovers, I didn't think it was bad advice."
"Balthazar?" Dean questioned.
"My friend," Castiel said. "He… was a little on the wild side."
"Sounds like my kind of guy," Dean said.
"You'd hate him," Castiiel said bluntly. "He has a 'get mine' policy. Your personalities would clash greatly."
"If you say so," Dean shrugged. "Where is he now?"
"I believe he said something about visiting France," Castiel said. "He said he'd send postcards. He hasn't sent any yet."
"Is that a good idea? Him going to France?" Dean asked.
"I doubt if he cares," Castiel smiled. "I was surprised he was enrolled in the army when I met him. He seemed more like the type to do his own thing. He didn't do well taking orders." Dean nodded. Castiel turned his attention to the karaoke stand, where Gabriel had decided to take a stand pull Sam up there with him. Dean smirked at Sam's expression.
"Hey, baby bro, this is for you!" Gabriel shouted. "Just not in the way you're going to be thinking!"
"If I should stay, I would only be in your way. C'mon, Sammy!"
"They're…" Castiel made a face.
"Don't call me Sammy," Sam grumbled as Gabriel sang the next part.
"So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way," Gabriel sang.
"Horrible?" Dean winced. "If Sam sings that, he is not my brother."
"It's… not that bad," Castiel said, turning away from them.
"Can you even hear them right now?" Dean demanded.
"I said it didn't sound that bad, didn't I?" Castiel asked but even he could hear as Gabriel hit the high note. "I can only imagine what it sounds like to you."
"I don't think you gotta try too hard. Just turn up the volume," Dean said. He raised his beer to his lips, gulping it down. "I'm not drunk enough. I still think they sound bad." Sam was reluctantly joining in because it was either join in or be slapped on the back repeatedly with no help of getting away from a slightly tipsy Gabriel. Castiel was pretending he didn't know them and Dean didn't envy his brother. Actually, Dean was taking pictures and recording the horrible serenade with a snicker.
"Is that your brother?" a blonde asked, sauntering up to Dean. Dean allowed his eyes to run over the blonde's body.
"Can't say I know either of them," Dean said and Castiel, who had been looking at Dean until that comment, snorted and determinedly looked away from Dean and the blonde.
"I'm Jamie," she said.
"Dean," he said.
"Castiel," Castiel offered his own name.
"Hi," Jamie said.
"Hello," Castiel said, staring intensely. Dean coughed and both Castiel and Jamie's attentions turned towards him. Dean patted Castiel on the shoulder.
"He reads lips," Dean said in explanation. Jamie nodded, eyes widening slightly. Dean couldn't help but rub the back of Castiel's neck, moving so that he shielded Castiel more from Jamie's view. He didn't want her to pity Castiel. Castiel was strong- stronger than most people. He didn't need pity. Jamie glanced up at the karaoke bar.
"I think the short one has had too much to drink," Jamie said.
"Gabe can't hold his liquor," Dean said offhandedly.
"So you do know them," Jamie said in triumph.
"Darn, you caught me," Dean grinned. Jamie slid into the open seat next to Dean. Castiel glared but neither blonde noticed. Dean easily caught Jamie in a conversation and Jamie was smiling back, talking easily. Castiel felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to face whoever it was.
"Cas, help me drag them down from the karaoke bar- well, Gabe. I think Sam's still sober," Andy said. Castiel gave one last glance at Dean and the blonde before he got up to help Andy. The people watched in interest as Castiel and Andy made his way towards the barely elevated stage.
"Cas," Sam looked gratefully at the man.
"Hey, what am I, chopped liver?" Andy asked. "You get Gabe, Cas?" Castiel nodded and took the microphone from his brother.
"You wanna- wanna turn, Cas?" Gabriel grinned with a hiccup. Castiel rolled his eyes and set the microphone back on its stand. Although Sam was probably more than capable, Castiel bent down and threw Castiel over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, despite his small, scrawny frame. The crowd began clapping as Castiel made his way off the stage with his brother.
"They love me! Hey, put me down, Cas! Gotta please my audience!" Gabriel said.
"You can't give them too much of you," Castiel advised. "It's good to have things happen in short bursts. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
"Hmmm, maybe you're right," Gabriel said before falling asleep slung on Castiel's back.
"Was he drinking with Chuck again?" Castiel asked.
"I think he got one of those sweet fruity drinks with all the alcohol," Andy said. "Maybe we'd better get them home- how much did Dean have to drink?"
"Last I checked, he was on his second beer," Castiel said. "Why?" He turned around to see Dean with the blonde practically in his lap, definitely closer than she had been when Castiel had left. Castiel's hands tightened on his brother's legs and Gabriel wiggled uncomfortably, letting out a grunt.
"Cas, maybe we should get Chuck now-" Andy said. Castiel adjusted Gabriel and stalked over to Dean and Jamie, anger present in his eyes.
Dean didn't turn when he felt a hand on his shoulder but the weight of Gabriel was enough to snap him out of his trance. He broke away from Jamie and ended up with Gabriel in his arms instead of the hot blonde.
"What the hell, Cas?" Dean demanded.
"I'm tired and you brought us here so you take care of him," Castiel growled. He turned around and headed out of the bar. Dean looked to Sam for help. Sam just shrugged, giving Dean a pointed look. Dean groaned and situated himself and Gabriel so he could get up. He gave Jamie an apologetic smile, making some excuse off the top of his head. He didn't look back as he gave Gabriel to Sam and followed Castiel out the door.
"What the hell, Cas?" Dean demanded. "Cas?" Castiel had his two hands on the Impala's hood. He was bent over and breathing hard. Dean walked forward carefully, making sure that Castiel saw him but Castiel wasn't paying attention to Dean.
"There was a woman in a bar… she was all over me- her name was Chastity. Balthazar later informed me she was a hooker," Castiel said. "She… wanted sexual relations with me. I was out of my element. She kissed me. I didn't know what to do. I…"
"You slept with her," Dean stated. Castiel nodded and the admission hurt. Dean's hands clenched into fists. "How… how was she? Hot in the sack?"
"It… it was good," Castiel said. "I had never been with a woman before."
"Cas, why are you telling me this?" Dean swallowed.
"I don't know… maybe this is why the Catholics have confession," Castiel said, turning around and sitting on the hood. Dean bit back the retort about Castiel's shoes being on the bumper when Castiel moved, letting his feet hang instead of rest. Dean sighed and sat down next to Castiel.
"Come on, Cas," Dean sighed. "What's up? Not literally." He added when Castiel looked upwards towards the streetlamp.
"I didn't like seeing you and her together," Castiel said.
"That's jealousy, Cas," Dean explained patiently. Castiel glared at Dean and moved, so fast and unexpected that Dean had no time to react. Castiel had Dean pinned in seconds, trapping Dean's body with his own. His hands were pinned by his head.
"I know what jealousy is, Dean. I am not the same, naïve boy I was when I left four years ago," Castiel growled. "I am not a puppy, Dean. I am not to be given attention and pushed away at your will. I am Castiel Novak- your Cas. And I am not going to sit around and wait for you, Dean! I either have you or I don't but I am not some slut to be called at your indiscretion. Do not try running from me, Dean."
"I…" Dean said. Castiel waited for an answer and then when Dean didn't give him one, he got up and began walking away. "Cas! Cas!"
"I'm taking the bus!" Castiel snapped.
"Dean!" Sam shouted. Dean looked up to find Sam with Gabriel thrown over his shoulder and Andy and some girl supporting Chuck. "Where's Cas?"
"He decided to take the bus," Dean grunted. "Andy?"
"Yeah?" Andy asked.
"That's not Tracey," Dean said.
"Thank you Dean. I'm sure I couldn't have figured it out for myself that this wasn't my four month pregnant wife," Andy rolled his eyes.
"No, uh, Dean, this is Sarah Blake," Sam said. "She offered to help us get the guys into the car. Thanks again." Sarah gave him a small smile.
"Sam, you're not supposed to make ladies carry drunken idiots," Dean said. "Here, give him to me." Sarah removed Chuck's arm from her shoulder and gave him to Dean. Together, Dean and Andy maneuvered Chuck into the backseat of the Impala as Sarah went to go help Sam. Sarah said something to Sam and Sam chuckled, smiling in a way Dean hadn't seen in a long time and said something back. Dean found himself smiling until Andy nudged him and mentioned he was going to get going. Dean nodded and Andy made his way to his van.
"You need a ride home, Sarah?" Dean asked. "It's getting late."
"I have my own ride, thanks. Nice car though. '67?" Sarah asked.
"Yep," Dean grinned appreciatively.
"I'll see you around, Sam. Call me," Sarah gave his little brother a wink and he blushed. Dean motioned after Sarah, signaling him.
"Go, you idiot! Walk her to her friggin' car!" Dean hissed.
"Sarah, wait up! I'll walk you to your car!" Sam said.
"That's my boy," Dean grinned, sitting down in the driver's seat. Sam got in the passenger's seat several minutes later, trying to hide a grin.
"Sam, marry that girl," Dean said.
"You're just saying that because she knew what year your car was," Sam rolled his eyes.
"Hey, that one's a keeper," Dean grinned. "So you taking her out?"
"What?" Sam asked.
"Well she said call her and you don't say no to a hot number like that," Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes.
"Let's just get these guys home," Sam said.
"Here," Dean said three days later, handing Sam his phone.
"What?" Sam asked.
"Call her," Dean said.
"You know who. The hot chick at the bar- Sandy, Sandra-"
"Sarah," Sam said firmly and Dean grinned.
"Ha! Knew she was on your mind," Dean said. "Call her."
"You know, I don't get it. What do you care if I hook up?" Sam said.
"Because then maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time," Dean snapped. Sam made an exasperated sound. "You know, seriously Sam, this isn't about just hooking up, okay? I mean I, I think that this Sarah girl could be good for you. And I don't mean any disrespect, but I'm, I'm sure that this is about Jessica, right? I would think that she would want you to be happy. God forbid have fun once in a while- good, healthy, fun. Wouldn't she?"
"Yeah I know she would," Sam said quietly. "Yeah you're right. Part of this is about Jessica. But not the main part."
"What's it about?" Dean asked but Sam didn't answer. "Sam-"
"Where's Cas been?" Sam asked.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Cas. Castiel. You know, the guy who just got back from the army who's been spending the night at our house every week?" Sam asked.
"He just… hasn't been coming around, lately. He's been busy," Dean said.
"What did you do?" Sam demanded.
"What? Nothing!" Dean said.
"Dean, I told you already! Cas isn't some-"
"I know he's not!" Dean shouted.
"Then what the hell Dean?" Sam demanded. "Because he's not going to wait around forever." Dean's hands clenched into fists. Sam reached over and grabbed Dean's cell phone off the coffee table. He held it out for his brother to take.
"I'll call Sarah if you call Cas," Sam said.
"You can't give me ultimatums," Dean said.
"I can and I am," Sam said.
"I'm older!" Dean said.
"I'm fluent in Latin!" Sam said.
"What?" Dean frowned.
"Exactly. Now call," Sam said.
"You first," Dean frowned.
"No, you," Sam frowned back at Dean.
"You," Dean said.
"You," Sam shot back.
"Jerk," Sam said. Both brothers slipped open their brother's phones and began calling the person of their brother's choice while trying to wrestle the phone from the other.
"Hello?" Sarah answered.
"Sarah, hey, hold on a second," Dean grinned, giving Sam the phone.
"I don't understand. W-why do you want me to say my name?" Sam looked at Dean helplessly as Dean listened to the message machine and he hung up.
"Sarah, hi, it's Sam," Sam said. "Yeah, no, that was Dean. He, uh… drunk dialed. Yeah, Chuck spiked his drink. Hey, listen, you want to go out sometime? Tonight? Really? Uh, no, I mean- yes. That's great. Uh, I'll pick you up at seven? Okay, great. Yeah, I'll see you there." Sam grinned and hung up. He tried to make it go away when he saw Dean. The house phone began ringing.
"Dean…" Sam said.
"Good for you Sammy. Told you she digs you. Where's the phone?" Dean asked, looking around. He paused when it went to voice mail.
"Hey, Winchesters! I know you're home! One of you pick up the god damn phone!" Gabriel's voice shouted. Dean and Sam froze, hearing struggling in the background. "Ow! Damn it, Castiel! Get your asses over here- he's having one hell of a nightmare! Your phone's under the couch!" Dean and Sam raced out the door, both getting in their appropriate sides. Sam barely had time to put on his seat belt before Dean began speeding to the Novak's house.
Dean burst out of the car, not bothering to lock the door of the Impala as he ran up the steps and to the Novak's house. He tried opening the door but he couldn't so he banged on it.
"Dean, move!" Sam ordered. Dean moved out of the way and Sam kicked open the door, running in before his brother. "Gabe! Gabriel!"
"Upstairs!" Gabriel grunted. Dean beat Sam to the stairs, skipping two, sometimes three at a time to get upstairs. Dean rounded the corner and burst through Castiel's door. Gabriel was trying to hold his brother down, already sporting a bloody lip and some scratches. Dean helped in pinning Castiel down.
"Cas, Cas its Dean. Come on, wake up. Cas, wake up baby, come on," Dean said. "Ow!" Castiel kicked him in his side. "Sam, some help!" Sam rushed forward, pinning Castiel's legs down with his arms and using his upper body to pin his legs down as he pushed down on Castiel's chest, giving Dean a safer angle.
"Cas, come on, baby. No one's hurting you," Dean whispered, brushing Castiel's cheek. "Come on, baby, wake up!" Castiel jolted awake in a cold sweat, looking around with wild eyes. He was panting heavily. Once his eyes made contact with Dean's he grabbed onto him, arms wrapping around the middle of his chest. Dean wrapped his arms around the youngest Novak, pulling him in close. Sam removed himself from Castiel's legs.
"Gabe, come on," Sam ordered gently, leading the older Novak out. Once out of the room and having the door closed, Gabriel leaned against the wall and sat on the floor. "Gabe?"
"He's not okay, Sammy," Gabriel choked. "He's… he's anything but okay." Sam sighed and sat down.
"He just got back from the war, Gabe. He's not going to be our Cas just yet," Sam said.
"I never should have let him go to the military," Gabriel said, burying his face in his hands.
"I don't think you could have stopped him," Sam said. Gabriel snorted and shook his head.
"I couldn't even do anything. I had to call someone else to help my little brother," Gabriel said.
"You probably kept him from damaging himself even more. It's good you called us," Sam said.
"Dean wouldn't have had to call someone to help with you," Gabriel said.
"You can't compare you two," Sam said. "Your relationship with Castiel than Dean and mine's relationship with each other is." Gabriel didn't answer; he just stared at the wall in front of him. Sam's phone began ringing and Sam looked at the caller- Sarah Blake.
"Shit. What time is it?" Sam cursed. Gabriel didn't answer so Sam ordered Gabriel to stay put as he turned the corner to answer. "Sarah, I am so sorry."
"I don't get it Sam. I think you like me. I mean, I thought we had something going," Sarah said, obviously not happy.
"Sarah, I'm sorry," Sam said. "There was an emergency…"
"What happened? Are you alright?" she asked.
"One of my friends just got back from the war and he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," Sam said. "He had… an attack, I guess. His brother couldn't wake him up and he was going to hurt himself if we didn't wake up so he called me and my brother, and…"
"Oh, Sam, I'm so sorry I got upset," Sarah said.
"Don't be. I should have called," Sam said.
"So… rain check, if you're up to it?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, rain check," Sam echoed before they hung up. He made his way back to Gabriel, who had managed to slump down even further against the wall, looking like the devil had chased him to Hell and back. Sam supposed it had. He picked Gabriel up, pretty sure Gabriel didn't have the mental capacity to do anything other than sit and stare at the wall. He made sure to clean Gabriel's wounds before putting Gabriel in his bed, asleep, before he closed the door quietly and went to see how Dean and Castiel were doing.
"I think we know why he didn't pick up his cell phone," Sam said quietly. Dean looked exhausted. Castiel was sleeping on his chest, still holding onto Dean tightly despite his slumber. "You two need anything? How's your side?"
"There'll be a bruise," Dean shrugged, or tried to. "How's Gabe?"
"He managed to fall asleep. Looks like hell. I took care of the bloody lip," Sam said. "Do you know what set him off?"
"He hasn't talked yet," Dean shook his head. Sam sighed and sat on the bed.
"Dean?" Sam said.
"Oh god, we're not going to have a chick flick moment are we?" Dean frowned.
"Dean, shut up and just listen," Sam gave him his bitch face. "Thanks, you know, for not giving up on me."
"Sam, you're my brother," Dean said. "Of course I won't give up on your sorry ass. Hey, I've been thinking…?"
"You think?" Sam smirked and Dean hit him on the arm.
"I think we should take a road trip," Dean said. "And before you say anything- it's not what you're thinking. It'll be just like it used to be- just you and me, on the open road. What do you think?" Sam looked at Dean and then at Castiel pointedly.
"Things can't be exactly the way they were," Sam pointed out.
"Well, maybe change is a good thing," Dean said looking fondly at Castiel. Castiel made a noise and began shifting. Dean and Sam were quiet as Castiel got comfortable again and went back into his peaceful slumber.
"What about Cas? What if he has another attack?" Sam asked. "We can't just get back in a second if he has another episode on a road trip."
"Well, we'll wait out the rest of the three months and if he's better, we'll go and be back before the baby comes. If he's not, we'll wait longer," Dean shrugged. "Give you some time to get to know Sarah- hey, didn't you have a date with her?" Sam sighed.
"Missed it. She called when I was with Gabriel. I explained and she said we'd make a rain check," Sam said.
"Sam," Dean said, "you can't put your life on hold forever."
"I know," Sam said.
"Dean?" Castiel opened his eyes after Sam left.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Dean asked.
"Chastity slapped me," Castiel said.
"What?" Dean asked, startled.
"The hooker. She slapped me because I couldn't get go another round and I told her I wasn't interested in her, but rather someone who looked like her- you," Castiel mumbled before he fell back asleep. Dean stared at the sleeping man before his arms tightened around Castiel, suddenly feeling a lot better.
Things changed between them after that- for the better.
Castiel began going to a therapist, after that. Sam went on a few dates with Sarah- well, actually, they couldn't really be considered dates because he invited her on outings with the rest of us. She was good with him- we could all see that and everyone but Sarah knew she had Dean's blessing. Gabriel was more protective of Castiel, who was beginning to spend the night with Dean, like an actually sleepover where they slept in each other's bed- minus the sex. Dean stopped looking at other people even though Castiel and Dean hadn't quite defined their relationship and their tongues weren't shoved down each other's throats.
Tracey's pregnancy was going along nicely. She had a few Braxton Hicks contractions, which scared the hell out of us. Castiel was pretty much alright after three months. He still had the occasional nightmare, but we were pretty sure we knew why when a buddy of his visited.
"Hello, do you know where I can find a man with a dirty jacket? He's got a stick up his ass, ex-soldier. Pretty blue eyes, stares a lot. No concept of personal space," Dean looked up at the explanation the blonde haired man was offering a random lady in the diner. He exchanged looks with Chuck and Chuck shrugged.
"Maybe it's one of his army buddies?" Chuck asked.
"Hey!" Dean waved the stranger down. "You know, you should probably start with a name before you start giving out descriptions." The blonde man looked at Dean with interest.
"Yes, I believe I should. His name's Castiel. I like to call him Cassie because it seems to be the only thing that gets a reaction out of him. You know him?" he asked.
"Who's asking?" Dean asked.
"Oh, trust me, he'll want to see me," he smiled a fake smile
"Really? Why don't you just tell me your name and we'll be merrily on our way?" Dean grinned back and it was just as fake. Chuck sighed and shook his head, turning his attention to his food. Alpha males were the worst. Dean and the man continued to glare at each other even as the little bell on the diner door rang.
"Balthazar?" a familiar, gruff voice asked.
"Oh, there he is!" Balthazar grinned, walking over to Castiel with his arms open, pulling him into a hug, ignoring Dean's glare. "I have missed you! I almost remembered how much I missed you when I saw you and then… what is with this trench coat?"
"It was his dad's," Dean said, possessively wrapping and arm around Castiel's shoulders before Castiel could answer. Balthazar looked at Dean in a new light, apparently not liking what he was seeing.
"And this is…?" Balthazar asked, saying "this" like Dean was a specimen.
"This is Dean, Balthazar," Castiel said.
"I'm Chuck," Chuck said timidly, and rather unhelpfully.
"Dean. This is Dean. The infamous Dean?" Balthazar said. Castiel blushed and looked away. "This is Dean Winchester?"
"So, I guess Cas has talked about me?" Dean asked.
"Talked about you? Ha! You're all he talks about! Oh, give me a hug, you, you big gorilla! I'm very sorry about my behavior earlier, I didn't know you were my Cassie's Dean!" Balthazar said. "He's like my little brother, you know-"
"I'm older than you," Castiel said pointedly.
"Of course you are, Cassie," Balthazar said, pulling away from a very stiff Dean.
"Don't call me that," Castiel frowned briefly. "What are you doing here, Balthazar?"
"I figured my postcards weren't enough," Balthazar grinned.
"You never sent any," Castiel blinked.
"Hm? Oh, yes, I knew I forgot something," Balthazar said, digging through his duffel bag. Castiel and Balthazar seemed to be in their own little world, trading comments like old friends, or hell, even brothers. Dean had a hard time trying to control the jealousy that was raging in him for the sake of Castiel.
"Well, here you are! I wrote on them too," Balthazar grinned. Castiel rolled his eyes as he checked the back.
"I'm not sure whether or not I'm thankful you didn't send them," Castiel muttered when he read the backs. Dean looked over his shoulder and smirked.
Still got that stick up your ass? I had one up mine!
Did you know that women go crazy for soldiers? Men too, if you go to the right establishment. Speaking of men, any luck with yours?
"I've told you to stop calling me Cassie," Castiel grumbled.
"Yes, well, you said Dean here always calls Sam Sammy, where is this brother of yours? I hear he's remarkably tall, like a sasquatch," Balthazar said, looking around.
"Balthazar, what are you doing here?" Castiel repeated his question.
"Well I'm here to see you, of course," Balthazar said impatiently. "What else would I be doing caught in a small town like this if it wasn't for you?"
"Where are you staying?" Castiel asked.
"How long are you staying?" Dean asked.
"With you, of course," Balthazar said. "And depending on what I see here, I might be only staying a few days."
"'Might'?" Dean echoed, to which Balthazar gave him a not-so-reassuring smile.
"Hold up. Who's inviting people to stay at my house?" Gabriel demanding, having caught the last part of the conversation as he, Sam, and Sarah walked through the door. "Aw, damn it, it's you!" Even Castiel looked surprised as Balthazar got a huge grin on his face, walking towards Gabriel to give him a hug, which the older Novak did his best to get out of.
"Gabe, how good to see you!" Balthazar grinned.
"You know each other?" Castiel frowned.
"I believe I tormented him when he was passing through my home town," Balthazar said.
"Tormented… Hah, understatement!" Gabriel snorted. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Well, I'm visiting Castiel," Balthazar said. Gabriel groaned.
"Damn, I had hoped the names were a coincidence…" Gabriel muttered. "Cas, why do you always find lost puppies to bring home?" Castiel blinked and Dean and Balthazar protested.
"They are not puppies. They are human," Castiel frowned, giving both men a glance over as if to double check.
See, the first time Castiel and Dean had met was a few weeks after the Winchesters had moved to our home. Castiel had decided he wanted some peace and quiet after his brother and father had been fighting again. He made his way down to the lake. When Mr. Novak and Gabriel found out he was gone, they called me and I had a pretty good idea of where he was going. Of course, being his childhood friend, I had a pretty good idea of where he was going and I offered to collect the teenager of Thursday.
Ironically, although I don't remember the exact day, I know it was a Thursday when Dean and Castiel met.
Castiel made his way down to the lake. Being Castiel, he was more than content to just sit on the side of it. That day, he wasn't. He stripped down to his boxers and dove into the lake. Castiel had always been a strong swimmer and everyone knew it, especially Castiel. The lake had strong undercurrents that Castiel had never had a problem getting out of, somehow. He normally stayed out because his father and Gabriel told him not to go when the undercurrents were strong. Today was different for him. He climbed out once he was on the other side, shaking his head sort of like a wet dog.
He heard a splash and saw the oldest Winchester falling in because he had grabbed onto his little brother and threw him the other way so he wouldn't fall in. Of course, the oldest Winchester had swung his brother and when he let go, he fell into the river himself.
Dean wasn't really a strong swimmer. He could swim but he had never been in a situation where there were undercurrents. Castiel, knowing the undercurrents (and he would later admit he had spent lots of time underwater learning the currents and studying them, much to everyone's chagrin), waited until Dean was close enough before he just bent down and grabbed Dean's forearm, pulling with such a force and with the right current that Dean practically flew out of the water and into Castiel, sending them both to the ground.
Seeing a guy older than me and Castiel I didn't know on top of my childhood friend (who was in his boxers, by the way) was not what I expected, to say the least.
"Who are you?" Dean asked.
"My name is Castiel," he blinked.
"Are you an angel?" Dean asked.
"I am named after the angel of Thursday," Castiel said. Dean looked surprised and he was about to get off of Castiel (or so he said) but then I came in.
"Get off of him!" I smacked Dean with my messenger bag and the dictionary in it later gave him a bruise. Dean recovered quickly and was about to kill me before Castiel grabbed onto him, saving my life. Once back at Castiel's house and treating everyone for cuts, bruises, hypothermia, and misconceptions, Dean forgave me for hitting him with a messenger bag and giving him a bruise on the side of his chin.
Balthazar was in town for two weeks before he finally saw what he wanted to see. The nightmares he may have induced weren't because of the war, but because he was… well, Balthazar. The dude could talk. He had a witty retort for everything, made Dean spit out his coffee with a few tactless remarks, made Gabriel furious when they weren't getting along, tried annoying Castiel, which really only made him blink as he was used to his "humor", made Sarah and Tracey blush, making Sam and Andy get mad, and was always looking over my shoulder when I sat down to write.
"Not that I'm not happy you're here, Balthazar…" Castiel said slowly. "But when do you plan on leaving? You never stay in one place for this long." Balthazar looked up at Castiel, not hurt or surprised. Balthazar had apparently learned about Castiel's blunt nature well enough to know that if Castiel had a question, he'd ask it. Bluntly.
"Don't worry your pretty little head over it, Cassie-boy. I'm sure I'll be out of your hair before you know it," Balthazar smiled, ruffling Castiel's hair. Castiel moved away with a slight frown, batting Balthazar's hand away. "I've missed you, you know. Didn't know how you were doing without me. You always seemed like a puppy dog, you know. Following orders down to a T and eyes too big for your face… I just missed you." Castiel nodded and Balthazar stood up, ruffling Castiel's hair again as he walked away from the kitchen table.
Balthazar also happened to really like crowds. Not to mention he was a great storyteller. He had a way of keeping everyone's attention on him. He admitted he didn't have the patience to sit down and actually write a book. He believed storytelling was meant to be oral, where people could watch his reactions. He liked it better that way, which really suited his personality.
He enjoyed telling stories of his travels. Like Castiel, he didn't really have any concept of "personal space" but we suspected he was doing it on purpose to piss people (namely Dean and Sam) off. He enjoyed being around people so he could tell his stories and at a get together, he got his chance.
"Y-you! You are c-crazy!" Gabriel hiccupped, trying to hide his laughter.
"And you, my friend, can't hold your liquor!" Balthazar announced, just having finished the story of how he had conned a man into giving him a mistreated llama where it now resided peacefully on some farm with a very nice couple who allowed Balthazar to visit when he pleased. No one but Castiel and Chuck really noticed as he took the beer bottle out of Gabriel's hand, putting it slightly out of the shorter man's reach.
"Why did you rescue a llama?" Dean asked with an arm over Castiel's shoulder, who was on the verge of falling asleep, having been kept up all night talking with Balthazar about the war. Gabriel had assured Dean that nothing had happened between the two. He had left around midnight because he had work the next day. Dean was getting used to Balthazar's presence but he was by no means ready to share Castiel.
"Balthazar has a love for animals," Castiel grunted from Dean's shoulder. "He once found a kitten and took it with us until he found a suitable owner." Balthazar frowned and shoved Castiel playfully, to which Castiel gave an annoyed grunt, shifting so he could shove Balthazar back.
"You're going to make me sound nice. I am not nice," Balthazar said. "I'm not the only one who's done heroic deeds, you know. Castiel once helped a woman give birth." Tracey and Andy perked up upon hearing that.
"You did?" Chuck asked.
"It was nothing special," Castiel blushed, taking refuge in the crook of Dean's neck.
"Nothing special! Hah! You're the reason that baby made it out. That woman wouldn't have known what to do if you hadn't been there," Balthazar said. "We were passing through a town and a lady let us stay at her home for a few nights- no one else would house us, you see. We were the other side's soldiers, after all. Anyways, she was three weeks away from her due date-"
"Five," Castiel said.
"Five weeks away from her due date," Balthazar corrected himself. "And while I was out, Castiel delivered the baby! Imagine my surprise when I came back to the house and seeing Castiel holding a baby with wide doe eyes while the rest of our men looked ready to faint!"
"I did what had to be done," Castiel muttered.
"You may have done what had to be done Cas, but that baby is alive because of you," Balthazar smiled, nudging Castiel's foot with his own. "They named the baby after him, in a way. They named her Thursday. Fitting, since she was born on a Thursday and delivered by the angel of Thursday. They probably would have named you godfather but you looked like you were about to faint. Didn't they give you the picture?"
"In my wallet on the dresser over there," Castiel muttered. Sam, being the closest, reached over and shifted through Castiel's wallet and pulled out the picture. Castiel was holding a baby, looking tired and definitely doe eyed as he stared at the little miracle in his arms.
"You never said anything about helping deliver a baby," Tracey said when Sarah showed her the picture.
"That's probably because he fainted right after handing over the baby to his mum," Balthazar snickered.
"I was dehydrated and malnourished," Castiel glared at him. "I did not faint because I was surprised."
"Keep telling yourself that, Cas," Balthazar chuckled. Andy passed the picture over to Dean, who examined t carefully.
"Huh. I remember when Sammy was that age. You had bigger cheeks, sasquatch," Dean grinned, to which Sam glared and threw a baby at him. "Cas, you look like you've never held a baby before. Hell, you look like you've never even seen one."
"Of course I've seen babies before," Castiel snapped. "I'd never held one before Thursday, let alone help give deliver one." Dean chuckled and pressed a kiss on the top of Castiel's head, giving him his picture back. Both men looked surprised by that and Dean got up, making the excuse to refill his drink and leaving Castiel to lean heavily on the couch. Castiel stubbornly avoided Balthazar's eyes as the blonde looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm surprised you never told that story," Chuck said. "How come you never did?"
"We lost one of our men the next day after we left," Castiel said shortly. Both he and Balthazar were avoiding looking at anyone. "I did not wish to relive it." The group got quiet. Dean, who had been listening at the doorway, finally came in with another drink, this time soda instead of a beer. We had all been cutting down to support Tracey, Sam, and the baby. Yes, even me.
"Well, at least we know if we need someone to deliver Tracey's baby, we got our own doctor here," Dean said, clapping Castiel on the shoulder as he took his place on the couch again. Castiel looked like a deer caught in the headlights, pale at the thought of having to deliver another baby. Tracey just smiled and Andy looked worried.
"That's not funny," Andy said and everyone but Castiel, Andy, and Gabriel (who was passed out) started laughing. Gabriel looked around groggily and his eyes landed on Balthazar.
"What are you doing here? I thought I got rid of you back with the llama," Gabriel accused.
"You did, love, but I found I couldn't just stay away," Balthazar said. "Greatest night of my life, you were, you know."
"You had sex with my brother?" Castiel frowned.
"Don't be-" Balthazar was about to say "ridiculous" but Gabriel interrupted.
"Who's having sex with my brother besides Dean?" Gabriel burped.
"Maybe we should get you to bed," Castiel muttered, about to get up but Sam beat him to it.
"I got him," Sam said. "It's getting late. Sarah, I'll take you home after I get him in bed, alright?"
"Alright," Sarah nodded, giving him a small smile. Sam had no problem throwing the lightweight over his shoulder and carrying him up the stairs.
"Your brother is a sasquatch," Balthazar announced to Dean. "Did you know that?"
"Never would have guess without you," Dean rolled his eyes.
"Of course you wouldn't have. Glad to help," Balthazar said, looking pleased with himself.
"Maybe we should get you to bed too," Dean said when Castiel yawned.
"'M not tired," Castiel mumbled.
"Course you're not," Dean said, standing up so he could pick Castiel up bridal style. "Damn, you're heavy."
"Need help?" Balthazar asked.
"He ain't that heavy," Dean said, walking around Balthazar to take Castiel to his bedroom. Balthazar turned towards Chuck.
"What's the story between those two?" Balthazar asked.
"Cas didn't tell you?" Chuck asked.
"No. He's mentioned the gorilla, of course. He practically lives by the word of Dean," Balthazar rolled his eyes. "But all he says is, 'Dean said this,' and 'Dean did this.' He obviously cares about the bloke but they act as if they touch the other one, they'll break. I've only been here for two weeks and it's annoying as hell." Chuck glanced at Andy and Tracey. Andy looked hesitant and Tracey bit her lip. Tracey hadn't been around that much because those were the years she and Andy were on and off every two months. She'd missed a pretty big chunk. Sarah hadn't been us back then. If my numbers are correct, she moved here about two or three years ago.
"So what were they?" Balthazar persisted. "Childhood sweethearts?"
"You'd think so," Chuck finally sighed.
"What do you mean?" Balthazar asked.
"Chuck and Cas met in preschool," Andy said. "I came along in the fourth grade and Tracey came in middle school. When Cas was seventeen and Dean was nineteen and Sam was fifteen, the Winchesters moved into town."
"That old? Really?" Balthazar mused.
"They got close," Sam said, coming back downstairs. "Really close. I'd never seen Dean so comfortable with anyone except me and Dad."
"From the time Cas 'gripped Dean tight and raised him' from the water," Andy shot Chuck a smirk, "it was Dean and Cas, even if they weren't together."
"Perdition!" Chuck snapped. "Perdition!"
"What?" Balthazar raised an eyebrow.
"His books," Sarah explained. "'Castiel gripped Dean tight and raised him from Perdition,' thus introducing angels into the series."
"Ah, yes," Balthazar said. "I do recall you saying you're a writer."
"Cas is asleep," Dean announced, walking back into the now quiet room.
"Guess it's time we get everyone home," Sam said.
"Dean, may I have a word with you?" Balthazar asked as Dean was about to leave.
"Sure," Dean shrugged, maneuvering around Tracey. "What's eating your pants?"
"You and Cassie-boy," Balthazar said.
"What about us?" Dean asked.
"No need to get defensive, dear boy. I just want to make sure he'll be alright when I leave," Balthazar said. "Can I trust you to take care of him?" Balthazar and Dean stared at each other, neither giving in.
"You don't have to ask," Dean grunted.
"Good," Balthazar said, satisfied. "I guess I'll leave tomorrow then."
"You should say bye," Dean said. "Before you go. He'd like that." Balthazar raised an eyebrow.
"Oh?" Balthazar said but Dean didn't answer. He just closed the door behind himself.
"It's such a shame you're leaving," Tracey told Balthazar. Andy made a face as his wife hugged the ex-soldier and he gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Don't worry love, I suspect I'll be back before you know it," Balthazar winked. "Be good for your mother, little one. Don't come five weeks early like Thursday did or your Uncle Cas might faint." Castiel let out a huff of annoyance that Balthazar pretended not to hear as he turned to Andy. "Good woman, you got here, Andy. Real trooper."
"I know," Andy said. Balthazar turned to Chuck then.
"You should start publishing your books again, Mr. Edlund," Balthazar said. "It's a shame to let them go unfinished." Chuck was surprised.
"How did you-"
"I found some of the rough drafts you were working on," Balthazar shrugged, turning to Sam and Sarah. "He's quite tall, Ms. Blake. Are you sure you don't want someone closer to your height?" Sarah laughed and Sam rolled his eyes, both smiling.
"Goodbye, Balthazar," she said firmly. "Visit soon."
"I'll be back before you know it," Balthazar winked, kissing her on the cheek as well. "Make sure the little tyke knows who his uncle Balthazar is."
"You think it's going to be a boy?" Tracey asked.
"Well I certainly hope so," Balthazar huffed. "Your lot of alpha males won't know what to do with a girl!" He turned to Dean. "I don't suppose you want a kiss and a hug?"
"How about a handshake and you get your ass out of here?" Dean smirked.
"Such elegance," Balthazar rolled his eyes. "I do hope you clean up your language when the baby comes." Dean rolled his eyes and held his hand out. Balthazar took it and pulled Dean in closer for a hug, pounding the oldest Winchester on the back as men did. "Take care of him." Balthazar released Dean and turned to Castiel.
"I don't suppose Gabriel is coming to see me off?" Balthazar asked.
"I think he's still trying to figure out if you two actually had sex or not," Castiel said.
"Yes, well he was drunk more than half the time," Balthazar mused. "Take care of yourself, Cas." Castiel and Balthazar stared at each other before Castiel pulled Balthazar into a hug.
"Visit soon, brother," Castiel said.
"Of course, brother," Balthazar smiled. Castiel opened the taxi door for Balthazar and Balthazar got in, waving at everyone until he was out of sight.
"You were right," Dean said, arm slung over Castiel's shoulders as he led him down the sidewalk.
"About what?" Castiel asked.
"I hate him," Dean said. Castiel smile.
"He wasn't that bad," Castiel said.
"He made me spit out my coffee," Dean said.
"You know he was waiting for an opportunity. Why did you give him one?" Castiel chuckled. "What did he say, anyways? To make you spit out your coffee?"
"Don't worry about it," Dean grunted.
"So, you were the one who grabbed that stick up Cas's ass and shoved yours up there in its place?"
"Something disgusting about llamas," Dean said. Castiel raised an eyebrow.
"When he first met his llama, it spat on his coffee cup," Castiel said and Dean started laughing.
"So, how's the PTSD?" Dean asked carefully.
"No more flashbacks," Castiel said. "The occasional dream, thankfully non violent. Just nightmares." Dean tightened his arm around Castiel's shoulders, giving him silent support. "The therapist says I can longer time periods between my sessions."
"I'm kind of surprised you went," Dean admitted. "You hated that family therapist."
"After hurting you and Gabriel…" Castiel trailed off.
"So how was it seeing Balthazar again?" Dean asked.
"It's… sort of like being reunited with your family… who isn't your family," Castiel tilted his head, trying to explain. "I was getting worried because he hadn't sent any postcards."
"Probably got drunk when he bought them for you and forgot to send them," Dean said.
"That sounds like him," Castiel nodded.
"So Sammy and I are taking your advice and hitting the road for two weeks," Dean said. Castiel's eyes lifted towards Dean.
"I believe that will be good for the two of you," Castiel said. "When are you leaving?"
"In about a week or two. We'll be back before the baby is born and I'll have my cell phone and charger on me this time- Sam will have his too. If you need something, all you got to do is call and-" Dean rambled on.
"Dean," Castiel interrupted. "What do you really want to ask?" Dean took a breath and they walked in silence for a few more buildings before they stopped in front the gazebo where they had their first kiss.
"When I get back… you want to catch a movie or something? And dinner?" Dean asked. Castiel raised an eyebrow.
"Are you asking me out?" Castiel asked.
"Yeah, I am," Dean said.
"I'd like that," Castiel nodded.
"Good," Dean said.
"Good," Castiel said.
"Then it's a date," Dean said.
"Yes, it is," Castiel smiled.
Dean and Sam took off on their road trip. Before they left though, there were one- well, actually two things that Sam needed to do. Dean shrugged and let him go off without too much of a hassle, already having an idea of what Sam was going to do.
"Jake!" Sam shouted. Jake looked up from his cigarette and stood up with a smile to greet Sam.
"Sam, I haven't seen you in months. You finally got away from your brother?" Jake asked.
"Kind of the opposite," Sam said.
"Care to explain?" Jake asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Look, Jake, you helped me a lot- with Jess's death and all… but I think I don't need that kind of help anymore," Sam said.
"Sam, what are you saying?" Jake frowned.
"I'm saying I'm out, man. The fighting, the drinking, the cigarettes… I'm done," Sam said. Jake stared at the Sam before him and then nodded.
"Alright, I can respect that," Jake said.
"And I think…" Sam said hesitantly.
"Yes?" Jake asked.
"I think you need to stop this too. You need to grow up, Jake. We're not teenagers anymore," Sam said. "I'm going on a road trip with Dean today and I won't be back for two weeks but when I get back… you know I'm here for you, right?" Jake nodded.
"Thanks man," Jake said and Sam began to walk away. "And hey, Sam?" Sam turned around to see Jake taking out a carton of cigarettes from his jacket and tossing them in the trashcan. He also took out a flash and emptied it. Sam smiled.
"I'm proud of you, Jake," Sam said and then he took off to find Sarah.
He knocked on her door and she answered. She looked surprised when she saw him.
"Hey, I was just going to work," she said. "Aren't you guys leaving today?" Sam nodded.
"I just wanted to say um, see you in two weeks," Sam said.
"Oh, well see you in two weeks," Sarah smiled. "Um, was that all?"
"Yeah, yeah that was all," Sam said. Sarah watched him walk down the steps before she closed the door. She sighed and leaned against the door, crossing her arms and shaking her head. Sam paused at the bottom step and looked back. Then he made up his mind and knocked on the door.
"I just needed to do this," Sam said. He bent down and kissed Sarah, not waiting before he deepened the kiss. Sarah gasped and kissed him back. When they parted, they were both smiling. Dean pulled up to the house in the Impala with the biggest grin on his face.
"Knew I'd find you here, come on, Sammy! She's not going anywhere, right Sarah?" Dean winked. Sarah laughed and kissed Sam one last time before Sam went to get in the Impala.
Life without the Winchesters isn't very interesting. It was almost like a piece of our universe was missing, like they were the sun and we were the planets orbiting them. We wouldn't admit that to them, of course, because Dean's ego was already big enough to cause global warming and Sam would blush and laugh it off, making it a joke.
The Winchesters took a little bit of extra time on the road. They called every day, or every other day, depending on if they had cell phone reception. Instead of two weeks, they headed back were gone for two weeks. They were about twelve hours away from our little town when Tracey started going into labor- and these weren't the Braxton-Hicks contractions. This was the real deal.
And for those of you who don't get it…
TRACEY AND ANDY WERE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!
The gang was at Chuck's house. Sarah and Tracey were on the couch. Andy was on the arm of the couch, hands on Tracey's shoulders. Becky, who Sarah and Tracey had pushed Chuck to ask out, was sitting next to Chuck on the loveseat. Chuck was at least ten kinds of red. Castiel was shifting uncomfortably from Becky's questions about him and Dean, much to everyone else's humor. Gabriel "helpfully" filled in for Castiel when it looked like Castiel wasn't going to answer.
"Tracey, are you alright?" Castiel asked. "You look uncomfortable…"
"I… I think my water broke," she swallowed.
"What?" Andy demanded. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I just did!" she shouted.
"We need to get you to the hospital," Andy said.
"It's closed today," she cried. "The doctor is going to visit his family out of town."
"Oh my god! She's about to have a baby in my living room!" Chuck shouted.
"Not the time, Chuck!" Sarah said. "Cas! Castiel!" Castiel looked at her with wide, doe eyes. "You've delivered a baby before, right? Tell us what to do!" Castiel looked around. Sarah grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly, waiting for him to come to his senses. Gabriel got tired of waiting and slapped him, knocking Castiel out of his trance.
"Chuck, need towels. Becky, find me a pair of sharp scissors. Sarah I get water! Go! Now!" Castiel barked his orders out. "Andy, help me get her feet on the couch, we're doing this here! Gabriel, call Sam and Dean while you're getting the water and let the Winchesters know Tracey's in labor. Becky, see if you can find the doctor before he leaves."
"We're almost home," Sam said.
"Yeah," Dean said. "Gonna miss the open road."
"I think Cas will be more than enough to keep you occupied," Sam snorted. Dean hit him but didn't deny it.
"Hey, so I saw the bathroom initials," Sam said.
"They've been there for almost a decade, Sam," Dean rolled his eyes.
"They're different now," Sam said.
"What're you talking about?" Dean frowned, looking at Sam.
"They say C.N. & D.W. forever," Sam said. "Forever spelled out and everything." The corner of Dean's mouth tilted into a smile.
"Cas, man. Can't ever just take the short way," Dean said. Sam's phone began ringing.
"Hey, Gabe. What's up? Yeah, we're on our way back now, we're about twelve hours out. Why? What? Shit. Is she okay? Okay, I'll tell Dean to step on it. Keep me posted," Sam said, hanging up. Dean raised an eyebrow in Sam's direction. "Tracey's in labor. The doctor's not in town. Cas is helping deliver the baby." Dean pushed hard on the accelerator, speeding up to eighty miles.
"Chuck, give me the towel!" Castiel ordered. "Come on, Tracey, push, you're almost there!" Andy looked like he was about to pass out as his wife held his hand, pushing hard. Sarah held her other hand, also keeping a hand on Castiel. Chuck stood to the side, passing Castiel supplies when he ordered them. Becky sometimes switched out with Chuck. When she came back to say the doctor had already left town, Chuck had fainted.
"One more!" Castiel said.
"Come on, baby, push!" Andy begged.
"You- you push!" Tracey screamed in frustration, pushing one last time. The baby came out and Sarah cut the umbilical cord.
"Congratulations, it's a girl," Castiel breathed slouching backwards as he spanked the baby's bottom. She started crying and Castiel accepted Chuck's hand up so they could clean off the baby before handing her to Tracey. They heard the screech of the Impala and the slamming of doors. The Winchesters rushed in the house.
"Did we miss it?" Sam demanded.
"Everyone okay?" Dean demanded.
"You missed it by two minutes and everyone is fine," Castiel reported. Sam made his way over to Andy and Tracey's side, looking at the baby girl. Dean made his way over to Castiel and helped him sit up.
"You look like shit," Dean said. Castiel snorted and gave Dean a tired but amused look.
"Now what are you going to tell me on our date?" Castiel asked.
"She's beautiful," Sarah breathed. "What're you going to name her?"
"I knew we forgot something!" Andy cursed and the group laughed.
"We thought she was going to be a boy," Tracey said. "We had boy names picked out."
"I told you we shouldn't have listened to Balthazar," Andy said but there was no real bite as he stared at his baby girl. "Hi, sweetheart, I'm your daddy…"
"Well don't name her after some modern movie star chick," Dean said. "We don't need any more of those."
"So we should name her Deana?" Tracey teased. Dean looked slightly horrified at the idea. He rolled his eyes and helped Castiel roll the gloves that he had been using off, tossing them in the trashcan.
"You can name her Gabriella," Gabriel smirked.
"What did I say about modern movie star chick names?" Dean asked.
"What about Grace?" Castiel asked tiredly.
"Why Grace?" Tracey asked.
"Because Chuck was the only one to faint and he did so rather gracefully," Castiel said dryly and then he turned warm eyes to the baby. "And, this delivery happened a lot more gracefully than the last one."
"I like it," Tracey said, looking at Andy. "Do you like it?"
"I like it," Andy grinned. "Grace it is." Dean grinned and titled Castiel's face so they could see each other as everyone's attention was on the baby and the new family.
"You were brave," Dean whispered.
"I did what I had to do," Castiel whispered back. The corner of Dean's mouth tilted upwards and he kissed Castiel.
"Guys, come on!" Gabriel whined. "Chuck already fainted once! He doesn't need to faint again! Get your tongues out of each other's mouths!"
And everything was fixed. Dean had his Cas again. Tracey and Andy had Grace and we were all named godparents. She was really little- a premature baby but she had her father's brown eyes and his curly mop of hair but it was more of a dirty blonde, rather than Andy's brown, and her mother's nose. That was definitely her mother's nose. Her brown eyes were very aware and she was really adorable. Sarah and Sam started dating regularly, just the two of them. Jake began taking the straight and narrow path and even began spending time with us- not too much time, because Dean still didn't like him, but it was time spent nonetheless. Becky and I started going steady. She was ecstatic when she found out that I'm the writer of Supernatural. Gabriel began dating Kali, from the wedding. Gabriel really likes getting his ass handed to him. Balthazar made his way back from time to time, bringing back even more crazy stories.
This story is called 'Untitled' because no other title would fit. What word could sum up this story? None of them. If you can think of a word, please tell me but I have found none that work better than 'Untitled.' And this story isn't by Carver Edlund. It's by Chuck. Carver Edlund can stick to the supernatural. Well, that and Dean might kill me if I actually published this.
Oh, I said everything was fixed, didn't I? Well, there was one thing Castiel and Dean had left unfinished.
After their movie date, Dean and Castiel were holding hands as they walked back to the Impala, which was parked in front of the gazebo. Castiel led Dean into the gazebo and tilted his face up expectantly. Dean grinned and bent down, pressing his lips to Castiel's gently. Castiel raised his hands to Dean's army jacket and took a hold of them and before Dean knew what was happening, he fell backwards into the mud, looking upwards in complete shock at a smirking Castiel as the younger man walked down the steps and held his hand out for Dean to take.
"I've been waiting years to do that," Castiel grinned, pulling Dean back up and kissing him again- properly.