Title: First Time
Warnings/Triggers: None this time. :) Well, I mean, there's sex, but I figured that was implied with rating. Also, un-beta'd.
Word Count: 2,607
Summary: Julian wholly believes him. Because Logan Wright is nothing if not a man of his word.
Author's notes: I was bored. I wanted to write smut. It isn't amazing smut, but there you go. It turned slightly emotional because that's how I roll . I'm working on the next chapter of Once Lost, and it's actually coming along rather nicely. My life's been extra busy with graduation and whatnot coming up, so I haven't been able to work on my fanfics—or writing of any recreational writing—for a while. Hopefully, I'll be able to post it soon, but I will not make any promises. Same as always, alert me to any grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes. Enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: The work which I base my fanfiction is a fanfic from Glee, and I don't own that. Nor do I own Julian or Logan. Or any other characters mentioned. They belong to the wonderful Miss CP Coulter, author of Dalton.
To be quite frank, Julian Larson isn't a big fan of anal sex. Sure, it's great, when you're the one fucking, but getting fucked is a whole lot of hurt Julian can do without. It doesn't help that he's only bottomed a few times, none of them very pleasant. Any other time he's had sex with a guy, he's been on top, but the problem with that is how much patience you have to have when prepping, otherwise, he knows for a fact, it hurts like a fucking bitch. Julian's not a patient person when he's ridiculously horny.
He's also apparently not a very well-thought out one either, he thinks as Logan begins lubing up his fingers. What on Earth possessed him to pull Logan down, press his lips against his ear, and whisper, "Fuck me," he's not entirely sure—it's a tossup between the breathy moan of Julian's name Logan had made a few moments prior or how he growled when Julian rubbed against him—but he really needs to stop making decisions like this when his brain isn't functioning properly.
"Ready?" Logan asks, the pads of his fingers brushing lightly against Julian's entrance. The lube isn't cold like his times before, which means Logan's probably warmed it between his fingers. Julian wouldn't know; he was too busying kicking himself in the face.
"Yeah," Julian says and spreads his legs just a little bit more for Logan. "Go ahead." With any luck, once Logan is inside Julian he'll be so wrapped up in how good it feels for him that he won't pay the look on Julian's face any mind. Of course, Julian's an actor and can fake it if the situation arises.
Logan smiles a warm smile, not that smug smirk or that stupid grin he wears when he's right about something, or even just when Julian's wrong, but a real, genuine smile that tells Julian if he really wants to stop, all he has to do is ask.
But Julian doesn't ask. Instead, he forces a smile back and takes in a deep, deep breath to help relax his muscles. He may have only done this a few times, but he knows how it works, and if he doesn't relax, it isn't going to be pretty. He feels guilty for thinking that Logan will be like those other guys who were barely concerned with how Julian was feeling, but it always, always, always happens. At least from what he, and the few people he's been comfortable enough to talk to about this kind of stuff, has experienced.
Logan, however, proves him entirely wrong. He doesn't just roughly force his fingers into Julian; he's very meticulous about it, pressing in one, then a second before scissoring them gently. He explores Julian's body, tedious and thorough, adding a third finger in an almost reverent manner only after he's felt that Julian's been stretched enough for it, not as though he's about to fuck Julian through the mattress.
Logan watches his face the whole time, looking for any kind of reaction, and Julian's just about to start pretending (because Logan's trying so hard to make him feel good, and Julian doesn't want to let him down) when Logan crooks his fingers in just the right way, and Julian doesn't know what Logan hit, but—but—
"Oh," Julian groans and, for the first time, actually pushes down against the fingers working inside him. "That—that—Logan—"
"I take it I found your prostate?" Logan smirks. That's what he hit.
"Do that again, Lo," Julian begs, trying and failing to impale himself at just the right angle. Logan nods his head and hooks his fingers like before, making stars dance across Julian's vision.
"Fuck!" Julian howls. "Logan, fuck me now." Where the hell that came from, Julian has no idea, but right now, he doesn't care. If it gets him more of whatever this is, it's so worth it.
"What do you say?" A quick twist, and Julian nearly screams.
"Please! Please, Logan, I just—please."
Logan chuckles darkly, but doesn't say anything else as he pulling his fingers out of Julian and wipes the excess lube on the sheets. He leans over to the side dresser and opens the middle drawer, fully aware of Julian's lust-blown eyes following him the entire time. He pulls out a familiar-looking square package, and Julian's glad Logan remembered a condom, because he sure as hell wouldn't have.
The condom slides on easily, and Julian's never been more appreciative of the fact that it comes with extra lube. Because Logan is big. Like, bigger than any of the other guys Julian's been with, and if his cock is really going to fit into Julian without completely ripping him in half, it's definitely going to need a little help.
Logan lines himself up, nudging at Julian slightly to bring him back to reality.
"I'll go slowly, okay?" Logan says. Julian nods, pulling his knees to his chest.
Julian mashes his eyes shut in anticipation, and fuck, he should have stopped while he was ahead, because it's going to hurt, just like every time before.
Logan does exactly as he says, pushing in at a steady pace until he's in as far as he can go. It still burns, but not as much as any of the other times, but still a lot. If Logan hadn't prepped him so well, this probably would have been a disaster.
Logan watches him with a very hesitant expression.
"Have you ever done this before, Jules?"
"A couple of times, yeah," Julian says. "It just—it still takes a while to get used to it."
"Tell me when you're ready," Logan tells him. "I'll wait as long as you need me to." He kisses Julian softly, and Julian just kisses back, trying to forget the ache and everything else but Logan's lips. He loves how when he and Logan kiss it's like some sort of drug rushes through his veins, and all he can think about it getting more.
The pain ebbs away bit by bit. Julian experiments a little, wiggling his hips to see if the stinging comes back, making Logan gasp, and it does, just slightly. But mostly the only thing Julian's aware of is how full he feels and how Logan's completely occupying all of his senses. Everything that isn't Logan's skin covering his entire body, his pale green eyes boring into Julian's, the small groans falling off his lips, his taste on Julian's tongue, and his scent, musky and heavy, fogging Julian's brain is completely irrelevant.
It's definitely not like all those other times, with those boys whose names he either doesn't know or all blur together, who barely even wanted to look at him while they fucked him.
"Move," Julian whispers. "I—I'm ready."
"You sure?" Logan asks. "I'm not in any rush." But the strain in his voice says otherwise; Logan is desperate to start moving that it's almost painful, and Julian won't deny him any longer.
"Go ahead," Julian says. Logan presses another kiss to Julian's lips and pulls back, slowly and deliberately, so Julian can feel every inch of him sliding out.
"I'm not breakable, Logan," Julian shakily laughs as Logan pushes back in at the same agonizingly slow pace. "You can be a little rougher." He knows it probably won't feel better, may it'll even start to hurt, but he also knows Logan's just itching to go harder, go faster. It might hurt, but it'll feel good for Logan, right?
Logan complies, going faster but not completely pounding into Julian, but setting a smooth, rhythmic pace that actually feels…not good, but it's not exactly bad either.
"Okay?" Logan whispers against his ear.
"Yeah, fine," Julian says. He keeps shifting, trying to get Logan's cock to hit that spot, but it's totally not working. Logan sees what Julian's trying to do and does it for him, sliding his hands behind Julian's back and forcing him to arch up while Logan angles his next thrust . It hits just the right spot, causing tendrils of pleasure to course throughout Julian's body, and Julian whimpers in a way he's not entirely proud of.
"Did I do something wrong?" Logan asks, almost stilling inside Julian.
"If you stop now, I swear, I'm going to die," Julian groans, tilting his hips more. Logan smirks and pushes forward again, faster this time, and Julian's completely grateful for it because it just amplifies everything, the pull of Logan's cock, how good it feels pressed so deep inside of him. "Oh, God, Logan…" His voice trails off and the only sounds that begin falling from his lips are incoherent gasps and moans. Logan groans loudly as Julian's fingernails dig into his back, hard enough to leave scratches.
There are no dirty words exchanged between them. No swearing, no derogatory names. Which makes this that much better for Julian, since the last time he bottomed the guy was obsessed with saying things like, "You like that, you dirty fucking whore, don't you? You like it when I fuck you like this," a statement refuted by the fact that Julian mostly just laid there, line of vision focused on the wall and his mind somewhere else. On someone else, actually. The someone who just happens to be pulling him close and kissing his neck.
"Julian," Logan pants. "I'm close—so close."
"Me too," Julian says back, finally remembering his own cock pressed against the slick skin of Logan's stomach. "Lo—I—can you—" Logan seems to get what Julian's trying to say and slips a hand between them, fingers delicately wrapping around Julian and pumping him in time with his thrusts. Combined with how Logan keeps hitting his prostate dead on each time he pushes in finally sends Julian over the edge, spiraling down into the most intense orgasm he's ever had. He comes so hard he actually blacks out for a few seconds, maybe longer, only just fading back in. Everything is blurry and just barely there, until he snaps suddenly back to reality when something cool is pressed against his forehead.
"Huh?" he murmurs, head turning to the side. Logan leans down over him with a wet washcloth clutched tightly in his hand. "What're you doing?" he almost slurs.
"Cleaning you off," Logan laughs and takes moves the washcloth to Julian's stomach. "Call me old-fashioned, but I'd feel like an ass if I just let you lie here covered in come."
"Oh. You don't have to; I can clean myself off—"
"Julian, you look like you're like two seconds away from keeling over. In fact, I think I did actually lose you there for a little bit." Logan's stupid smirk drives Julian nuts, but he's too tired to come up with anything witty or snarky. "I mean, I knew I was good at sex, Jules, but way to stroke a guy's ego by passing out. Was it just me, or are you really that responsive?"
"Shut up," Julian mutters, reaching to take the washcloth away from Logan and immediately regretting when pain shoots through his lower back and body. He winces, and Logan's face falls slightly. Before Logan can apologize or whatever, Julian adds, "And, though I think it's a bad idea since you've already got a big enough ego, it was you. I…it's never felt that good before."
"Really?" Logan asks. "I would have figured that you would've had enough sexcapades to rival Derek."
"Are you accusing me of being a slut?" Julian inquires with a serious expression. He breaks character immediately when Logan gives him that, "Don't bullshit me, Larson," look, quirking an eyebrow in a totally dorky manner. Juliangrins and set up to kiss Logan.
"I'm not saying you're a slut," Logan says. "I'm simply stating that I know you, and you're not that innocent."
"I'll have you know, I've only bottomed four times. Well, five now."
"Yeah. To be honest, I really don't like it. Didn't like it," he amends after seeing Logan's confused expression.
"How bad were they?"
"Pretty bad. I mean, I wasn't expecting much my first time since it happened at some low-key dive bar with some drunken frat boy who couldn't even call me by the right name, but it hasn't gotten any better."
"The guy must've been a jerk. I hope he felt like an ass the next time he saw you."
Julian looks down. "I…I never saw him again. I don't even remember his name."
"You don't remember the name of the guy who took your virginity?" Logan asks incredulously.
"Nope," Julian laughs tensely. "Like I said, he wasn't that good anyway. I wasn't planning on going back for a repeat performance." Logan gets quiet then, staring at Julian with an unreadable expression.
"Do you remember any of the other guys?"
"Yeah," Julian says. "I knew them, actually. Two of them had been extras in a movie I was doing. I think they were mostly bad because they didn't want to think about how they were fucking a guy. Not completely out of the closet, you know? Not that I really have any room to talk." Julian pauses for a moment, contemplating whether to say what he's thinking or not, before adding, "I see them from time to time. Still not out, and they pretend like nothing ever happened, but it could be worse. Hell, it has been worse."
"How?" Logan asks. Julian opens his mouth to explain the last guy—how he hadn't even wanted to use a condom and if Julian hadn't pitched a fit he probably wouldn't have, and to top it off he left Julian to pay for the motel room—when Logan groans and says, "Don't. Please don't." Julian feels like a completely idiot now because, really, what made him think Logan would want to hear all his failed sexual experiences? Honestly?
"I'm sorry," Julian says after a long silence. "You probably didn't want to know all that."
"That's not it, Jules," Logan tells him. "It's just…if you keep talking about these guys, I'm eventually going to get pissed enough that I'll make you tell me their names, and then someone is going to get hurt."
"It's not a big deal, Logan," Julian says.
"It's a big deal to me. They treated you like shit. I mean, I know I haven't always been the greatest to you, but I would never, ever do anything like that.
"It's just sex," Julian murmurs with his head tilted away from Logan. "It doesn't mean anything."
"You've obviously never been with the right person," Logan whispers thickly, pressing his lips against Julian's ear and nibbling lightly. Julian shudders and turns his head back. His nose brushes against Logan's and for a second, they simply look at each other. Julian almost forgets how much fire and passion Logan's eyes have when he's not on his medication, how the emotions playing behind his eyes amplify just how gorgeous he is. It makes his heart skip to know that all the things Logan's feeling right now are because of Julian. Even the anger, though it's not as prominent as the love and adoration, is because of Julian—because Logan is angry that anyone would be so callous with Julian.
Logan captures his lips in a gentle kiss, nipping at his bottom one and tugging softly.
"I'm going to show that it's not 'just sex.' It's never going to be 'just sex.' Not anymore. Not with me," Logan says, and Julian wholly believes him. Because Logan Wright is nothing if not a man of his word.