Just some random thoughts in my head that made me laugh. Here they are in word form.
Kurt and Blaine text constantly, obviously, but sometimes their conversations are really weird. For example, one day Blaine got a new phone, and with it a new phone number. The following conversation ensued:
Kurt: Is this your new number?
Blaine: No. I gave you the number of a large black man that is going to kidnap you and take you to Zimbabwe. I don't know where that is, but that would be weird, so that's going to happen.
Kurt: It's definitely in Africa…
Blaine: That makes sense… whoops. Imma dummy :) I want chicken.
Kurt: Okay? Congrats… haha How am I supposed to respond to that? What is the socially acceptable way to respond to a statement such as that? Because I would certainly like to know.
Blaine: You are supposed to feel bad for my lack of chicken.
Kurt: Okay. Blaine, I am so very sorry for your lack of chicken. I wish many chickens upon you right this second.
Blaine: My room is now full of poultry, you silly boy. :)
Kurt: Well, you had to have your precious chicken!
Blaine: Now there is an abundance! I need to dispose of them.
Kurt: I hope you eat them all, because we wouldn't want you wasting good chicken, now would we?
Blaine: There are 37275826538362. I cannot eat them all.
Kurt: Then what shall you do?
Blaine: So. Much. Chicken. I am now setting my room on fire to roast them.
Kurt: Don't let the house burn down, and remember to stop, drop and roll if you catch on fire!
Blaine: I'm already on fire… look at what you've done! :(
Kurt: I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention. :(
Blaine: Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.
Kurt: Okay, you got me. That was my plan from the start. This is was all part of an elaborate ruse to catch you on fire.
Blaine: … as if my life couldn't get any worse. Now I am in flames and feel like I'm going to die.
Kurt: NOOOO! You're not going to die. I will save you.
Blaine: hahaha Yeah right. That's not going to work.
Kurt: :/ I will still try to save you.
Blaine: Well, thank you!
Kurt: :) No need to thank me- I'm a superhero. It's what I do.
Blaine: haha Oh jeez.
Kurt: My cape is quite impressive. :D
Blaine: No way!
Kurt: Yeah. I got it at Walmart.
Blaine: Liar. You don't shop at Walmart.
Kurt: Fine. I got it at CVS. Just don't tell anyone, okay? Nobody is supposed to know that that's where all the superhero gear is…
Blaine: You are such a wood nymph.
Kurt: What did you just say, hobbit?
Blaine: Ouch, go for the height why don't you?
Kurt: It's not my fault you're short!
Blaine: But I fit perfectly in your arms. :)
Kurt: … true fact. But that's soooo not the point. The point is that you are a hobbit and I am not a wood nymph.
Blaine: If I'm a hobbit, then you are definitely a wood nymph. They're magical and beautiful and graceful.
Kurt: Fine. If I'm going to be a nymph, though, then I'm going to be a snow nymph. So there. :P
Blaine: Fine with me. :)
Kurt: I love you, short stuff.
Blaine: I love you too, beautiful.
Kurt: I think I just got a cavity.
Blaine: Shut up.
Kurt: I'm not technically saying anything!
Blaine: Well, then stop texting!
Blaine: Ummm… Kurt?
Blaine: Baby, I was kidding.
Kurt: I am not a wood nymph.
Blaine: Fine. But I'm not a hobbit.
Kurt: Yes you are, so get over it.
Blaine: I want chicken.