Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR.
A/N: Italics is Harry's POV; normal text is Ron's.
Ron tried to open his eyes but groaned at the bright sunlight.
Ron groaned again and briefly pondered how his lovely wife could be so bloody cheerful first thing in the morning. He knew she'd been just as drunk as everyone else last night. If she hadn't been, someone must have been Polyjuiced as her; a sober Hermione did not dance on table tops with her blouse undone.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Hermione huffed, and Ron felt a glass phial being pressed into his hand. "Drink this; I need you up and about in ten minutes."
Uncapping the potion and downing it in one gulp, Ron opened his eyes fully and smiled. That stuff—whatever it was—was brilliant! He sighed as the lethargy instantly left his body and smiled at his saviour.
"Thanks," he said happily. "What was—?"
"You can thank Draco when we see him this afternoon. He brought them with him last night. Now, come on. Get up. We have work to do." Hermione tied her hair back and left the room.
Ron quickly dressed and went in search of Hermione.
"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed on finding her.
"I know. This is why I needed your help," Hermione said, motioning to the absolute pigsty that used to be their living room. "Did we have a party or an invasion?"
Ron and Hermione's anniversary party was dull. There was no other word for it really. It was still early though, maybe it would pick up. Harry hoped to Merlin that it did. After last year's Scrabble débâcle, Harry didn't think he could persuade Draco to attend another one. It had taken three spectacular (even if he did say so himself) blow jobs and a promise of that-thing-Draco-liked when they got home to get the man to come with him.
Looking out at the crowd, Harry spotted the man in question and smiled. It didn't matter where they went, or who they were with, Draco always managed to find someone to talk to. Or talk at. Whatever. Tonight's poor victims were a slightly trembling Neville Longbottom and a bored looking Ginny Weasley. Merlin only knew what Draco was talking about. It could be anything from the state of the wizarding world, to the healing properties of the Flobberworm. Whatever it was, Harry decided to save his friends before his boyfriend did any lasting damage.
"Harry!" Draco called when Harry got closer. "I was just telling Ginerva and Neville about the Treaty for Proper—"
Harry cut Draco off with a passionate kiss. Ginny shot Harry a grateful smile, grabbed Neville's hand and escaped before Draco could get his breath back.
"What was that for?" Draco asked when he finally did.
"Missed you," Harry said with one of his 'puppy dog smiles'. "Let's get a drink."
"No need." Draco smirked, gesturing to the punch bowl beside him.
"What are you? Twelve?" Harry laughed and poured himself and Draco some of the lurid orange drink.
Draco smiled innocently. "What? I made sure to bring some of my magic potion for everybody to take home."
Harry raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and took a sip of his drink.
"Ron and Hermione are a lovely couple and we're here to celebrate their continued union. They deserve a good party," Draco said with a completely straight face.
"More like you couldn't stand a repeat of last year." Harry laughed and drank some more. "What is in this? It's very tasty."
"A bit of this, a bit of that. And more than a bit of Firewhisky." Draco took a sip of his own drink and nodded. "Yes, it is quite nice."
Harry looked around the room and noticed nearly everybody had a glass of the punch. A thought crossed his mind. "Did you at least warn people?" he asked Draco, fearful of the answer.
Draco smiled, not so innocently. "Now, where's the fun in that?"
"This is going to take forever!" Ron moaned.
He reached for his wand only to feel it flying out of his hand.
"No, Ronald!" Hermione cried, pocketing his wand. "Do you remember the last time you tried to Accio all the glasses? Or when you thought it'd be a bright idea to simply Vanish the mess?"
Ron blushed and hung his head, refusing to look Hermione in the eyes.
"I will not buy anymore furniture! We will clean up the proper way. By hand." She finished her moan by handing Ron a black plastic bag and a broom. "The sooner we finish, the sooner we can have something to eat. I'll start on the kitchen."
She stormed out of the room and Ron slumped onto the sofa.
"Ow!" he cried, jumping back to his feet and picking up the fork that had just stabbed him in the arse. "What the fuck?" he said, wondering what the hell the garden fork was doing on his favourite seat. Deciding that he just didn't want to know, Ron placed it by the door and started picking up the empty glasses.
The smell of alcohol hit his nostrils and Ron gagged. Draco's potion was good, but it obviously wasn't that good. Ron decided he was never drinking again. Until the next time, of course.
He piled all the glasses on the table and grimaced when his bare foot landed in something wet and sticky. Looking down, Ron shuddered. He was not cleaning the pool of orange goo up by hand. Picking the glasses back up, Ron rolled his eyes at the footprints on the lacquered table top and went in search of his wand.
"Harry! Quick!" Harry spun around on hearing Draco's cry. "Hermione's giving us a show!"
Harry groaned and turned towards the centre of the room. Sure enough, there was his usually calm and ladylike best friend, writhing on top of the coffee table, bra on show. Music was blaring from the wireless and the small crowd clapped and cheered as Ron gallantly tried his best to preserve his wife's dignity.
"Come on, love," Ron pleaded with Hermione. "You'll regret this in the morning. Come down off there and have a dance with me."
"Come on, Ron," Hermione slurred. "Join me."
Harry laughed at their antics and wrapped his arms around Draco. "Having fun?" he whispered into Draco's ear.
"Yes, it's not a bad night," Draco answered, "but I'll be having much more fun when your cock is firmly embedded in my arse."
Merlin, Harry loved a drunken Draco. A couple of beers, and he was constantly kissing Harry. A couple of shots and he had his hands roaming everywhere he could reach. Half a bowl of spiked punch and Draco would willingly down his trousers and fuck him right there. Who needed an Inhibition Lowering Potion when you had several bowls of who-knows-what ready for consumption?
Swallowing, Harry stilled Draco's wandering hands. "Later," he promised, giving Draco's arse a squeeze before moving to help Hermione down off the table before she stripped completely.
"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed upon entering the kitchen and finding Hermione hastily stashing her wand out of sight.
"It's completely different, Ron," Hermione said, although the bright red flush on her cheeks told Ron she didn't actually believe it. "I wasn't about to Vanish our entire living room."
"It was once, five years ago!" Ron retorted. "When will you let it go?"
Ron put the empty glasses in the sink and, under the pretence of giving Hermione a hug, snagged his wand from her pocket. "I have a stain to clean up that I am not cleaning manually."
"I'll finish these and get started on some lunch," she promised, gesturing to the overflowing sink.
Ron's stomach growled in appreciation.
"When you've finished the living room, will you get washed and dressed properly, please," she pleaded as Ron left the room. "Harry and Draco will be here at one."
Ron walked off, muttering under his breath about inconsiderate friends who left parties early just to fuck their boyfriends. Ron had searched high and low for Harry last night, but hadn't been able to find him anywhere. Ron remembered Harry helping him coax Hermione off the table and into bed, but he hadn't seen him since.
"Bloody bastard could've at least helped with the clean up!" Ron muttered louder when he went back into the living room and noticed how much work was left to do.
"You alright now, mate?" Harry asked as he helped Ron carry a passed out Hermione into her bedroom.
"Yeah," Ron replied. "I'll just make sure she's settled and I'll be right down."
Harry nodded and started to walk back down the stairs. "What the fuck?" he exclaimed as he was unceremoniously grabbed and dragged into the bathroom.
"Shush!" Draco chuckled before wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and kissing him soundly. "We don't want anyone coming in to see what the ruckus is about."
"Draco?" Harry asked breathlessly. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I was downstairs, and I felt a little horny," he began.
Harry raised his eyebrows. If the way Draco's hands were roaming over his lower back and his arse was any indication, Draco was a lot horny.
"I was horny," Draco repeated. "So I thought I'd come and find you, so you can do something about it."
"Well, Hermione's passed out, so I think we can go home," Harry said with a wink.
"Nuh-huh." Draco moved his hands to the front of Harry's trousers and undid the button. "You're going to fuck me right here. Right now."
Harry gasped as Draco's hand worked its way into his boxers and closed around his cock.
"Draco, no," Harry said firmly as his body betrayed him and moved closer, pushing Draco against the sink unit.
"Harry, yes." Draco smiled and undid his own trousers, shifting his hips until they fell to the floor.
Harry had never been more grateful for Hermione's no-shoes policy as he was when two small kicks had Draco's lower body completely free of clothing. Draco casually leant back against the unit and Harry growled at the sight. Draco's cock was mouth-watering; Harry needed to taste it.
"Fuck," Harry muttered as he slid to his knees and found himself within licking distance. "I'll never get tired off this."
"Less worshipping, more sucking," Draco cheekily replied, wiggling his hips so that his cock bounced in front of Harry's face.
Harry grabbed Draco's hips and held him against the unit, before running his tongue the full length of Draco's cock. Harry released one of Draco's hips so he could wrap his hand around the base, and sucked. Harry knew he was good at this, and Draco's insistence on his fourth blow job of the day had only cemented the fact.
"Fuck, Harry! Stop!" Draco panted. "I want to come with you inside me, please."
Harry grudgingly stopped and looked up into Draco's eyes. "Turn around," he growled.
Draco groaned and did as he was asked. Harry couldn't decide what he liked the taste of more: Draco's cock, his mouth, or his arse. He decided he needed more study, so he pulled Draco's cheeks apart and placed his tongue flat over Draco's hole. Hearing Draco's mumbled 'fuck' of appreciation, Harry continued in earnest, teasing the tight hole with licks before pushing his tongue past the tight ring of muscles.
Harry pulled his face away and moaned in ecstasy. "Lube?" he asked, feeling the rampant urge to be deep inside Draco.
Harry heard fumbling before a bottle was pressed into his hand.
"It'll have to do," Draco breathlessly chuckled.
Flipping the lid, Harry coated his fingers and slowly pushed, at first one, then two into the glistening hole. Draco arched his back, forcing Harry's fingers deeper inside. Harry groaned at the sensation and set about bringing Draco to the brink once more. Draco's breath grew laboured and Harry knew he wouldn't last long.
"Turn around," Harry growled again, sliding his slick hand out from between Draco's cheeks. "I want to see your face when you come."
Draco moaned at the loss and quickly obeyed. He wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and Harry lifted him up onto the unit by his arse. Harry hissed as he slid his oily hand over his own cock, and both men cried out together as Harry slid it into Draco's pulsing hole.
Harry fleetingly thought about casting a Silencing Charm before Draco moved and Harry thought no more. The loud music from downstairs pounded in his ears and Harry found himself thrusting into Draco with the beat.
Harry knew he wouldn't last long. The sensation of Draco riding him, coupled with the fact that anybody could walk into the bathroom and catch them at it, had Harry reaching for Draco's neglected cock and pulling in time with his thrusts.
Draco screamed out as he came; the sound of which wrenched Harry's own orgasm from him. Harry rested his head on Draco's chest as he caught his breath. The feeling of Draco's heart pounding and the pulsing of his arse around Harry's cock was becoming too much, and he slowly slid out before helping Draco down from the unit.
Draco simply stood against the unit with a smile on his face and his trousers in his hand.
Harry waved his wand over the both of them, cleaning them up before redressing. "Are you planning on walking out like that?" Harry asked Draco.
"No," Draco laughed. "You are going to go down and get our shoes, and I plan on Apparating out of here like this."
Harry rolled his eyes, gave Draco a quick kiss and ran down the stairs.
Ron sighed in relief as he finally finished picking up the last of the paper plates. The living room now looked like a living room again. He had put the furniture back where it belonged, thrown all the rubbish into a bag (which he was sure Hermione would now allow him to Vanish) and had cleaned the pile of orange goo of the floor.
Dusting his hands off, Ron called out to Hermione, "I'm just going to get ready."
"Don't be long," she called back. "I want to take a quick shower before they turn up."
Ron trudged upstairs to the bathroom and threw open the door. He was relieved to see that no party goers had managed to make a mess in at least one room of the house; he'd have enough of cleaning for one day.
Ron threw his dirty clothes into the washing basket and reached for his toothbrush. As he brushed he examined his face in the mirror. He was surprised to note that his eyes weren't bloodshot and he had a healthy colour. He vowed to wrangle some more of that potion out of Draco when he saw him. Ron idly wondered how long Harry and Draco would stay today, and if they'd end up staying to listen to the match.
Ron rinsed his mouth, washed his face and wiped away, what he assumed to be, a blob of Hermione's hair stuff off the counter. Feeling rather accomplished, Ron went into the bedroom and finished getting ready for lunch. He heard Hermione going into the bathroom and the shower running. As he walked down the stairs, he was startled by Hermione shouting at him.
"Ron! Did you use the last of my conditioner?"