Right, I wrote this fanfic largely because I AM A RANDOMER! Also because I wanted to see what it would be like if not ALL the Martians were homicidal killers. I took a few bits from a series of books I read called The Barsoom Omnibus which you should read NOW.

T'sellb, Private of the 5th Tripod Squad of the city of Zodanga, looked out onto the red Martian Landscape.

Things were getting worse. Even a fool could see that. And T'sellb was definitely no fool.

"T'sellb! There you are!"

Turning, T'sellb smiled. Or as close to a smile as a lizard could get.

"Greetings, Sergeant S'korna."

"Come now, T'sellb! How long have we been friends?"

"40 years, three-hundred days, five zodes, forty-five xats and one hundred and forty -no, one hundred and forty one tals. And counting," T'sellb added "Unless you have some really bad news for me."

S'korna laughed "Good old T'sellb! Always the mathematician!"

"The News?"

"The Jeddak has ordered us to invade-"

"We've tried that!" T'sellb interrupted "It won't work! There's not enough resources on Mars! Even in Helium they're struggling!"


T'sellb stopped his rant. "What?"

"T'sellb... We are going to invade Earth."

For those of you who haven't got a copy of The God's of Mars or A Princess of Mars yet, Let me just bring up a few points:

"the Jeddak" is the Martian version of a king. "Jed's" are lords.

a "year" in Martian time is six hundred and eighty seven days. A Martian day is 24 hours 37 minutes, which they split into tenths. These are "Zodes" Zodes are later split up into 50 "Xats" which are split into 200 "Tals", which is about 1 second of our time