Disclaimer: I do not own Private Practice or the characters within, they are creations of Shonda Rhimes and I am simply borrowing them for my own entertainment.
Author's Notes: This is what happens when you go through every Violet/Pete scene (and outtakes from scenes) in chronological order. And seeing Pete show up at Violet's door step at the end of 1x07 and then see them show up at the office together in 1x08, well, my imagination took over...
This is definitely not a one-shot, my mind stretches way beyond that, so hold on for an AU alternative to tide you over this summer while we all hold hands and hope Shonda fixes the mess next season. I don't expect to like the upcoming finale...
As always many thanks to my beta, Mediatorsk. And to the rest of you I say enjoy (and review, please).
After Cooper leaves, it takes Violet a while to recover from what in her mind has to be the most humiliating rejection known to man. As if it wasn't awkward enough undressing in front of her best friend, he had to make things worse by turning down her completely naked body. Damnit, she has good parts. And this is Cooper, he jumps into the sack all the time with women he doesn't even know, women who later on rob him blind with him handcuffed to the bed, leaving it to Violet to come to his rescue. And he actually turns her down?
Humiliated and sexually frustrated, Violet steps into the shower, letting the steady stream of hot water wash over her body, willing herself to forget how many months it's been since she last had a man in her bed. It's too humiliating that there hasn't been anyone since Alan, since she was dumped out of the blue after a nearly three year long relationship only to meet him with his new barely-out-of -diapers wife just six months later. She felt pathetic standing next to young, perky and perfectly made up Cami, wearing her casual jeans and hoodie, no make-up, hair thrown up in a messy bun and glasses instead of her usual contacts; a look that only makes it past her front door when she has a quick errand or two. She never felt as undesirable as in that moment, topped only, perhaps, by tonight.
Towel-drying her messy curls and throwing on a simple tee and cargo pants, Violet heads back downstairs. Trying to push the humiliation out of her mind, her new plan for the night involves a cup of spiced tea and Jane Austen. However, halfway up the stairs again there's a knock on her door.
"Cooper, not now," she thinks out loud. That's the last thing she needs, Cooper coming back the same night to make nice. Can't he give her at least one day? One day to regain some dignity before she has to face him and work her way past his rejection?
"I can't," she begins, but stops the minute she realizes it's not Cooper that's on the other side of the door, "Pete?" While he stops by her office all the time, both during and after hours, this is one of a handful times where he's actually shown up at her house.
He smiles and shrugs awkwardly, "Sorry it's so late."
"Well, what's wrong?" At the back of her mind she can recall him mentioning earlier having plans with Addison tonight. She really hopes that isn't why he's here. It's bad enough to tackle the rejection from one guy, but having to hear about another one's love life…
Pete hesitates, "When she died… Anna and I… had been trying…"
Knowing how unwilling Pete is to talk about his late wife most of the time, Violet appreciates the fact that he seeks her out to do it. "To have a baby?" she clarifies.
"Yeah," he nods.
She steps aside and lets him in. He plops down on her couch, like he would in her office; so casual, yet so significant at the same time. For a moment she thinks back to her first session with him, where he deflected her every question and talked around his issues. He's come a long way since.
"So, what made you think about it?" she asks, taking a seat next to him on the couch.
"Susan," he replies, referring to their patient that day, "I used Anna's death as a way of relating to her pain of losing Jason, and she said some things, about burying our pain. And then handing her the baby… I mean, I see babies all the time, but this time it was… different…"
"Because it made you think about what could have been?"
Pete smiles sadly, "Anna and I never had what Susan and Jason did, not even close. I didn't even like her most of the time, but still… sometimes I think about it…"
Violet shrugs, "Well, that's normal, we all have something in our past we would like to change or wonder how could have gone differently."
"What is yours?"
"I thought we were talking about you, tonight," she replies, teasingly.
"Don't we always?" he asks, referring to the way their friendship is based primarily on him seeking her input, "And aren't you tired of focusing on everyone else's problem all the time?"
There are many crossroads in Violet's past, many of which are too painful or too private to discuss. Maybe it's not fair to expect Pete to share his innermost thoughts without giving something in return, but then again she is the therapist out of the two. While it's been many years since Pete was her patient, she assumes the reason he seeks her counsel is rooted in their original dynamic, no matter how reluctant Pete was back then.
She ransacks her mind for something, anything that she can share that won't lead to any heavy or overly personal discussion. She thinks back to her childhood, quickly ignoring anything and everything that has to do with her parents, "Well," she says, "At one point in my life, I seriously considered becoming a teacher, I even majored in it my first year at college… much to my mother's annoyance," she adds, chuckling.
"What made you change your mind?"
Just like that her mind drifts to one fateful night her sophomore year, and the long and hard recovery that followed. It's not something she wants to revisit, ever, "Things happened," she shrugs, hoping it looks casual enough, "My eyes were opened up to the pain that can suddenly befall upon anyone of us, and… I just wanted to do my part…"
She doesn't know if he buys it or if he simply respects her wishes not to talk about it, but he nods in understanding either way. "I think that's probably why anyone of us chose to be who we are."
"Speaking of the practice," she changes the subject, "I thought you had plans tonight…"
"I thought you had plans, too," he counters.
"Yet, here you are…"
"Here I am…"
Violet chuckles and shakes her head at his cryptic response. Pete wouldn't just show up at her doorstep like this, considering his promise of a hot date somewhere else, unless there's something more bothering him than just dredged up memories of Anna. Either the hot date didn't go as planned, or Pete didn't go. Either way she can tell there's something on his mind; something she can tell she will have to pull out of him, "What happened?" she asks in all simplicity, "Why are you here and not with Addison?"
Pete sighs, "Addison is… great, but… she wants commitment and a relationship, and she thinks she can change me… that if she just puts in the time and effort I will come around, and she doesn't realize that that isn't going to happen… If I had gone over there tonight I'd either be fooling her or fooling myself, maybe both…"
"Do you reckon the problem is Addison, and what she wants from you? Or is it you and your failure to commit?"
"A little bit of both?" They both chuckle and Pete shakes his head, "I realize that Addison is a catch, she turns your head when she walks past you and when you get closer you see that there's a whole lot more to her than the way she looks. I know she deserves someone who can commit to her, but something about her still has me revert into a fourteen year old boy. And even though I know I shouldn't I still try to talk her over to my side of things."
"Well, it's in human nature to want everything we can't. It's the whole forbidden fruit concept. The less available something, or someone is, the more we want it. Just look at how I handled the whole Alan debacle… the less available he became to me, the harder I chased him. He moved on and got married and I just… kept stalking him…" Violet shakes her head, "My point is, maybe the problem is that you want each other because you are unavailable to one another, at least in the capacity that you both want. She wants a real relationship, while you don't want any form of attachment."
Violet chuckles, "At least in something," she shrugs. It's a bit harder accepting a compliment when the rejection from earlier keeps ringing in her head.
Pete looks at her, sees that not everything is alright, "What happened… with you and Cooper?"
Violet groans. The last thing she wants is to recant her evening, but then again it's only fair that she reciprocates. Tit for tat in a manner of speaking, "Well, I wasn't stood up," she quips, hoping to joke away the humility she feels.
"Violet," Pete looks at her and she can see the genuine concern in his eyes. It's still an embarrassing story to tell and she hesitates for more than a few minutes.
"He passed on me," she finally says, "I stood naked in front of him, like a… peeled banana, while he overlooked my best parts… and then he passed on me…"
"I'm sorry," Pete says, and it's genuine, no smirk, no laugh, no nothing. He puts his arm on the backrest behind her, wordlessly offering her somewhere to lean. She takes him up on his offer, rests her head on his shoulder and feels his arm close around her. It's comforting, "Cooper's an idiot for passing on you…"
"Does that mean you're an idiot, too?" she quips.
His upper body shakes slightly as he chuckles, "No, I'm the ass who can't commit…"
"Just because you don't want the same thing that Addison does, it doesn't make you an ass."
"It does when I'm the one standing her up…"
"In the long run you'd probably be worse off if you had gone tonight," she shrugs.
"Maybe it's the same with you and Cooper," Pete suggests.
Violet smiles slightly, "It's not the fact that Cooper turned me down that's bothering me… it's the way he did it. Waiting until I was completely bare, making it seem as though there was something about me and my body that turned him off…"
"…that's crazy," Pete interjects.
"I know," Violet sighs, "I have good parts. I have great parts."
"You do," Pete agrees.
Violet doesn't hear it right away and continues to ramble, "I'm a desirable woman. There's no reason a straight man should ever…" suddenly realizing what Pete just said, she looks up at him, "…I, uh, what..?"
Confused by the compliment, she loses her train of thought and just stares at him, not taking in how close proximity his lips are to hers or how he seems to be getting closer and closer. He cups her face with his available hand and then their lips meet in a brief, but electric kiss.
Not realizing she's doing it, she wets her lips, trying to wrap her mind around what just happened. He leans in for another kiss and this time she instinctively parts her lips, urging him to continue. Her hands cup his face and she feels his fingers running through her still moist hair.
She knows it's probably a bad idea, that this is Pete, sleeps-with-anything Pete. But it's been far too long, and besides, casual sex was what she was looking for in the first place. And she trusts Pete, trusts him to always be upfront and honest with her, trusts him not to make a big issue out of it. His lips move down her jaw line to her neck and she lets out a moan as he hits just the right spot. Damn the man's a good kisser.
His hands slip underneath her shirt, pulling it upwards as they travel up her back. She didn't put on a bra after her shower and realizes the minute that shirt is pulled over her head she will be fully exposed to him. Normally that is not really a problem for her, but with the night's earlier events, it's admittedly a little scarier than usual. He's not in a hurry though and the hemline rests slightly above her navel for a while as his hands explore her soft skin, his lips recapturing hers.
Violet lets go of his face and allows herself to explore his body the same way. She knows he works out, but damn she didn't expect him to be so… toned. He's all muscles, and not in an overdone, bulging way either. He's just right. She tugs his shirt upwards and through the corner of her eye she spots a tattoo. She'll have to ask him about that someday.
They wordlessly agree to pull apart, so they can remove both shirts. She smiles when she notices the appreciative look on his face as he takes in the sight of her. That is exactly what her confidence needs right now. And she can't help but bite her lip when taking in the sight of his well-toned upper body. Damn, she can't get over those muscles…
Their bare chests crash together as their lips meet once again, their hands roaming more freely this time. It's not until his mouth wanders down her neck that she realizes they're still in the middle of her living room. "You know," she says breathlessly, "I do have a bed…"
Violet breathes out in sheer contentment as her body recovers from her orgasm. Is her recent dry spell messing with her head? Because she can't remember sex ever being this… wow. She hears Pete breathing heavily next to her and for the moment allows her brain to take it as a compliment.
"I needed that," she admits, feeling oddly truthful in the moment.
"You want to go again?" he asks, suggestively.
Violet laughs out loud, "Give me a couple of minutes, first, will you?" It's oddly freeing this whole sex without emotional attachment. Maybe it's the orgasm talking, or maybe Pete is onto something. Every relationship she can remember, no matter how exciting at first, only led to pain and heartbreak in the end. This however… well, she doesn't really have any basis for comparison, but it feels right, feels safe and exciting at the same time.
"So, no regrets?" he asks.
She can't help but laugh again; right now she feels positively euphoric, "Are you kidding? I should've done this a long time ago…" Her laughter is infectious. Pete runs his hand through her hair and pulls her in for a languid kiss.
Hands begin to roam and the kisses turn heavier as he pulls her flush against him. She's going to be so sore in the morning…