A/N. I've recently gotten back into my FFVIII obsession and in particular I'm crushing on Laguna at the moment. So I came up with a little something to show his dark side. I don't generally think of Laguna as an evil man but for the purposes of this fic, it was fun to mix things up a bit. Kind of like a 'what if' situation. He is obviously torn about his feeling here but he still makes the decision to do it, I think this is the most interesting part of this scenario.
I know that there is actually a condition out there that has a proper name and everything that describes when two long lost relatives meet up they feel an unexplained sexual attraction to each other. In most cases the two relatives don't feel it's wrong to love one another in this way and I guess as a society who has the right to say what's right and what's wrong? I know I wouldn't like to be the kind of person who had to make those decisions for other people.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is if this idea squicks you then you probably shouldn't be reading this fic.
Also there is the obvious squick about rape and so on. If any of this bothers you, turn back now.
If any of you are still left then I hope you enjoy and please leave a little review at the end.
Warnings: Non/con, incest, drug use.
What Shadow Lies Beneath?
Laguna knew he was a sick man. He had to be.
How could he think such things if he wasn't? How could he sit here knowing what he was about to do if he was anything but a sick and evil man? But he had no compulsion to stop himself. He knew there would be no turning back now.
He watched as his Son brought his glass of wine to his lips, controlled and measured in his every graceful movement. He watched as Squall sipped and swallowed the drugged wine, his delicate pink tongue coming out to lick the residue from his plump lips. Laguna felt his hands shaking just ever so slightly as the knowledge of what he was doing sank deeper and deeper into his depraved mind. He must be depraved. He knew that. On some level he knew that the only reason he had invited the Commander of Balamb Garden here was so that he could have this opportunity.
Under false pretences he had tricked Squall here. A promise of a family, a new start. A Father.
Laguna had no such intentions, however much he tried to tell himself he was a good man. However much he tried to deny it. He could never be Squall's Father, not when he thought of him like this. Not when he wanted him like this.
"How's your food?" he heard himself ask, his eyes secretly devouring every inch of his Son's creamy face.
"It's fine." He saw Squall's lips move, heard his velvety soft voice caress his ears, stir his blood.
Their little table sat on his private veranda, the cooling night air playing with the bangs around Squall's face, casting dancing shadows from the garden torches onto his pale skin. How he wanted to trace those shadows with his lips.
Palace staff stood at a discreet distance. No one could intrude on this moment.
He would be cursed to an eternity of hell, he knew. And oh how Raine would despise him if she could see him now, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered accept Squall. Nothing mattered accept having Squall, consuming and devouring him.
Laguna took a sip of his own wine, his eyes never leaving the face of his Son as he watched him like a predator. Waiting for the signs he knew would come. His chest fluttered as he tried to contain himself.
"It's weird isn't it?" He asked, trying his hand at conversation, wanting, needing to hear his son's seductive voice.
Laguna noted as Squall took another measured sip of his tampered wine, his beautiful eyes flicking up from his plate to stare into Laguna's sea green ones.
"How one little bit of information can turn your whole life upside down." Laguna had finished eating and he placed his knife and fork on his plate, leaning back in his chair. "I never dreamed I would ever have a son. Yet here you are."
He saw how Squall absorbed his words, his brows coming together for a brief moment, he looked like he was angry at Laguna's statement before his features cleared and all that was left was a look of pure insecurity. Laguna had never thought Squall could look any more breath taking than when he was his usual stoic self. But the look of innocence and apprehension on his youthful face took Laguna's breath away.
"I stopped waiting for my Father to come and rescue me when I was ten years old. I gave up hoping…" Squall stopped, clearly overwhelmed with unspoken emotion. "I don't… I don't know how to be anybody's Son." He stated looking down at his now empty plate of food, his hands folded in his lap and his shoulders slightly bowed inwards. Laguna thought his Son was two steps away from actually hugging himself and he didn't know whether this sudden bout of honesty was all down to Squall or if the drugs were starting to take effect. Laguna checked Squall's glass of wine to see that nearly all of it had been drunk.
"I'm not expecting anything from you Squall." Laguna lied.
"You asked me here, and I came." Squall wavered slightly in his seat and Laguna knew that the time was close.
"I don't know why I came." Squall looked away into the darkness of the gardens this time actually bringing his hands up and hugging himself, clearly feeling vulnerable and afraid.
"I'm no good at this…Sorry." Squall offered.
If anything was going to come close to twisting Laguna's gut it was those words. The President felt an overwhelming surge of shame for what he was doing as he watched his Son torment himself.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He replied knowing the only person who did was himself. He had so much to be sorry for.
Reaching out under the table he placed his hand on Squall's knee, trying to console. But all he felt when his hand made contact was the electric jolts that drove him to think about his Son writhing underneath him.
Oh Hayne, he was a sick man.
"I didn't ask you here to play happy families." Laguna said; his voice had taken a deeper tone to it, laced with desire and lust that he knew he had to keep hidden, if only for a little longer.
"I knew it wouldn't be that easy. I just…" and here Laguna knew was his biggest lie. "I just thought that if we took it one day at a time, we might… we could get to know one another. Over time I could make it up to you." Laguna knew that after tonight there would be no making it up. He knew that what little hope of forming any kind of family would be lost once he let himself go. He never had had any such intentions.
At Laguna's words Squall turned back to him his face a mixture of uncertainty and anger, his emotions so much more discernable now that the drugs were taking their effect.
"For years I've told myself I didn't want a family." Squall slurred, his eyes becoming more hooded with every blink. "I didn't need a family." His arms that were rapped so tightly around him squeezed harder and it seemed to Laguna that Squall wanted to disappear into himself. His head was down as if trying to hide what he knew would be betraying emotions on his face.
"I want…" Squall's voice wavered and Laguna could see his bottom lip tremble ever so slightly, the sight of it sending shooting spikes to his groin. Squall looked so lost.
Laguna moved so that he was knelt by the side of Squall's chair, his angle of vision altered so that now he was able to see the unshed tears that stood out in the corners of his Son's eyes.
Squall shook his head and let out a huge sigh that might have been a sob, before closing his eyes and allowing the huge fat tears to drop from his eyes
"Hayne, I don't…" He whispered afraid of his own voice. "I don't know what I want." He confessed before Laguna took him in his arms and pulled him from his chair to straddle his lap. It was an embrace meant to comfort but Laguna couldn't help the way it stirred his cock, making it twitch just slightly.
Tentatively Squall unravelled his own arms and hugged Laguna back, finally accepting the comfort he so badly wanted but was too proud to ask for. He nuzzled his head under his Father's chin and tried to hold back the wave of sobs that wanted to rip from him. The force of them caused his chest to convulse slightly as he refused to let them surface.
Only a few more tears escaped before he managed to bring himself under control again, relishing the feel of Laguna's fingers carding their way through his hair.
Laguna's mind whirled with the electricity that rushed through his body. To have the object of his desires in his lap, hugging him so fiercely made the blood in his ears pound with excitement, his breath coming to him in short sharp pants.
Suddenly Squall's arms dropped from their crushing hold, his head lolling as if he were exhausted and the full weight of his Son was pressed against his chest.
Laguna knew it was time.
"Squall." Laguna called as he tried to sit him up, taking his face in his hands. Squall was well and truly drugged. His eyes were glazed not only with his spent tears but with a foggy cloud that made him look so far away. His breathing was shallow and laboured and his features were soft and lax.
"Would you like to sleep now Squall?" Laguna asked as he traced his thumb over his Son's pinking cheek.
"I…I…" Squall tried to find words but couldn't. His eyelids drooped again and Laguna stood, bringing his Son with him. He placed an arm under him for support and then gently led him away from their dining table and away from the night.
It was slow progress, Squall stumbled many times but with Laguna there to guide him they made it to Squall's sleeping quarters.
Laguna's whole body thrummed and shivered with the anticipation of what he was about to do. His goal was so close. He quashed the voice in the back of his head that told him he still had time to change his mind; that the worst had not yet been done and he could still save himself.
He chose to ignore it.
Standing next to the bed he flicked on the bedside lamp, throwing the room into a glorious play of shadow and light. Squall would look beautiful in here. Turning to his son whose head was hanging low and heavy he jostled him into wakefulness.
"Squall." He whispered, bringing his free hand up to cup his Son's face.
"Squall I need you to stand for a moment." He coaxed. His voice was low and full of all the wrong things he knew he was.
"Nhn…" Squall tried to reply.
Laguna led his Son to the bed and carefully turned him to sit upon it. Letting him fall back, Laguna carefully lay Squall down, his body half on/ half off of the large bed. He lay there for a few moments just drinking in the beauty that was his Son letting his fingertips trace and devour soft skin as they ghosted across Squall's jaw line and throat. As his fingers wandered lower they began to undo the buttons on Squall's dress shirt, letting his thumb slide in every now and then and caress the soft skin underneath. He kept his movements deliberately slow and torturous. He wanted to draw this out for as long as possible.
His face was so close the Squall's his heavy breath brushed over the younger man's cheeks which were flushed with heat. Undoing the last of the shirts buttons he carefully lifted it off one shoulder, exposing the creamy white skin of Squall's collar bone and the slight curvature of his pectoral muscle, one dusky pink nipple standing erect. His skin began to goose pimple the moment it was exposed to the cooler air around it and Laguna desperately wanted to lay his lips on it, wanted to taste every inch of it. Grinding his body closer to the unresponsive one next to his he felt the friction of his slowly growing erection, which was almost too painful by now.
Taking his son's lax hand he tried to cup himself through his trousers, trying to imagine that Squall was awake and wanting this just as much as Laguna did. He tried to imagine His son's eyes and the kind of lust he would find there as he rubbed his turgid dick with Squall's lifeless hand.
Sitting up, Laguna slid from the bed and knelt at Squall's feet, removing his shoes and socks before turning his attention to his belt and trousers. Kneeling with one leg beside his Son and the other in-between Squall's legs, Laguna reverently opened Squall's trousers unhooking the belt and flicking the button open. Torturously slowly he tugged down the zipper, all the while feeling the heat of his skin beneath the material.
Standing back he began to tug off the trousers. He slid them over well defined, sculpted thighs relishing in every inch of skin that was exposed as he took the trousers lower and lower before finally pulling them off.
Briefly checking Squall's breathing he began to pull his underwear off in the same manner. Slow, so slow he could barely contain himself when he finally saw everything his son had to offer him.
Naked apart from the dress shirt that fell open around him, Squall was beautiful. Laguna had trouble breathing. He crawled so slowly up and over him until he was hovering just inches away from that beautiful face, his lips almost touching moist pout lips that were slightly parted and puffing out shallow uneven breaths. His hands were on either side of Squall's head his fingers itching to touch and explore and devour.
"Squall." Laguna called needing him to wake up just enough to move onto the bed proper.
"Squall wake up."
Begrudgingly Squall's storming eyes flickered open. With a small groan from pout lips Laguna nearly gave in and clamed them right there. He held himself back, but only just.
"Squall we need to get you in to bed." He said almost fatherly like. It was almost as if Squall had just passed out from too much wine and Laguna was helping him into bed to sleep it off. Almost.
The barest of nods and the smallest hint of acknowledgment from his son and Laguna managed somehow to manoeuvre Squall into the middle of the bed, ridding him of his shirt and final piece of clothing. Now Squall lay naked and exposed to him, his eyelids fluttering with heavy drugged confusion, his face flushed and his cheeks pink. A light sheen of sweat stood out on his pale flesh making him seem to glow in the vapid light. Laguna had never been more turned on in his entire life and he refused to hold himself back any longer.
Any thoughts of turning back, any chance or redemption were shattered as Laguna let his lips rest against his Son's. Pressing them tight together he laid his body flush against the smaller one underneath him. His breath came in shaky stuttering waves as he lifted his trembling hand to stroke his Son's face. He deepened the kiss as much as he could, taking Squall's bottom lip into his mouth and sucking, laving his tongue against it before crushing his own lips back against the boy's.
Hayne save him now, he was a dammed man.
Sitting up he franticly shed his own shirt and trousers, desperate to feel his own heated flesh against the younger mans.
With his last bit of clothing disappearing over his shoulder he dropped himself back on top of his Son, his eyes closing in bliss at the feel of his erection pressed into creamy white thigh. The tip of his dick just nudging under the younger man's balls.
His Son's name ghosted out from between his lips as he gently rocked himself against Squall's limp body. The movement caused Squall to stir and his eyes flicked open again, looking around dazedly, seeing but not comprehending. His eyes rested on the face of the man above him and for a moment Laguna was afraid that Squall knew. The young man's brows knitted together in bewilderment his eyes almost looking like they recognised before they closed again and Squall let out a slight whimper of confusion and uncertainty. Something was wrong, but he couldn't work out what.
Laguna shushed him, caressing his face and placing small kisses to his lips as he continued to grind against the unresponsive body beneath him.
Reaching down Laguna gently lifted Squall's left leg, hooking his arm under the knee to stabilise himself whilst carefully caressing and soothing any skin he came into contact with.
Gradually he nudged himself in-between his Son's thighs; the tip of his dripping penis throbbing at his entrance. All he needed to do was push forwards.
Propped up on one arm with Squall's leg balanced over the other, Laguna slowly drove his dick inside.
Laguna felt as though his chest would burst open with the pressure of anticipation. His heart was thudding so fast as he stumbled body and soul into oblivion, knowing there was no way back for him now as he fucked his Son. With inexperience and impatience he tried pushing the rest of his engorged dick into his Son's tight hole, wanting to feel more of that delicious heat and friction. A startled cry from below him took his attention as his eyes came to rest on Squall's face. The younger man's eyes were screwed shut in agony, all of his features showing his pain as another cry came from his lips.
Laguna stopped all movement and shushed his Son. Rubbing his cheek against Squall's in what he hoped was a comforting one, knowing that even now, Squall wouldn't have the coordination or the strength to push him away, and Laguna didn't have the want to stop. Knowing it would hurt him, Laguna gripped Squall's hip and thrust the rest of the way inside him.
Squall's body arched up off the bed, his head thrown back his throat exposed and his mouth ripped open in a silent scream. His once limp hands gripped the bed clothes in a shaking grip, his stomach being pulled taught and concave.
Laguna had buried his face in his Son's neck, biting down hard to contain the cry of ecstasy that threatened to spill from his lips. His body rocking back and forth with Squall's as the younger man rode out the spasms of pain, Laguna for the moment was content to remain buried to the hilt unmoving as he tried to bring himself under control. He was afraid he would finish too early.
Squall let out a loud shaking breath that ended in a deep moan, his hands letting go of the blankets and grasping blindly at Laguna's arms, back and hair, trying to remove the source of pain, trying to dislodge the presence that loomed over him.
Letting go of Squall's leg, Laguna gathered his son's weakly flailing arms and held them above his head. Noting his tear filled eyes as they darted about the room Laguna knew that in his head Squall was a world away. Seeing dark and terrible images as his physical body felt the pain.
Gripping Squall's leg again tightly under the knee he lifted it to gain better access. Taking one last huge breath he began to push in and out of his Son's body, the heat and dryness adding to the deep friction and heady pleasure.
Squall let out a few more mewls of pain before turning his face away, trying but failing to strain his body enough to break away from whoever it was that held him and inflicted so much pain on him.
"Nhn….no." Laguna thought he heard, over the roaring of blood in his ears. His whole body was zinging with pleasure. His rapture was everything, and in his moment of weakness his Son's pain was nothing. He pounded harder, loving how the euphoria came over him in waves as he pushed rhythmically in and out harder and harder, then shallow and softly. Burying his face again he licked and sucked on the skin he found there moving his hips franticly.
The intensity of the silence of the room was almost like a drug in itself and it weighed heavily all around Laguna. The only sounds were the occasional whimper from below him, the slapping of flesh against flesh and his harsh erratic breathing.
Laguna had no idea how long it went on for only that with each deepening thrust he was pushing himself closer and closer to his peak. He could feel it building up behind him as his balls pulled up against him and finally with three then four more huge thrusts he felt his orgasm crash against him. It took his body out of his control and as he rode it out his hips bucked wildly. His face contorted in what looked like extreme pain but was in fact deep and euphoric highs as he came spurt after spurt into his Son.
Collapsing in complete exhaustion he covered Squall's body with his own heaving and gulping mass. Boneless and quivering he lay there working through the aftershocks.
For many moments he had no compulsion to leave, his body still tingling and his mind still fogged with almost tangible pleasure. Slowly he worked himself down from his high, his mind drifting back to the room he was in, the bed he was on and the person who lay under him. Gradually he began to understand. As the last threads of sated lust left him, in front of him he saw not an object that needed claiming, but a boy.
Squall's face was a mixture of confusion and pain, his eyes tightly closed, his body tight with tension and Laguna knew that he had caused all of it. He was supposed to be the boy's Father.
Shame came over him then as he knew he had failed. His desire, even now as he was still buried in Squall's tight twitching heat was still there. He still desired this boy. Even through his shame and failure he couldn't bring himself to stop wanting.
Trembling with regret and need he caressed Squall's face one last time. Pressing his lips to his one last time, he pulled out of his Son and turned to leave. His tears finally spilling over as he saw blood on the sheets and bruises marring the once perfect skin.
What had he done?
His mind lost in agony and shame he dressed and quietly left his Son's apartments, never looking back at the mess he had left behind. He didn't want to see.
Squall would wake up in the morning and know. He would never remember but the mementos that Laguna had left him with would be enough. Laguna briefly wondered what he would do then, when he was confronted with his Son. How would he answer him? How could he ever say sorry?
How could he ever live with himself?
Maybe Squall would never tell. Maybe they would see each other over breakfast; their terrible secret between them and they would never tell.
Laguna could only hope for such a miracle.