Epilogue – Matt's perspective
I'm walking off the set as soon as the director calls cut. I don't mind devoting myself to my craft when it's necessary. But now, it's Friday afternoon and there is only one place in the world I want to be. A little farmhouse in the country. Tai's waiting for me out there.
I wasn't much surprised when he said he'd rather live out in the country than in the middle of the city. I guess he probably realizes that it's harder on me that he lives so far away from Tokyo now. I have to travel more to get to him and back to work on Monday; I'd rather have him living in Tokyo with me. But I bought him his farmhouse when he asked for it 'cus I knew it'd make him happy. He's always liked physical labor and he gets plenty of it tending to the land in the summer, cutting down his own firewood in the winter. He grows most of what we eat during the summer himself. Raises his own chickens and cows too. Today, he'll greet me at the door in his muddy overalls and his dirt-caked boots and it'll be the best thing I've seen this entire week.
He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that night in Tokyo when he finally came back to me. He looked so expressionless when he walked into my arms and kissed me. Of course, I didn't care much at that point about his expression. We didn't even make it into the bedroom that first time. Of course, we hardly ever make it to the bedroom even now. His expression's changed a little though – he smiles when he sees me sometimes, tells me stories about his newborn calf or how his carrots are doing. I'm not naïve enough to think that's love – but at least it's acceptance.
I guess that's about the best I can expect. But I don't know how long it's going to be enough for.
Epilogue - Tai's perspective
Truth be told, I'm not sure I will ever really want him; atleast not in the way he wants me. It's been so many years since this all started. So many years since he first raped me in that locker room back when we both were a couple of 16 year old kids. I've accepted that I belong to him now even though I have no dreams left to protect by hiding what he's done. My soccer career ended when the day I kicked the shit out of Kazu and Matt. I could publically declare that Yamato Ishida raped me and coerced me into this relationship – the tabloids would probably pay through the nose for such a sensational story about the Yamato Ishida. But I have too much pride left to do any such thing – I am still a man.
On the other hand, I could simply walk away. I am a full-grown adult male, I don't live with my parents. I could disappear into the crowd one day, move to some place where he would never find me. He keeps me in this pretty little house, spends his weekends with me and his weekdays working on his thriving acting career. I like it a whole lot better now than the first six months when I was staying in his downtown Tokyo condo. My parents came to visit once and I had no way to explain how I could afford to live in the most expensive place they'd ever been to. It's a whole lot easier to explain how I'm living out in the country now. I know it was a sacrifice for him – it'd be a lot more convenient for him if I was living in Tokyo still. I am grateful that he considered what I wanted. But in the end, I don't need him or his millions – I could be happy teaching kids soccer, or working as a farmhand in some small remote part of the world.
But I know these are just pipe-dreams. Because I will not leave him – I can't leave him. It's been 10years since the locker room. In that time, I've come to need him; he's been the one constant through the upheavals, through the craziness. I may not love him today, probably will never love him. But I am his – and we both know it.
A/N: Well, I've had most of this completed for almost a year now. But I finally got it done and I have to say, this is the only way I could see this ending. I'm sorry to anyone hoping for a happy ending where they come to love each other mutually. The problem is: Matt never respected Tai enough in the beginning to try to make an effort to actually be in a relationship with him. He developed some sort of an obsession over Tai as a 16 year old, and at the time had so much clout/power that he just took what he wanted. And Tai wasn't going to be able to love Matt – the guy had raped him, effectively destroyed his chances at a soccer career (what he wanted most in life).
I might write a sequel where Tai slowly begins to accept Matt as his "husband/boyfriend/significant other". But for now, I'm happy that atleast it's somewhat complete.
So tell me what you guys think! Thanks for staying with it for so long. I hope the ending is acceptable to most of you