Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in it.
Have you ever made a mistake?
A colossal mistake that made you question your entire existence?
If you have then you'll know how devastating it is to realise that there's no going back.
My name is Bella Swan. People in the industry will know me as Belle Blackheart.
I've been modelling now for about three years. I started when I was nineteen years old.
Not the kind of modelling your thinking of. I was no high end fashion model. In fact I didn't really model anything. Literally.
I couldn't really tell you why I decided to go into glamour. When life throws you a bone, you've just gotta run with it, right?
Trust me, its anything but glamorous.
The most glamorous thing about it was the shoes and considering that's the only thing I'm usually required to wear it's not much of a consolation.
Two bouts of liposuction and a breast enhancement was the price I paid for the attention I desired.
Stupid really, because I already had the only persons attention that I'd ever crave, but never mind about that. Ill go into that another time.
I had a simple upbringing. Nothing dramatic. Unlike most of the other girls in the business, I had no problems with abuse or drugs of any kind. Of course they always thought I was lying. I guess its difficult to see why I would choose this career.
I guess I just needed to be different. I had always been seen as little miss sweet and innocent back in Forks and that just had to change.
I wasn't that girl anymore. I didn't want to be her anymore.
My father, Charlie Swan, didn't exactly agree with my career choice. Well, when I say he didn't exactly agree that's a huge, whopping understatement. I hadn't seen him since the day I left for Los Angeles three years ago. Or to be exact, three years, four months and eight days.
I spoke to him briefly over the telephone now and then. I sent cards on Birthdays and Christmas's but that was the extent of it.
Three Years, Four Months & Eight Days Ago
"I will not allow this Isabella! You are not some common whore!" Charlie shouted at me.
"You cant stop me! I'm a legal adult now. I'm going to LA and I'm going today!" I screamed back at him.
I almost jumped out of my skin as he hurled the coffee table across the room.
"So this is what you want to do with your life? You honestly want to spend the rest of your life taking your clothes off for sleazy photographers?"
"Its not sleazy and yes this is what I'm doing! If you cant respect that then its no problem of mine" I told him firmly.
"Respect you? You want me to respect you? Are you out of your damn mind?" he laughed humourlessly.
"Whatever dad. I'm leaving in an hour. I'm going upstairs to pack the rest of my things." I told him, stomping up to bedroom."I don't understand what's gotten into you. I thought you and Ja…" I cut him off before he could finish.
"Its over Dad. I'm leaving. I really don't want to part on bad terms but I wont have you guilt tripping me into staying" I said, slamming my door with the last syllable.
That went well, wouldn't you say?
My mother, Renee, died in a car accident when I was seven years old. I had spent every day since then promising to make her proud and although I knew she wouldn't agree wholly with my choices, she would still have respect for me.
Hell, anybody would. I, Isabella Swan, was a twenty two year old virgin.
Hard to believe in this industry I know. Don't get me wrong, I'd had plenty of offers but that was the one thing I still had to feel proud of. To keep to myself. I wouldn't say that I regretted coming to LA, because I didn't. I'd had the time of my life out here. I'd met some amazing people and gotten the chance to do things that people could only dream of.
I'd been a Playboy centrefold twice over and had starred in some stellar music videos. I could only imagine what people were saying about me back home. I dreaded to think. Especially him….
No. I wouldn't think of him today. Today was a good day, I would make sure of it.
I was in Marrakesh for a shoot with a high end gentlemen's magazine. When I started out, I had firmly told my agent that I wouldn't settle for anything less than high end. I wouldn't cheapen myself with coochie shots and I never had. The most you'd ever see was my landing strip, I wouldn't open my legs for a single one of these photographers and they knew it.
It had actually earned me a great deal of respect, not to mention business.
I guess it was all about keeping the mystery. If I laid out spread eagled for everyone to see, why would they bother buying any more of the magazines. My only guess was they held out hope that it'd be visible in the next shoot. But hey, I'm not complaining. Another day another dollar, right?
Speaking of Dollars, money really wasn't a problem anymore. I had a good chunk stashed away in a bank account and I only spent what I needed to live. Well, if you consider Christian Louboutin a necessity.
I often sent Charlie cheques just to help him out, but he always sent them straight back to me. After a while he didn't even bother opening the envelopes. He'd just return the envelope straight back to my address.
I hadn't dated anybody since I had moved away from home. I didn't have the time, patience or the need. Again, it wasn't like I hadn't had any offers and most of the time they were courteous, but I just didn't want to. Of course there was a reason for that. A very big reason. One that I wasn't about to admit to.
Nobody would compare to Ja…
"Belle Bear, come on you need to change"
Ah, my stylist. Rosalie Hale. Now she was a goddess. I could never understand why she hadn't tried her hand at modelling, but hey, each to their own right?
Her long, golden locks fell down her back graciously and those icy blue eyes could captivate any man. I've seen it myself often enough.
She was my best friend in this business. Hell, she was practically my sister. We shared an apartment in LA.
"Okay babe. I'm coming" I shouted back to her.
I walked towards the other side of the hotel room and glanced over at the material I'd be wearing. Well, I say material, there really wasn't enough here to constitute giving it that name.
I held my arms out by my sides as Rose draped the deep red voile material around my breasts. I didn't see the need as you could still see every detail of them straight through it.
She criss crossed it over my stomach and tied it into an elegant bow on my hip.
"Here, cover up your cookie" she giggled.
She threw me a tiny black g-string to match it with. I slipped them all the way up my legs and adjusted them.
"Shoes?" I asked hopefully.
"Not today honey" she smiled.
I huffed. The shoes were the best part, especially when you got to take them home from the set. Especially then.
"You ready? We need to catch the sunset" she asked.
"Yep. Ready. Lead the way" I replied.
She grabbed hold of my hand and led me out onto the roof. The view was stunning. Beneath me were the bustling streets and markets. The scent of freshly ground spices filled the air around me. Delicious.
"Okay Belle, we really need to catch the light. Could you lay down next to the pool for me?" Edward, the photographer asked.
I obeyed and gently lowered myself to the ground.
"Okay, you know what to do" he ushered.
And I did. I'd had enough experience to know what made men tick and boy did I use it.
I laid flat on my back and brought both arms straight up above my head, arching my back slightly and crossing one leg over the over.
Anyone who said modelling easy, was a liar. It wasn't easy and if it was, you weren't doing it right.
So many times I'd be naked on a beach in the icy rain. Sure, the shots were beautiful when they were done, but jeez it was uncomfortable.
Sand and coochies.
They're not friends.
I glided through the rest of the photo shoot as always and spent a little more time catching the last few rays that the sun had to offer.
"Honey, your cell phone" I heard Rosalie call.
I jumped up and jogged towards her.
"Thanks" I smiled, taking it from her hand.
I pressed the green button and pulled it up to my ear.
"Bella, its your dad"
"Oh, hey. How are you?" I asked. Well this is awkward.
"I'm good. How about you?"
"Um, yeah. I'm fine. What's up?"
"I meant to tell you earlier actually, but I couldn't get hold of you. I'm getting married Bella. Three days from now"
"Oh….Wow….Who?" I asked him. Well I was a crap daughter and that right there just proved it.
"That's great Dad, she's a real nice lady"
And she really was. Her husband had died the day after my fifteenth birthday. It was about time they both found happiness.
"I was hoping you'd be able to make it Bella"
"I….Three days?….That's not much notice. I'm kind of in Morocco right now, Dad" I told him.
Now I felt even worse. I just couldn't stop disappointing people could I?
"Morocco? Wow, you really are seeing the world aren't you?"
"Yeah Dad. I am" I whispered.
"Look, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have expected you to drop everything at the last minute."
Feeling more awful by the second….
"No Dad, Ill be there. I promise. I'll just rearrange my flight to Washington. I wouldn't miss it" I told him.
"No, thank you for inviting me"
"Of course. Call me with details?"
"As soon as I know" I assured him.
"Okay. I'll speak to you soon"
"Bye Dad" I said, shutting off the call.
There really was no way of getting out of this one was there?
I know the chapter isn't as long as my other fics, but this is just the beginning.
They will get longer, I promise.
Please review and let me know what you thought.
Id love to know if I'm doing a good job or just flogging a dead horse here?
Thank you for reading xxxxx