(Buffyfan told me to speed these up, so just to prove that I read the reviews…..)


Spike was still feeling high from the revelation that the Scoobies thought he was their friend. Sure he was bleeding with a concussion on the floor but that didn't mean he wasn't happy. He was VERY happy.

But he knew that if he didn't get out of this situation soon, somebody was going to get hurt and If Xander swung that bat again it was going to be him.

His bruised mind raced to come up with a solution to his little problem.

Then it dawned on him.

Actually, it DAWN-ed on him.

With a split lip and a pounding head, he opened his mouth to speak.


Dawn was still crying when she heard the robot speak up.

"Dawn, I can prove that it's really me."


When Stephan came to, he realized that he was being dragged down a residential street by the collar of his shirt. This was not a good sign.

"Oh good, you're awake." The woman's voice, which could only be Buffy's, sounded more then a little menacing. "I hope you're ready for a long night, cause you're going to get it."

Stephan just groaned in frustration. She was actually mad because some guy was in love her. Spike said she might be in denial but this was bordering on ridiculous.

He managed to gather his thoughts long enough to form words. "What exactly did I do that was so wrong?"

Buffy stopped and picked him off the ground to look him in the eye. "What did you do wrong? You replaced the man I love with a machine, a robot."

"Oh, so you didn't like the new Spike, huh? Didn't think he was any good? Well, that's pretty funny because you didn't seem to like the OLD Spike very much either."

Tears began to flow down Buffy's face and Stephan felt his words get through to her. "I LOVED HIM!"

"Then why didn't you tell him? If you loved him the way he was then why didn't you let him know? You don't like change, you don't like the status quo. What do you like Buffy?"

"I hardly think it matters now."

Stephan snorted when he heard that. "Why because he's different? I'll have you know that he enjoys being different and maybe if you let go of misconceptions you'll being to enjoy him to."


Buffy nearly killed the Doctor with her bare hands when she heard that. "Enjoy what? A soulless automaton? A cookie cut person? My Spike was real. He had life and feeling. What you changed him into was…"

"Exactly what you said wanted." The Doctor straitened his tie and brushed the dirt off his suit, "I didn't change anything that he didn't think you wanted. He came to me and told me about your past boyfriends. About how you wanted a normal life. So I changed him to fit your dream world. What was so wrong about that?"

Buffy hit the Doctor, right in the jaw. But that didn't make his words hurt less. She knew he was right.

For years, her excuse for not being with the man she loved was that she didn't want that kind of life. She was always saying that she would only be happy with a nice, kind man who could be with her in the sun and maybe have children. But now Spike was like that. He was nice and kind and perfect, but she didn't love him. He wasn't who she wanted.

She wanted Spike. The real Spike.

But he was gone for good and in his place was a mindless brainless thing that didn't smoke and wouldn't make fun of her.

He was a shadow of what she really wanted.


Stephan recovered from the blow to the jaw and got back up to look Buffy in the eye. "Maybe you should be careful what you wish for."

Buffy smiled a wicked smile. "You're right." She said getting menacingly closer, "This is all my fault. But that doesn't mean I can't blame you for it."

Stephan felt his throat go very dry as she yanked him down the street by the collar.


Dawn was a little stunned that the robot wanted her to believe he was the real thing. Too stunned to even say no.

The Robot took a deep fake breath and continued. "You tell me everything right?"

Xander gripped his baseball bat tighter but still looked at Dawn for here response. She nodded.

"Well, what if I told you something that only you and I would know?"

She nodded again.

"Dawn. "He said, a little uncomfortable revealing this secret in front of Xander and Willow, " Last week you got to second base with Steve Wilson under the bleachers at a football game. He was really plastered and you didn't tell your friends because he was kind of a jerk and you didn't want them to think you were a hoe. So you told me because you thought that Buffy would just get mad and you wanted to tell someone."

Dawn's jaw dropped to the floor. "Spike?"

"Dawnie did that really happen?" Willow put her hand on Dawn's shoulder. Dawn just nodded in shock. "Then he's really Spike?"

She nodded again.


Spike wearily muttered, "Could someone get me out of these ropes?"


Buffy arrived home to total anarchy.

Xander was in shock, Willow had fainted, The floor was soaking wet, and the Spike-bot was standing with his arms around Dawn who was screaming bloody murder.

Buffy growled in rage. The Robot was attacking her sister.

She grabbed for a baseball bat on the floor and dropped the Doctor's dazed body.

The Spike-bot turned and smiled at her just before she broke the bat over his head.


It had taken a few minutes to explain everything. The kidnapping, the new clothes, the strange behavior, and even the teenage groping (Dawn was officially grounded for a week).

But when it was all over and Buffy apologized to the nice Dr. Cross, whom she had beaten the royal crap out of, She still had one person left to talk to.

Sitting on the back porch with his jaw and face wrapped in ice packs, was Spike. Even though his face was a mass of bruises and lacerations, he was still handsome.

She settled down beside him wrapping her arm around his shoulder. "Hey."

That was all she said, just 'hey'.

"Hey." He said back, smiling a little in pain. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out again next week, this Freddie Prinze Jr. movie is playing and…"

She interrupted him with a deep passionate kiss and said in her best cockney accent, "Freddie Prinze Jr. is a fag! Let's just go drinking and get us a spot a' violence." Smiling and laughing, they walked back inside in each other's arms.

Ten minutes later, Spike punched Xander and threw him out the window.


A week later, Dr. Stephan Cross found himself tied up in what looked like some kind of a hotel in LA.

A dark haired man with an intense look on his face stepped forward. "Hello, my name is Angel and I'm a vampire. I need your help with this girl named Cordelia…"

Cross just rolled his eyes and screamed "Why can't you guys make appointments like normal people?"