Title: "To Be Loved"
Rating:
M
Pairings:
LMHP (dubcon), BZDM
Warnings:
Chan, Mpreg, Slash, drug use, AU (as in Voldemort is gone forever)
Summary:
When the Malfoys return from a trip to find a four year old Harry taking shelter in their house, they decide to adopt him. After all, he's Harry Potter and who wouldn't want him for a son? But what if Lucius doesn't feel for Harry the way one should for their son? "You're a victim, Harry!" Blaise said. "Don't say that!" Harry yelled back. "All I wanted was to be loved, and he does. He loves me."

This is Part One of a Three Part Prologue


To Be Loved

Prologue, the First: Temporary Home
"This is my Temporary Home; it's not where I belong. Windows and rooms that I'm passing through..."

~Carrie Underwood

It seemed like they had been in the car forever and yet they were still going. Harry's legs had grown stiff and his butt was numb from sitting in the uncomfortable backseat. His cousin Dudley had decided the best way to spend the long car trip was by picking on Harry. Spitballs made from candy wrappers stuck to Harry's hair and Harry's chest was sticky and irritated where Dudley had "accidentally" spilled his soda on him. Eventually Dudley had grown bored due to lack of response from Harry, so he was now passing the time by kicking the back of his mother's seat, blaming it on Harry, and laughing when Petunia chastised Harry even though it was impossible for Harry's leg to reach far enough to kick her seat from his side of the car.

Finally the car began to slow and Harry hoped they had arrived wherever they were going, but when he peered out of the window he saw they were just at another gas station.

"Pit stop," Uncle Vernon declared pulling up to a pump. "You all have five minutes to stretch your legs, empty your bladders, or whatever else you need to do."

"Candy?" Dudley asked.

"Of course you can get more candy, Dudders," Aunt Petunia said. She had gotten out of the front seat and was now in the process of freeing Dudley from his seat belt. Harry just slumped down in his seat so that no one could see him through the window. He assumed he wasn't allowed out of the car since he hadn't been allowed out during the other pit stops either.

The door next to Harry was snatched open and Uncle Vernon's menacing form loomed over the frightened four-year-old. "Out of the car, Boy," Vernon ordered. "Be back in five minutes or we're leaving you behind. If I hear you've gotten up to anything freaky, I'll make sure you regret it."

"Yes, Uncle Vernon," Harry said softly, liberating himself from his seat belt and slipping out of the car. Keeping his head down, so as to go unnoticed, Harry headed into the gas station about ten paces behind Dudley and Aunt Petunia, and followed them to what he assumed was the public loos. Aunt Petunia said something to Dudley and pulled him into the women's loo with her, so Harry headed into the men's loo by himself.

Harry couldn't have been in the toilet for more than two minutes, but when he came out Aunt Petunia and Dudley were nowhere to be found in the gas station. He assumed they were still in the loo, so he headed out to where Uncle Vernon had parked the car. Only the car was gone, and so was Uncle Vernon and Harry could assume Aunt Petunia and Dudley were gone as well. They had left him. They had left him here alone in some unfamiliar place. What was he supposed to do now?

Harry was scared and people were starting to notice him. Concerned looking gas station patrons were watching him as he stood there staring at the empty spot where the Dursleys' car had been only a minute before. Finally someone bolstered up the courage to approach him; a girl in her late teens came and knelt by his side and spoke to him in the soothing tones one used for frightened children and animals. "Hey little man," the girl said, "Are you here alone? Where are your mommy and daddy?"

Harry didn't know what to say. He stared at the girl with wide green eyes glossed over with a sheen of un-shed tears. "Dead," he let slip out softly. "My mum and dad are dead."

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie. Who are you here with? Are you here with you grandparents or your aunt and uncle? Who is supposed to be taking care of you."

"My aunt and uncle," Harry said, wondering if he was going to get in trouble with Uncle Vernon for telling a stranger this much. But Uncle Vernon wasn't there anymore. He couldn't punish Harry anymore.

"Where are your aunt and uncle, sweetie?" The girl asked.

"I don't know," Harry admitted. "They left me."

The girl's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before she gave a determined nod. "Well little man, my name is Amanda. Why don't you come with me and I'll buy you some candy. Would you like that, little man? For me to buy you some candy?" Harry nodded. "Then come on with me." Amanda led Harry over to the car she'd gotten out of, a little red car with no roof on it and another girl leaning against the side.

"Hey Amanda, who is your little friend?"

"I forgot to ask. What's your name, little man?"

"Boy," Harry said, "or Freak. I don't know."

Amanda made a sound like clearing her throat. "How about we just keep calling you Little Man." Harry nodded.

"Well, Little Man," the other girl said, "My name is Erin. Why don't you come with me and I'll get you that candy 'manda promised. Come on. Lil' Man; I don't bite." Erin reached out a hand for him, and Harry hesitantly took it. "Make that call you been meaning to make," Erin said to Amanda.

"I know, Erin," Amanda said, holding up what Harry knew to be a mobile phone. Aunt Petunia had been harping about getting one for Dudley soon, though they all knew Dudley would just break it and who would he have to call anyway?

Erin led Harry back into the gas station and told him to get whatever candy he wanted. When all he chose was a small lollipop, she insisted he got more. Five minutes later, Erin was leading Harry out of the gas station and back to where they had left Amanda at their little red car. Harry was carrying a bag full of sweets and juices Erin had purchased, while Erin smiled at him and sipped from a bottle of soda pop she'd bought. Harry smiled up and Erin, before turning his attention towards the car and Amanda, only to freeze in his tracks. Standing by the car with Amanda was two police officers.

Harry looked at the three people in fright. Had Amanda called the police on him? Had he done something wrong? Was he in trouble for having Erin buy him so much candy; he hadn't wanted her to buy so much he would have been happy with the lollipop he had originally chosen, but she had insisted he get more.

Uncle Vernon had told him that the police's job was to take bad boys like him and lock them away. Uncle Vernon had told him that the police would lock him up somewhere cold with rats and insects, they wouldn't ever give him food not even table scraps, and they would beat him. Uncle Vernon used to threaten to call the police and have them take him away every time he did something bad or freaky.

Had he done something bad to make Amanda call the police on him? Were they going to take him away? Harry didn't want them to take him away. He didn't want to be locked up in the cold with pests and no food. It wasn't fair. Amanda didn't even know him that well, what gave her right to call the police on him!

Erin said something when she realized Harry had stopped walking, but Harry wasn't listening to her. Now that he thought about it, it had been Erin who told Amanda to call the police on him. She had told her to 'make that call'. Erin thought he was bad, too. Neither Erin nor Amanda was on his side.

Erin touched his arm, and Harry yanked himself away and shot a glare at the girl. Before Erin could do anything about it, Harry turn and ran. He had already hit the tree line by time Erin thought to run after him. And he had already hid himself in the overgrowth by time Erin and the others reached the tree line. He knew he wasn't going to be safe from them if he stayed where he was, so he closed his eyes and willed himself away. He'd willed himself away from places before, usually when he was really scared or hurt; he knew that this little trick, that he had kept secret from his aunt and uncle because it was so freaky, would only take him a little ways away, but maybe it would take him far enough that Erin and Amanda wouldn't find him. He never wanted to see Erin and Amanda again.

Like always, Harry felt as if his body was been pulled through a small space, but he knew that meant that the trick was working. When he opened his eyes, he was still surrounded by trees, but he could not hear Erin, Amanda, or the police officers anywhere, also the trees around him were completely different from the trees around the gas station. He had succeeded at willing himself away, and it seemed that he's managed to take himself farther that he'd ever gone before.

He had no idea where he was, but he wasn't the least bit afraid. Whenever he willed himself away, he always asked to be taken somewhere safe. If he had been brought to this strange forest, then he was undoubtedly safe here. Well, as safe as any four year old could be when they were alone in the forest. To be completely honest, Harry was a little bit afraid. Uncle Vernon had taken Harry to a forest once and threatened to leave him there for the wild animals to eat. Uncle had told him a rather vivid story about how he might feel safe enough in the daytime, but the animals would come for him at night, they would surround him and leer at him as they licked their chops, no matter how fast Harry tried to run the animals would be faster, they would tackle him and pin him down with their sharps claws, and that so many beasts would be on him he wouldn't know which one began to eat him first.

OK, so Harry was more than a little bit afraid. But it was still daytime, which meant he had plenty of time to find his way out of the forest. With as much determination that could be mustered by a frightened four year old, Harry picked a random direction and started walking, praying that he would find his way out soon.

Walking through the forest was a nerve-wracking experience. Everywhere you turned, there seemed to monsters reaching out from the shadows to grab you. Forest noises sounded more scary than one thought possible. All the trees looked the same and they conspired against you, taking turns raising their roots to send you tripping to the ground. Bushes and overgrowth grabbed at your clothing and yanked your hair. Birds screamed at you from the trees and unknown entities whispered threats from the ground. When fear set in, logical thoughts were hard to come by. Hunger dug its claws into your stomach while thirst tied a noose around your neck.

Harry had dropped his bag a sweets around the fifth time he'd tripped over a tree root. He'd wet his pants with fear the seventh time he fell and heard up close the whispers coming from within the bushes. The sun had set long ago and with its departure there came even more loud threatening forest sounds. Harry had skinned both of his palms, his knee, and had cut his face. His clothes were ripped from him yanking away from the twiggy fingers of the bushes' grabbing hands. His legs hurt. His mouth was dry. His stomach was growling, but at least that was something nearly comforting in its familiarity. He wanted to stop and rest, but Uncle Vernon had told him the moment he stopped moving was when the forest beasts would catch his scent and set their sights on him.

He kept telling himself to keep moving. Just a little bit farther. Just a few more steps. If you stop, they will get you. Just keep on moving.

He was almost positive his eyes were playing tricks on him when he saw light coming from up a head. But when the light only grew stronger as he went towards it, instead of disappearing like a mirage, he thought maybe it was real after all. Grabbing hold of the last feeble strands of determination he had within him, Harry picked up his pace and headed for the light.

Harry didn't remembering breaking through the tree line. He didn't remember stumbling into to open land, tripping over nothing, and rolling through grass towards a large empty house. He didn't remember finally allowing himself to rest now that he was out of the forest. He didn't remember succumbing to sleep and being moved inside the house by a creature he had never seen before.

All he could remember was feeling completely safe for once in his life.