As always, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. The prior chapters, like most of my writing are rated T. *This one is NOT. It is rated M,* so be forewarned. If you have objections to M rated material, please move on. It's not terribly graphic, but its rated M for a reason. Thanks again to those who read my work faithfully. If you read, please review!
When the knock on the front door sounded, she was the last person he expected to see. A neighbor needing to borrow something, or the pizza guy at the wrong apartment again, yes. Kensi, no. And especially not that version of Kensi. He figured he'd be in trouble one way or the other. He knew she probably wouldn't let it go. Either she'd kick his ass or find a way to torture him over it, but she wouldn't let that whole kiss thing die a peaceful death. And she hasn't.
He's thought of her more nights than he can count as he's fallen asleep alone. He's imagined what it would feel like to kiss her, what her body might feel like pressed against his. What it would be like to have those eyes look up into his as he undresses her. He's lived a thousand fantasies about her, lying in his bed. He's never once imagined they could really happen. And yet, here she is.
Her kisses are even more intense than he's imagined. Her hands in his hair, her lips on his neck, her tight, perfect body leaning into his is even more intoxicating than the fantasy. Her scent, so feminine and familiar, makes it hard to breathe. He lets himself feel her, taste her, breathe her in. He pushes back the fact that she is his partner, and they probably shouldn't be doing this. He has no idea how far things will go, but he's not going to be the one to stop them. Self-control is at a premium right now, and he just can't afford it.
She's somehow allowing him to be the one in control. She's slightly unlike herself, yielding and receptive, and it's incredibly sexy to see her let go and let it happen. He kisses her deeply, exploring her mouth with his tongue, seductively biting her lower lip between kisses. He tugs on her earlobe with his teeth, and bites her neck and shoulder as he kisses them, eliciting the sexiest sounds he's ever heard from anyone.
He runs his hand under her shirt and finds the clasp of her bra. This is it…the moment she'll either pull back or succumb. He lets his fingers play over the clasp, holding his breath as he kisses her, awaiting her response.
She pulls back, but not how he fears. "You're really good at this."
"You thought I wouldn't be? Thanks, Fern," he says, gently biting the sensitive spot below her ear.
"Doesn't matter. You are," she says, her eyes closed, her head falling back.
"He smiles against her neck. "You ain't seen nothin' yet."
Her only response is the rush of her breath as he unhooks her bra. He runs his hand over the soft skin between her shoulder blades, skin he never thought he'd touch. He realizes they're still standing inside his front door, and pulls her along to the couch, never breaking contact with her. He sits and pulls her down beside him, kissing her for long minutes, without doing anything more intimate than stroking the skin of her back. He wants to take his time, live this fantasy to its fullest. If this only happens once, he wants it to be everything he's ever hoped for, with nothing to regret.
She pulls back a bit and smiles. "I can't believe you wouldn't kiss me."
"Believe it or not, I don't kiss a lot of women, Kens," he says stroking her hair back. "It's an intimate thing. The most intimate thing you can do with another person."
"Um, I think there might be something more intimate," she whispers against his lips.
He shakes his head, pulling back from another kiss. "No. Think about it…when we kiss, you're staring into my eyes from an inch away, seeing into my soul. We're tasting each other's tongues, breathing each other's breaths. What could be more intimate than that?" he says, proving his point with a long, intimate kiss, so passionate he feels her tremble against him.
She whispers into his mouth. "You win."
She nods, her eyes closed. "Uh huh."
He pulls her onto his lap, her knees on either side of his hips. He feels her heat sink into him, and it makes him raise his hips against her. Her hands are in his hair as she kisses him, and all he can think about is taking her to his bedroom. He forces himself to take it slow and enjoy the exquisite agony. He feels her press herself against him, rocking her hips. He groans and lets his head fall back, and she kisses the place where neck meets shoulder.
Her mouth opens against his skin, and he feels her teeth as she bites him. The pressure is incredibly erotic, and as she bites harder he can't quite decide if it's sexy or sadistic. Either way, he can't breathe. Her hands move over his chest, pulling his tee shirt up to expose his skin. He pulls the shirt off, then grasps hers blouse and opens it in one fluid motion.
She smiles, looking surprised. "These look like buttons. How did you know they unsnap?"
He smiles back at her, running a finger along her collarbone. "Kensi, I spend a lot of time looking at your chest when you think I'm not. I know how your clothes work," he says, sliding the shirt off her shoulders.
She smiles seductively back at him, reaching down to undo the button on his cargo shorts. "I know how yours work, too."
He closes his eyes and sucks in a breath as her fingers brush against him through the fabric while she works the button. "Kens…"
"I want you."
He opens his eyes and stares at her.
"You're beautiful," he whispers.
"So are you," she says, fingertips tracing his cheek.
He kisses her again, catching the hem of her tank top and raising it to her breasts. "You wear too many clothes, Fern."
"So take 'em off, Shaggy."
He groans at that, and pulls the shirt over her head. He doesn't stare, doesn't touch her, just pulls her against him, relishing the feel of their bare skin pressed together as he kisses her. She moves against him, pressing herself intimately close, and he grasps her hips, pulling her against him. "These jeans have to go."
She moves off of him to stand. "I agree."
He's eye level with her zipper, and slowly undoes it, sliding the jeans down the length of her legs, her panties still intact. "Again, too many clothes," he says, slipping them down as well. She kicks them off and stands there, held in place by his hands on her hips. He looks up at her, and kisses just below her belly button. He feels a tremor run through her, hears the intake of breath at that simple kiss. And it's all he needs to know.
He kisses an inch lower, and hears another sharp breath. A few inches lower, and she's gasping, hands in his hair, moaning his name. He's never even dared to fantasize about this, knew he'd never be able to face her if he did. But now it's real, and it outdoes any fantasy he could have ever had.
She's pulling his hair, yanking him up, desperate and breathless. "Deeks…please…"
He stands up, pulling her into his arms, and she kisses him fiercely. She reaches down and tugs at his zipper, sliding his shorts and boxers over his hips. They pool around his ankles, and he kicks them off. He feels her hands on him, running over his back, his shoulders, his belly. Then one hand surrounds him, tentatively moving down the length of him and back up. He sucks in a shuddering breath, his head falling back at the feel of it. "Kensi…"
He returns to his senses a little and takes her hand. He leads her to his bed and pushes her down, moving over her, pushing her knees apart with his own. He settles his body against hers, and feels her arch into him. He wants her desperately, but forces himself to wait. He kisses her lips, her neck, her shoulders. He moves to her breasts, and feels her hands in his hair, feels her chest heave with labored breaths.
She's pulling at him, desperate with passion. "Please…"
He can't take it anymore. He wants her. He pauses, looking down into her eyes, taking her in. She's all he's ever dreamed of, all he's ever wanted. And in this incredibly intimate moment, he lets himself realize what he's suspected for so long. He's in love with Kensi Blye, his partner, the one woman he never imagined he could have. He resists the urge to say it, and then something incredible happens.
She looks up into his eyes, hers heavy-lidded with passion. "I love you."
He kisses her, relief and completion and joy coursing through him. "I love you back."
She twines her hands in his hair and pulls him into a breathtaking kiss, arching herself into him. He rocks his hips against her, and she pulls at him. "Please, Deeks…"
He brings them together, and she cries out, clutching at him, her nails biting into his back. He moves slowly, savoring the feel of her. She finds his rhythm, and within minutes, she's trembling, panting, contracting around him.
When she stills, coming out of it, he stops and stares down at her, smiling in amazement. "Seriously? Did you just…"
Still panting, eyes closed, she nods.
"Wow, Fern. And I thought us guys got a bad rap for that."
She opens her eyes slightly and smiles. "Difference is, Shaggy, I'll do it again. And again."
This is the hottest conversation he's probably ever had, and considering what he's doing while he's having it, he has to force himself under control, which is hard, because she's rolling her hips against him, running her hands over his chest, leaning up to kiss him. He forces down the urge to explode, forces her to go slow. It only lasts so long before she's increasing their tempo, panting, sinking her nails into his back and shoulders again. And this time, he can't stop himself. Her name is a desperate cry as he finds his release along with her, burying his face in her neck, trembling.
Minutes later, once their limbs stop shaking and their breathing slows, he pulls back to look at her. "I've waited so long for this."
He rolls onto his back, pulling her with him to lie with her head on his chest. He pulls a blanket over them and holds her close. He loves her. He's told her as much. And she loves him. It doesn't change who they are, though.
It's as if she can tell what he's thinking. "I don't regret this. But I want to keep it between us."
He strokes her hair and kisses the top of her head. "I agree. It's no one's business anyway."
"No, it's not."
"Do you think they'd have a problem with it at work?"
"I don't know. I wouldn't care if they did, honestly. We have a horrible job. We see things no one should see. People try to kill us. We kill them. There has to be some point to it all, some good in this life, don't you think?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do. And this is it, Kens. This is the point. You and me, and finding that one person on earth that gets you, and knows you, and knows all your issues, and loves you anyway."
"I get you," she says, looking up at him with a loving smile.
"I get you, too. And I know you and all your issues," he says, kissing her softly. "And I love you anyway. I always will."
She reaches to touch his cheek. "I'm going to hold you to that, Shaggy."
He smiles, leaning down to kiss her. "I'm counting on it, Fern."