Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.
The pain. All that pain. I tried not to show it. He was pacing frantically beside me. Hands in hair. Tugging. Mumbling to himself. Angry. Scared.
Angry because I refused to go to the hospital yet. Scared because this was something new. Something totally different. Something we had wanted, something we had celebrated but something scary none the less.
"Why…" More mumbling. More pacing. More tugging. "Can we go to the hospital now, please?"
His whiny tone made me smile. His whole demeanor made me smile. He was… adorable.
"Come here. Sit down next to me." He did as I asked. Just like he'd always done.
"Then yes, I will marry you."
His smile was radiant. Beautiful. Breathtaking. He jumped up. Arms encircled me. Lips found mine. And in that second I was home once again. My home had found me. And I knew, I knew for sure, that I'd never let it go again. I'd never run away again. I'd never try to take my home, my happiness, away from me again.
And in that moment, after all the heartache and pain my life had been leading up to this, in that moment I asked myself, "Why wait?" I had waited my whole life. People spend their whole life waiting for something great to happen but why wait? Why not take initiative and start acting. So I just asked him. Because I was tired of waiting.
"Let's get married right now. I don't wanna wait. I just wanna go home, get Leona and get married. She has to be there but no one else. Just us. Do you wanna marry me? Right now?"
After a lot of staring he had said yes. And smiled that breathtaking smile again. Just for me. And then we got married. We got a license. And we got married. In a nice little church by some nice old man that was kind enough to do it late at night. And it was perfect. We didn't need dresses or tuxedos, bridesmaids or nervous friends. Just us. And a crying Leona.
After a lot of staring and pleading with his eyes he sat down next to me. I leaned my head onto his shoulder. Took a deep breath. Closed my eyes. Smiled.
I took his hand and put it onto my belly.
"Are you excited?"
And his eyes answered for him. Shining as brilliantly as on our wedding day.
"Very. You have no idea. I can't wait. But I want this baby to wait till we're in the hospital but I don't know if it's gonna listen because, frankly, children never listen to what their parents say so can we, I'm begging you, can we go now?"
Back to rambling. Back to mumbling. Back to pacing. Back to tugging.
Back to smiling.
After getting married we bought a house. We could. Because his parents gave us the money. And at first I wanted to refuse to take it and scream and cry and throw a fit but I relented. Because parents are supposed to love their child. Parents are supposed to support and help their child. And since this was the only way Edward let them do it I would be okay with it. And I really wanted a house.
I went to university. Edward opened his own little studio where he taught children, recorded his own music, sold it and where people could book him. It ran good. We made enough money to get me through school, to keep our house and to allow Leona to live with us. Because in those few weeks that I had lived with her she had given me more love than anyone apart from Edward ever had. And I loved her.
We were comfortable. And that's all I had ever wanted.
At the hospital he informed every nurse and every doctor of every contraction. He was being protective. He wanted everything to go right. He wanted something to do. Something to distract him.
The tugging didn't stop. The mumbling didn't stop. The pacing didn't stop.
Whenever I had a contraction his face would contort into this mask of pain and longing and fear. But he would hold my hand. And he would talk me through it. Just like he always had.
I stared at the test willing it to disappear. Because we had wanted this. Because we had asked for this. But we had thought it would take longer. That we'd have more time to prepare ourselves.
I wasn't ready for this yet. At least not in that moment. I was scared of ruining this. Ruining this child. I was scared that my child would someway have to go through the same things I had to go through as a kid. I didn't want that. I wanted it to grow up like Edward did. The perfect parents.
We weren't perfect though.
We were messy. We were lazy. We were sometimes irresponsible. We were scatterbrained. We fought. We made up. Sometimes we didn't even know how to take care of ourselves.
For three days I kept my pregnancy a secret. From Edward. From Leona. That is until he confronted me about me "acting weird". And I told him that he was delusional. And then we fought. He said he knew his wife. That he knew me better than I knew myself. I told him he was delusional. We fought. Leona laughed. We made up.
And I told him. About the pregnancy. About my fears.
And he turned fear into happiness. Like he always had.
After each contraction he would kiss my hand and forehead and lips and nose over and over again mumbling, "If I could I'd take the pain away I swear. But I can't. I'm so sorry. I hate seeing you like this."
And I'd take his hand and hold it to my belly and say, "It's all for him. It's okay. I've been through worse."
And the flash of pain in his eyes would be quickly masked by mischief. "It's a girl. We've discussed that."
And we'd both smile like the happy idiots we were remembering the day at the doctor's office.
Our doctor sat down in a chair regarding us with a smile. Edward held my hand.
"So, do you guys wanna know the sex of the baby?" – "Yes. We have this room for the baby and we wanted to decorate it and I already wanted to start but Bella always said we'd have to wait to find out the sex so yeah… We want to know."
He was nervous again. Rambling. I giggled.
"Okay then. Let's get this show on the road."
She squeezed the yucky gel onto my stomach and started moving the ultrasound wand around. Edward squeezed my hand. Smiling.
The heartbeat again. Like everytime. It made my own heart stutter. My eyes tear a little. My breaths come a little faster. Because this was our baby. Our child that we loved with everything we had in us.
"So it seems like he or she is a bit shy. I can't get a good enough view." Edward frowned. In that adorable way. Frustrated. Never disappointed though. "We can try at your next check up. Everything else looks fine."
We tried everytime. We failed everytime.
Going through the process of labor and giving birth has been special. Many women say it's something horrible. Going through all that pain. It wasn't easy. It hurt. But it was all worth it.
Edward was a mess. Frantic. Scared of something going wrong. Scared of me not being able to go through the pain. Scared of the unknown. I was calm. This baby brought with it a new calmness. Because I would go through anything for this baby. Do anything for this baby.
In my last trimester Edward's dad called. Leona picked up the phone. He wanted to talk to me.
A lot of different emotions cursed through me. The overruling one being fear. But I wouldn't let fear stop me anymore. I could face fear. For me. For Edward. For our baby.
He wanted to talk to me. Asked for forgiveness. Asked if they could make it up to us. Someway. Sometime. And I told him to visit us. To see the man his son had become. The husband. The father. And to see his happiness and be happy about his happiness.
And they did. We still weren't the best of friends. But we were on our way.
The moment we heard it cry for the first time was overwhelming. Edward's hand where shaking. He kissed my hand. Over and over again. His tears were dropping onto my hand. He mumbled "thank you" over and over again.
The "It's a girl." made me giggle through my tears. And it made Edward look smug.
And a few hours later, we were all in the hospital bed. Edward held his baby girl in his arms. Stared down at her. Couldn't take his eyes off her.
"I never in a million years thought it'd be this intense. To love. I would do anything for you two. Anything. I'm scared. Of not being enough. But then I think about how it's impossible that any other parents love their child as much as we do so… We can't screw this up. It's impossible. Because we love her. More than anything."
A short pause.
"We need a name. A pretty one. A name that is adequate for an angel. She is so beautiful. Perfect. She has your lips and nose and my hair and she is perfect. We need to take lots of pictures."
Her little yawn made both of our eyes water. His pinky finger stroked her cheek. My hand stroked her head.
And just like that we were complete.
A/N: So this was it. The last chapter. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE THAT READ THIS OR PUT IT ON ALERT OR FAVORITED IT OR REVIEWED. I never thought anyone would ever be interested in this and you all blew me away. Thank you so very much. I can't even express how happy I am someone read this and actually liked it lol. Every little review made me smile. You guys were just amazing.
A HUGE THANK YOU ALSO TO LINH. Without her I would've never even posted this. Thank you. Her support was needed. I love you.
So, thank you so much for reading this and I hope you liked it. Kay shutting up now. Bye 3