I don't own anything
Sequel to Siripop but not necessary to read this…
Once again, I would like to thank Ollipop/ Ollypop (varies on spelling) from Morganville Vampires for inspiring me to write this fic…
As soon as Lily opens her mouth, I get the sense that what she is going to say is not going to be in my favour. Don't ask me why, it's just a sensation I get that runs down my back sometimes just before something bad happens. It's happened to me before, when Lucy announced she was in love with another man, when Chudley Cannons played their match as to decide whether or not they would remain in the top league and then proceeded to loose and even when I was sent the letter from my Mother informing me my Father had died… though that was more of a happy sensation than the others.
Yet back to the present and what Lily Evans, sorry Potter, is proceeding to say as she stands in front of three hundred guests (who thought she even knew that many people?) from the 'important people' table at her wedding.
It involves the name Siripop. So that automatically makes the sensation I had in, well, my back right.
"I was deliberating whether or not to get James a present since, after all, he is already getting to marry me," her face lights up as she looks down at her husband – bleugh, singledom all the way – and the guests begin to laugh. But then the back feeling – what else am I going to call it? – returns and the nickname Prongs coined in 5th year comes back into the equation. "It boiled down to the sudden remembrance of a certain day in our schooling, when I returned to the Common Room to find Sirius had been rechristened 'Siripop'," she turns and winks at me as the entire room, no jokes, turns to look at me.
As I am such a famous person – hello, champion Quidditch player when I could be bothered to play and of course I beat Lily in O. and N.E. – I am totally used to having photos taken of me and so the attention wasn't an issue. Well, perhaps that would be true if the attention was on me for a positive reason rather than 'Siripop'.
"And there was me thinking that Siripop had gone out with your bad dress sense and James' major arrogance," I retort smoothly, grinning back at her sardonic expression as she looks at me.
She rolls her eyes before refocusing upon the rest of the guests in the hall and raises her wand slightly. "Therefore, I decided that this could be a useful starting point for a present," she continues as if I hadn't interrupted her. "Hence, here is my present from myself to James – the Siripop song!" she exclaims with glee and shoots her wand in the direction of the megaphone upon the other side of the room.
Instantly, it begins playing one of the worst songs in the history of the universe. Of course, I can only hear the Siripop bit…
Long black hair and a grin on his face
Don't look back, remember his name…
all say… SIRIPOP!
He gets mad if you call him Sirry,
or Si-i-ree-us too
Blackie is a no-no
so Siripop it is!
you are the greatest friend we have
possibly the funniest as well
and your name is SIRIPOP
Everyone join in!
Sirius the Siripop
of course he loves you too
so call him…
It does go on from there… I am just too embarrassed to listen to anymore. It's like back in Hogwarts when he put the poster on the noticeboard for everyone to see…and he publicly called me it… and told everyone to pass on the message.
"I am going to kill you," I growl in the direction of my best friend, but he simply laughs and then decides to amplify his own voice so that he can be heard over the rest of the singers. Of course, he isn't exactly in tune but since when has James cared about being the best? Or even mediocre?
I sink further and further down into my chair as people begin to turn towards me and laugh at the ridiculous name, once again, granted to me and been publicised to remind people of the months of ridicule I went through. It wasn't until James finally managed to snare Lily in the first few weeks of seventh year that people began to forget what they called me for god know's how long and start to call me Sirius again. Even Moony, Prongs and Wormtail took about that length of time to return to calling me Padfoot.
A grin begins to spread over my face as I begin to contemplate my possible avenues of revenge. And they begin with the house sitting I am doing over the next ten days, whilst the newlyweds are off to visit America!
Fourteen minutes before they are due to arrive back – Lily kept them to a very tight scheduling of their arrival and departing – and I am finished with my redecorating of their home. It's a shame that Voldemort has to be after them as otherwise I'd have invited the press along to the unveiling of their newly redesigned home, courtesy of me.
I have defaced every Quidditch cup James has ever owned and destroyed some of the books Lily has – but they are all repairable – as well as redesigning some of their furniture and scattering clothes all around the place. To normal people like you and me, that doesn't seem like such a big deal but to Lily… oh god; I remember when I left a plate out and the lecture she gave me about that – it's enough to make me want to crawl up into a ball and die. That is, of course, if I didn't enjoy living too much and want to kick Voldemort's ass.
I transfigure myself into a button on the side and observe as they return home.
"Oh my GOD, what has Sirius done?" Lily screeches, evidently the happiness of the honeymoon over as soon as she Apparates into the house.
"What is this?" James, of course, goes straight for the newspaper I left on the side with the main trick I am playing on him. Here's the article I wrote for him (and the way I did it made it seem as if it is a real and published article):
James Potter, recently married, is rumoured to have been the ringleader of the new Gay Death Eaters Are Cooler Than The Originals group and is currently away on honeymoon to prove to himself that he is gay, or deny it as it probably will swing.
Rumours about Potter's sexual orientation have been rife since third year, when he denied the chance to date one of the most eligible girls in the school, Jennie Glass. People have always believed that his mission to 'get' Lily Potter, nèe Evans, has been simply that, to help him fend off his own reservations about his preferences.
More on the story when the Potters return from their honeymoon to the Seychelles – stay tuned!
"What the-?" James begins in confusion before comprehension dawns on him. "I… who knows about where we went on honeymoon?" he asks Lily, who seems to contemplating this.
As a button, I creep closer towards the window, expecting my brain to blow up with the tone of her voice…
"SIRIUS BLACK I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" she screeches. Yes, my ears are dead… and my body. Great.
Siripop lives to see another day!