TITLE: Cut off

RATING: this part is NC-17 (to be safe)

TYPE: Yaoi, Humour, Mystery

BLURB: Like it says in the intro, Yohji cuts off Ken and Aya for treating him like a sex object. So how would THEY take that? And What would Yohji do to kill all the time that frees up? He goes to look for his long lost father. . .

"Aya~!" Ken whined. "You had him LAST night! It's MY turn!"

"NO! That was two days ago! It's MY turn tonight."

Not exactly the type of argument one would expect to overhear at Koneko…. Especially considering that the "him" in question was none other than Myself. No, not Omi… Aya is many things, but a pedophile is NOT one of them. I'm Yohji. Ken and Aya are arguing over which of them 'gets' to sleep with me tonight. Even though this argument seems odd, it's one I actually hear quite frequently. Not that I'm usually one to reject two hot guys, but look at my choices:

There's Aya-who will only let me call him by his real name in BED (in fact, HATES to be called Aya in bed... go figure) Likes it HARD and FAST…and can't decide whether he likes it best on top or bottom…

There's Ken-who's a MUCH bigger softie than you'd expect a pro-soccer player turned assassin to be. He's always on the bottom, and always wants it slow and sensual.

There were times when I usually didn't have much luck with men. Women were the usual fare; Men were the icing on the cake. Which is why originally, I didn't complain when two good-looking men started fighting over me when Aya first joined Weiß. But since then it's gotten rather monotonous. When I spend the night with one, the other gets mad. When I decide to spend my evenings with someone else, both of them get mad at me. And that REALLY tends to take the thrill out of a relationship. I'm left feeling like some cheap man-whore. And quite frankly, I'm getting sick of it. So that's why I cut in this endearing little reverie.

"GUYS! LISTEN to yourselves! Do you even know how BAD that sounds?" I interrupted. "Answer me this: When is it MY turn, eh?"

With that, I stopped to see the confused look that crept across Ken's face, and the angry face creep against Aya's.

"YOUR turn? What, you going to go screw yourself?" Aya asked.

That was about the time when I lost it.

"I am NOT some sex object for you to play with whenever you feel like! I'm a living man, and I'd like some say in who I sleep with and when. And right now, I'm getting sick of you two and your bitching! You want cheap thrills? Get yourself a hooker. I can recommend a few good ones. Until you start giving me some respect, you're not getting ANYTHING from ME!"

With that, I walked away, and slammed the door for good measure on my way out. Okay, so I lied about the hookers, but I think I made my point. Sheesh, all that and Omi was just now closing the shop. I went upstairs to my own room to calm down and sort things out before figuring out what I was going to do that evening.

I managed to keep myself from doing what would usually be the first thing I'd do in such a situation: that is, light a cigarette. I'm an expert in asphyxiation, for crying out loud. I should know the benefits of having a healthy set of lungs. So I've recently put a push of effort in trying to give up the bad habit I'd picked up after Asuka was shot. Instead, I found a jug of fruit juice in my fridge (I have JUICE?) I drank it all. It was due to expire in a few days, anyway. Then, I sat on my bed and watched TV until there was a knock at the door.

"YES?" I called.

"Yohji? It's me!" came a voice. Omi's voice.

"Come in."

Omi came in and found himself a spot on the bed beside me.

"Yohji, do you know what's wrong with Ken and Aya?" He asked. "They're fighting and blaming each other for something."

"Blaming each other?"

"You know... 'It's your fault' 'It's YOUR fault' ... that sort of thing."

I managed to piece together what was going on from there.

"Ah... they're mad at each other cuz I blew up at them for treating me like a sex toy."

I wish I had a camera. The innocent youth's eyes bugged out at this point. It was really quite funny.

"WHAAAT?" He finally managed to get out.

"I've been sleeping with both of them. I just got sick of not having a say in the matter." I explained.

"You're GAY?!"

"NO, Aya is gay. I'm just bisexual."

"So you're half gay."

"Hey! I don't particularly like that euphemism."

"So how would YOU put it?"

"I swing both ways."