Author's note: I'm back! And I brought this chapter with me!
Anyways I bet you wondering why this chapter took me FOUR MONTHS TO POST!
Well I have three lame excuses:
2. Team Fortress 2 is now free to play, I can now back stab all my friends.
Sorry about that.
I would like to thank Cuddles_the_destroyer who tried to stop me from being a lazy bitch but he's only human.
Editor's Note: Yeah, I pretty much am a failure. And I was playing TF2 and dealing with school as well. Straight Ds in advanced classes For the Win! And that's before I even started looking at this!
Recap: Then my brain finally kicked in and it dawned on me that I had just ended the life of a man I had pledged to save from the tyranny of GLaDOS.
She was right.
I really am a monster.
I stood there for what felt like four months, gazing at the man who's life I just ended. Blood was seeping out from where I hit him at the base of his skull. His blue shirt and overalls had already been permanently stained red with his blood.
His face was clearly contorted with pain, despite his eyes being invisible behind his blood specked goggles.
I wonder if he had a family, he certainly looks like the fatherly type.
The guilt I felt increased tenfold, but before it could become crippling the part of my brain that had begged me not to trust anything reminded me of a simple fact.
I'm still in Aperture and this is just another test of my will to survive, by any sadistic means that can be thought up by an immoral computer.
Though, test or not, is my life really worth more then the life of another? I killed this man simply because he could of hurt me. For all I know he might of helped me out had I given him the chance. But no. I'm a monster who killed a fellow human because I could, and it was the easiest course of action.
Except I didn't kill a human. I killed a clone, made by GLaDOS with the sole purpose of killing others.
Clones don't have families. Not in the traditional sense.
But I still don't know anything about this clone, though. For all I know, he could of hated GLaDOS and was trying to escape just like me.
Hell, I'm not even entirely sure he was a clone...there is a chance he might of been a survivor, right?
No, everybody in the complex is dead! There is absolutely no way he could of been anything other then a clone created by GLaDOS from the remains of one of her God know how many killing sprees. Besides, while killing a clone is regrettable, its not the same as killing a human. Yeah!
The thought of him being just another clone was comforting but the guilt of killing him before I even knew his intentions settled like a rock in my gut.
Clones aren't exactly like GLaDOS's turrets. They have their own thoughts and feelings, the ability to choose freely as sentient creatures. They're just as human as I am.
But if they have their own feeling and free will, isn't it possible he could of been just as cruel as GLaDOS, conditioned from conception by her violent rhetoric?
After all the last humans, or perhaps clones, I ran into were psychopaths.
Perhaps the environment GLaDOS created for them drove them to kill. It certainly makes sense. GLaDOS is not exactly a...stabilizing influence for a developing mind.
Of course, if they were strong, they would have brushed it off like I've been able to.
If anyone else was put in my situation, they probably would start talking to robots or inanimate objects! People who do that sort of stuff are batshit insane!
Thus, as the only sane one left, I am justified in killing if it ensures my survival.
It just like destroying those turrets with the adorable voices. They would try and kill me the second they saw me and I don't want to die.
I'll do whatever it takes beat each test chamber, its why I'm still alive.
I wiped off the clone's blood covering my crowbar on his shirt before cautiously peering around the shacks wall into the courtyard beyond.
The courtyard itself was empty save for a few random boxes and crates haphazardly strewn about. But beyond this apparent emptiness was a large circular door, similar to the other test chamber doors at Aperture Sciences, except it was bigger and metallic grey instead of sterile white.
This meant there was nothing between me and the blue briefcase that had been carelessly left in the middle of the concrete floor. I could walk in and just take the briefcase and read all the papers hastily shoved into the rather large case.
This is way to easy.
There are no gun turrets, no pools of acid, no bottomless pits, absolutely nothing lethal has been visibly placed in the room. GLaDOS didn't even put up an emancipation grill to stop me from using the portals I had already placed outside to escape when GLaDOS inevitably locks all the doors and floods the room with neurotoxin. Again.
Well I'm not going to run in there blindly just because GLaDOS didn't make her death traps obvious.
I shot a portal under the briefcase and the briefcase immediately fell through and landed at my feet.
That test was only slightly more difficult then the first test chamber Wheatley made... and GLaDOS is in charge again. Either she's losing her touch or she has an extremely elaborate trap planed for me. Or she's studying my ability to adapt to incredibly easy situations. For some reason.
I will just have to stay on my toes... as usual.
Sighing, I bent over and picked up the briefcase. GLaDOS immediately exclaimed, in a far more human voice than I ever remember her using, "Alert! The enemy has taken our intelligence!"
I twitched in shock at GLaDOS's unexpected exclamation, dropping the briefcase as I instinctively drew my portal gun in one fluid motion, aiming directly at the source of the noise, an unassuming little intercom speaker attached to the wall right above the door leading into the room where the briefcase was held.
GLaDOS only response was to simply intone "The enemy has dropped our intelligence." in that rather bored yet mocking manner, taunting me for my supposed ineptitude.
Glad to see that hasn't changed.
Normally that would be the brunt of my problems, but I was much more concerned with the loud clomping of feet of the dead clone's testing partners growing louder and louder.
Oh crap! I closed my portal on the roof of the complex to get the briefcase! WHAT DO I DO NOW?
Fanatically looking around, I noticed that on the far side of the obviously booby-trapped room that GLaDOS had stored the blue briefcase in, there was another open door. Behind that door was a plain concrete wall that was just begging to have a portal placed on it.
This probably means that by placing a portal there I will be trapped in yet another booby trapped room, but I'm running out of options here! I'll figure out the next trap when it's spring.
I grabbed the briefcase yet again, causing GLaDOS to immediately intone, "Alert! The enemy has taken our intelligence!"
Shut up, you crazy bitch.
I quickly shot a new portal at the wall and jumped through the old one on the shack wall.
I immediately noticed that this wall was part of a ledge in front of a courtyard, one that was overlooked by a balcony leading back into the factory.
The concrete walled factory! I might just get out of here after all!
I began to teleport my way to the balcony, avoiding the large metal door in front of me in favor of going through one of the relatively small doorways behind me because I have been stuck in the Aperture facility long enough to know that large doors equal bad news for my constitution. I immediately found myself in the battlements overlooking the entirety of GLaDOS's weird farm/factory complex.
If I use my binoculars here, I might be able to find a surface I can place a portal on that is relatively close to my cave.
I would have gotten out of this complex in under a minute if it wasn't for the clone standing right in front of me, sniper rifle trained on the bridges spanning the chasm between the two sides of the complex.
Actually, that chasm gives me a hilarious and effective idea for dealing with this guy...
I just hope he doesn't notice me setting up my trap and try to kill me, it seems to be what everyone does the second they see me.
Why do they do that?
Anyway, I shot a portal on the wall of the huge canyon stretching between bases while carefully watching the sniper to make sure he doesn't notice me.
Surprisingly, he doesn't. I guess I'm too used to those psycho turrets who start firing at me the second I get within their firing vectors...good god I hate those things.
I crouch down and moving as quietly as I can, slowly moving in front of him until I am crouched in front of him but not in the way of his rifle.
This guy is completely oblivious! its like he can't see anything that's not in his scope...
Oh well, that works fine for me... I fire my second portal behind him and push him through before he has time to react... not that he would have. He continued to stare through his scope for three whole seconds before noticing where he was and screaming as he fell to his death.
Oh my god that was hilarious! That almost as funny as the time I covered those turrets in repulsion gel while burning them with a thermal discouragement beam... good times.
I better get out of here before GLaDOS finishes vat growing another one.
I took out my binoculars and scanned the area around my cave looking for any surface I could place a portal on.
Fortunately I found a billboard a good distance away from the facility... it will be a long walk to my cave but it beats sticking around and getting killed by a clone.
After teleporting to the billboard and making sure to place both my portals on it so no one could follow me I began the long walk back to my cave...
Author's note: Oh my god I'm finally done with that chapter! It was fun to write but there were a lot of problems me and Cuddles had to sort out... sorry about that...
Thanks for all the reviews guys without them I would of abandoned this story to laziness a long time ago.
Oh and don't worry the comedy will be back soon.
Now a word from our editor Cuddles...
Editor's notes: So much wooooorrrrrrrkkkk... My focus on this has basically gone down the can ever since school started back up. I also have 2 jobs and am paid for neither (for legitimate reasons) and that eats up even more of my time. Among many other things. Basically, I have a really bad 3 past months. Ah well, Saints Row: The Third, Battlefield 3, Modern Warfare 3, Grand Theft Auto 5, and Mass Effect 3 are coming out soonish (as in before I go to college next August). Besides, I can barely tolerate the usual *ahem* "Differences in artistic vision" between Zanna and I. Zanna will probably complain about my complaining, but at least she still has a competent editor!
Author's note: Normally, I would make a snide remark about how Cuddles is whining about how much his life sucks to you guys, but right now I'm just to happy about finally posting this after two months!
Also Cuddles is awesome, I like Cuddles.
By the way, do you guys want the next chapter to focus on Chell or one of the Team Fortress 2 character's reactions? Tell me in your reviews!
Today is a good day.