Title: Inconveniences

Summary: Sam's living in a one room apartment, with two hyperactive eight year olds, he's only got one grade that's not a D. Thank god for Kurt Hummel and his superpowers. Kurt/Sam

Disclaimer: I canna change the laws of the universe! Therefore, me no owny glee.

A/N: I discovered I still ship Kurt/Sam. With Sam, I keep seeing Kurt's adorable domestic side, as opposed to the sheer badassery of St. Hummel. Then I was struck by the compulsive need to post, so apologies for any obvious errors.

"Hey Kurt. Thanks so much for agreeing to tutor me-I'm failing everything except Spanish and that's just because Mr. Schue pities me." Kurt smiled and stepped into the motel room. Sam looked relieved to see him.

"No problem at all. Stacy! Tu es plus grand!" Stacy shrieked and leapt off the bed, into Kurt's arms. Sam groaned as Brandon followed her, attaching himself to Kurt's leg. "Brandon! Comment allez-vous?"

"You know they don't speak French." Sam couldn't help but grin anyway. Since Kurt first coming over to deliver him clothing, both his siblings had become enamored of the brunette. He wasn't sure whether it was the tiara Kurt had given Stacy or the fact that he'd taught Brandon how to do a high kick.

"Not yet." Kurt responded. He put Stacy down and crouched next to Brandon. "Guess what I brought for you two?"

"What?" Stacy was jumping up and down with anticipation. Sam hadn't seen her like that since…well, since they'd actually had the money to buy her a new toy instead of sell them. Brandon, the quieter of the two, was simply staying attached to Kurt's leg.

"Aladdin." Kurt brought the dvd from his bag. "And, I have my laptop for you to watch it on!" Stacy clapped her hands. Sam grinned. It made him stupidly happy to see her that excited about something. "But you two have to do something. You can watch, but you need to use headphones-" he produced them from his bag with a flourish. "And let Sam and I do our homework. Do we have a deal?"


"Yes Kurty!" Sam stifled a laugh in his sleeve. Brandon was the only one he'd ever heard call Kurt a stupid nickname and get away with it.

"Great! Let's get you two seated comfortably, and you can begin! Sam, if you could put the books wherever you want to sit, I'll be right with you." Sam watched for a moment as his siblings settled down at the head of his parent's bed. They didn't actually have a proper table in the room. Kurt patted Brandon's head and hurried back over to Sam.

"Here dude, we usually use these boxes." Kurt didn't comment, which Sam was enormously grateful for. Rachel's look of horror at his living place had been awful. Kurt sat crosslegged on the floor, placing the biology textbook on the box. "Dude, can they hear us?"

"Not a chance in hell. Those headphones are like magic." Kurt flipped open the textbook. "So currently we're on Mitochondria, what don't you understand?"

"Um…" Sam flushed. "I stopped understanding at that dude with the pea plants." Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Mendel and his punted squares? Alright, we'll being there. Aladdin is two hours, we should have enough time to get you caught up to chapter seventeen." Sam shifted in an uncomfortable way that had nothing to do with sitting on the floor.

"I actually need help in, well, everything." Kurt paused. Sam waited for the inevitable giving up speech that he was used to from his teachers.

"I'll come over this whole week then. I've got enough Disney movies to satisfy Stacey and Brandon for a month." Sam could barely contain the rush of gratitude. "Now, Mendel was a monk with a creepy interest in plants and too much time on his hands."

The evening passed pleasantly. By the time Aladdin was over and the kids were clamoring for food, Kurt had gotten him all the way into the difference between dna and rna and Rrna.

"Thanks for coming over Kurt. Seriously, you have no idea." Kurt glanced at the alleyway by the motel. Probably checking for that creeper Jacob.

"I don't mind at all Sam. Honestly I've been a bit bored, we've covered most of this stuff at Dalton. And frankly, the passing on of Old Disney is a sacred duty." Kurt put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Bring those two into glee club more often. I'd hate for you to quit."

"I know, you need me for Nationals." Kurt shook his head.

"No. We may need you, but that's not why you should stay. Stay because you love music, and I like having you there." A warm feeling spread through Sam. "Brandon and Stacey are always welcome."

"Thanks dude." This is the second time Sam's gotten choked up in a couple of days. Somewhere, in the Sahara, there must be ice forming. "I'll try."

One of the worst things about not having any money was that Sam was now the babysitter. Constantly. He adored both his siblings he really did, but he had to pick them up from daycare after school every day. He had to sit in the motel and listen to Stacey jabber about the alphabet, every day. It was slowly driving him insane.

"Hey! Sam!" Kurt chased after him and he left the parking lot. "I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee with Mercedes and I."

"Sorry dude, I have to pick up Stacey and Brandon." Kurt whacked his forehead.

"Duh. Sorry, total Brittany moment. I meant, would you and the kids like to come with us? Mercedes and I were thinking of going to the park since it's so nice out, and getting some of that horrendous stuff the cart sells." Sam hadn't even noticed, but it was the first truly beautiful day they'd had that spring.

It was gorgeous out, Kurt was in front of him with a hopeful expression, and he was no longer failing English.

"Sure. We do have to go over to McKinley Elementary School to get them though." Kurt waved over Mercedes.

"No problem, we can all fit in my Baby." Sam stared at Kurt. "My car." Kurt guides him back into the parking lot, over to an enormous black car that probably cost more than everything Sam owns put together.

"Whoa. Dude, Christine much?" Kurt smacked his arm.

"I resent your implication that my flawless complexion is because of a demonic car, Sam I am. Now get in, before we make you walk." Sam settled into the leather seats, musing on how that was totally wrong because Kurt has great skin. Really pretty skin, like an elf. It's kind of sexy really.

He jerked his brain back from that track to Kurt, who's bitching about the lack of creativity in the names of Lima's schools. "They name all of them after the same failed President, really? Surely somebody better must have come from this town!"

"Maybe one day there'll be the Hummel High School." Kurt snorted and smoothly turned a corner. Mercedes is being oddly quiet from the back seat. Probably just tired or something.

"Believe me Sam, should this town ever dare name something after me, it'll be a theater. Or a sky scraper, or possibly a mall." Sam firmly put the thoughts that Kurt's going to be the one truly great thing Lima ties itself to out of his mind, and made another Stephen King joke.

Sam really could not believe how awesome Kurt was. He had just gotten an A on a Spanish test for the first time in his entire life.

"Kurt! I got an A!" Kurt finished applying his hair spray and smirked at Sam.

"I told you you'd do it. You have a natural aptitude for languages Sam, you were simply being taught wrong in Schuester's class." Sam blinked. He'd never been told he had an aptitude for anything.

"I do?" Kurt closed his locker.

"You speak fluent Na'vi, and you learned it on your own. That's impressive, if dorky." Somehow, dorky didn't sound like such an insult when Kurt said it. "Tell Stacey that purple always matches pink and Brandon that the Genie was aquamarine."

"What?" Kurt smiled apologetically.

"I can't come over today, I've got a project to work on with Tina." Sam nodded. It was unreasonable to expect Kurt to hang out with him and his siblings all the time. "But Finn has another couple of jeans to drop off for you, so he'll be coming around, if that's cool."

"It's great just having somebody around who isn't eight." Kurt waved and pranced off. Sam was left wishing he could have had some more time to spend with Kurt without his siblings being around.

Finn came by around seven. Stacey and Brandon were fighting, so the noise level in the motel room was earsplitting. Finn shifted his weight awkwardly as Sam took the bag.

"Dude, you wanna like come over for to watch football? I know you can't make the team, like with the fees and everything, but if you wanna just come over and watch Burt's got an awesome TV." Finn just looked like he wanted to leave. Sam was fine with that. He didn't have the easy friendship with Finn that he had with Quinn-something about Finn constantly accusing him of stuff made him less comfortable around the other boy.

"Sorry, I have to watch these guys." Sam turned around. "Hey! You two shuddup, I'm talking!" Sam turned back to Finn.

"Dude, is that really the way you talk to your siblings? They're really little." Sam restrained himself from pointing out that Finn was an only child and seriously didn't know anything about it.

"They won't shut up, and we're going to get the other residents pissed at us." Finn just looked awkward. "Thanks for the clothing man."

"See you in glee." Finn made his escape. Sam dumped the clothing inside and wearily began to discipline the brats. They were just pent up, and bored. Sam wished for Kurt and his laptop.

It took hours to get them to bed. When they were finally both asleep, curled up in one bed that folded down from the wall, Sam cracked open his textbook. The words were swirling around worse than ever.

The door creaked open.

"Hey Sam." Sam's Mom whispered. She was a tall woman, with normal sized lips and straight brown hair. Judging by the tired look on her face, the job hunt was so far unsuccessful. "Did they get to sleep on time?"

"8:30." She smiled. "Any luck at all?" Sam's Mom shook her head tiredly. Sally Evans had been a nurse before she was laid off. Unfortunately, Lima had all of two hospitals, and neither were hiring. Sam knew it disheartened her to not even be able to find a job as a fry cook.

"What about you dear?"

"I got an A on my Spanish test." Somehow it seemed a lot less important here, when he was studying by one light and his parents were creeping in at 11 at night without having accomplished anything.

"That's wonderful." She crept over to the microwave and took out the remnants of a TV dinner. "You go to bed, I'm going to wait for your father."

Sam picked his way around his sibling's bed and to his sleeping bag. It lay next to his guitar, which he wished he had more time to play. Being the only one looking after Stacey and Brandon sucked.

"Trouty Mouth, you know this is a glee club not a babysitting agency right?" Sam flushed and sunk lower into his seat. Why, why, why, did he ever date Santana, even for a short amount of time?

"Santana, you are aware that not only is Sam necessary as a member and thus keeping his siblings here helps our chances, but that they're less trouble than you are?" Kurt finished filing another of Stacey's nails. "In fact, considering that neither Stacey nor Brandon deliberately stirs up trouble or routinely insults members, I'd say their contributions are far more applicable than you think."

"Oh, and in what way to the twerps contribute?" Sam's head jerked up.

"Hey! Don't call my siblings twerps!"

"These two increase our levels of glee. Unless Santana, you're under the impression that making Brittany happy is nothing we should care about?"

Sam cheered mentally. Brittany, who loved playing with both Stacey and Brandon, was not someone Santana would go against. And it was true that Brittany was always overjoyed when her two new friends came in to play with her. Brandon himself was on her lap now.

Santana scowled and looked away. Kurt winked at Sam.

Sam left glee that day feeling happy for no reason at all.

"Sam?" Sam gritted his teeth. He was attempting logorithms, and of course Stacey was in one of her 'let's ask questions all day' moods.

"Yes?" Her head appeared from under the covers. "And you should be napping."

"Can you and Kurt get married?" Sam choked. Stacey grinned, oblivious to her brother's discomfort. "He's almost always here and he cooks us food all the time, so he can be your wife! Then we can all move to his house, and we can sleep in the spare room and you can sleep in Kurt's bed."

Sam turned bright red. Brandon's head popped out from under the sheet. He added "Plus you totally wear his clothes all the time, and you said his name last night when you were asleep!"

Sam restrained the urge to bury his head in the covers. God, having other people in the room while you had wet dreams was awkward. At least neither of his parents were awake to hear it…that was a conversation he was not ready to have. Ever.

"Kurt is a friend. We're not getting married." Stacey shook her head stubbornly.

"He can be Ariel! And you can both sing to us all the time! We can live happily ever after in Christine!" Sam knew that taking Quinn's suggestion of 'live music video' was a terrible one. And woe betide him if Kurt ever found out about Sam's nickname for his baby.

"Stacey, Kurt and I are not getting married." She pouted.

"Why?" Great. Now Brandon had decided that he would add to this catastrophe.

"Because we don't love each other."


"Because…because I like girls."


"Just because! Now stop asking questions and go back to bed." Brandon scowled. He could be more stubborn than Stacey when he got stared.

"But you do like guys! You like Kurt, and you always say nice things about him, and you always wear the earth coat!" Sam sighed.

"We. Are. Just. Friends."


"Because Kurt has a boyfriend, that's why." Finally, Brandon and Stacey were quiet. "Now both of you shut up and go to bed."

There had to be a conspiracy. Because Quinn kept shooting him these looks, and whenever Quinn had that look he'd done something wrong.

She cornered him on his way to pick up Brandon and Stacey. "You're in love with Kurt."

"How do you know?" It popped out of his mouth before he could stop it. Quinn smirked triumphantly.

"Stacey told me when you went to the bathroom yesterday. I just wanted to confirm it." Sam sighed. Of course it was because his siblings were always in close proximity nowadays.

"And you want me to…" Quinn paused, looking thoughtful.

"Well, I know you'd be a sweet couple. And as far and Brandon and Stacey are concerned, Kurt's your husband." Sam blushed. "I won't tell anyone you're gay."

"Bisexual, actually. I did like you." Quinn looked slightly sad. It was common knowledge that Finn and she had a strained relationship. "I mean, not as much as Kurt but…" Sam cut himself off, thinking that that sentence was going nowhere good.

"I don't mind that you're in love with him. It surprises me that more people aren't." She fell into step beside Sam as he started walking towards McKinley Elementary.

"Blaine certainly is." Sam really hoped that didn't come out as bitter as it sounded in his head. "I'm not screwing that up for Kurt."

"I haven't seen Blaine around much. He does live a long way away though, and most of the time when I see Kurt it's at your house. Though" Quinn eyed his jacket amusedly. "You do wear a lot of his clothing."

"It smells pretty, okay? And I know I sound pathetic but it's like having Kurt around." Quinn smiled in a faraway manner.

"I get it. You want to wear your boyfriend's stuff. I'm sure Kurt would be thrilled to tote a McKinley jock jacket." Sam grinned slightly. Kurt would look cute. But he'd sold his, so it really wasn't something that would happen.

"He's not my boyfriend. He just hangs out at the motel and helps feed Brandon and Stacey." Quinn didn't comment.

It was Saturday. Saturday night, and Kurt was sitting on the main bed, helping Stacey and Brandon design a wedding for their mismatched collection of dolls. He'd actually answered Sam's plea to come over and entertain the two, just so Sam could watch the game.

"I think the sock dress looks best. Perhaps accessorized by a scarf?" Kurt apparently also had an epic collection of doll clothing he brought over. It was kind of annoying actually-Sam would be watching the game, then Kurt would speak and he'd get distracted.

"You're really awesome for coming over Kurt." Sam said, as soon as Stacey and Brandon weren't occupying all of Kurt's attention. Kurt smiled at him over the two blonde heads.

"My pleasure. I don't often get to design weddings like this." Sam still thought he was awesome. Nobody else he knew would just come over on a Saturday night.

"Seriously, you are. I can't believe you didn't have a date with Blaine or something." Kurt sighed. Stacey had gone to root in one of the boxes for a rubber band to tie off a doll's hair.

"Actually, Blaine and I have been broken up for a couple of weeks." Sam gaped.

"Huh?" Kurt avoided his eyes, concentrating on the doll in his hands.

"He said that he couldn't be with someone who had two boyfriends, and that if I was going to keep spending my time at some other's guys house rather than with him I should just date him instead." Kurt shrugged. "Blaine and I weren't working anyway."

"Why?" Kurt blushed. It made him look extremely cute.

"He had a valid point. About him not really being the only one I was harboring feelings for." Sam dimly registered Brandon taking over the rubber band search and Stacey going into the bathroom.

Kurt was available. Kurt might actually like him. Kurt could be his.

"Sam?" Kurt sounded nervous. Sam shook himself out of his daze, and lunged over the bed to kiss Kurt. Kurt made a shocked noise against his mouth, then reciprocated eagerly. Sam groaned as Kurt's tongue began doing fascinating things in his mouth. And oh god, he wanted to do this all the time.

"Ha! I told you you'd get married!" Sam broke away from Kurt, his cheeks going bright red. Stacey triumphantly pointed at Kurt. "You said he had a boyfriend! But you can be the boyfriend and the husband and be like mermaids!"

Kurt shot Sam a strange look. Sam just shook his head.

"You don't want to know. But about the boyfriend thing…I'd be really happy if you'd consider it. Because I've sort of liked you for a really long time." Kurt chuckled and leaned into his shoulder.

"Done. Now you can wear my jackets and show them off properly."

There's one thing that really, really, sucks about having an awesome boyfriend and siblings. There's nowhere for him to spend time with Kurt. Because Kurt was really, really, hot, and Sam really, really, wanted to make out with him properly.

Of course, having one room for the entire family didn't mesh well with that. And having to keep an eye of Stacey and Brandon, both of whom were smug about having been right about Kurt. It had taken considerable bribery to convince neither to tell Sam's parents.

But it was worth it when Sam's Mom decided that she'd take Stacey and Brandon for a day.

"After all" she said with a wry smile. "Job hunting is working, and it's not as though anyone is going to dock my pay if I don't show up. You've been being such a wonderful son, you deserve a break. Hang out with some friends." Sam had to work to contain a triumphant whoop.

All right! So, barely ten minutes after his parents left, he was on the bed making out with Kurt. Kurt was a fantastic kisser. Very attention consuming.

So, naturally, Sam didn't notice when the door opened. Perhaps he would have if there were multiple doors, but there was only one threshold between them and the outside world. Or in this case, a mother who had forgotten her purse.


"Mom!" Sam scrambled into a sitting position, his face bright red. Kurt got off the bed in the space of a second, straightening his wrinkled shirt. Sam desperately wished that his hair wasn't quite so mussed.

"And you are…" She looked at Kurt helplessly. Stacey piped up helpfully.

"That's Kurt! He and Sam are gonna get married!" Sam groaned softly. Oh god…

"My name is Kurt Hummel, I'm Sam's boyfriend." Kurt stepped forward and held out a hand, managing to smile. Sam moved forward to place an arm around Kurt's waist. He could hardly let his man handle all this alone.

"Um…" His mother stared at the both of them for a minute. Then she seemed to shrug and shook Kurt's hand. "Melissa Evans. I've heard all about you Kurt, though I wasn't aware you were dating my son."

"It's a new thing." Kurt said.

"Not like a phase kind of new thing though. Because we're committed. And um, I was going to tell you. I just wasn't sure how." Sam blurted out. He was actually thinking of telling them in Na'vi, but mom didn't need to know that.

"Well, be sure to tell me if you get married. Come on Brandon, Stacey. Let's go." Mrs. Evans hustled the two blonde cherubs out the door, leaving Kurt and Sam on their own.

"Not like a phase?" Kurt sounded amused. Sam blushed.

"I just didn't want her to think you aren't important just because the way I ended up coming out was being caught kissing you. Which I really keep wanting to do but Stacey and Brandon are there, and I really don't want to go all pg 13" Kurt cut him off by pushing him onto the bed.

"Sam. I know you like me. Don't worry about it." Sam surrendered to the urge to trace kisses down the side of Kurt's neck, deciding that his boyfriend was even more awesome than Jake Sully. He was absolutely coming out to his father as soon as the man got home, then going around McKinley with Kurt on his arm.

The thought was banished from his head when Kurt twisted his hips around on top of him, and Sam was just extraordinarily grateful to not have a sibling in the room.

A/N: Please a review? This is my first piece of Sam/Kurt, and I would love to hear some opinions on it. Even flames, because it's MAY and I can see my breath when I poke my head outside. Freakin' New England.