Note: so, hi. I've never really written smut before – I don't really write at all, in fact – but it's like 5am and this idea just wouldn't leave my brain until I wrote it all down and formed it into a vaguely coherent structure. So that's just what I've done.
I'm thinking there are a few other fics similar to this one, because Greasemonkey!Kurt seems to be pretty popular, but I just couldn't get it out of my head. So, yes.
Feel free to review and tell me how utterly, utterly awful this is.
Warnings: smut, of the male/male variety. Obviously. Gratuitous amounts of swearing. And, uh, there's a switching POV, which is pretty clear, I think, but some people seem to hate that, so. there you go.

Kurt Hummel isn't interested in sex. Sure, he's gay, and he's been attracted to guys – but it's always been a case of aesthetic appreciation, rather than anything even slightly resembling lust. Of course, he's a teenage boy, and he's tried masturbation, but he can't even remember how long ago. Perhaps it was last year, when April Rhodes gave him those magazines, and he just wanted to have one (semi-)normal teenage boy experience, so he stared at them, and he tried. It really wasn't all that satisfying, though, and he'd gotten bored after a few minutes and gone back to reading the articles. And sure, he has a lovely, charming, and very, very attractive boyfriend now, who he enjoys kissing. A lot. But he still just isn't interested in sex.

Which is why it surprises him when, in the empty parking lot after the school football game, watching Blaine swear profusely because his car won't start, he suddenly wishes that his boyfriend of two months was underneath him, writhing and moaning those "fuck, fuck, fuck"s against his skin. The thought comes as a revelation – an 'oh, that's what arousal is supposed to feel like', and then a realisation – 'Blaine's probably wanted this all along, but he's too much of a gentleman to push' (which makes him more grateful for Blaine being Blaine than he'd previously thought he could be), and then an idea.

Kurt walks over to his own car – they'd driven to the school separately, living half an hour away from each other, and Blaine had been intending to follow Kurt's car to his house – stripping down to his fitted white undershirt, pulling a pair of oil-stained working pants over his tight designer jeans, and pulling a heavy toolbox out of the trunk. He walks over to Blaine's car, and wordlessly opens the hood, quickly working out what's wrong with the car and starting to fix it. He glances up to see his boyfriend's reaction, and finds Blaine staring at him with his mouth open and an expression of wonder on his face. Well, mostly wonder – Kurt also notices the way that Blaine's eyes are slightly blown with lust. He smirks.

Thinking that since Blaine swearing clearly had a massive effect on him, the same might just work for Blaine, when Kurt tightens the bolt that's come slightly loose under the hood of the car he makes sure to make a show of it. He grips the tool he's using hard, his muscles flexing, and lets out what he likes to consider a manly groan as he tightens it. As he leans away from the car he makes sure to - breathlessly, but still clearly – let out one single "fuck", before shutting the hood, wiping the oil from his hands down the front of his shirt, and running his hands through his hair.

He's about to look over to Blaine for a reaction, but he doesn't have a chance to, because Blaine's suddenly pressing him against the hood of the car, kissing him with more passion and fire than they ever have before – and wow, why had they not always been doing this, again? They skirt their way around the car, still pressed together, and Blaine pushes his way past Kurt to open the back door. They fall together onto the seat, Blaine on top of Kurt, pausing only for Blaine to whisper "oh my god, Kurt" into Kurt's ear before he goes back to kissing him. Blaine rolls his hips down into Kurt's, and Kurt's breath catches because this is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to him, but then Blaine's stopping, and sitting up, and looking ashamed.

"Oh my god, Kurt, I'm so sorry!" is the next thing Kurt hears, and before he even gets a chance to ask what on earth Blaine could possibly be sorry for, other than, y'know, stopping, Blaine's rambling again. "I... I really didn't mean to push you into anything like that, I'm so sorry, I can't believe I've done this to you, oh god, I'm the worst boyfriend ever, I'm so, so sorry, Kurt, you just – the oil, and the groan, and the – oh my god I'm so sorry- I-" is what comes out of Blaine's mouth, and Kurt's sure that Blaine probably would have continued apologising for the rest of the evening (and probably the rest of their lives), had Kurt not rolled himself on top of Blaine, pushed Blaine down on to the seat once more, and kissed him again.

"I wanted – mmmm – this", Kurt explains, pulling his mouth away from Blaine's, "when you swore, earlier, I just," he pauses to plant a row of kisses along Blaine's jaw, "it just drove me insane, and I- I did the whole greasemonkey thing in the hopes of this-" he rolls his hips into Blaine's, "nnngggghhh – happening,". They press against each other for a few moments longer, lips connected and limbs intertwined, and the next time they break away, Blaine says "Oh, thank god for that," against Kurt's lips.

Blaine's in heaven. His gloriously attractive, and apparently not-so-innocent, boyfriend is on top of him in the back seat of his car, kissing him furiously and rolling his hips against his. Kurt's clothed erection presses against his own, offering the best kind of friction imaginable – and really, who knew that it could feel this good? Because this is so, so much better than masturbation, and they're not even touching each other, not really; there are too many layers in the way. Actually, that's something, thinks Blaine – there are too many layers in the way. Kurt's still wearing two pairs of trousers, his oily, baggy work trousers still in between those tight jeans he was wearing earlier and Blaine.

Blaine moves his hands from Kurt's ass, and Kurt huffs at the loss of contact, pointedly rolling his hips into Blaine's again and making Blaine gasp. Momentarily distracted though he is, Blaine doesn't forget his initial goal, and Kurt's eyes light up in understanding as his hands reach for the zipper of Kurt's trousers. The younger boy wriggles his hips to get out of them, and oh, the things that movement does to Blaine. In a moment of insanity Blaine's almost tempted to unzip Kurt's skinny jeans as well, and explore, and touch – really touch – the erection that's pressed against him, making him feel so, so good. But Blaine is a gentleman, really, and he knows that would be pushing Kurt too far, and they've come far enough today as it is, because this was definitely a surprise. It's a really very nice surprise, but a surprise none-the-less. So Blaine settles for putting his hands in Kurt's back pockets and pulling Kurt even closer to him, if such a thing is possible.

They're still thrusting against each other, but it's faster now, and more desperate. Occasionally one or the other will let out a groan or a gasp, and when Kurt moans deliciously against Blaine's neck – where he's been sucking and biting in a way that's sure to leave a very visible bruise, but feels so good that Blaine just can't bring himself to be worried about it – Blaine is so close to coming right there. "Fuck, Kurt," he groans in response, and Kurt catches his eye and starts rocking against him even harder than he had been before. Blaine suddenly remembers what started all of this, Kurt telling him that listening to Blaine swear had driven him wild, and the next time Kurt thrusts against Blaine, he deliberately whispers "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," under his breath, making sure to enunciate the word each time he says it.

Kurt lets out a whimper, and reaches down to stroke Blaine's balls through the fabric of his jeans. The extra pressure is too much for Blaine, and the familiar feeling pools low in his stomach. He manages to get out "I'm, I'm gonna-", before Kurt captures his lips in another kiss, and he comes, jerking against Kurt with one hand in his boyfriend's back pocket, and the other roaming over Kurt's back.

Kurt realises with wonder that he did this to Blaine, and for about the fortieth time that day, tries desperately to understand why they hadn't been doing this sooner. His thoughts are interrupted, though, as Blaine rolls them over, whispers "you're so amazing," directly into Kurt's ear, and then sucks Kurt's earlobe into his mouth whilst palming Kurt's erection through his jeans. It doesn't take long before Kurt, too, is coming – the force of his first orgasm with a boy (and, well, first orgasm ever, actually) hitting him like a freight train as he all but screams Blaine's name. Blaine cuts off his scream with another kiss, gentler this time, and the two of them lie there holding each other for a while, just feeling completely in love.

After a few minutes, though, the reality of the situation hits Kurt, and he sits up. "Did we just... did we just come in our pants... in your car?", he asks Blaine, who nods almost shamefully. Kurt kisses him chastely, giggling as he says "we're so romantic, Blaine. Honestly, that could have been a scene out of Love Actually, or something." Blaine breaks into laughter too, at that, and they chuckle to themselves for a few minutes before another thought seems to strike Blaine.

"Kurt, my... my car?", he says, and Kurt responds with a questioning glance. "What- you said that you did 'the whole greasemonkey thing'" – he uses air quotes, there – "to try to... y'know. What did you do to my car?"

"Oh, ye of little faith," Kurt huffs, looking directly at Blaine. "Do you really think I would sabotage your car just to get off? Did the fact that I have a tool kit and overalls in my trunk indicate nothing to you? My dad owns a garage. I fixed your car, Blaine."

"God, sexy and talented. What did I ever do without you?" Blaine grins, and Kurt blushes furiously. Blaine leans in for yet another kiss, and Kurt – still focusing on the fact that his boyfriend called him sexy – thinks that perhaps he is interested in sex, after all.