"Hey, everybody. I'm Dylan Armstrong from the McKinley High glee club: New Directions." Dylan started as the camera was switched on.
"And I'm Noah Puckerman." Puck then said before beginning to speak on the topic of the video.
"You know, these days our world is faced with an ever growing crisis: what to do with the enormous amounts of totally crappy gadgets we throw away as soon as the better ones come out." He said. Dylan nodded at this.
"Yeah and about 3 weeks after you buy the most kickass camera or cell phone on the market, you realise that you're already hopelessly out of date and then you have to upgrade again." The blonde boy added on before the camera switched to Brittany knee deep in a pile of gadgets.
"Someone help me. I lost my gas powered, internet enabled blow dryer! I have a lot moistness that I need to dis-moisten!" Brittany whined before adding on: "And also I need to do while I am web paging about moistness." She said, deadpan. The camera then moved back to Puck.
"Technology is moving so fast these days that no one can really keep up and only a very small number of people even want to." Puck then said as a pie chart appeared beside him.
"Nerds." Dylan added on off-camera
"That's coming from someone with an IQ of 138." Puck bit back before the Jewish boy carried on.
"So instead of rushing out to buy new technology you aren't smart enough to use, try following these easy steps to simplify your life." He said before the camera went back to Dylan as the first step came up, written in Mandarin.
"Step 1: Don't buy things you can't use, sure a combination of blender electric toilet sounds convenient now." He said before realising something.
"What the hell?" he asked. Puck noticed too.
"What the hell is wrong with our on-screen text generator? I just updated this thing!" he complained. Dylan sighed.
"Well, that's just great. Now our instructions look like a bunch of bad tattoos." Dylan said as the second and third step appeared onscreen in Arabic and in Hieroglyphics. They then heard a whirring and an all-too familiar voice.
"Once again, you boneheads have screwed up everything." It said and the other two boys looked in the direction of the voice.
"Harmon? Did you just skate in here on a pair of robot vacuums?" Puck asked.
"Don't be ridiculous, you ridiculous excuse for a human being. These are robot vacuum smart phones." Jack answered, motioning to his gadgets before looking to the other boys and carrying on.
"You see, the answer to today's overabundance of technology isn't fewer useless gadgets, it's more useless features in fewer usable gadgets." The ego said and Dylan raised an eyebrow while Puck just looked hopelessly confused.
"What?" he asked but Jack just carried on speaking as usual.
"And of course it plays MP3s. Everything's got to play MP3's…except your MP3 player. It now plays MP4s because everybody knows MP3s are a dead technology. They're our generation's betamax. And the next generation's Blu-ray." Jack then said.
"What? Blu-ray just came out. It can't be obsolete already!" Dylan proclaimed.
"Nonsense, Happy Feet. Being released to the public is what makes technology obsolete. The only way to stay ahead of the curve is to invest in products that don't exist, and hopefully never will. Like the iPlunger, or the Nintendonut." Jack then said and Puck sighed.
"Or the Puckasaurus 2.5 upgrade." The guitar player said.
"Aw, that's just vaporware and you know it. Anyway, everybody knows this year's Blu-ray, is gonna be Jack-ray." Jack then said before laughing almost demonically.
"What about HD-DVD?" Dylan questioned. Jack shrugged.
"Bad marketing. Not enough repeated letters in the name to be catchy. So it's being replaced with HHDDVVDBVDs." He replied.
"But Harmon, wouldn't life just be easier if we didn't have these format wars?" Puck then asked.
"Of course not, Mohawk Jew. War is always a good thing." Jack replied.
"But what about all the confusing multiple standards?" Dylan asked.
"Happy Feet, you know I'm a firm believer in double standards. Especially if they cause you pain and suffering." Jack said and Dylan rolled his eyes before Mitchell appeared out of nowhere. With no smoke, no supernova announcing his arrival, no nothing.
"Tada!" Mitchell called out, almost out of character.
'Is he high on his medication again?' Dylan thought.
"Whohoa, Mitchell! Did you just teleport here from HarmCo?" Puck asked, shocked at Mitchell's unexpected arrival.
"Actually I just came back from the future. I got this new wristwatch, it's got a pedometer and a built-in time machine. Oh and it also plays MP3s. But in the future we don't call 'em MP3s. We call 'em MP48s." Mitchell replied.
"Sweet." Dylan replied, looking at Mitchell's watch.
"Yeah, you can also play MP48s on your HHDVDBDBD player." Mitchell then said.
"Damn it, they stole my idea!" Jack proclaimed before a loud buzzing filled the choir room. Everyone covered their ears.
"Jesus!" Puck proclaimed.
"Ah, what's that noise?" Mitchell asked after taking his hands away from his ears.
"It's my cell phone. Santana must have borrowed it. She's always overclocking the vibrate setting and calling herself for some reason." Puck said, oblivious as to why. But Dylan wasn't.
"Gross." He said as Puck answered his phone.
"Hello?...Brittany, who gave you this number?" Puck asked before everyone turned to Brittany.
"I would just like everyone to know I found my nuclear powered and SMS messaging cat. And I'm going to activate it now, if anyone wants to text me while I play." Brittany said.
"Hey, I told you already! That isn't a tail!" Charity, Brittany's cat exclaimed as the camera faded out.
"Look, I think Andy's resting on one of those laptops with the exploding batteries." Puck then exclaimed.
"Uh oh." Brittany said before an explosion was heard.
Dylan then stood up and brushed himself off before looking to Mitchell.
"Hey, thanks for getting us out of there with the watch Mitchell." Dylan said and Mitchell smiled.
"You were lying right? You actually transported from HarmCo to here?" Puck asked and Mitchell shook his head. Puck's eyes widened before he turned and ran out of the warehouse.
"Will he ever catch up?" Dylan asked.
"No. It's him, how can he?" Jack asked.
My first PSA parody! The Gadgets video is one of my favourites. Along with the Grifball one and I hope to do a oneshot with that video sometime soon.
Feel free to review!