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Sadly, I do not own PJO. But I do own my OCs. :):


"Speak when you are angry—and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret." -Dr. Laurence J. Peter


"Apollo!" Artemis exclaimed, forcing everyone in the Throne Room to divert their attention to her as she entered. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop flirting with my hunters? It's like everything I say always passes through your ears!"

"Hey, sis, you're back!"


"What? Yeah, I hit on them but they don't fall in love with me, right? They have that oath to follow."

"Even with that oath, I can't have temptation anywhere near them!"

"Ouch. It sucks to be them at the moment," Apollo muttered, staring at his twin curiously. "You lack faith in them, sis?"

The face of Artemis went red. "I—No, of course not," she sputtered out. Apollo raised an eyebrow at her skeptically. Everyone knew how it was a touchy subject to talk about her Hunters being successfully seduced by other gods. It happened quite a few times and Artemis hadn't handled it well. "I am confident of their loyalty! But what bothers me is your constant flirting with them. It's almost like an annoying habit... and it's getting out of hand. Do you know how many of my Hunters complained to me just this last week? We've been over this hundreds of times!"

Apollo huffed. He couldn't imagine anyone complaining about him. (Except maybe Artemis, Hera, and quite a few others.) "Fine, I'll stop," he said after much debate. "Although no promises guaranteed, little sister. Habits are hard to stop after all!" He added with a cheeky grin. "Now if you excuse me I am trying to finish my beautiful poetry." With a dramatic snap of his fingers, a fountain pen and parchment paper popped out and landed on his lap.

Artemis sighed exasperatedly. "I always tell you stop trifling with my Hunters, to stop calling me 'little sis,' and a lot of others things... Yet you never listen, do you?"

"Pardon?" Apollo asked, looking up from his poem.

Artemis's hand twitched. "That is it!" She marched up to her twin and ripped the parchment from his hands. Apollo gasped dramatically at the sight of the tear.

The Olympians watched in interest, with some wishing they had popcorn—ehem, Ares, ehem— to make the experience more enjoyable.

"What—Why...?" The usual chatterbox of a god couldn't get his voice to function properly. "Y-You..." He was working so hard on that piece of poetry, only for it to be ripped by his own sister's hands. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF BLOODY ZEUS DID YOU DO?" He finally screeched.

Hestia's eyebrows flew up. She rarely saw the god like this. The last time he was so angry was when Hermes stole his sacred cows.

"Bloody?" Zeus inquired.

"I..." Artemis's voice faltered, slowly coming to her senses. "I-I'm so sorry, Apollo. Look! The rip isn't even that—"

"Then why did you do it?" He demanded, standing up. "You could've just... Have you been even thinking?"

"Because you wouldn't listen to me! You never do!"

"You could've just told me!"

"See what I mean?"

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind! You won't understand, anyways."

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"I am not! I—"

"Wait, stop!" Apollo raised a hand. "I have the perfect haiku for this moment." Despite the grumbling of complaints by his fellow Olympians, he cleared his throat and began:

"Artemis is mean

She ripped my dear poetry,

Now she ripped my heart."

Artemis cocked her head, unsure of what to say. "Well, here I was thinking you'd be adding another syllable to the last line. At least you stuck to the rules this time, Apollo. It's still not one of your best, though."

Apollo narrowed his eyes, trying to decipher the meaning behind his sister's words. It was obvious she wasn't praising him, but she probably wasn't insulting him either. "What are you trying to say, sister? Why, do you think you can make a haiku? Actually, now that I think about it, all you ever do is make fun of my works"—he made sure to make eye contact with everyone in the room, hoping they'd get the message he wasn't only addressing Artemis—"but you never bother to give me an example of yours. Do you have a haiku in mind, Arty? It would be nice to hear it!"

Artemis thought hard, surprised by Apollo's reaction. His change of attitude did irk her a little. Maybe he thought she couldn't form a haiku? "If you insist," she replied slowly, the poem already forming in her head.

"Well then, let's hear it,"

Imitating Apollo's moves from earlier, she cleared her throat and faced the other gods present, spreading her arms in a dramatic gesture.

"Powerful, yes

But quite a pain in the butt

Apollo, you dope."

Most of the Olympians snickered. Artemis took a triumphant bow and smiled at the deep red Apollo.

He coughed, waiting for a few seconds for the laughter to die down (and for his face to return to its normal color). "Correct me if I'm wrong, sis, but isn't the first line four syllables? Just so you know a haiku is a five-seven-five." He finished with a little glare, slightly jealous that her haiku was received well compared to his. Everyone's a critique, he thought bitterly. I swear, it's like they won't even recognize a good haiku even if it slaps them in their godly arses. "You may be a skilled huntress, but you're not a good poet, huh? You can't have it all, sis."

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing," she hissed.

"Really? Were you also thinking how whiny you are and how you always think you're the best? I mean, that's probably why some hunters left you!"

"Excuse me! You also think you're the best! And the reason they left me was because of idiotic, flirty men!" Artemis cried.

"Isn't that what you call them disrespecting you and your oath?" Apollo shot back smugly.

Oh, now he's done it, Athena sighed. This argument was giving her a complete headache. Both of them were acting so childish! Although their argument was becoming dragging, they had to be commended. It seemed like they weren't intent on backing down; it was a battle of wills. She glanced at Hera and Zeus, the former leaning towards her husband and whispering intently. Only the other gods would probably mean the end of their fight.

"How dare you—"

Seeing that Artemis was too flustered to speak, he continued. "And admit it, you can be irrational. I guess there's a reason why I'm the god of intelligence and not you."

"Me, irrational?" Artemis scoffed, like Are you serious?

"Aren't you? Don't tell me you've already forgotten what you did to those poor ex-huntresses of yours. Aura, for example—"

"Don't you dare mention that girl's name in front of me," Artemis growled. It was obvious that Artemis was restraining herself from throttling her brother. She took a few steps backward and laced her fingers behind her back, gritting her teeth.

"Feeling guilty about it?" Apollo taunted.

Artemis swallowed, narrowing her eyes into dangerous slits. "How about you? Don't you have stories to tell too? You're not innocent from successfully seducing some of my hunters, like Kyrene."

"Hey, I named an island after her!"



I'm not scared of lots of things. And Zeus, I'm not scared of him either. I'm used seeing the old man go cranky. In fact, I've seen worse than this. Like way, way worse. But for some reason, my godly instincts told me something was going to happen—something I will not like.

"I am sick of the both of you fighting amongst each other! Can't the two of you get along for once?" He demanded.

I discreetly rolled my eyes and sat back down on my throne, trying to get comfortable for another lecture that was sure to come. You guys never get along too. I heard a clicking sound and I saw Athena doing that disapproving thing with her tongue, the way most parents did when they see their kid messing up the carpet. She gave me a frown, shaking her head. The frown was most likely for my attitude but the head shaking told me that she was thinking the same thing as me.

"But obviously, the only time that happened was when you killed Niobe's children." I shrugged. "So I think, maybe, we should do something to you two." He paused, pretending to think. "Something like, say, a punishment. Who agrees?"

The others glanced at each other. Slowly, one by one, they all raised their hands.

I hastily stood up at the sight of it, especially when Hermes raised his. "Traitor!" What in the flipping Hades? Is everybody against us or something?

"Sorry," he mouthed.

"Y-You can't just—"

"The council has decided that we shall punish you for you and your sister's actions and arguments."

"We're part of this council too, you know?" I tried lamely.

"Sorry, this decision doesn't have to include you two." Hera said coldly.

"But what about all of you! You also argue a lot!" Artemis pointed out. It was a vain attempt, but I was tempted to applaud her for trying. She turned to our father. "Lord Zeus, didn't you almost cause a war when you thought that Poseidon's son, Perseus Jackson, stole your lightning bolt?"

Zeus turned a nice shade of pink. "That is a different matter, Artemis! The both of you have been arguing for centuries!" He boomed.

"So have you," Artemis whispered.

"So, Zeus, what punishment do you have in mind?" Hera asked excitedly. Oh, she just can't wait to get rid of us.

"Hmm..." Zeus started, stroking his beard. "I don't have anything in mind... yet. Perhaps the others have some suggestions?"

"Burn them at the stake!"

"They'll just come back to life, Ares," Hephaestus reminded, sighing.

"Then just keep doing it. Trust me, it'll be entertaining,"

"We could always force them to harvest the wheat needed for cereal," Demeter suggested. "Cereal supply has dropped low."

"Maybe because you're always buying for yourself," Aphrodite quipped.

Athena raised her hand. "Send them to the mortal world until the summer solstice starts?"

"Boring," Ares coughed.

"Ah, I'm not finished yet, Ares," Athena smirked then continued. "We could always send them to school. Everyone knows how mortals consider it as a form of torture—unfortunately."

"Military school?" Ares asked, his eyes wide in interest.

Hermes snorted, clamping his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. I shot him another ice-cold glare and he quieted down.

"Military school? Seriously?" I protested. Artemis, on the other hand, was quiet. I guess she was trying to come up with a persuasive argument or maybe she already accepted our fate.

"You scared of military school? Ha, wimp!" Ares burst out laughing and I had the urge to punch him.

"You're the god of war, Ares! Of course you're going to find military school easy."

"Don't you think that idea is a tad bit... harsh?" Hestia asked, knitting her eyebrows worriedly. I flashed her a grateful smile. Leave it to Hestia to be the more compassionate one. "Wouldn't it be better if we send them to middle school instead?" Okay, never mind what I said.

"Sure, punish us, but not with school!"

Athena gave us a cold stare before turning to Ares, annoyed. "That is exactly what I was supposed to suggest, if only Ares had let me continue."

Hera laughed in pleasure. "This is an absolutely brilliant idea! If they act as children, why not treat them as such? Yes, yes, send them to middle school. A military middle school, for all I care!"

"Lord Zeus, are you... you are not going to agree to this, am I right?"

"Just be thankful we won't be sending you two to an elementary school!"

"Actually, it is a pretty good idea," Zeus said thoughtfully. "Do all of you—except for the twins—agree?"

Everyone nodded their heads.

"Well, the council has made a decision. The both of you will live as mortals for the time being and attend a mortal school. The council is now dismissed." Artemis and I stayed put. Zeus raised an eyebrow. "I said the council is dismissed."

"We'll be back!" I insisted. "We shall return to—"

"Apollo, please," Artemis sighed, dragging me out by the arm. "Please keep quiet for once. This is your entire fault. Now I have to break the news to my Hunters!"

"My fault? How is this my fault?!"

Pls. review!

Yes, I know that Artemis and Apollo's fight was kind of useless. But if you don't like it or this story, fine. At least I'm happy with this.