Author's Note: First of all, you have to understand that I've only ever seen the first few episodes of MERLIN and they kind of turned me off being flat, boring, typical, and cliché. However, I've decided to give the show a second chance since so many people like it here on .

Thus, I haven't actually seen the part when Arthur found out about Merlin being a warlock. Still, I've read a few fanfics and tons of summaries about this episode so I've gotten the basic gist of it so bear with me if a few things are off or OOC! Even so, this is a crack-fic so just ignore those parts as this is just for laughs.

I hope you like it!

Arthur was feeling bored.

It was another tiresome day filled to the brim with posh and snobby noblemen. His father had been getting hard on him of late and was getting real cranky these days.

He had insisted that Arthur take up more responsibility and that's why the past few weeks had been filled to overflowing with meetings and deathly-boring ceremonies.

The worst part of it all was that his best friend, Merlin, was being far too secretive and exclusive for any manner of decency. It was obvious that the guy was hiding something but what was the question. Arthur had no idea and did not even think it was magic.

Merlin was far too stupid to be a wizard or warlock. It just wasn't like him. Nonetheless, Merlin had a secret and he was hiding something. Since he had nothing to do and didn't quite feel like going to bed just yet, Arthur decided to carry out an investigation of his own.

Hours later, Arthur arrived at Merlin's quarters where he shared the place with Gaius. It was well past midnight and almost everyone in their right minds were asleep. Even so, a dim light flickered in Merlin's room and shadows danced back and forth.

Arthur felt a flush of excitement as he realised he was on the verge of discovering Merlin's secret. Was he a wizard? He had said so after all to save Gwen. Heaving a sigh, Arthur shook his head and padded softly over to a couple of crates that were positioned right bellow Merlin's window.

He climbed atop them as soft as a mouse and what he saw shocked him. He stared, gobsmacked and horrified, as Merlin – of all freaking people! – stood proudly in front of a mirror...

...wearing a bright pink and purple dress! It was frilly and flashy pink, something a prude would wear. But Merlin was dressed up in it complete with stockings and smocks and he even wore a shawl. Arthur was horrified and his throat constricted in his fright, making him unable to speak.

But that wasn't the worst of it!

Hells, no!

Merlin was holding a rose in front of his mouth and was swaying his hips in a very girlish fashion and slapping his rear end every now and then. To Arthur's shock and horror, he began to sing in a very high-pitched voice.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!" He sang with full gusto. "Come on Barbie, let's go party! Oh, oh, oh, oh!"

But that's not the worst part, the bad thing was that he seemed to be enjoying it!

Arthur finally got his senses when Merlin sang, "You can brush my hair and feel me everywhere! My booms are plastic. It's fantastic! Come on Barbie, let's go party! Oh, oh, oh, oh!"

Breaking into a cold sweat, Arthur quickly jumped down from the crates and hollered on the top of his lungs for dear life.

"Guards! Guards!"


A/N: Lame, I know but I couldn't help it. Also, please do not get the wrong idea as I am not gay nor into that sort of thing. In fact, I find that stuff real sick and perverted but I just got the plot bunny in my head and it wouldn't let go. In addition, Merlin is just way too cheesy and cliché for my liking so that's my way of poking fun at it. Like it? Love it? Hate it? Leave a review and let me know!

~ Elf Knight ~