A/N: Okay, so I've decided to write a J/L multiparter. It's actually an expansion of the final vignette in "Five Times Teresa Lisbon was Accosted by Kidnappers." It's an expansion that is slowly spiralling out of control actually. I thought I'd start posting it even though it's not done, because it is mostly planned, but I would like to emphasize that this was planned out before the S3 finale aired, so I take absolutely no responsibility for anything being no longer canon as a result.

It's going to be a mostly fluffy story, though the first two chapters (after the prologue) will be less so. But it'll pick up in tone after they're done.






Patrick Jane hated lawyers.

He always had.

They caused nothing but trouble as far as he was concerned. Just left more problems in their wake than there were to begin with

Jane used to think that part of his dislike was because lawyers didn't tend to like him. He supposed his methods could make their lives a bit difficult sometimes so he didn't always blame them for that.

But it turned out, no.

Lawyers were just horrible, unwanted human beings, getting in the way, interfering, generally screwing things up, maybe even forcing his hand.

And despite what some of them might think, they weren't even that charming. It was really difficult to figure out why anyone might like one of their kind.

Stupid namby-pamby, generically handsome, really-too-tall, ridiculously bland, irritatingly good, shiny-teethed, lawyers who were friends of the assistant D.A.

Everything was all their fault. Fine. All his fault.

Whatever his name was, the one who'd taken Lisbon out to dinner.

Oh, Jane had seen the two of them.

He'd been keeping an eye out for the pair of them, or something like them. Okay, not exactly for something like the two of them leaving together, but for something. Lisbon had been oddly smiley all day, slightly nervous, maybe a little excited, definitely not completely at ease.

So obviously something was up. Jane had wanted (needed) to know what. It wasn't just inappropriate curiosity, though he was always curious about her. It was absolutely necessary that he know why Teresa Lisbon was so damn happy all of a sudden.

So he'd placed himself in strategic locations in the CBI building at strategic times.

That's when he saw them, him. In his neatly-pressed green shirt, and his perfectly styled dark hair, nearly the shade of Lisbon's own. Jane had a vague memory of being introduced to him by the assistant DA the last time he'd been at city hall, but Jane hadn't given the man a second thought. Why should he have? The apparent newcomer to Sacramento was ordinary in the extreme.

Ridiculously stable, unbelievably average, probably perfectly nice. Nothing overt to arouse the consultant's interest at all.

Until Jane watched the man walk out of the CBI with Teresa Lisbon at his side, with their matching professional outfits, and their matching hair, and their matching smiles. Mr. Anonymous, J.D. was probably perfect for her on paper, kind, understood the demands of her job, dedicated to his own, probably also a bit of a workaholic, someone she could relax with, someone who didn't come with their own drama, stable.

Together they had made quite the picture, walking almost hand in hand.

Yes, the newcomer was exactly the type of person most people would think was perfect for Lisbon.

Patrick Jane wasn't most people.

He knew that Mr. Overly Safe wasn't what she really needed. He knew it.

But he wasn't quite sure she did. Not anymore.

And now, as a result, he had a fuming Teresa Lisbon sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Oh yeah, and she was handcuffed.

He may have panicked, just a little.