Disclaimer: You've got to be kidding me. Do I honestly look like I own CCS? First off, if I did, none of the shounei-ai scenes would be cut out in the process of dubbing, even if it disturbs people. Secondly, I wouldn't have to write this. It would be an episode. Third off, I wouldn't be so freaking poor and open my wallet to see moths fly out. There. I don't own CCS. Although I do wish I owned a cute moon-angel, but we can't get everything we want.
Once Upon a Time ~ Collab between Kei Kazama and myself… Medieval Touya*Yukito/Yue, with S&S to appease the fans. Ya know the drill. Prince finds peasant, sparks fly, evil lurks, and acid eats through floors.
If you don't like the storyline, all I can say is bugger to you because we took about 6 hours to think it up, and that involved staying up until about one in the morning to do so. We got a very nice, rather cliché storyline, although hopefully we'll put in a couple things to make it a tad bit less cliché, but you have been warned at least. ^_^ After creating the entire storyline, I wrote the fic, so you know who to blame but we can blame Kei anyway cause I'm evil and sadistic. So there (compliments still go to me though… mwahahahahaha!).
PM: Neh, neh! *sticks tongue out*
Kei: You're sticking your tongue out at me. *sniff* She hurt my feelings! Trust me!
PM: Trust you?! Yeah right!
Kei: You never trust me?!
PM: YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!
Kei: I'm hurt.
PM: And I'm sarcastic. What's your point?
Kei: Never mind.
Yue: When will you two start acting your own age?
PM: Do you act your own age?! How old are you?!
Yue *sweatdrops and turns away sighing*
PM: I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE!
Kei: Aren't you going to chase him?
PM: I'll whack him with a frying pan later. Serves him right anyway.
Enjoy the fic!
Kei Kazama and Pikachumaniac
This is a story. A story of amazing battles, treachery, love, action, etc, etc, etc, and so on and so forth. I think you get the basic message. Luckily, for the sake of all our sanities, there are no true knights in shining armor, or princesses who ask princes to accomplish next-to-impossible deeds (in a pathetic attempt to justify their love which is only spawned by good looks and charm), which merely results in a vast majority of them being killed anyway (and we wonder why there's a problem with in-breeding within royalty!). If I had it my way, that princess would die a spinster.
However, I am here to tell you a story, not complain moodily about cliché plots. Before beginning, I must warn you that this story isn't terribly realistic. Some things make even I shake my head and wonder why. But that's not the point of the story. It's about love, friendship, and all that wonderful stuff that I really don't want to go into right now.
And so let us begin with the typical fairy-tale starter.
Once upon a time…
Once upon a time, when knights rode gallant horses wearing shining armor, damsels in distresses bestowed their tokens of love on their handsome suitors, sorcerers and sorceresses cast spells of both blessing and calamity alike, and angels flew through the skies…
No, wait a second. That doesn't seem right…
"ONII-CHANNNNNNNN!!" the sound of the princess's scream broke through the peaceful stillness, "I WAS SAVING THAT!"
Touya rolled his eyes and sighed, the peace derived from the comfortable silence being broken by his sister's angry yell. The fact that even if he was sitting on a roof, he couldn't get away from the pressures of daily life was really all too much. Well, one would think that if they reached a place that no other sane person would want to be at, they wouldn't be bothered, right? He sighed again. Apparently, sound was an exception to that rule, and Sakura's indignant yell still seemed to echo in his mind.
It was amazing when one thought about it. The castle was huge, even to one who had lived in the grand building for his entire life, and there were many a corridor that he had yet to visit. Still, it was just as amazing that he couldn't get away from the kaijuu when all he wanted was a moment of peace for his mind… Lately, he'd wanted to get away from his sister, despite the fact that he cared about her greatly, even though he didn't show it often]
However… there was the gaki now…
Another sigh escaped his lips. He honestly did not see what his sister saw in the visiting prince, but apparently she cared for him. Which meant that he might be facing the extremely deadly and quickly looming threat of having to deal with Syaoran as his… brother-in-law?
That was honestly not something that he was looking forward too. Of course, he was happy that his sister had found somebody to love… but seriously, couldn't she have a little better taste?!
Now that the little kaijuu had her precious gaki to take good care of her (and he had better), he was beginning to miss not being needed… even with the overgrown stuffed animal acting as her guardian (along with about half the guards in the palace), he had been able to take care of her in a way that nobody else could… not that he would ever voluntarily let her know that! Still, he was being inevitably pushed from that comfort zone by the brat, and naturally he felt some resentment towards the boy…
The bit of reality did nothing to improve his mood. Since the two had discovered their love for each other, he had felt rather, well, to put it mildly, useless. He wanted to do something!
He needed to do something.
The prince was not one of those overzealous men who needed to go on great quests, to save damsels in distress, to bring back an item of great importance (to nobody in particular except for the simpleton who wished to have it), simply to prove his worth. He had already proved his worth several times over, and certainly not because of macho acts of idiosyncrasy combined with pure, dumb luck.
It's too cramped in here, he finally decided, momentarily (and very conveniently) forgetting that the castle was one of the largest establishments of its time, and there was many a corridor that even he had yet to visit.
But where to go without everybody recognizing him and 'your majesty'ing him every ten seconds? And most importantly, where to go to be of some use?!
The morning sun's rays hit the dewy grass at precisely the right angle, resulting in a symphony of dewdrops shining on the blades of grass. It was a beautiful day, and perhaps the lack of people to interfere with the beauty of the moment made it the more worthwhile.
But then again, for a person with such a charming and heart-warming personality, perhaps another person would have made it more interesting.
Yukito Tsukishiro shrugged off the doubts as he continued to stroll towards his destination. His grandparents were gone again to who knows where, and he had more or less become self-sustaining with all the times they've been absent.
In fact, he was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the horse barreling down upon him until it was too late.
"What the helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll……………" Touya's bellow was lost to the wind as the horse beneath him suddenly bolted. He was a very good rider, thank you very much, and so it wasn't that much of a shock that he was in complete bewilderment when his horse decided to start running. No matter how hard he jerked on the reins, the beast wouldn't stop, and he could only think (the only calm thought in his entire mind) that it was an excellent thing that nobody was around to be run over.
About as soon as that thought was completed, a person came into view on the empty road.
"Oh shi…" Touya's curse was cut off when the youth, gray-haired and with brown-eyes, turned and stared at the horse, in complete bewilderment.
Acting as quickly as possible to prevent having human roadkill, Touya pulled on the reins again. Perhaps it was because the hose was becoming tired or because he had gotten over whatever had possessed him to bolt like that, but he began to slow down. Then, almost comically, he came to a complete stop, and Touya, completely unprepared for this action, was thrown head-over-heels into the peasant that he had been attempting to save.
"Are you okay?" he muttered as he pulled himself up. Upon receiving no answer, he noticed that the young man he had landed on was happily unconscious, "Oh great."
Now what am I supposed to do?!He glared balefully at the horse, who seemed to roll his eyes and paused to eat some grass, as if bemused with the prince's stupidity, I might as well take him back… I can't just leave him here…
He looked down at the unconscious figure. He felt so familiar, for some vague reason… as if he had met some part of him before. Or maybe he was just going insane.
Deciding on the latter, he gently picked up the unconscious peasant, carefully replacing the glasses that had fallen off his face. Something so alluring… something he simply didn't understand…
Touya shook his head and looked down at the victim of his attempt to fly. Know him? Be attracted? So the fall had apparently messed up more than just his pride! His sanity was on the brink of destruction.
He decided simply not to think about it anymore.
Where… is… my… son…
Fujitaka Kinomoto was not usually an impatient man. He realized that some things were more important than others, and some events were not controllable. But sitting here with the perky visiting princess was simply too much to ask for! As soon as Touya came back, he could get rid of her!
"Guards, have you seen my son?" he turned to them, all of them shaking their heads. He sighed and sent them to find the prince in question when the door suddenly opened.
Nakuru Akizuki nearly jumped out of her seat as the man she had been waiting for came in, carrying an unconscious peasant in his arms. What a welcome.
"What are you doing?" Fujitaka demanded, looking from Touya who looked like he had just experienced flight and had probably knocked into somebody, explaining the gray-haired youth.
"I lost control of the horse and we knocked into him," Touya explained calmly, "So I brought him back with me."
This brought a predicament to the king's mind. He knew that he should probably discipline his son, not only for being late and leaving him with the hyperactive princess by himself, but for bringing a stranger into the palace. However, he really had to wonder that if he were in Touya's place, would he have acted any differently?
The biggest problem with that question was that he most likely would have acted in the same manner.
However, that did not mean his son could! Really!
"Well," he finally glared, "Don't do this again. If you do, we will be flooded by peasants and a kingdom can't run like that."
"I don't plan on it…"
"Er herm?" Nakuru cleared her throat. Fujitaka resisted the urge to groan as he brought the princess to Touya.
"Touya-san, this is Akizuki Nakuru, our visitor, a princess from a…" he frowned, not remembering hearing exactly where she had come from.
"A far away land."
"Akizuki-san, this is my son, Touya Kinomoto."
"How do you do?" Touya would have bowed, but he was hampered by the fact that he was still carrying an unconscious figure in his arms.
"I'm fine, thank you!" Nakuru squealed, somehow managing to throw herself onto him and latch around his neck even with his arms full. Touya squeaked and tried to shake her off, but couldn't.
"Touya-san," Fujitaka felt a wave of sympathy for his son, "Why don't you take care of your… guest?"
"I'm already settled in Kinomoto-san!" Nakuru chirped.
"No, I mean…" his voice trailed off. Touya nodded gratefully, eager to escape the human-leech attached to his neck.
By the time the two had reached his bedroom, Yukito still hadn't awakened. Touya was getting tired, tired of waiting around for him to wake and explain exactly what was he doing to his…
He cut it there. That was just ridiculous, and he wasn't going to continue that thought.
A soft moan caused him to look up. The snow-bunny blinked at him, the lack of his glasses making everything terribly fuzzy. He had absolutely no recollection of what had happened after the incident with the horse and the man thrown off directly onto him…
"Who are you?" Touya asked softly as he slid the glasses onto his face. He blinked again, this time seeing the world around him in a clearer perspective, eyes immediately catching those of the prince.
Yukito was completely perplexed. How was he supposed to answer that question?!
They stared in each other in an unnerving silence.
Why did I even bring him here?Touya thought to himself silently, or so he thought. Yukito's eyes widened and he immediately jumped up. Touya's own eyes become as wide and he slapped himself mentally, BAKA!
"I'm sorry for causing all this trouble for you. Gomennasai!"
Before he could stop him, the snow bunny had fled its cage. Taking a few seconds to get that information through his head, Touya jumped up and ran for the door, "Wait!"
However, he hadn't taken one step into the hallway before a familiar voice squealed, "TOUYA-KUN!" and his human leech attached herself onto him, "I've been waiting for you all this time!"
"Demo…" he struggled uselessly before finally giving it all up as his eyes scanned the hallways. No doubt about it, the peasant boy was gone.
"I can't believe he ate those… after I saved them for so long… and then I wake up to find them all gone," Sakura muttered darkly as she stomped down the hallways like the kaijuu her brother called her (author gets stomped on the foot by Sakura, OW!). Thus, she was not looking when she suddenly bumped into somebody, spilling both of them onto the floor.
"HOEEEEEEEEEEE!" she squeaked as she fell on top of Yukito.
"Gomennasai!" she heard a flustered voice say as warm hands helped her up. Green eyes met equally warm brown eyes as she stammered out, "I'm… okay."
Yukito looked at her as one would expect fish in a market, suddenly realizing exactly where he was.
"Ah… ah…" he stammered, half of him wanting to run away and out of the palace before he could cause anymore trouble or start bowing and begging for forgiveness. Luckily, his decision was finally made when Sakura smiled happily.
"Arigatou for helping me!" her sweet voice calmed his nerves, "What's your name? I'm Sakura!"
"My name is Yukito… Tsukishiro Yukito."
Long hair of snowy white.
What is this?
White angel wings extended wingtip to wingtip.
Who is this?
Why can't I remember?
Coming from the silver orb hanging in the sky.
What do they mean?!
With a start, Cerberus, the sun guardian created to protect Sakura Kinomoto, woke up from the same dream that had plagued him for the past two weeks.
"Sakura-chan!" the familiar voices caused Sakura to look up in time to see Syaoran and Tomoyo running up to the two, "Are you all right?"
"Yeah… we just ran into each other," Sakura explained shakily, her winning smile flashing.
"Oh! Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran-kun, this is Yukito-san! We kinda… erm… ran into each other," the chestnut-haired girl introduced happily, looking adoringly up at Yukito, who was smiling nervously.
"Ah…" Syaoran and Tomoyo nodded simply. Syaoran was looking a tad jealous, as if upset with the adoration in his Sakura's eyes, but Tomoyo was already fawning over with delight.
"I have to get a picture of this drawn later…" she sighed as the other three sweatdropped.
"Yukito-san," Sakura looked at her new friend, "Would you like to see the rest of the palace? We'll be happy to show you."
"Hai," he nodded, smiling, "Arigatou."
Even Syaoran has to blush at the adorable smile.
~*~ Several Hours Later…
Tomoyo walked into Sakura's room, only to be met by a sleek golden lion, who was watching her rather suspiciously.
"I thought I heard some screaming," he accused, the yellow eyes looking into Tomoyo's blue eyes.
"Some screaming?" the artist repeated mildly, "Why would you hear that?"
The question immediately gave way to Cerberus's suspicions, "Tomoyo…"
His eyes hardened, "Around where?"
It must be the gaki! The gaki is always causing trouble for all of us! I know it has to be the gaki!Kero thought angrily, slowly flexing his claws and imagining them ripping the gaki's throat open…
"Li-kun," Tomoyo breathed out gratefully, but then winced as Sakura's guardian growled and jumped up, pouncing heavily on Syaoran, who blinked as he was shoved onto his back with a very angry guardian-beast on his chest, before glaring back at the lion.
"WHERE IS SHE?!" he roared into his face, causing Syaoran to wince (whether it was by the intensity of the bellow or the bad breath…) and Tomoyo to look a bit uncomfortable at the violence the sun-guardian was displaying.
"Tomoyo-chan? Syaoran-kun? KERO-CHAN?!" Sakura squeaked as she rushed into the room, repeatedly tripping over herself, "What are you doing to Syaoran-kun?!"
"I'm just going to rip the gaki's throat out… why, Sakura?"
Before his mistress could answer the seemingly innocent question, he looked up, distracted by a powerful source of…
The fur on Cerberus's haunches seemed to ripple as a queasy feeling overcame him. It wasn't that the magic was disturbing him… okay, so maybe it was disturbing him… but it wasn't because it was unfamiliar. It was, in fact, the opposite of such… it was because the power felt so familiar that it scared him. Although he wouldn't admit it…
"Sakura, who is your guest?"
The princess blinked as she looked at Kero, who had yet to get off Syaoran. She hadn't mentioned anything about bring somebody here!
The lion finally got off of Syaoran, only to glare at Sakura. She gulped, trying to regain her composure and deliver a legitimate argument to keep her Kero-chan from pouncing on her new friend. How she could have completely forgotten that her guardian was not going to automatically accept anybody she brought into the room and that he did not know? But even this was getting a bit extreme, wasn't he? It wasn't like he knew who she had brought, right? He couldn't possibly…
"Um…" Sakura stammered before she quickly looked back. Kero had to strain to hear the conversation, although it was a very much one-sided conversation, "It's okay… he's not going to hurt you…"
A brief pause followed, and the sun-guardian barely resisted the urge to wince as the familiar pang of magic once again shot through his mind, but when everything cleared again, he found himself looking at a gray-haired peasant, about Touya's age.
Was this the… person… that had caused all these strange… flashes?
"Um, Kero-chan, this is Tsukishiro Yukito. Yukito-san, this is my guardian, Cerberus," Sakura quickly introduced, but Kero only listened with half an ear. He could have sworn that it was him… but then he realized that he didn't even know who 'him' was. Yukito was smiling nervously, looking so incredibly innocent that it simply raised the guardian's suspicions.
"Sakura, you can't just bring any stranger here. He might be dangerous."
She gave him a boggled-eye innocent look that always made him want to groan. How naïve she was sometimes, "But Kero-chan! He's my friend!"
Very, very, very naïve.
He took the opportunity to look at the other occupants of the room to see what they made out of his reaction. The expressions on their faces seemed to be saying the exact thing as Sakura… that this… Yukito… could not possibly pose any danger. Looking at him himself, he had to admit to himself that in a way, they were correct. The power he had felt was indeed disturbing, but disturbing it was because it had felt so familiar, not because it had screamed out danger. Unlike the visiting princess and her friend, who made him want to bare his pointy teeth at them and introduce them to Mr. Claws if they ever even got near the princess when he was around! No, he was wary of Sakura's new 'friend' because of the familiarity of his presence… from so long ago…
But if Tsukishiro Yukito could feel so familiar, why was it that Cerberus couldn't remember him at all?
"If you keep this act up, your Touya-kun is going to be beating you off with a stick," the small black kitty with the cork-screw tail remarked, which Nakuru replied to with a stuck-out tongue.
"Relax Suppy! I've got him right where I want him," she snapped, a bit peeved that a stupid cat with teeny-tiny butterfly wings could still be such a pain in the ass, "And what have you been doing while I was working?! Cleaning yourself?"
"Actually, I contacted our master. There's something in this castle that is making him uneasy. Perhaps you can tell me what it is?"
"Something by that mocking tone you give me tells me that you already know."
"Who is it, Ruby?"
"Humph," she stuck her nose up as she looked away, "I don't think I want to tell you!"
A vein on his forehead started to throb mightily.
"It's some… peasant-boy," the brunette finally spat out, "Some stupid, insignificant, peasant-boy…"
"I see… and that's why he has you so riled up, doesn't he?"
"Whatever… I'm going to go find the princess. That should take my mind off of him."
"Okay… but Ruby?"
"Don't start flirting with him too."
If Sakura was surprised to see the visiting princess in her room, she betrayed it perfectly well, with her panicked look and open mouth. It wasn't that she was necessarily upset or anything of the sort, but why would Akizuki-san want to see her, the sister of the prince she was pursuing? Perhaps as a way of appealing to onii-chan? Or was it because…
"Oh! You're so cute!"
With an unnatural speed, Nakuru Akizuki had run over to her, gushing over her cuteness.
So this is how onii-chan feels when Syaoran-kun's sisters are here…
Meanwhile, Kero was just watching the scene with a look of extreme dislike. He wanted that hyperactive… girl… away from his mistress! Sure, at the moment she didn't look or act dangerous, but there was something so odd about her that he couldn't quite put a paw on. Oh well, that was merely details. Cerberus only needed to know one thing at the moment, and that was that in ten seconds, she was not going to be near Sakura, even if he had to drag her off by the hem of her dress!
Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two…
"Syaoran-kun! Yukito-san!" Sakura exclaimed happily, thankful for the distraction she managed to elude Nakuru to greet the two.
"Tsukishiro?!" the older girl turned, only to see the peasant-boy standing next to Sakura's betrothed. Her eyes narrowed slightly, much to Kero's surprise, but she blinked and had replaced the surprised 'o' with a mocking sneer so quickly that he almost thought the pinkish tint in her eyes was a figment of his imagination.
"What are you doing here, peasant boy?" Nakuru's indignant question was demanded through clenched teeth.
There it was again! Either his mind was playing extremely rotten tricks on him, but the sun-guardian could see her eyes turn pink again.
The poor lion was so caught up in watching the princess glaring at equally poor Yukito, whose eyes seemed to change into a very light silvery-blue.
Of course, nobody seemed to notice.
Except Akizuki Nakuru. The brief eye-color change seemed to infuriate the princess even further. After she screeched, a sound that was almost like an animal scream, she stalked out of the room, leaving behind three very confused people and a wary sun-guardian.
A soft rustling sound caught his attention, causing Touya to practically fall off the tree branch, half expecting Nakuru to jump out of the leafy foliage above head. In fact, he wouldn't be at all surprised if he did come to pass.
It really wouldn't be fair if she could, though. He had finally found a spot where none could bother him unless he somehow wanted to be bothered (which was certainly not a common occurrence, par say), and then to have that human leech stick onto him everyday… well, he just didn't want to deal with it.
The day had simply been an all-around disaster. What with Akizuki Nakuru, also known as the human leech; that ever-present gaki with his baby sister; the roof incident; his father's incredibly long lecture; losing control of the horse (he still didn't understand how on earth that had happened!); finding and, worst of all, losing Tsukishiro Yukito…
Touya frowned at that stray thought. It seemed rather impossible that he could have this thought and not even understand what on earth he was thinking…
The moon's so bright today…
Another soft rustle… he cracked an eye open from his uneasy rest. On a night with winds as calm as this, there should be no rustles unless people were there. And nobody… including the kaijuu… knew that he was here. The leaves were thick, preventing sight, and he hadn't moved much, so not much sound had been made.
So then what?
At that moment, Touya really wished that question wasn't answered because the sudden glint of a blade was the only thing that saved him from literally losing random body parts. He swung himself from the tree, knocking into his attacker, and looked up only to find that there were even more.
"Oh shit…" he looked at all of them. Skilled as he was, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to defeat all of these people. However, you know what they say, surrender is NOT AN OPTION!
Without a word, the dark figures surrounded him. He glared at them, although a bit nervous. What did they want? They wouldn't attack for no reason, would they? Well, maybe they would, but…
The first being hadn't even gotten close to him when a blue crystal impacted, destroying him immediately. Touya took advantage of the momentary disadvantage, picking up the being's forgotten weapon as his companions gaped at the spot where there had once stood a comrade, quickly cutting into two before they regained their bearings. However, it was too late for them as an arrow of blue ice and fire cut into several others. A guttural sound as they all looked to the sky as one, where an imposing angel with pure white wings watched them emotionlessly, a second arrow fitted into the bow.
"What the…" the words died on Touya's lips as about ¾ of the attackers went after the angel and the rest for him. The unexpected rush and shock at seeing the white-winged being almost caused him to be overwhelmed, if not for years of training and a heavy amount of quick thinking. Blue magic tinted with white sparked distractedly, but he didn't allow himself to slow down as he cut into his attackers. Several minutes later, he felt strong arms grab him by the shoulder and lift him into the sky, causing him to yell.
"There is no reason to scream," a voice replied crossly, and he looked up to see that his 'attacker' was none other than his savior.
"Who are you?"
There was no answer as the angel flew him to the roof of the palace. He looked down and saw that of the many things that had attacked him, only 5 remained. He looked at the moon-angel, who continued to watch him dispassionately, not an ounce of emotion on his face.
Then, without another word, he turned away, spreading those beautiful white wings, and flew away without a second glance.
"Wait!" Touya's bellow was quickly lost, the angel not even turning back. Like a dream that escapes the grasp of imagination upon awakening. All that remained of the rest was a few stray feathers, softer than the finest silk which rested around him. He picked one up, looking back at the moon, which like the stoic angel revealed nothing of its feelings.
"HE WHATTTTTTTTTTTT?!" Akizuki Nakuru bellowed, glaring at the captain of what she had named the night warriors. The dark figure simply nodded again and disappeared, causing her to glare and kick the chair.
"Well, at least that didn't take too long… although half of his creations are now gone," Spinel sighed, looking at his companion. The small kitty was still rather tiffed that the princess had sent the army to attack the prince without even telling him!
"Humph," Nakuru sniffed, "I think I'll rather go find Touya-kun than talk to you."
Spinel rolled his eyes, "Fine. As soon as you go off to torment him, I can be alone to talk to 'master' *insert sarcastic tone here*. I need to tell him about Yue anyway."
~*~ Tsuzuku ~*~
PM: I'm not that great at knowing when to quit, so I decided to cut off here.
Jyou: Yeah, she has a little problem with stopping when she's ahead…
PM *exasperated*: That's mean. Anyhow, Mateem (who made all the editations to this fic and helped make this piece of junk more bearable to read, I owe this all to her) suggested to do chapters instead of giving you all heart palpitations *innocent look*. Therefore, the entire story IS written. I have problems with chapters… as shown with my other CCS fic and those X-Men: Evolution fics… Since she does have a point and I don't want to give you all convulsions, I'm splitting this fic into probably three parts… I'll just post up the next section whenever I feel like it or when people start stalking me with pitchforks and torches. And no, Jyou, you don't count…
Jyou *putting down pitchfork and torch*: Aww…
PM *glaring*: I meant that they were coming after me to post, not because I'm a witch!
Jyou: I never said you were a witch! You're a demon!
PM *slaps him*
Pikachumaniac (*coughs* Kei isn't helping me… I HAD TO WRITE THIS BY MYSELF! SO IF IT'S CRAPPY IT'S HER FAULT FOR NOT HELPING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *glares*)