It felt like they could have just stayed sleeping together forever- Tino wouldn't have minded at all if they had.
When he finally started drifting back into consciousness, even his sleepy thoughts were spotted with Berwald. The warmth from the other's arms around him was the only thing keeping the cold of the room from making him shiver, and he burrowed against the other's strong chest. He wondered how long he had slept for- three days on almost no sleep would probably have knocked him out for a good while, at least twelve hours or so. That should have made up for those three days, right? Or was it four days? Or two? Or a week?
Whatever it was, it had been far too long without this soothing closeness of his body against Berwald's. He loved the feel of that closeness, the way his smell filled his nose and the way the sound of his breathing echoed in his ears. He loved the way the taste of his cock and his lips lingered in his mouth. He would make sure that he never had to go without this again.
The need to see Berwald again started to become overwhelming, and so the Finn forced his eyes open to gaze at his sleeping lover. He was perfect, fast asleep against him like that, just as he should be. Staying in Berwald's arms, Tino scooted upwards against the other so that he could press his lips against the other's jaw, and then his cheek, and then his nose and his temples and his forehead and everywhere else that he could possibly kiss again, and again, and again. This was just how it should be, Tino thought, Berwald safe and comfortable against him and letting him lavish him with affection. He couldn't have thought of a better arrangement.
Berwald woke to soft, warm lips pressing against his cheek.
It was pleasant, and he could feel those lips trailing down his jaw and then onto his neck and he let out a drowsy hum of approval. He wasn't quite ready to open his eyes yet, but his hand found it's way into Tino's hair to lazily stroke the soft, silky locks. The gesture earned him a contented sigh from his lover and more kisses, and the Swede leaned closer.
It was nice to just cuddle without any words like that- he knew the second that he opened his eyes he'd have to confront the situation again, and that would require a lot of talking and probably a lot of coaxing, and for the moment he just drank in the feeling of being calm before he slowly, slowly opened his eyes. The kisses trailed back up his jaw, and Tino must have noticed he'd opened his eyes because he offered him a weak smile and kissed his forehead.
"Good morning sweetheart." Tino crooned, gently, reaching up to cup the Swede's cheek. He stared intently at the other, eyes full of so much love and adoration and obsession that Berwald could feel the guilt weighing on his chest.
"Morning." He replied, still a little drowsy, and Tino just pressed another kiss to his skin.
"How did you sleep dear?" Tino asked, now rubbing his jawbone with his thumb, and Berwald leaned against the hand.
"Good." Berwald assured, and the answer earned him another kiss. Or maybe Tino would have kissed him anyway, even if he hadn't said a thing. He started to think the latter when he was gifted with more kisses all over his face.
"How 'bout you?" The Swedish teen finally asked, and Tino nodded and continued to kiss a while longer before replying.
"I slept very good with you here sweetie." He finally declared, smiling at the other, dark circles still under his eyes and a bruise still spotting his face. He didn't look all that much more rested than he had last night. It made Berwald wonder if Tino was just saying things he thought he wanted to hear, and he felt a sharp pang in his chest. Maybe Tino was afraid of what he'd do if he didn't.
"It's 'kay if ya didn't, y'know." He offered gently to the Finn, and Tino shook his head frantically.
"It was good. You held me and loved me and we slept together and it was good." He insisted, voice pitching a little as he clung tighter to his boyfriend, and Berwald knew he wasn't going to get another answer out of him. Instead of continuing to press, he held the Finn closer and stroked his hair again to try and calm him. Tino responded very well to the treatment, pressing closer and beaming and even half moaning a little. He was absolutely attention starved, eagerly responding to anything that Berwald did to him, and Berwald felt sick with himself for breaking him into it.
"Ah love yoo, Tino." Berwald murmured to the other, trying to let him know he was paying attention to him and he was right there for him and that it's all okay now, I will make sure it's always okay now, and Tino just clung even more eagerly against him.
"I love you too, Berwald." Tino murmured back dazedly, nuzzling against him and pressing another kiss against his skin.
Berwald kissed the crown of Tino's hair in response, continuing to pet him and hold him while he tried to figure out what to do next. He knew he'd have to try and get Tino to talk to him about… everything… but he wasn't sure how he was supposed to approach it at all. Tino had barely been coherent enough to carry any sort of conversation last night, and now he was just saying what he thought Berwald wanted him to say which left Berwald with really not many ways to try and get to the truth.
He needed to know what all had happened for Tino's sake. He had made his decision to stay with him, forever, and so now he had to sort out… well, whatever happened back there. Clearly it meant that there were things that he didn't know about Tino, and that he needed to learn them to be a better partner. Tino deserved him to be better, especially after all of that. All of that pain and fear and hurt- Berwald never wanted him to feel that way again. Tino was his wife. He needed to take care of his wife.
"Thought we could talk today." Berwald started gently, and Tino kissed his jaw and hummed.
"…About?" He finally asked after a moment, quietly.
"…'Bout everythin' that happened-"
"I'm sorry I'll never do it again, please don't leave me again." Tino begged, panicking, and Berwald held him tighter to him and hushed him.
"I will never leave ya, Tino. Yer m'wife, always. But tha' means I need t'know why some things happened. I need t'know more 'bout ya so I can take care'a ya."
"…What if you don't want me anymore when I tell you?" Tino whispered, as though maybe if he spoke too loud some god would overhear him and make it so, and Berwald just took his face in his hands and kissed him long and deep before responding.
"I want you forever. I always will. I promise." Berwald assured, his breath against Tino's lips as he spoke. Tino gazed up at him quietly for a while, searching him to see if he was sincere. Berwald couldn't tell if the Finn believed him or not, though he tried to assure him with a gentle kiss to the Finn's cheek and his spare hand in his hair. That seemed to be enough for the other to shift against him with a soft sigh.
"… What things do you want to know?" Tino finally asked, still quiet and clinging to his lover. It was clear that this was not something Tino was eager to do, but he was cooperating because he knew Berwald wanted it and he didn't want to risk anything breaking again from disagreeing. It left Berwald struggling to press forward though the guilt, even though he had to. In consolation he gave him another kiss in thanks before pressing on, hoping to keep Tino calm.
"Lot of things." The Swede started, lazily running his fingers across Tino's cheek while Tino snuggled against him and he decided what to say next.
"…First tha' night. Why didja want me t'choke ya?"
"I don't care about that anymore I promise, I was dumb-" The Finn insisted, starting to clam up again, and the other had to move quick to keep from losing his cooperation.
"Tino." Berwald cut him off, gently but firmly, adjusting his hold on the Finn's face. "Please. Why tha' night?"
Tino stared quietly back at him for a long time before responding. The gears in his head were turning, but no useful thoughts were coming to him. All he could think about was Berwald, Berwald, Berwald, and how perfect and handsome he was and how good his cock felt inside of him and how perfectly their lips melted together and how meant for each other they were. He needed him to cope, he helped him so much more than choking ever did. Maybe he could start there?
"…I used to think it helped." Tino said, slowly, almost unsure of himself even. He had to answer Berwald, though, because he wasn't going to fuck this up again.
"Helped?" Berwald asked, trying to help him along. He stroked Tino's cheek gently, trying to reinforce that this talking was good, it was just what he wanted and Tino was doing good.
Tino just nodded though, and Berwald realized he'd need to help the Finn find his words this time. He sat up a little, pulling the Finn into his lap to face him so that they could stay face to face with each other. He kept his arms around the other's waist to let him know he was still there, right there, no matter how deep they got in the conversation, and then took a breath before trying to start again.
"Was it… sexually?" He asked, slightly awkwardly. It wasn't an unheard of fetish, as Nikolai had informed him, and even if he over-reacted way too much when it happened it really wasn't the worst thing out there when he thought about it.
To his surprise, and concern, Tino shook his head.
"It… wasn't really sexual. It just happened." The Finn tried to explain, though the way Berwald searched his eyes told him that he wasn't doing a very good job.
"… Did you do it to hurt yourself?" Berwald asked, quietly and deeply concerned, and Tino had to think about that for himself because he wasn't even entirely sure. The first time came back to mind, the first time he'd ever laid his hands on his throat, and then how it just spiraled over and over and over again and turned into this goddamn ugly mess-
"I was fourteen." He finally started, quietly. "I… I'd always known I was different. Too pretty, too girly, too soft. I wasn't the son that the old man wanted and well… he made that known. Whether he was yelling or hitting me, he made it known. And I guess when someone hurts you that much, you do kinda start to think you're supposed to be hurt."
Berwald's eyes widened with worry, and Tino hushed him before he could cut in with a finger to his lips.
"Shh. It's okay sweetheart, baby it's okay. That part doesn't really matter right now. I mean… maybe I was influenced from it, I guess." Tino picked up. "But this isn't about what he did. It's about me being a fuck up."
Berwald wanted to cut in, wanted to tell Tino that he wasn't a fuck up and that he was perfect and deserving of all of the love in the world, but Tino stroked the other's lips with the finger that was holding them to keep him silent. Berwald could only let him continue his explanation.
"I really did hate myself. A lot. I guess that's what I was supposed to do because of… well, all of that. But it hurt so much because I had no way to express it, and he could hit me and get over it but you can't hit yourself very well- at least, I couldn't- and I needed something better. Then I heard about this game from some kids at school.
"It was called the choking game- pretty self-explanatory. I guess you were supposed to play it with friends, but I never really had any because the old man was always all paranoid they were with child services or the cops. So one day, I just tried it out by myself… it was better than I ever imagined." His voice softened.
"Everything finally stopped for a minute. The screaming downstairs, the soreness from the bruises, the self loathing- it just stopped. I just wanted to hurt myself, but instead I ended up taking all the pain away and it was… just- I could finally feel okay for a minute. It was some sort of miracle, I thought. That's all it could have been… I started doing it more and more and more to get away from things. It used to help." The Finn assured, trying to smile because Berwald just looked so scared and confused and why would you do that to yourself was written all over his face but that was the only way Tino could explain it. But Berwald didn't cut him off, and so Tino continued to talk because that was what he asked of him, after all.
"…My parents weren't thrilled about it. Well- the old man just didn't like the marks, mom was actually upset but she didn't know how to stop me anyway because I was already perpetually grounded and she couldn't take me anywhere because then they'd see the other bruises. They ended up just making me cover up the marks, they didn't really care how..." Tino said, tapping at the choker that hadn't left his neck for the longest time. "They never did stop me- it was all I had, and I guess they understood that on some weird, fucked up sympathetic level."
"People still talked, though. Some people at school saw the bruises before I covered them up and gossip started. I mean, they always talked whenever I got new bruises and it really shouldn't have been a big deal," Berwald wanted nothing more than to cut him off and tell him of course it was a big deal, he should have never been hurt like that- "but this time the old man was freaked out enough to ship me to boarding school so that child services would just leave him the fuck alone.
"You know, I used to think it was the best thing that ever happened to me." Tino laughed a little, bitterly. "For the first time, I was able to have friends. I couldn't tell him about them, but I could see them, drink with them… have a social life I guess, like all the other kids. What I didn't know, though, is that it isn't all that great. Sometimes you can be just as lonely when you're surrounded by all of these fucking people if they don't like you for, you know, you.
"I kept hating myself. I kept choking whenever it got to be too much, or whenever I called home and had to put up with that shit again. But then… then I saw you." Tino's voice softened, his lips curving into a tender smile as he rubbed gentle circles over Berwald's lips.
"I didn't know what it was at first. I thought maybe I was just hot for you, and I figured maybe you kinda liked me that way too and we'd just… I don't know. Do what people do when it's like that." He stumbled, shaking his head. "But then this thing happened where you were so gentle and good to me, ever since you carried me to the nurse's office, and then I started just getting butterflies when I was with you and you just made me so happy… and I fell in love with you." He all but whispered.
"I guess I was a little scared." He continued, finger still pressing onto Berwald's lips. "I didn't know I could be so happy. I didn't think I deserved it, but I wanted to. I wanted to be happy with you. It just made everything better, and I started to let myself lean on it- need it. But old habits die hard, and I just couldn't get the peace I felt when I choked out of my head and I always kind of wondered what having it and you at the same time would be like because they both helped- so I thought. But I was wrong, and that was dumb, and do you know what happened when I tried it again, to try and sleep when you were gone? Nothing. Nothing happened. It didn't help- it doesn't help anymore, Berwald. It doesn't matter anymore."
Tino's voice was low, and he looked up at Berwald through his bangs to catch his eyes again. "I only felt okay when we were back together again." He smiled softly, tearing up a little. "Berwald, I need you. More than anything, nothing else makes me better like you do. I promise I won't ever do that again, so please… just stay with me. Let's just forget about all of that and I'll fix things."
Finally Tino stopped taking, letting his finger off of Berwald's lips, and Berwald was finally able to try and respond to all of that.
"…Thank ya fer tellin' me." Berwald said first, needing Tino to trust him and not back out of the conversation now. "Tino, thank y'."
"Anything for you." The Finn shrugged, a little numbly now. He reached out to cup Berwald's face in his hands, stroking his cheek in silent plead of don't leave me, and Berwald pressed their lips together and pulled him closer before responding.
"I'll never leave ya', y'know. Especially not 'ver that, none a'that was yer fault. Why didja think I would leave f'ya told me?" He finally asked.
"… I mean… It really doesn't matter, I just…" Tino started, sighing a little. Really all he wanted to do was keep kissing Berwald, over and over and over to make him remember how good they went together, but right now Berwald wanted this for some fucking reason and so he would keep giving him this. "I don't know. When someone tells you that you're a fuck up for so long, and they know you, you just kind of assume that everyone else will think so, too."
"Yer not a fuck up." Berwald was finally able to tell him, but Tino cut him off before he could respond to the rest.
"I was the result of a broken condom." Tino dead-panned, not angrily and not bitterly, just honestly.
"Doesn't make ya a fuck up."
What Tino wanted to say was yes it does, but he didn't want to risk any sort of fight with Berwald and so instead he just leaned in and took another kiss. Berwald indulged him again, letting him take a few more before he picked up the conversation again.
"Yer not a fuck up. I know you, an' I know yer not. An'… an' I'm not sure where t'start with some'a this, or the right things t'say. I know tha' I hate yer dad fer hurtin' ya, an' I'm sorry."
"You can hate him all you want sweetie, I do too you know." Tino smiled, and Berwald moved a hand to play with Tino's hair.
"I jus'… tha's not right at all. Yer so perfect. N'one should treat ya like that."
Tino leaned into the hand on his head, smiling a little while he thought of a response.
"I mean… I don't know. The way he saw it I just sucked up money that he could have been using for booze and taking time with mum away. And I was kind of always a little fag I guess. I was all of his worst fears kinda."
"Yer not defending him." Berwald insisted, staring Tino dead in the eyes.
"No… I guess he just thought I deserved it."
"But ya didn't."
"He didn't think that."
"He was wrong."
Tino shrugged and Berwald frowned, and Tino just gave him another lazy kiss.
"I dun' wan' ya goin' back there." Berwald finally declared after the kiss.
"I don't have anywhere else to go." Tino shrugged, and Berwald shook his head.
"I'll take ya." Berwald insisted.
"Would your parents really be okay with that?" Tino asked, smiling a sad smile. It was a nice thought, at least.
"Jus' mum. She wouldn' mind. I'll even let ya' talk t'her." Berwald insisted again.
"…You're serious." Tino observed.
"I am. M'not letting ya get hurt again."
There weren't many times that Berwald put his foot down. He usually just settled, let Tino have whatever he wanted or decided was best, but this time it didn't look like that was going to happen. He didn't want to burden Berwald, he didn't want to make him have to worry about one more person under his roof, but going with him would, admittedly, be such a wonderful thing…
"…I guess we can worry about that closer to the end of the year." Tino gave in. Berwald really didn't look like he was going to cave on this.
"We'll make it happen."
There was quiet between them for a bit again, and Tino took the opportunity to steal a few more kisses. Berwald kissed back, using the hand on Tino's head to tilt the other back a bit to deepen the kisses. He needed a while to think about what he wanted to say next, and Tino probably needed some more affection.
Tino sighed happily, enjoying the feel of Berwald's tongue probing his mouth. It was so nice to feel so close to him, and he wrapped his arms around the other's neck to get more comfortable while they kissed. This was what he needed. When they parted Tino's lips were still parted, and he smiled dazedly and adoringly at his lover.
"Love you." He murmured, contentedly.
"I love yoo too." Berwald responded, taking in how beautiful Tino looked when he got all flushed and disheveled like that.
After a while more of comfortable silence, Berwald started again.
"… Would ya 'ver need t'choke again?"
"Not when I'm with you." Tino replied. "… Maybe if I was home again, and we were apart and I couldn't get to you, but… I won't do it if it makes you not want me."
"Doesn't make me not want ya." Berwald started. "It just… worries me."
"Does it creep you out?" Tino asked, a little calmer than he had been for quite a while. "I know a lot of people see it as weird and stuff."
Berwald shook his head.
"No. I only worry 'cause it hurts ya, an' I don't want ya t'hurt."
"It didn't hurt though." Tino tried to explain. "It helped."
"Left bruises. An it's dangerous."
"I'm fine though." Tino shrugged, and Berwald moved a hand to rub Tino's waist.
"But ya' coulda hurt yerself or…" Berwald trailed off, not even wanting to finish the thought. "It's dangerous. Just don't wanna risk losin' ya from it. S'why it scared me."
"Oh, baby." Tino cooed, leaning in and pressing his lips hard against Berwald's before responding. "It's okay my baby, don't be scared. You won't lose me. Oh sweetie."
Berwald leaned closer, burying his head in the crook of Tino's neck, and Tino pressed a kiss against his hair.
"… M'sorry I ran off tha' night. Wasn't th'best way to express that."
Tino swayed a little, rocking Berwald with him a bit and humming.
"I should have told you what I was doing. I just… when you were touching my neck like that I got carried away and that was wrong."
"Wasn't yer fault. Should've just told yoo I was scared of hurtin' yoo."
"I know you are. The only thing that hurts anymore is not having you, though."
"…M'sorry I hurt ya more than I woulda 'f I actually… hurt ya."
"Just don't ever leave me again." Tino murmured.
"I won't. Promise, I won't ever. But'm still sorry."
"…I'm not mad at you." Tino started. "I'm not upset at you either. It just hurt a lot and I think I'll have a hard time coping… and I just need you to help me cope."
The best thing Berwald could think to do was lean in and capture Tino's lips again, needy now to be close, and Tino let him kiss him over, and over, and over again, just soaking up the attention. He could feel himself getting light off of the kissing, and he let himself drift deeper into the sensation.
"…Do they still hurt?" Berwald asked quietly after some more kissing, and Tino just hummed a little while he tried to bring himself back to being coherent.
"Does what hurt?"
"…Bruises." He asked, lowly, and Tino just hummed again.
"I don't really notice them anymore." Tino shrugged, and it was a good enough answer in his opinion but he could tell from the way that Berwald was searching his eyes that that he needed to know more to be satisfied.
"Ber?" Tino asked, quietly.
"Hm?" Berwald hummed now, and Tino reached a hand up to stroke his hair.
"…I can show you them, if you want." He offered, quietly, not sure if he was ready but not wanting to risk disappointing him anymore.
"… Would you?" Berwald asked, after a moment.
"Anything for you. You said you needed to know."
Berwald nodded, slowly, and Tino leaned in for one more kiss as though he could somehow draw the strength he needed from it.
"I love you. I love you more than anything." He whispered, hands moving to the choker against his neck, to the buckle, and then to the strap that hid his skin for so long that he sometimes forgot it was even there.
"I love you, too. More'n anythin'." Berwald whispered back, and at that Tino closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath as he undid the fucking thing quick as he could before he lost his nerve. He let it fall behind him on the sheets, swallowing nervously and opening his now glassy eyes to let himself be fully, fully bared to Berwald for the first time.
Berwald did not flinch away, he did not grimace, he did not look like he was going to be sick at the sight of his black and purple and yellowing skin- no, Berwald leaned in and kissed him, right over all of his bruises. And then again. And then again. And then over, and over, and over again, over every single bit of bruise, ravenously and desperately as though it were something worth wanting, and Tino could feel the sobs bubbling up in his throat because what good thing had he ever done to earn something as wonderful as this-
"You are perfect." Berwald whispered against Tino's skin, and that was what finally made Tino break down, tightening his hold on Berwald as he held on for dear life.
"Oh god Berwald!" Tino cried as the Swede kissed him, his sobs shaking his tiny frame. "Oh god, oh Berwald how are you so perfect how do you love me why do you love me please never stop loving me-"
"I will never stop." Berwald whispered against the bruises. "I will love you forever. Every inch a'you. All this, too. I love you, Tino. You."
And Tino just cried and cried, mumbling thank you's in between the tears, and Berwald just kissed, and kissed, and kissed, all the way until Tino's sobs finally slowed a little.
"…You're beautiful." Berwald finally offered, still with his lips pressed to Tino's neck, and Tino smiled a shaky smile.
"My god Berwald. How did I ever get lucky enough to end up with you?" He asked, shakily, a sob breaking loose, and Berwald hushed him and gave another kiss.
"Because you're th'one I was meant t'be with." Berwald declared, not leaving much room for debate, and Tino took a jittery breath in.
"Thank god for that, oh… oh god Berwald. You're so good to me, I… oh…."
"Are y'okay?" Berwald asked, rubbing Tino's back to try and soothe him.
"I… I don't know." Tino murmured, trying to keep his voice from cracking with another sob that would worry Berwald. "I… I'm so relieved. I'm so, so grateful. I'm also confused. I'm still reeling. I… I'm a lot of things, and I'm better than I've been but my head is still spinning… I guess sea sick is a good way to try and describe it all." He chuckled, not even sure where he found it in himself to laugh. It was a tired, confused, laugh, and Berwald blamed himself for tiring his lover out like that and went back to kissing him in compensation.
"…Let me try t'help ya feel better. Tell me what t'do." Berwald finally murmured between kisses, and Tino hummed in appreciation.
"Love me." He begged softly, and Berwald shifted to catch his eyes.
"I do. Tino, I will love you and need you and cherish you always."
"And I am so grateful, because I have never needed anything more than I needed that…. but I also meant love me." Tino stressed, moving his hand to grope at Berwald's cock. He started to rub and press at the length, smiling a little bit as he did, and the Swede couldn't help but moan a low moan as he felt his cock twitching to life in the Finn's hands.
"Will tha' help ?" Berwald asked, honestly wondering, because he would never turn down a chance to be as connected as possible with Tino but Tino probably already felt naked enough and what if he was scared and just saying things again-
"Yes." Tino replied, certainty in his tone, and all of Berwald's doubts from the past moment were pushed aside as Tino caught his lips and continued to touch him. Berwald couldn't help but moan again, this time into the kiss, and the next many kisses, and he could feel himself getting more and more desperate for the touches the longer Tino kissed him and stroked him-
"You know… there are things I wanted to know about you too." Tino murmured, shifting so that he was between Berwald's legs, his face at Berwald's cock as he freed it from his boxers.
"Hn- like what?" Berwald asked, panting heavily.
"Like… what you think about when I do this. What you think about when you call me wife. What you like." Tino drawled, pressing a kiss against the base of the cock. Berwald had to catch his breath before he could respond.
"Hn… like everythin' ya do when we do this…" Berwald panted.
"I know there's more you like, sweetie." Tino pressed, dragging his tongue across the slit of the shaft. "You started to tell me last night. Darling, tell me all about it. I want to be good for you."
"Nnn- hah…" Berwald gasped, trying to catch his breath enough to speak. "Ya are good…"
At that Tino sat up a little, still gripping Berwald's cock but meeting his eyes.
"Berwald. Please." He started, quietly. "Let me be better for you. Tell me what you like."
"Like you. Love you. Yer perfect." Berwald insisted. Tino shook his head a little.
"I know there's things you fantasize about. Please, let me do them."
"Ya let me call ya wife." Ber pointed out, sighing a little as his length throbbed impatiently. Tino gave it gentle stroke, trying to soothe the ache.
"Because I am your wife, sweetie. But I know calling me that's not all you like." He replied, still stroking.
"Hnn- all that was tha' important." Berwald responded, gasping at the touches still.
"Berwald." Tino started again, gently. "Please. Let me do this. I want to."
"…Why?" Berwald finally asked, giving the Finn a chance to explain.
"Because I need you. Because making you feel good," he explained, squeezing at the Swede's shaft again "is what helps me. I need to do this, Berwald. Please. I'm trying…" He trailed off. "…I need you, Berwald. And I need to..."
He could see the sincerity and the need in Tino's gaze, and the understanding came to him that this really was going to be Tino's new way of coping. Slowly he nodded, taking a breath before starting to speak.
"…Like thinking 'bout yoo all dolled up." He started, awkwardly, shy about his fantasies. Tino smiled, pleased with the compliance, and moved his head back to the aching member.
"Yeah?" He asked encouragingly, kissing the tip.
"Mmhm- aah…" Berwald moaned.
"Tell me about what you'd want me to wear, baby." He prodded, nuzzling at the shaft, and he could feel Berwald's breath hitching.
"Hn… jus' pretty things…" He murmured.
"Like?" Tino asked, opening his mouth and taking the tip in, licking at it.
"Knulla- nn, dresses… aprons…" The Swede started, and Tino could feel him getting harder on his tongue while he said it. It made him hum in appreciation. He started to bob his head slowly over the length, and Berwald gasped and moaned and pressed closer to the Finn's perfect mouth. Tino wasn't about to let Berwald stop there, though, and he took his mouth off of the cock momentarily to get Berwald to keep talking.
"Yeah? What else darling? Do you like panties? Lingerie?" He asked, and Berwald moaned and nodded.
"Yes… d'love to see ya in some… both…" he mumbled, face red, and Tino smiled and rewarded him with a hard suck to the base of his cock.
"Good sweetie." He praised. "We can get some darling, and I'll be nice and pretty for you. And dresses, you said? Pretty ones that fit the waist nice? Ones that have skirts that are easy to lift up and see panties under?" Tino asked sweetly, and Berwald moaned again. Fuck. Tino was good at talking dirty.
"Yes…" Berwald gasped shakily, and Tino kissed the tip again.
"Keep talking, sweetie." Tino directed, before taking the head of the Swede's cock in his mouth again.
"Hu-ah…" Berwald groaned, pressing closer to the Finn's mouth again. Tino took his length deeper into his mouth quicker this time, and the Swede reminded himself that he needed to speak to keep Tino working on his cock.
"Hn… yer so pretty… so beautiful…" He started, between heavy breaths. "Hn- ya'd just look so perfect all prettied up… hn, dress… 'n panties…" he blushed, the words foreign to his tongue. He'd never admitted this to anyone before. He reached a hand to twist into Tino's hair, admiring the softness. "Maybe 'd play with yer hair…"
Tino moved his mouth off of the length momentarily again, kissing it wetly before responding.
"Good boy. Good husband. Curl it, maybe?" Tino offered to his fantasizing, then leaned back down and took the cock back in his mouth.
Berwald nodded frantically, moaning again.
"Hn… yeah… it'd be so pretty… then I'd hafta touch ya…"
Tino nodded on his dick, humming in agreement before pulling off.
"How would you touch me?" He whispered, breathlessly, eagerly, stroking the length vigorously now that he'd removed his lips. He was starting to become aroused by the idea himself. He could get used to it, he was sure. It made Berwald so happy, surely he could learn to love it too. He was already starting too, with the way it pleased his darling so much.
"Uhn… I'd grab yer waist and make ya' come close." He mumbled, starting to get a little bolder with his thoughts. "I'd hafta touch yer hair, yer pretty face, yer lips… yer hips… I'd lift up yer skirt, look at yer panties. Then I'd hafta pull 'em down a bit."
"Oh god-" Tino gasped a little, rubbing his own hardening cock against the sheets. It would make him vulnerable, and maybe be a little humiliating… but it made Berwald so happy, so enthusiastic to touch him. That made him want it a little more. "Yeah?"
"Ja." Berwald agreed. "Ya' could get over m'lap so I could finger you. Yer always so tight, so I'd need t'loosen ya' fer m'cock, wife." He panted, starting to get into it.
"Oh." Tino shivered, licking his lips. He had never seen Berwald so eager. "What if we did that part now?" He asked, breathy, eyes glazed over with lust.
"Get over m'lap." Berwald told him, softly, and Tino shifted to do so eagerly, presenting his ass ever-willingly to the other.
"I want you." He whined. "Husband, please."
That made it impossible for Berwald to hold back. He took his fingers and put them at the Finn's lips, pressing them in.
"Suck." He demanded, breath shaky. Tino complied easily, sucking and coating them with a generous amount of saliva. It was lucky he was quick, because after only moments Berwald pulled the fingers out of his mouth and pressed the middle one at his tight, puckered hole.
"Oh…" Tino whimpered, spreading his thighs apart a bit more and pressing closer, and at that Berwald shoved the digit in all the way up to the knuckle and earned a small cry from the Finn.
"Nn!" He squealed, hole clenching onto the thick intrusion, and Berwald wormed the finger around roughly. He watched the hole try to accommodate his finger, and his length throbbed hard as he did. He continued to prod, groaning when Tino whined as he brushed against a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves.
"Yer m'wife." Berwald panted, starting to thrust the finger. "My pretty wife."
"Yes!" Tino cried out, tearing up in pleasure, letting his hole be prodded around in. He continued to lay where he was and take the fingering, only squirming a little to rub his length against Berwald's lap.
"Hn- ya like this." Berwald panted, and Tino nodded frantically. Unable to resist any longer, Berwald pressed another finger inside and Tino whimpered and mewled desperately.
"Yes yes yes yes yes." The Finn moaned, panting and still rubbing himself against Berwald's lap. "Berwald please I- oh- soon…"
Understanding that his lover wasn't going to last much longer, Berwald pulled his fingers out and flipped Tino so that he was laying with his back against the bed. Tino stared up at him, dazed, and Berwald leaned in and kissed him possessively as he lined his cock up at his hole.
"Wanted t'see yer face when I make y'cum." Berwald whispered huskily against Tino's lips, and Tino nodded eagerly and opened his legs wider. That was all the invitation that Berwald needed to push inside of him, grunting at the tight heat and starting to thrust in desperately.
"Oh- oh fuck!" Tino moaned, toes curling. He wanted to cling, but Berwald did say he wanted to see his face and so he reached out for a hand to hold. Berwald leaned down and pressed a kiss against his cheek, linking his fingers through the Finn's and pinning him against the mattress while he thrust in desperately, his lover a moaning, whimpering mess under him.
"Please, please, please-" Tino panted, clenching while his thighs twitched, and Berwald continued to thrust and shifted to gaze down at the other's pretty face while he fucked him.
"Yer so beautiful." He murmured, though the words may have gotten lost in the sea of moans and cries coming from the other's lips. Instead he decided to communicate it through more kisses all over the Fin's neck, stealing glances up at his perfect, pretty face inbetween.
It didn't take either of them long to finish.
Berwald came first, filling the Finn up with his seed and groaning Tino's name all while he did. Through the haze he managed to keep thrusting vigorously into the other, and not too long after Tino was finally able to climax. The orgasm came in waves, and he rode it out with wet, swollen lips and fluttery eyelashes as he gazed up at his love. Berwald almost got hard all over again from the precious face that Tino made when he came, but the exhaustion from his own orgasm soon overcame him. He pulled out with a grunt and fell onto the sheets next to his lover, pulling him close against him and pressing a kiss onto the crown of his hair.
"That… was really good." Tino said after they both caught their breath. It was a gross understatement, but he couldn't be bothered to root through his brain for better adjectives at the moment.
"Ja." Berwald agreed, rubbing Tino's back lazily as he held him close.
"…Thank you." Tino said softly after a minute, and Berwald glanced down at him.
"I should be tellin' you that."
"No. Really, thank you. Berwald… do you know how much you do for me?" Tino asked, and Berwald lazily ran a hand over his waist.
"Hope a lot. Y'deserve so much."
"More than a lot. More than so much." Tino insisted, leaning up and pecking Berwald on the lips. "So much more than anything you could ever know. You make everything so, so good."
"…Do I make ya' that happy?" Berwald asked softly, pulling Tino into a lazy cuddle against the pillows. Tino nodded, cuddling closer to him.
"You do." He murmured, collapsed against him.
"…Glad we're on the same page." The Swede finally hummed, and Tino nodded and nuzzled onto him.
"We still have lot t'talk about."
"I know. Just… I want to stay like this." The Finn cuddled against his lover more, earning him a peck on the cheek.
"This?" The other murmured.
"Good. Secure. With you." Tino explained. "I want our life together. I will do whatever you want, just… I want this." He gestured with his hand, having given up on words with his head still spinning from the talking and the kissing and the cumming.
"Want this, too. We'll keep it." Berwald assured. "Talking'll help."
And at that the Finnish teen was too tired to bring anymore words from his lips, and again he settled against his lover for some more much needed sleep while Berwald lay awake holding him swearing to himself that he'd find ways to make the rest of Tino's life better than what he'd had to suffer already.
Author's note: I have no excuses as to why this is late. I'd love to say I'd get better, but that may be a lie. But one thing I know is the truth is that this story has always been a source of solace for me in these hard times that life can bring, and I only hope it offers something to all of you out there, too. Thank you for everyone who has continued to leave reviews and waited to see this baby update. You're all wonderful. I'm quite terrible at this, but this piece means more to me than you could ever know and I hope you're all still enjoying it, too. Reviews have always been so well loved.