It rained all day today. My dog hates the rain, too.

It was raining. Nobody in the Akatsuki liked the rain.

Except for Zetsu, that is. He loved the rain. Well, as much as an abomination of the natural world could love something. Which really isn't very much.

Either way, it felt good to sit outside in the pouring rain.

So Zetsu did just that.

Stark naked.

"He's so goddamn fuckin' weird," Hidan growled. Or, he meant to growl. It came out more like a cross between a snarl and the noise an angry cougar makes.

"And you aren't?" Itachi commented dryly from the couch, inspecting his hand. Hidan shot him a particularly nasty glare, which had zero effect. "It's fucking rude to interrupt people, you blind cunt," He spat.

Kakazu snorted from the other room. "You're one to talk."

"HEY, GO FUCK YOURSELF, GRANDPA!" Hidan yelled back. Muttering obscenities, he turned his attention back to his cards, all of which made for terrible plays. "Fucker," he growled more bitterly.

Without a sound, Sasori appeared standing in the doorway of the make-shift living room. He had a grimace etched on his smooth face. "Why is Zetsu sitting naked in front of my window?" He asked in a disconcertingly collected tone. Normally he wouldn't have even made a displeased face, but the rain made his wooden joints ache, and that made him cranky. Yes, cranky for Sasori was a displeased face.

Hidan tossed him a sidelong glance, continuing to grumble to himself. "Hell if I know. Hell if anybody knows what that fucker's thinking." Itachi remained in the exact same position he'd been in for the past half an hour.

Kakazu's gravelly voice drifted in. "Why don't you ask him?" He emerged from his room and leaned against the entry. Sticking a cigarette between his lips, he flicked open a lighter and lit the tip.

"Yeah, like I'm gonna go out there if the fuckin' rain and ask that bipolar flytrap what the hell he's up to." Hidan scoffed loudly, watching Itachi intensely. He was going to beat this Uchiha bitch at poker, and if he couldn't do it with skill, he'd do it with cheating.

Sasori sighed when Kakazu looked at him. "I won't rot just to find out what his motives are. If he even has any." With that he was gone, off to hang a sheet over the window that offered a less-than-modest front row seat to views of Zetsu that Sasori did not appreciate.

Kakazu took a drag from his cigarette. He didn't bother to even look at Itachi, and he sure as hell wasn't going to do it himself.

It was quiet for a while. Until:

"Don't cheat."


So, Zetsu continued to sit happily outside, naked, until the rain finally stopped.

It rained for three days straight.