Title: Declarations vs. Vows of Silence
Word Count: 1844
Summary: Confessions are good for the soul.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters.
PuckRachel Drabble meme: Rachel's over Finn and is just interested in being his friend. She's actually interested in Puck. Quinn doesn't believe her and is yelling at her in glee about how she's trying to steal Finn away from her and always trying to ruin her life. Rachel's had enough of always being blamed for Quinn's mistakes and yells back at her. While she's in the middle of venting/defending herself she accidentally admits to wanting Noah and not Finn to the entire group. - ayleecambell
Rachel tried to hold her tongue, she really did. It was not her first instinct; it was not her usual way. She was Rachel Berry—holding back her thoughts went against everything that was Rachel Berry. But she tried for the first time to do so. Finn was her friend; that's all he was and, for once, she was fine with that. So, for his sake and his relationship, every time Quinn made a harsh comment or threw a thinly veiled insult, she smiled and pretended she did not hear it or, even worse, that she did not get the girl's meaning. She knew the rest of the group was watching, waiting for the day when she would explode. Santana, Puck and Lauren who were the most devious of the group sent her sly grins and amused eyebrows; they knew she was a ticking time bomb. The other day Santana even walked by her in the hall whispering: 'tic, tic, tic… Berry, sooner or later you're going to give it to Fabray, I can't wait.'
Mercedes and Kurt had taken to sitting next to her, their hands inches away from her wrist at all times just waiting for the moment when they needed to hold her back. Poor Sam, Tina, Mike and Artie just looked uncomfortable; they were the more impartial spectators who did not really have a horse in the Quinn vs. Rachel race. Brittany, bless her, was oblivious to tension and Finn, while grimacing and throwing her sympathetic glances every time Quinn started in on her, was not helping at all by seeking her out. She tried to explain to him that every time he turned to her, he gave Quinn more reason to attack her but he would not stop and she realized that it was his way of testing the blonde girl's loyalty. He might want to be with Quinn but her lies were still fresh and wounds run deep. She wished she wasn't in the middle of it, she was over Finn but still nursing a broken heart and a bruised ego; and, the situation wasn't helping that.
But she sucked it up because she decided that Quinn wasn't completely off. There was a time when she was still pursuing Finn even if she wasn't now and she can deal with it as a form of punishment, her own silent cross to bear.
"Okay, so we'll have Finn and Rachel sing leads." Mr. Schuester said cheerfully, unaware of the way the tension rose at his words and as she cringed for once, not happy with having to sing. She thought that her teacher might be more clueless then sweet Brittany.
"Of course," Quinn murmured, her voice slowly picking up volume and Rachel instantly knew that her vow of silence was about to come to a loud end. Kurt knew it, too, if the alarmed 'epp!' that came out of his mouth and the fact that his hand was now on her arm while he frantically gestured Mercedes to do the same was anything to go by. "You must just love that, what did you do, Rachel? Beg Mr. Schuester to give you time with my boyfriend?"
"Stop!" She said tiredly, her temple starting to throb.
"When are you going to get that he's not with you anymore?" Quinn powered through, rising to her feet, ignoring Mr. Schuester as he tried to calm her down.
"Quinn," she tried to reason with the girl. "Just calm…"
"When are you going to stop trying to ruin my life!" Quinn exclaimed, frustrated, tears welling up in her pretty green eyes.
Rachel stared at her incredulously, aware that a pin drop could be heard in the quiet room, so much so, that when she let out a disbelieving laugh, it echoed in the room. Standing up herself, she pulled away from Mercedes and Kurt's hold. "I'm trying to ruin your life?"
"Yes!" Quinn shouted, not backing down when Rachel got in her face.
"Who's been making whose life a living hell for sheer amusement, Quinn?" Rachel asked. "Or have you forgotten all the things you use to write on my videos? 'If you were my parents you'd sell me back' or 'get sterilized'. Don't those comments ring any bells?"
"You were after my boyfriend." Quinn countered.
"Not then… I wasn't, back then Finn didn't even register on my radar."
"After he joined Glee."
Rachel shrugged, not disagreeing with the statement. "I did. But I didn't tie him to me. Every time Finn came to me, he did willingly, even now when he seeks me out… it's him."
"Every time I turned, you guys were together, singing, talking," Quinn let out, tired. "If it hadn't been for that, Puck and I would have never happen."
Rachel looked over at the boy in question, surprised when she found him staring straight at her. She tried to convey her apology for dragging him into this fight and let out a sigh of relief at the small nod he gave her to continue. Turning back to Quinn, she narrowed her eyes and let loose."I got you pregnant, Quinn? Did I make you, the Chastity Queen, have sex? To not use a condom? Did I lie to Finn about your magical fertile hot tub? I didn't make you cheat on your boyfriend with his best friend."
"It wouldn't have happened if you weren't always right there, always seeking him out, making sure he sees you there waiting for him to pick you. You were after him then and you are after him now! You want him!"
"No, I don't!" Rachel shouted, at the end of her rope, she could feel her anger growing and crashing into her like waves at the ongoing and pointless conversation. "I haven't wanted Finn for a while now!"
"Yeah right," Quinn mocked. "Since when?"
"Since Noah and I kissed again!" She roared. "I don't want Finn… okay, Quinn! I want Noah!"
She heard the words echo in the room and was too late to take back. God she wished she could take them back so very badly.
She heard the whispers as Quinn and her stared at each other, amazed at what just came out of her mouth. Kurt's incredulous 'holy crap', Brittany's awed 'puckleberry' and Lauren's amused 'this place is better than TV.'
She looked at Finn first because it was safer and she hadn't worked up the nerve to look at the other boy in question. He looked like a kicked puppy and she wanted to actually kick him at that moment because it seemed like that that had her in this now very embarrassing moment. Shaking her head, she moved her gaze to Puck, his face was surprisingly blank. She had expected a smirk, a leer…something. She had just proclaimed that not only did she not want Finn, the boy she was sure she had wanted forever with, but that she actually wanted Puck. God did she want him! She always had a healthy appreciation for his beauty, she was a teenage girl after all, and even Finn with his boyish smile and charm didn't possess the physical perfection that Noah did. After Finn had broken up with her, she had spent her days missing him but her nights were consumed with thoughts of Noah: of them in her bed and what would have happened had he not stopped them. She wouldn't like to lie to herself and deep down she knew the answer. She wouldn't have stopped them, it was then that she realized that she could let go of Finn and slowly she did.
"Well," she said quietly, clearing her throat, her gaze set on Puck as his was on her. "Since the ground doesn't seem like it's going to open up and swallow me whole, I'll be leaving now."
Turning on her heel with military-like precision, she walked out of the music room, leaving everyone and everything behind before anyone could get a word out.
"So, you want my body."
Rachel sighed as she looked out at the football field, she figured that someone would come after her eventually. She had just hope against hope that it would be Kurt. "Please, go away."
Unsurprisingly he didn't listen and sat down next to her on the bleacher, pulling her pink trolley. "You left it behind when you bolted."
"Humiliation makes people forgetful." She mumbled, still looking straight ahead. "Why are you here, Noah?"
"Santana…" Puck answered. "She said to get my ass in gear."
Surprised, Rachel looked at Puck. "Santana?"
Puck shrugged. "She's happy… me, she and Lauren had a small pool between us on when you were going to let loose on Q, today falls on her days."
Rachel rolled her eyes but did not comment.
"It's only fair you know," Puck said after a few minutes of silence.
"That you want my body." Puck grinned.
Rachel blushed as she glared at him.
"I've wanted yours for so long… it's about time you returned the favor." He continued.
"I don't want just your body, Noah." She shouted, her eyes widening at her latest declaration. She snapped her hand over her mouth, groaning into her hands as she covered her face with them. She felt him shift closer to her, his knee against hers, his hand on her nape squeezing and rubbing slowly. He did not say anything and simply waited until she uncovered her face.
Slowly she looked at him, grateful that while he had a smile on his face it didn't seem like he was mocking her.
"Wanting your body would be easy, Noah," she said honestly, deciding that if she was going to confess, it might as well be a full confession. "It's the fact that I want all of you that messed me up."
Puck took her hand in his; his thumb ran over her knuckles. "I know the feeling, Rachel."
She looked up at him, hopeful. "You want me?"
"You want to be with me." She stated, a little dazed, her stomach clenching with excitement as he nodded and leaned in closer to her.
"Every day." He repeated, closing the distance between their mouths, giving her a slow and thorough kiss.
"Noah," she breathed, smiling into the kiss.
"I want you, Rachel," Puck grinned, as she busily kissed his cheek, unable to stop touching him in her happiness. "Every loud crazy inch of you… that day in your room, it hit me and I had to stop, I didn't want it to be…"
"About Finn." She finished.
"It's not about Finn anymore, Noah." She kissed him softly. "He's my friend and that's all I want him to be."
Puck nodded. "Yeah?"
He smirked as he pulled her onto his lap. "Cool."
Rachel laughed, circling her arms around his neck. "Noah, can we make out now? Confessions are good for the soul but I'm done for today and my soul feels fine."
Puck's smirk grew as his hand gripped her thigh. "Then let's take care of your body, Baby."