Disclaimer: I do not own anything from "Horton Hears a Who" Only name changes and my characters. I also mixed a few real named TV shows, which aren't mine either.

Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm back in the flesh and super motivated too! I'm so happy to be back into the writer's world and it felt so good to actually write something for myself (and not for school). Hopefully I still have some magic in my fingers and will get good reviews and views. So please enjoy and I will check you guys back in Chapter 1!


I'm sick of this, all of it. Every single freaking moment of it. "Oh, it's Mr. 'Jojo' himself?" this, or "I betchu you feel too good for us, huh?" that. Why can' people just shut up and take a moment to think about I feel before they sit here and put all my business on blast? Not one person ever thinks about the consequences of being a star, being on top. It's not always about money, cars, traveling, or how many chicks I can bring back to my hotel either. No one ever thinks about the constant stress I'm put under every single day of my crappy life. When some people think, "Look at Jamie. He probably sleeps under money. Probably owns over twenty private jets. And let's not even speak about how many girls he has flocking under him all the time." And so on, it makes me sick.

If only all that crap was actually true. My mother, Tabitha, said that by becoming an actor will help me become a man. She said that I will be able to take care of her like a good son should. Pay for all those doctor visits and rehab bills she has. (And yes I said rehab. My mother is a drug addict all right. But "'Jojo' is perfect. He doesn't have problems. He has money so he's fine." If only that was true.) "Becoming an actor can help me get off this stuff," she said. If becoming an actor is supposed to help her stop then where's the result? She seems to be getting deeper and deeper every day. And because of my contract, she takes 45% of what I make, 15% goes to taxes, 20% goes to all my bills and expenses, and 20% is my money to keep. Well whip-dee-freakin'-doo. But that's just money and my DM ('Drug Mother', she thinks that means 'Dancing Mama' but the only dancing she does is the 'Druggy' when she's high) My Pops, (if he still alive) left us at the hospital when I was born. The bastard actually put 'Devil's Spawn' on my Birth Certificate. Why my DM named me after this convicted serial killer, I will probably never find out. (He was convicted for killing two sisters back in 1984, set free for lack of evidence. But, I know that lunatic did it. It's all in his eyes in his pictures. The worst part is that my DM knew it too but still was crazy enough to lay up and have a kid by him. I'm ashamed for her.)

And hey, that's only the tip of the iceberg! Ha-ha. Ha. I find this crap hilarious too. No one knows about this either. The media will do anything to get a new cover story on you but the movie industry works over time for that. They bribe big snitches like, "The Outsider" or "ZMT" to keep their little notebooks empty about their actors. Luckily it's worked ever since. Sucks for people who work for lower industries because if they can't match the amount they would get from your business being out there then you're done. And the industries out there are filled with secrets, lies, and blackmail. They have more problems than the first episode of, "Girl Gossiping". And to top it all off, once you're in, you can't get out. It's like being in a gang: If you can take the industries bullshit, the media, the press, and countless people snooping in your history than you're apart on the big secret. You try to tell the world? Go ahead. Do it. But if they find out it's you then they will do the following; 1. Make a cover story to act like that isn't true or it's just a skit or something. 2. Call "Human Resources" to teach you a couple of things. (Probably painful things too) 3. Make everyone you know, love, and care about, turn against you. 4. Make your life a living hell until you die or ultimately disappear off the face of the world. And all in four perfect steps. Not a beat missed. "Money is the ruler of all evil" And they weren't lying either.

So where do I come into this? I don't know. I guess we'll find out though, huh?

If you can't stand the rain, then stay inside.

~ Jaime 'Jojo' Harpner Jr. ~