Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
The quotes that I use from the season 3 finale are not mine, I do not claim them. They belong to the epic Will Beall, I only borrow them.
More than our Mistakes
"No one…No one outside of this immediate family ever needs to know about this. As far as the world is concerned, Roy Montgomery died a hero. We owe it to him. All of us."
Kate Beckett's voice was low, her eyes serious, as she spoke to the men sitting around the table in her apartment. None of them spoke, but they all met her eyes in a silent vow of agreement before heading to the funeral.
The drums played as they walked the casket carrying Captain Roy Montgomery's body to what would be his final resting place. Castle was the only Paul Bearer who was not a member of the NYPD; a distinction he has been both surprised and honored by. The weight of the casket was like lead in his hand and served as a reminder that the events of the past few days were more real than he wanted them to be. As they gently set the casket next to the grave and placed their gloved hands on the lid in a final goodbye he glanced briefly at Kate. He could see the barely controlled emotions all over her face and she swallowed hard as they turned to face forward. Rick pulled off his sunglasses as he looked at Roy's family. His wife had tears openly running down her face as her daughters sat to each side of her.
The flag on the casket was folded and handed to Roy's wife and Kate had to look away from the woman's raw emotion. She wanted to fall apart like that herself, but she was expected to speak. She took a deep breath as she stepped up to the podium at the head of the casket.
"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices…but we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us there is no victory, there are only battles. And in the end, the best that you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you."
She paused in her speech for a moment to look over at Castle, who was standing off to the side of the podium in a silent show of support. Their eyes met and Kate's lips turned up in a brief smile before she turned back to the mourners.
"Our Captain would want us to carry on the fight…"
Beckett's words faded to background noise as Castle caught sight of something flashing behind the gravestones at the far side of the cemetery. It was gone before he could pinpoint its location and his gaze lingered in the general direction it had come from. A second later he saw it again and in the same instance that he recognized it for what it was, he heard the shot. His world stopped revolving except for the woman in front of him. He dove for her, screaming her name.
He wrapped his arms around her and threw both of them to the ground. He knew from how limp her body was that he had been too late. He moved himself over her and briefly saw the blood on her glove as he slid a hand behind her neck and moved one down to rest on her side. He was not aware of any of the insanity going on around him. People were screaming and running but he didn't notice any of it. As his eyes met hers he could already see that he was losing her.
"Shhh, Kate please. Stay with me Kate. Don't leave me…please."
Tears ran down the side of her face and he moved his hand up and down her side, the other one still supporting her neck. His whole body shook and his eyes never left hers as he tried to get her to respond. A small part of his brain acknowledged the fact that this may be the last time he ever spoke to her.
"Kate I love you. I love you Kate." He choked the words out, his face inches from hers, his breathing ragged and his eyes pleading with her to just stay with him. He felt her neck go limp as her eyes rolled back in her head and her eyelids fluttered shut. Tears flooded his vision as all at once the world surrounding them came rushing back at him, full force.
Lanie came crashing to the ground on her knees beside him, tears streaming down her face, Esposito right behind her.
"Lanie! Stay down!"
Lanie paid no attention to him as she shoved Castle aside and checked for a pulse.
"KATE god dammit don't you do this!" She screamed at the woman lying on the ground. "We need to get pressure on this wound." Her eyes searched frantically around them and Castle ripped off his jacket and shoved it into her hands.
"Esposito, GO! Catch the bastard that did this before he gets away again." She screamed at Esposito as she pressed Castle's jacket against Kate's side. Esposito's eyes met Castle's over Lanie's head. Castle nodded numbly and Esposito took off running. Castle glanced up briefly to see Kate's dad standing with his mother and Alexis. The three of them clung to each other as uniformed officers kept them back from Kate. The wail of the ambulance came shrieking towards them and Castle had never been so happy to hear a sound in his entire life. Medics came running up with a stretcher.
"No pulse." Lanie said sharply. The medic nodded to her as the put Kate on the stretcher and carried her towards the waiting ambulance. Castle was on his feet in an instant and right behind them.
"Sir, you can't ride with her."
"The hell I can't.."
"Castle." he felt Lanie's hand on his arm. "Let them do their job. You don't want to be in there for that."
"Lanie…I can't leave her…"
Her grip on his arm tightened as the medics slammed the ambulance door shut. He swallowed hard as he watched them pull away. His body started shaking even harder and Lanie wrapped her arms around him.
"Shh. Let's get to the hospital."
"You said…no pulse…"
Her eyes filled with tears as they met his.
"But she is strong. And she has a lot of reasons to hang on. You know our girl, she'll fight. Lets go."
Ryan and Esposito came running up to them, breathless.
"He got away." Esposito answered coldly.
"I ran after him as soon as I saw where it had come from, but he had too much of a lead." Ryan's voice cracked as he looked at Castle, then Lanie, his eyes full of concern.
"They just took her away in the ambulance. She had no pulse." Lanie answered his unspoken question, her voice low.
"Lets go." Ryan and Esposito both gestured towards the squad car. The four of them headed towards it when Alexis's scream stopped them.
"DAD!" Castle turned to see her push past the two uniformed officers that were trying to hold her back. She hit the front of him with almost enough force to knock him over. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she sobbed against his chest. Only one word would come out.
"They are taking her to the hospital now. I need you to stay with Grams and Jim, okay? You can ride there with them."
"I-is she okay?"
"We don't know."
Martha and Jim weren't far behind the teenager. Castle embraced his mother with one arm and met Jim's eyes over their head.
"Take care of her Rick." He said quietly.
"I will sir."
"They can come with me. We'll see you guys there." He said quietly as he gently tugged at Alexis's arm. She slowly let go of her death grip on her father and watched with tears streaming down her face as he climbed into the squad car and they tore out of the cemetery, sirens screaming.
The squad car burned rubber as they made a hard turn into the emergency room parking lot. The four of them scrambled out of the car and headed towards the emergency room at a dead run.
"We're here for Detective Katherine Beckett." Castle said, reaching the nurses desk first.
"Are you family?"
"Yes." All four of them answered at once. The nurse looked up, her eyes wide at Esposito and Ryan's uniforms.
"She was just taken to surgery. She will be on the 5th floor, there is a waiting room up there."
The ride to the fifth floor was quiet. Lanie leaned against Esposito and finally let her tears come as he wrapped his arms around her. Castle pulled out his phone and text Alexis, letting her know where to meet them. He looked up and for a moment their eyes all met, concern and fear clearly etched on all of their faces. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Castle checked in with the nurses station.
"We're here for Detective Katherine Beckett."
"She just went into surgery. A doctor will be out to speak with you shortly."
Castle nodded and they all took seats in the waiting room. A few minutes later the elevator doors slid open and Jim, Martha and Alexis stepped out. Alexis spotted them first and ran over to Castle. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her as she leaned her head into his shoulder and cried. As selfish as he felt, he took as much comfort from her presence as she did from his. Martha sat in the chair next to Castle and Jim next to her. No one spoke until Castle cleared his throat.
"They took her to surgery…a doctor should be out soon."
Jim nodded slowly.
"Sir…I'm so sorry…I wasn't fast enough…"
"Shhh." The noise came at him from all directions and he looked up to see everyone around him looking angry.
"Castle, no one blames you for this. You couldn't have known, and as soon as you did you threw yourself in front of her. Had you been a fraction of a second earlier, you would have taken the bullet for her." It was Lanie who spoke, and everyone else nodded their agreement.
"Don't even blame yourself bro." Esposito said quietly. "You did your best to protect her."
"Rick…I don't blame you. I saw what you did for her…"
Jim's voice was thick with emotion and even though Castle hardly knew the man, he could see the sincerity in his eyes.
"How was she…when they took her?"
Castle opened his mouth to answer when a doctor came around the corner.
"The family of Katherine Beckett?"
"Here" They all answered.
"Yes. I am her father, this is the rest of her family." He answered without hesitation. The doctor blinked at them before continuing.
"They were able to get her pulse back in the ambulance. The bullet clipped her liver, but missed any other vital organs. It grazed her lung, but not enough to cause significant damage. The liver is what we are worried about the most. It wasn't hit a lot, but she has lost a lot of blood, and we are trying to stop the bleeding now."
"Is she going to make it?" Castle asked the question that was on everyone's mind.
"It is touch and go at the moment. She hasn't lost her pulse again, but if we can't get the bleeding stopped…That is our biggest problem at the moment. But we are cautiously optimistic. She is in good health, that is always a plus."
"Is there anything we can do?" Ryan asked.
"You can donate blood, if any of you are matches. We are getting blood into her now, but she will most likely need more. Other than that, all you can do is wait. I will be back out as soon as I have an update. You can go down to the third floor to donate blood if you want to."
They all nodded and the doctor headed back to the operating room.
"She…had no pulse?" Jim said, his voice shaky. Castle met his eyes and shook his head slowly. Jim let his head drop into his hands as he cried quietly. Martha reached over and put her hand on his arm.
"Why don't we go in pairs to donate blood and see if any of us are a match? That way there is always someone here in case the come out with an update." She suggested quietly. Everyone nodded and Lanie and Esposito went first.
The time passed slowly as they all took turns going down to the third floor to be tested and donate blood. Castle ended up being the only match for Beckett but they all donated anyways. Given the circumstances, it just felt like the right thing to do. As the time passed, other officers came in groups and sat with them for a while for support, but it basically stayed just the family in the waiting room. Castle looked up in shock as Roy's wife walked up to the waiting room. They all stood up and hugged her.
"You didn't have to come." Castle said quietly.
"The hell I didn't. She was shot at Roy's funeral. She was Roy's…she meant a lot to him. Any word?"
"Not recently, no. We are hoping no news is good news. Its been three hours."
"She'll pull though. Roy always talked about how strong she was…" Her voice drifted to silence as her thoughts moved from Kate to her late husband. Castle squeezed her shoulders.
"Go home, be with your family. We will call you."
She nodded slowly and hugged them all goodbye. Moments after the elevator doors slid shut behind her the doctor they had spoken with earlier came around the corner.
"We have managed to stop the bleeding. We lost her pulse once more, but its been steady ever since. We should be finished in about an hour if things continue to go well. She will be in ICU and only…immediate family will be allowed to see her, and even then, only one at a time."
He finished with a pointed look at Jim.
"This is her immediate family. Is she…going to make it?"
"We will know for sure after twenty four hours, but it is looking better than it was a few hours ago. I will come let you know when she's out."
Jim nodded and the doctor left them again. The group breathed a collective sigh of relief. She wasn't in the clear yet, but at least she would be out of surgery soon. Castle turned to Alexis and Martha.
"Why don't you two go back to the loft? Get something to eat or at least sleep for a few hours. I will let you know as soon as she is out and if you want to come back you can."
"But Dad…I want to see her…"
"Sweetie I know, but she won't be awake for quiet a while. You need to sleep."
Alexis huffed at him but followed Martha as they hugged everyone goodbye and headed towards the elevator. They waited in tense silence for another hour and a half until the doctor came back out.
"She is out of surgery, the rest went well. She is in a private room in the ICU on the sixth floor. Visitors can go in one at a time, but you can't stay long. She is stable right now, but still in critical condition. If nothing changes…I would say she is going to make it."
"Thank you." Jim choked out as he shook the doctor's hand. One by one they all shook his hand and thanked him. He left the waiting room and all at once they were hugging each other, tears streaming silently down their faces. All the emotion they had been holding back during the surgery came pouring out. Lanie wrapped her arms tightly around Castle.
"She's going to be okay."
"We lost her Castle…for a minute there…we lost her."
They stood for a moment, holding each other as thoughts of what could have happened flooded their minds. It was Ryan and Esposito that pulled them out of it.
"Hey," Esposito said softly as he put his hand on Lanie's shoulder. "She's going to be okay."
"Yea, I know, its just that…she was gone Javier."
"I know." He pulled her against him in a tight hug. Castle felt Ryan's hand squeeze his shoulder.
"What you did…throwing yourself in front of her like that…"
"She is my partner."
"Yea…I know. And no one could have asked more of you if you were an actual cop. So don't blame yourself."
Castle nodded and they took a minute to compose themselves before heading up to ICU.
Yup, that's right, I have jumped on the "omg lets write a fanfic based on the finale" bandwagon. I didn't want to, but this story has invaded my head and will not let go. That episode was just so amazingly epic I couldn't help but let my mind wander, and here we are. I only hope I have done it some justice, as that was just story telling at its best. So, here it is. As always, any mistakes are my own.