AN: It's been so long since I've posted something here. There are numerous reasons for that. The first being I had no internet for a few months and the second, and more important one, is the severe writer's block I've had since October so I'll apologise if this turns out to be... you know... horrible but I finally managed to write something and that's an achievement for me considering it's been many MANY months since any attempt to do so actually yielded results. Hopefully it will be at least somewhat... not bad. XD
Hope you enjoy. :)
Rory's life begins and ends with Amy...
Amy's does not begin with Rory.
Rory is seven and Amy is six when she moves to Leadworth.
She tells him he looks funny and has a big nose. He tells her he doesn't care when really he does. She sticks out her tongue and asks him if he's as boring as everyone else in Leadworth is. Rory thinks he probably is, but he doesn't think it's really a fair question when Amy's the most exciting thing he's seen so he just shrugs and smiles at her. Pretends to be aloof and mysterious and cool, but he's never been any of those things so it turns out he looks rather awkward.
Somehow, that's all she needs to hear so she sits down beside him and tells him she's his friend and he's hers. He doesn't think he has much choice in the matter but he doesn't really care.
It's two years later and Rory is dressed as a raggedy Doctor - Amy's raggedy Doctor. She's smiling up at him, and his cheeks feel warm, and she's leaning closer... She pecks him on the lips, a quick chaste kiss. His first and hers too; they've told their secrets, know the others off by heart like how she has an imaginary friend called the Doctor, how he has a scar on the inside of his wrist when he crashed into a tree on his bike and didn't tell anyone but her what happened.
Her lips are soft, forceful too, and suddenly they're gone, as is Amy.
She stole his first kiss and in a blink she's off, running down the yard yelling about aliens from outer space. Rory chases after her, as he always does and when he falls and cuts his knee, he doesn't even care because he's still smiling after she kisses it better.
He spends years playing Doctor, spends weekends hanging out of trees and wearing his dad's baggy dress shirt and a crooked tie and eating ice cream. When they're finished and laughing when Amy falls flat on her face after tripping over her wellingtons one too many times, she holds his hand and he can't stop smiling.
He loves these moments, loves Amy more, but then he gets tired of playing pretend, wants to create new moments rather than reliving the past all the time. He tells Amy this and she pulls away, yells at him and refuses to speak to him for weeks.
He comes to her house every day to apologise but she doesn't listen and when he finds out she's dating Jeff, sees them kiss on the swing set and holding hands as they sit staring at the duck pond, Rory goes home and takes every article of clothing he ever worn playing pretend for Amy's sake and shoves them in a box, hides them in the attic. He was going to burn them, but he's too afraid of the flames, too afraid that Amy would know (because she always seems to just know) and would hate him instead of simply ignoring him.
Rory doesn't think he could bare that - her hating him. He thinks there must be an important reason why.
He still goes to her house every Saturday, just in case; comes dressed as Rory, plans to stay as him too, but he does so alone.
Amy's aunt is apologetic when she tells him Amy doesn't want to see him so the next week he climbs up the tree outside her aunt's room, when he knows she's gone, and taps on the window until Amy ventures out, unable to ignore curiosity. He know her better than she knows herself; her curiousity is her downfall.
As soon as she sets eyes on him, her own widen. He thinks out of surprise and he wants to laugh because he never surprises her. It's always the other way around. But then she's screaming at him to get down and he's so glad to hear her voice that his grip falters and suddenly he's falling.
Amy's scream is the last thing he hears before his head collides, mid-fall, and he blacks out.
His arm is hurting when he rouses, and he can feel something heavy on his chest, can feel the weight moving with every breath. He tries to opens his eyes, but the light stings them so he relies on his ears instead and listens. He can hear crying, feel the sobs of Amy against his chest, soaking his shirt. And when he finally manages to open his eyes, he sees red - bright and burning red; he blinks and the light shifts and the blazing red falls into orange waves.
He croaks her name, and she lifts her head, eyes red rimmed. She looks like a crying angel, he thinks; still so achingly beautiful.
"Rory!" She throws her arms around him, buries head face in the crook of her neck. Her breath is warm against his skin. He really wishes she would stop crying though. He's okay, he really is. Although his head is sore, and he's dizzy and actually he's probably not really that okay, but he's content to leave all that be for the moment. He raises a hand and awkwardly rubs circles on the back.
"Amy," he says, and he thinks he's going to tell her it's okay and maybe she should move because she's kind of heavy and his head really does hurt now that he does think about it. He doesn't say any of that at all. Instead he tells her he loves her.
And then she's crying even harder, and hitting his chest because he scared her and she thought he was dead. Somewhere in between she tells him she loves him too, but he doesn't really remember where exactly, only that she said it.
She stays with him afterwards, in the hospital, holds his hand until her aunt comes to take her home and they're forced to, finally, let go.
That is the first time Rory remembers telling Amy he loves her. At least, that is what he thinks he remembers. Maybe he had told her before, he knows he told her again, afterwards, but it wasn't the same. She looked at him, that first time, and there was such happiness in her eyes even amongst the tears. He wanted to recapture that moment with every whispered proclamation against her lips, but the more times he tells her, the more he opens his heart to her, the sadder she looks until eventually Rory learns to stop telling Amy those precious words even if his heart refuses to stop feeling what causes her so much pain.
The years go by slowly and Rory stays by Amy's side, always, but at some point, she begins to drift away. No matter how hard he tries to hold on to her, his grip is still tangible but so easily broken.
They don't break up, but they're not together, not two parts of a whole at least. Amy is his whole. Always has been. Always will be. Yet to Amy, Rory is only a single part of the many shards she holds. He thinks how little he must be to her, wishes he was more but he knows, without fail, that wishing is futile - wishing never got Amy, the Doctor, and wishing never got Rory, Amy.
He doesn't want to admit it but one day he's afraid he'll go to her house and find her gone. He's scared one day her fairytale will turn out to be real and the Doctor will come and steal her away and Rory will be left behind, all by himself. Alone and waiting hopelessly for someone who'll never come back for him, because really, why would she come back for him? He's only Rory Williams from Leadworth and he believes Amy deserves so much more than that. She deserves the world and the stars; she deserves the fairytale Rory can never give her.
Then he thinks it's ridiculous because the Doctor can't be real. Logic tells him he can't be real, but the look in Amy's eyes when she talks about her Doctor makes Rory question everything because to her, the Doctor will be the most real thing she has ever known and if it's a choice between the Doctor and him, Rory knows where Amy's heart lies and it isn't in Rory's hands.
He comes back.
...the Doctor actually comes back. And he's real - really real - not a story or imaginary but actually... real. And he came back.
Rory doesn't understand much after his initial return. It's a blur, a confusing mess, and he doesn't know what to do so he just follows the trail of Amy with the hope she won't rush too far ahead. He doesn't want to fall behind. It feels that for those twenty minutes - because that's all it really is, twenty minutes; maybe even thirty minutes at most – have been the most exciting and yet completely confusing minutes of his life.
Rory decides when it calms down a bit that the Doctor is a blizzard. That's what he thinks later when Amy is crying into his scrubs. No, maybe he's a tornado. Yes, he's a tornado. He's exciting at first, almost scary, and you can get caught up in the beauty of it. Then he'll destroy you as soon as you get close enough to touch. You probably don't even need to be that close for him to do the damage. Amy's proof of that.
She cries when the Doctor leaves, just clings to Rory and cries like she's nine years old again. He has to guide her into the house, helps her sit down at the sofa. He runs a hand through her hair and later when she's calmed ever so slightly, he makes her some tea and they sit there just eating biscuits. Rory is talking and talking and talking about anything and everything he can think to get her mind off the Doctor. It won't really work. Rory knows that, but still he tries because it's all he can do for the girl whose mind is universes away while she holds his hand in her own. He asks her questions every so often, tries to ground her, but Amy mostly remains silent, except for the odd sniffle and a barely susceptible nod of the head. He's not surprised by her lack of response.
He stays with her regardless and promises her that he'll stay with her forever. And for the first time in his life, Amy looks at him with so much love in her eyes at those words that he can feel his heart warm at the mere sight of it alone. He doesn't think she knew before, maybe she didn't want to realise that even thought the Doctor is who Amy will always wait for, Rory is the one who will always stay.
Maybe... Rory thinks as he kisses her forehead, just maybe, he has a chance. That his love will be enough.
Rory's life begins and ends with Amy...
Amy's does not begin with Rory, but he's working on the ending.
AN: I suppose that was a rather pointless oneshot. Thank you for reading regardless. :D