A/N: This is a future!fic and it's extremely different from everything else that I've written.
It's going to be two, maybe three chapters.
You might need tissues?
I own nothing.
It was noon when Blaine got the call.
"Hello?" he answered his cell inquisitively, not recognizing the number.
A pause on the other line, then.
Blaine froze. That voice… it was unmistakable.
But it was also a voice he hadn't heard in five years.
He cleared his throat and said softly, "…Kurt?"
The voice on the other line wavered a bit as Kurt replied, "I – I really need to talk to right now. I know it's been – oh god, it's been forever, but I just – I need – I have to talk to you. In person. Today."
Blaine's eyebrows shot up in surprise and confusion.
"Wait, are you not in LA? I'm still in New York…"
"I still live in LA, but I'm in New York right now… the reason I'm here is what I need to talk to you about."
Blaine paused, quite frankly wondering what the hell Kurt had to say to him that he couldn't have said five years ago, when they broke up after college. Kurt had moved to LA after graduation, and Blaine had been making immediate plans to move to New York. As much as they tried to make their relationship work, it fell apart all too fast. They remained friends for a time, but they both needed closure that they couldn't get if they stayed in contact. They agreed to just part ways completely, so Blaine was understandably confused as to why Kurt suddenly needed to speak to him. But he couldn't bring himself to be angry at Kurt for trying to pop back into Blaine's life.
Even though they hadn't talked in five years.
Even though by contacting Blaine, Kurt had broken their unspoken rule.
Even though Kurt was married to another man.
Because Blaine still loved him.
Blaine took a deep breath before responding.
"I'm not doing anything tonight, if you want to come to my place."
Kurt quickly agreed, and Blaine gave him the address to his apartment in the city.
After double checking that Kurt had written down the correct address, Blaine quickly said goodbye and ended the call.
"Oh god, what the hell have I gotten myself into…" Blaine muttered to the empty room.
He had no idea what Kurt wanted to talk to him about. If it was something to do with the two of them, Blaine didn't understand why this conversation would be happening now. Kurt had a husband. They were probably planning on starting a family. He had a good musical theatre career going on, and although he wasn't yet famous, Blaine knew it was really only a matter of time before Kurt made it big.
So, Blaine reasoned, it had to be about something other than the relationship between the two of them.
But why did Kurt sound so urgent? Why did Kurt fly all the way across the country to see Blaine? The selfish part of Blaine loved that Kurt would do something like that just to talk to him, but the rational part just listed all the other options Kurt could have had. Kurt obviously had Blaine's number still, although Blaine didn't have Kurt's, and there was always email and Skype.
Blaine quickly realized he was going to drive himself mad trying to figure out what Kurt had to tell him, so he just shoved the thought of his mind for the time being and decided to clean up his apartment.
Several hours later, Blaine heard the buzz of his apartment's doorbell come through the speakers. He walked over to the console next to his door and hit the unlock button, waiting for Kurt to make his way to Blaine's fifth floor apartment.
When Blaine heard the knock on the door, he took a deep breath to brace himself for whatever this night was going to entail, and he opened the door.
Kurt Hummel stood in front of him, for the first time in five years. He hadn't changed at all. His hair was still perfectly styled, he was still wearing his customary skinny jeans, and he was wearing a white button up shirt with a pink bowtie and black cardigan.
"Kurt," Blaine breathed."
Kurt threw himself into Blaine's arms, which surprisingly wasn't awkward even though they hadn't seen each other in five years. Blaine held him tightly, sensing that Kurt really just needed to be held.
"Blaine." Kurt whispered back.
They remained in front of the door, holding each other tightly, for several minutes.
Kurt slowly pulled back, and looked Blaine in the eyes for the first time.
"Sorry," he apologized, "it's just – it's been so long since I've seen you…"
Blaine smiled and grabbed Kurt's hand, a natural action that hadn't died out in their years apart.
"C'mon, let's sit, and you can talk."
Blaine led Kurt over to his couch and sat down Indian style, facing him. Kurt mirrored his stance and took a deep breath.
"I guess I'll just cut to the chase, then?"
"…I have cancer, Blaine."
Blaine's heart skipped a beat.
Breathing suddenly became difficult.
"Wh – what?" he replied in disbelief.
Kurt swallowed and blinked back the tears that Blaine could already see forming in his eyes.
"I found out a few months ago. I've been undergoing treatment… but it hasn't been working. And it's getting worse. A lot worse. I came to New York for a consultation with some oncology specialists… they recommended a new experimental course of treatment for me, one that they can do back at the hospital in LA. But they don't – it might not work. And it requires me to stay in the hospital for at least a couple of months."
Blaine didn't even try to fight back the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.
"Kurt – oh my god – I – I'm so sorry, Kurt. When do you start the treatment?"
Blaine stared at Kurt in shock.
It was currently Saturday.
"So starting in two days, you're going to be in the hospital for…"
"I have no idea how long, Blaine. That's – that's why I needed to come here and see - and talk to you."
Blaine just looked at Kurt, still unsure what to say, still unsure what else Kurt wanted to say to him.
"Blaine. Part of the reason I needed to talk to you was obviously to tell you about this. We've known each other since high school and regardless of – of everything that's happened between us – I just needed you to find this out from me rather than from someone else."
Kurt paused, but Blaine could tell he still had a lot more to say.
"Please just listen what I'm about to say, Blaine. I might be totally out of line, and you will probably just laugh in my face and kick me out of your apartment when I'm done but just – just listen. Don't say anything. If I stop talking I don't know if I will ever get the courage to say these things to you again."
Blaine nodded in silent agreement and patiently waited for Kurt to continue.
"After we broke up, I was miserable, Blaine. I hated that I was selfish enough to stay in LA, I hated that you didn't want to live in LA, I hated that I didn't want to live in New York… I just hated everything about the situation. I was a bitch for months," Kurt laughed bitterly, "according to my cast mates, at least. Then I realized I needed to get over it. And slowly, I did. I met Matt. We went out on a few dates… dates turned into a relationship. And for the first time since I had been with you, I felt good about myself. I was enjoying my life. I was happy."
Kurt paused for a moment, and then continued.
"After two years, Matt asked me to marry him. I said "yes" immediately. Like I said, I was happy. I could – I wasn't constantly thinking about you. I still thought about you sometimes, sure, but Matt helped me forget. He was good to me… he still is, really…" Kurt smiled a sad smile as his thought trailed off, but then he quickly picked back up with his story.
"But even though I was happy, and even though I was married, I still couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if it was you. If I was coming home to you every day. If I was kissing you every day. If I was talking about adopting kids with you every day. And I knew I shouldn't be having these thoughts while I was married to Matt but – I couldn't help it. And it's not like I didn't love Matt, because I did. I still do. But – I – I couldn't just forget everything we had, Blaine. I still can't."
Tears were beginning to fully form in Kurt's eyes, and tears had been silently streaming down Blaine's face ever since Kurt had begun his story.
"And then fast forward a few years. I find out I have cancer. None of the treatments work. My doctors start telling me my time is running out. I have to put my career on hold to stay in the hospital. I start having more time to think. And the thing I think about the most? Not Matt. Not my career. Not the fact that we were about to adopt."
Kurt took a deep breath and said, "It was you."
Blaine just stared at the man sitting across from him on the couch.
"Kurt, I - "
"No, Blaine, stop. Let me just get this out. I thought about you all the time. I thought about how the only reason we broke up was because of distance. How we could have made it work if I had just tried harder. How I still fucking love you even though I'm married to another man. And then, coincidentally, the specialist they decided to send me to – he's in New York. You're in New York. I knew I had to come here and talk to you."
"I'm going to die, Blaine. There's only about a one percent chance that this treatment is going to work. And there's nothing I can do about it. But I don't want to leave this world without making sure that you fully understand that I don't feel any less for you than I did that day you first kissed me at Dalton and I felt like the luckiest guy in the entire world. Life was a bitch and pulled us apart, but it didn't change my feelings about you. Repressed them, maybe, but never destroyed them."
Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and squeezed it tightly, but he didn't say anything.
Tears were freely flowing down the faces of both men.
"I had to see you one last time, Blaine. And I know – I know this is so, so, selfish of me. And I know it's going to make it that much harder on you when I'm gone, but," Kurt laughed a little through his tears, "I'm the one dying here, so I think I'm allowed to be a little selfish right now."
Kurt grabbed Blaine's other hand and Blaine could read in his eyes that it was okay for him to talk now.
"Kurt. You have to know I've never stopped loving you. I've told myself to get over it, told myself you were married, told myself to find someone new and move on with my life – but I can't. I'm okay with being single… because for me, it's either being single, or being with someone that isn't you."
"But honestly Kurt, I – I don't know what you want from me right now. You're married, you have to go back to LA tomorrow for your treatment, and I'm – I'm glad you're here, don't get me wrong, it's been absolute hell not seeing your face for five years but - "
Kurt cut Blaine off. "I know. I know this is shitty timing. I know it's weird. But it's just – I guess knowing that I'm dying really puts my life in perspective. I thought I would have my whole life to figure out things with you, and maybe some part of me honestly thought that with time I would forget about you, but… I don't have my whole life anymore. I only have – well, honestly, I might only have tonight - "
Before Blaine even realized what he was doing, he was suddenly closing the space between him and Kurt and pressing his lips against Kurt's. Kurt didn't respond for a moment, his brain also not registering what Blaine had just done. But when his brain finally caught up with his body, Kurt pressed his own lips back hard against Blaine's, and within seconds he felt Blaine's tongue pressing lightly against his lips. Kurt quickly opened his mouth to allow Blaine entrance, and Kurt felt himself being pushed back gently onto the couch. He allowed Blaine to guide him onto his back, and felt Blaine adjust his legs so that he was straddling Kurt's hips.
Blaine was kissing Kurt, and Kurt was kissing Blaine, with all the passion expected from two former lovers who had been separated for five long years. In that moment, it didn't matter that Kurt had a husband, or that all of their attempts of getting over each other for the past five years were quickly being shot to hell, because neither of them had felt this good, this right, since the last time that they had been together.
Kurt's hands grabbed Blaine's hair, tugging desperately at the curls that he had been so in love with when they had dated throughout high school and college. Blaine moved his mouth away from Kurt's; Kurt let out a noise of protest, but it quickly turned into a moan of pleasure when Blaine's mouth starting sucking on that one spot on Kurt's neck that always drove him crazy.
"Oh my god, Blaine…"
Kurt's hips involuntarily thrust up into Blaine's, searching for some sort of friction.
Blaine suddenly felt Kurt's hardness against his own, and he quickly pulled away, starting to sit up.
"Kurt – god – we shouldn't - "
Kurt grabbed Blaine's waist and pulled him back down, pressing their foreheads together.
"Blaine. I don't really give a damn about what I should and should be doing right now. All I know is that this feels really fucking good and I don't really want to stop."
Blaine looked desperately into Kurt's eyes.
"…what about Matt?"
Kurt sighed and whispered desperately against Blaine's lips.
Blaine could see the wetness in Kurt's eyes.
"Blaine. Please. Forget about him. For me. It's up to me to deal with that later. I just - "
Tears began to fall from Kurt's eyes again, but he continued.
"I just really, really need this right now."
Kurt's eyes were so wide with need, and his voice so desperate, that Blaine couldn't resist. He had never been able to resist Kurt. Five years apart didn't do anything.
Blaine crashed his lips back into Kurt's, and he felt Kurt grab his ass and pull Blaine's hips down to grind against his own. He kissed Blaine deeply and passionately, trying to somehow convey five years' worth of pent up emotion into one action.
All too soon, Kurt felt Blaine pull away again.
Kurt literally growled in frustration.
"Damn it Blaine, what do I need to say to you to get the point across that I really fucking need you right now? Preferably inside of me, if I'm going to be blunt here?"
Blaine just smiled and laughed quietly.
"I was just going to suggest we move this to my bedroom…" he said sheepishly.
Kurt was off the couch and dragging Blaine towards the bedroom within seconds. He lay down on Blaine's bed and pulled Blaine on top of him, mimicking the position they had been in on the couch.
"Before you ask, yes I am sure about this. I need this. I need you. If you're not okay with it, that's fine... I get it. This is sudden and selfish of me and I know I shouldn't be here, but like I said before, I don't care. But if you aren't comfortable with it - "
Blaine put a finger to Kurt's mouth to quiet him.
"God, Kurt, I'm more than okay with this. You have to know that."
Kurt grabbed Blaine's hair again and pulled his face to his.
"Then kiss me." Kurt whispered.
"Oh, I'm going to do so much more than that, Kurt Hummel."