A/N: As always this update took incredibly long. The past months have been quite challenging. My grandfather had gotten very sick and passed away Oct 30th, 2012. I was very close to him so seeing him go had a huge impact on my life. I also had some major health concerns of my own and was hospitalized February 12, 2013. I will not give up on this story though. Now that I am back I will keep writing as long as one person requests it. Now that that has been said this is the part where I get all insecure and beg that you guys leave a review so I know how I did… ENJOY!
Chapter 11: I Could Really Use a Drink Right Now
I reached forward for a tape dated a little less than two weeks ago. With the tape in hand I got up and trudged to the television with the VCR. As the night wore on my attention span became increasingly shorter; proof of it was the dozens of paper snowflakes scattered around the room, I started them around eleven. Around midnight I started slapping and pulling on my cheeks to stay awake. I pressed the rewind button on the VCR and fell back on the floor exhausted.
It took nearly all my will and determination to keep my eyes open. I couldn't go to sleep just yet. I scanned the room for something to distract me while I waited for the tape to rewind. My eyes settled on a corner of the ceiling; where a spider had made itself a home, spinning its web. It reminded me of a quote I had heard as a child, "Oh what a tangled web we weave if all we…" I tried to recite the quote but I found myself forgetting the final words. "Deceive…" there was a ringing in my ears, "Something to deceive," the harder I tried to recall the words, the louder the ringer became. None the less, I tapped my head still searching for the fleeting words.
"When first we practice to deceive," I jumped at the sound of Light's voice from above. I launched upwards, giving myself a head rush. I held my head in my hands; my hair fell over my face, covering it like a veil. I waited for everything to slow down, for my eyes to focus and for the world to stop spinning. I looked up, through the veil my hair had created, at Light- I had forgotten he was here.
He stood next to L, their wrists still chained together. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and pushed my hair back. I reached for my coffee cup and took a sip, grimacing as the cold drink slid down my throat. "Careful or you may just scare me to death," I warned jokingly, setting my cup back down on the coffee table. On my hands and knees I stretched like I'd seen Slippers do many times and slid onto my stomach. I kicked my feet back and forth and rested my head in the palms of my hands as I looked up at the two expectantly.
"You should sleep," Ryuzaki said offhandedly. I took note of the bags underneath his eyes. They were incredibly worse than mine, but if I kept working like this it wouldn't be long till I caught up with him.
"I'm almost done, just a couple more files and this tape and I'll finally be all caught up," That is… until Kira kills another dozen or so people. The tape had finally rewound its way to the beginning; a blue screen appeared on the TV. I fumbled for the remote under the coffee table and searched for the play button.
Ryuzaki and Light went to work on their computers. The sound of their fingers tapping on keys seemed almost rhythmic to my sleep deprived mind. The two shared an occasional grunt with each other every so often. I could hear L cracking his toe knuckles. I paused the tape five minutes into it. Every little thing was distracting me. I looked over at the two of them sitting on the couch and perfectly at ease with the fact that it was currently- I looked down at my watch- one in the morning.
I slid from my sitting position onto my side and placed my arm over my eyes. My will was slowly but surely draining. Maybe I should call it a night… No I can't.
I sat up and flinched. Right in front of me was L, situated on the floor in his odd way. "Yes?" I asked curiously, why was he invading my space? But he didn't respond with any words, he only leaned forward and brought his face to the side of mine. His hand began playing with my sleeve restlessly, distracting me momentarily from a light pressure against my cheek. "Huh?" I leaned away befuddled. As I began to turn my head in embarrassment I noticed those dark eyes. They seemed so uncertain, holding a question in their depths.
When I closed my eyes next I became very aware of the lips that pressed firmly against mine. The restless hand left my sleeve and tentatively found a place on my shoulder. We briefly parted, each taking a moment to gaze into the other's eyes. I could feel his warm breath on my face…
Some sort of bravery- or lust- must have struck us both simultaneously because soon our bodies were pressed firmly against each other. His tentative hand slowly crept up from my shoulder to my neck, eventually weaving his fingers through my hair. I could feel warmth radiating from his body, both relaxing and exciting me.
I straddled his lap and reached under his shirt, caressing his stomach up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around my body and laid me down on the floor; my skin burned with excitement. My chest heaved from lust. He pressed his body against mine, my hands moved to his back feeling each and every inch of him. Soon he became unrelenting in our kiss and his hand began to mimic mine, taking hold of my hip. I tried to break away from the kiss, and maintain the passion of the moment, but I was unable to. I was running out of air… I just needed to take a breath was all. I began to panic when I just couldn't get enough air-
I jolted awake unable breathe. I thrust myself upwards, hearing a hiss from my lovely cat. Air met my burning lungs. That bastard just tried to kill me… I switched on the light on my nightstand and glared at Slippers, "You've been plotting this since we moved here haven't you?" He just looked away and began licking his paw.
That's right, Sir Slippers turned out to be a diva at heart just like his human. He would not sleep in the room next door, not that he ever slept in his room in the past, but now he was taking it out on me. The night before it had been a knocked over lamp that hit me in the head and now he was trying to suffocate me with his fat rolls.
I looked over at the alarm clock and saw it was four in the morning. I opened the connecting doors to Slippers's and my room allowing him to roam freely while I was gone upstairs for the day. I quickly checked his food before and then I was out the door, heading to the elevator. Now that I've moved in I didn't even bother with getting dressed this early, cupcake pajama bottoms were completely acceptable when your 'boss' loves sweets… of course they do sometimes induce drooling bouts.
Speaking of which, I found myself wiping away a bit of my own drool as I recounted last night's dream. I couldn't tell you why I seemed to be attracted to the guy… he was strange, had 24/7 bed head despite never sleeping, had outrageously big bags, was a bit of a sociopath, especially egotistical, had subjected me to his fetish for bondage, etc. But I guess something in all of that and more had caught my attention.
My thinking didn't last very long… I was half asleep by the time I got off the elevator and three-fourths asleep by the time I entered the main room. All of the late nights and early wake-up calls were starting to get to me. I was, however, awake enough to make conversation with the rascal, "You're early," he commented, not even turning away from his laptop.
I trudged to the couch and plopped down next to L. The clock on his computer read 4:10, "Early?" honestly I was beginning to think I was so tired I couldn't even read a digital clock.
A quiet groan came from L's left; I looked over him to see it was a sleeping Light. I sat down on L's right. "I suppose I never did tell you; you'll be starting work at the same time as everyone else now,"
"Wait, so why have I been coming in so much earlier than them before?" I wasn't even paying too much attention to the conversation. At this point I was speaking for the sake of speaking.
"I was hoping you would be more willing to move in if you were waking up at unreasonable hours. The plan was to hold out until your will broke." His words were frank. He wanted to break my will? How sweet… "Your morning starts at seven… have a pleasant two hours and forty-seven minutes of rest."
The cognitive part of my brain was gone. I had checked out the moment I heard something involving sleep. The one-sixth part of me that was still awake was barely aware that last night I had fallen asleep in a similar situation and woken up in my bed (and had a very nice dream). As I fell asleep once more, allowing dreams to wash over me I could barely make out words that sounded awfully similar to "Sweet dreams, Ava"
I woke up. Yup, nothing special this time, just a perfectly normal morning: the sun was up, my hair was wrapped around my neck in a make-shift noose, a puddle of drool on the couch from sleeping with an open mouth, and lastly no people… or murder intentioned cats.
I rose from the couch and readjusted my disheveled clothes. Matsuda and Yagami voices echoed through the hallway. They entered as I was relieving myself of a terribly uncomfortable wedgy, "Morning," I said sheepishly, with a nearly full night's sleep I couldn't bring myself to care.
I sat down next to Matsuda who was studying a monitor. "So, how's it going?" I pondered as I spun around in the office chair childishly.
"It's alright," a typical answer.
"So your apartment is filled with old pizza boxes and empty beer and soda cans, you haven't made your bed in six weeks because your dead beat by the time you get home, and your pretty sure there's a mouse living somewhere in your home, but the stupid mouse trap won't catch it?"
"How'd you know?"
I stopped spinning long enough to make eye contact with Matsuda, "I was right?" I chuckled.
"Hey, don't poke fun. At least I don't wait on hand and knee for an evil cat," Matsuda jabbed back, "Besides… there's no mouse,"
"Sure," I spun around in the chair in a full circle.
"What happened to your head?" I turned around to see who Yagami was talking to.
"I had a fight with the wife," It was Aziwa who answered the question. Surely enough, by his hairline was a bandage. But that wasn't where my focus had rested. What I noticed the most was that he entered the room in his boxers, his pants draped neatly over his left arm.
"You know, Aziwa," I looked away feeling heat from a blush rising to my cheeks. "Usually, when people have pants, they wear them."
"Yeah, well that stupid metal detector downstairs was being a pain," he excused, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish smile. He was probably slightly embarrassed that a woman, other than his wife, had seen him in his undergarments. Of course, Matsuda and Yagami didn't seem at all bothered by this situation. Men…
"And it never occurred to you to put them on before coming upstairs?" I found myself standing up to leave rather than allowing this awkward conversation to continue, "I think I'll go sit with them in the other room," I gestured to the monitor featuring Light, Misa, and Ryuzaki. It was more than less likely one of Misa's dates with Light.
L and Light were currently in the middle of a passive aggressive argument. I only paid enough attention to the two to make sure they didn't tear each other's throats out. I found that this was a great time to just sit back, relax, and eat cake (I was getting used to L's fatty diet). If this was all I had to do in the morning I would definitely support Misa's future dates whole heartedly.
I looked at Misa and the boys conversing and felt myself missing the company of females. I eyed Misa carefully, wondering if I would ever stoop so low as to seek her companionship… I was beginning to think yes. It was oddly depressing to only have males to speak with. Being involved in this type of investigation was problematic for my old social ways. No friends, no outings, and no drinking… though I guess I told myself that I wasn't going to drink anymore.
I ignored the warning signs of an escalating fight, no longer interested in them or my cake. I was too invested in my thoughts to care about either, so I just set my plate down on the coffee table. Ryuzaki slammed down onto the coffee table followed by Light just as I moved my hand back. I looked up from my lap and gazed at the two questioningly, my eyes widened in surprise. Thankfully the table wasn't made out of glass and the sturdy creation only creaked from their combined weight.
When the two righted themselves I could see cake smeared all along L's backside. I was about to scold them for rough housing, but Misa was already screaming her head off about the violence. So I sat down and allowed her the duty of dealing with the stubborn boys. Propping my legs on the table, I watched L return the favor to Light by smashing his foot down onto his cheek. Once again the two of them were sent to the ground in a heap. I wondered if this was how he beat the shit out of the men who roughed me up the night we met, had he only smacked them around with his feet?
As the fighting escalated, Misa backed off and hid behind the couch. Tears began to form in her eyes. Her fists were clenched in what I thought must be frustration and worry.
"Okay, that's enough!" I called out as they returned to their stances once more. Misa's attempt at getting them to settle down hadn't worked and being that I had no intention of giving either a chance to cause serious harm to the other, I stepped in. Despite my intervention they kept total eye contact… it was like being in the presence of a ticking time bomb, you can yell at it all you want to stop but in the end it's still going to blow. I quickly tried to ease the tension, in hopes of avoiding a serious fight, "We are all fighting for the same cause, to bring down Kira, not each other,"
Light and Ryuzaki seemed to be calming down, their postures relaxing. I sighed, relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with two egotistical bastards fighting with each other. "Now if you need me, I'll be-" Something to quiet for me to hear was muttered and the tension snapped. Everything I had said went in one ear and out the other. Legs and arms were being thrown left and right, and soon the two were back on the ground wrestling each other, "Listen! Maybe you two need a break from each other! You've been attached by the wrists 24/7 for how long now?" I eased my way closer cautiously. I didn't want to be directly involved in this fight.
I bent over and put my hands on both of their shoulders. I tried to pull them apart, but Light turned around a back handed me. I fell on my ass and stared straight at Light in shock. The evil, calculating look that I had seen in his eyes once before was back. My heart skipped one beat… then two. Those were the eyes of a killer and those eyes were trained on L. I don't think he even realized that he had hit me… he was just possessed with the need to fight with L.
"That is it!" I cried out from the top of my lungs. I don't know what brought on the change in Light, but I couldn't wait for something to happen. "Stop it now!" I had finally caught their attention. They had frozen in place; L was beneath Light, one hand holding Light's wrist away from his face, the other making to punch Light.
I jumped to my feet, searching for something to say. "What good are you?" I spat at the two of them, despite most my anger being directed at Light. With the heat of the fight cooling down the cruelness left Light's eyes. "What good are either of you?" When I saw Light's eyes I had been truly frightened… but now they were back to normal as if nothing had happened. And the boys stared at me, waiting for me to say something more. But I didn't know what to stay… I was scared. So I left… well at least I started to.
"I read an article about this… I believe it's called PMS." It was a whisper, but I heard it.
My eyes zeroed in on Ryuzaki, it was just the kind of thing he would say. I was furious, "I am not PMSing!" I screamed at him, my face reddening in anger. After having just been worried about his safety he flung that kind of insult at me, "Do you think you two are the only ones upset?" I lowered my voice, but it still was not a pleasant tone. "Poor Ryuzaki, the greatest detective the world has ever known might have been wrong about the identity of Kira is now absolutely depressed. And let us not forget Light, who has so generously put aside his time to work on the investigation, now disappointed in the great almighty L because he realized L is only human." I pointed out their selfish thoughts.
I took a calming breath and tried to keep my voice from getting too harsh, "I don't think I've ever met two more selfish people in my life. Did either of you even realize that a third party was injured in your fight?" I pointed out my right cheek which was surely red and swelling already. "Did the two of you ever care to think about Aziwa? He's walking on egg shells trying to keep his relationship with his wife and child together. Or what about Matsuda, he tries really hard, but all anyone does is walk over him and treat him like he's stupid. And somehow both of them show up to work each day with a smile on their face while you two mope around," I took a deep breath, "And now I'm the one PMSing because you expect me to sit here and be like her," I gestured to Misa who was curled up behind the couch with tears in her eyes and mascara running down her cheeks, "And Watch you two hurt each other and those around you." I whipped around and yanked the door open aggressively. I paused for a moment to put an end to my overly dramatic monologue, "Well I won't," I walked out and slammed the door behind me.
The remainder of the hour was spent locked in my room, taking my anger out on L's wallet. I sat in bed and ordered every pay per view and movie I could find. Just to rub it in his face in the most childish way I could, I only watched one. I estimated tonight's spending cost him somewhere around 50,000 yen ($558.49). So it wouldn't burn a hole in this guy's seemingly endless wallet, but at least it would get the point across.
It was probably around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I hadn't really left my room much, still angry at L and Light. It turned out that my cheek didn't swell but there was a light bruise left, small and easy enough to conceal.
I crept into the main room of the building, where I knew L would surely be. When I entered I saw him gazing at a blank computer screen. Next to him Light was passed out; either taking a cat nap or having been drugged by L… I wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter.
"Do you feel like you failed, L?" I asked, leaning on the door frame. He jumped slightly, taken off guard. I wondered if he had been sleeping as well. I began to wonder when L ever did sleep… he always worked so tirelessly.
When his dark eyes met mine I pushed myself off the door frame and walked over to him. They were different… sullen, no, they were drained. "Have you ever heard the saying, 'I may have lost the battle, but I will win the war.'?" Ryuzaki remained silent. I closed his lap top and pushed it out of the way, to make room for me to sit on his desk. "You should try applying it to yourself right now… after all, you are the world's top three detectives. Are you just going to let a little bump in the road bring you down?"
Still, he was silent.
"Is it the cable bill that's bumming you out?" there was a hint of a smile at that. He knew what I had done. I rented everything, from Disney to Porn. "There we go… there's that perverted genius of a freak I've been looking for," my insulting personality probably came off too strong because L reverted to silence and just stared at me blankly. I didn't know how to do this whole comforting thing. I thought of wrapping an arm around his shoulder and rubbing his back like one would do with a child… I shuddered at the idea; it would be too awkward.
"Come on," I stood up. Again, he just stared. "Come on, get up," he held up his chained wrist in response this time. "Is he drugged or is it natural?" I nodded at Light who seemed to be passed out in the most uncomfortable of positions. He slept on his side with his feet thrown up on the desk and his arm wrapped around his head so the chain would reach.
"I may have had Watari slip something into his lunch," He said smugly. If this was for getting back at Light for this afternoon, I wondered what was awaiting me for the cable bill… I threw the thought from my mind and refocused on cheering up L.
"Well then," I slipped a key out of my pocket and unlocked L's cuff and reattached it to a desk leg. "If you can steal my keys and make copies, so can I. However, considering you never sleep I just asked Watari for the spare," There was a look of contempt in his eyes as he begrudgingly got up.
"Now come on, you have no more excuses," I grabbed his hand and dragged him out onto the balcony. I stepped forward to the railing and the wind quickly took hold of my hair, sending it about in every direction, mostly in my face. I tried to tame it while I beckoned for L to join me by the railing, "Come on," I shivered through my words. I wouldn't blame him if he just turned around and went back inside… it was cold.
He didn't though; he slowly made his way to the railing, and stared at me. Waiting for whatever it was I had to show him. I stepped behind him and turned him around to face the world outside of his office, "Now look; what do you see?" I returned to my place next to him. I saw past the other sky scrapers was a gleaming sun just hours away from setting. It was quiet, but the noise of cars blocks away still echoed to us. Really there wasn't much to look or listen too… but I thought that Ryuzaki might need a little fresh air.
L just looked down at me, his dark eyes questioning the purpose of this exercise. Being that there was no real purpose I let it go, "You never answered my question Ryuzaki… do you feel as if you failed?" I knew L would never admit to such feelings, his pride would never allow it. As I expected there was only silence.
I turned my head to the side, looking out at the city that was so close, yet so far away. I could feel Ryuzaki's eyes still on me. He grabbed my chin and brought his face closer, "What the-" This reminded me all too much of my dream from last night. My heart began to pick up its pace.
"Is this from this morning?" he asked, but didn't wait for a response. He released my chin, "It's cold, I'm going to go back inside if that is all you had to say," I frowned, but L had already turned away and walked toward the building. I wish he would have given me more of a chance to cheer him up… I wonder if the bruise upset him more… He paused before entering the building, his hand on the wall he turned his head and left me with one word, "Yes,"
My head dropped and I stared down at my feet. I already knew the answer to my question, but never would I have thought he'd willingly answer it. I leaned on the railing, refusing to go back inside; I didn't want to follow Ryuzaki back in. I rubbed my cheek, where he had just previously inspected it… I hadn't thought anything I said before storming out on Light and Misa's date had been retained. I didn't think he would notice the bruise, but then again he is a detective… I guess the more reasonable thought would be; I didn't think he would care. But he did…
I could feel the cool air through my thin shirt and without a jacket or sweater of any kind I was sure to catch a cold. Regardless, even if I had gone inside I would still be cold from the stinging chill of that singular word.
Sighing, I shook my head and went back inside and to my room. I laid down in bed and stared at the ceiling. I noticed a camera moving, pointing itself directly at me. In response I gave it the middle finger. "Oh great! All we need now are some bondages and a blind fold."
I went back to staring at the ceiling and recalled the events that took place today, Light is a killer, he's Kira… whether its subdued right now… it makes no difference, that part of him is still there. I saw it. God, I could really use a drink right now…
A/N: You guys, it's confession time. I try to write things based on experience (not that what has happened in this story has happened to me, which is completely untrue) when I write I try to describe based on what I know and what I've learned. AND BY GOLLY THIS ROMANCE THING! Yes, that's right I'm sixteen and I haven't even so much as touched hands with a male other than a relative. And I just want you all to know that I'm freaking out over this. I want this to work, but I have no ideas on how this works. Please pardon my lack of experience, if only I was blessed with seductive abilities… but alas the world is a cruel cruel place.
Anyways I hope you all liked the chapter leave your comments, thoughts, opinions, anything really. It really does help no matter what it is you're saying (unless you're being a troll). And come on you guys! It's so easy to leave reviews now with the new update! Pretty please with some tomato juice on top?
I hope it wasn't a crappy update! I'm crossing my fingers right now.
On another note… I wrote a new summary and I was wondering what you guys thought. I don't really like the title of the story either, but I don't want to change it out of fear that you guys won't be able to find it. Well here is the new summary I'll probably change it like a week after I've posted the chapter.
NEW SUMMARY: "I don't know about you, but I won't sit around and wait to die," It was pathetic; his eyes were so dull, lacking the life they used to have. He looked tired, L never looked tired. Ava never had any interest in the Kira investigation; now it seems like she can't keep herself out of it. It just came down to one thing, she wouldn't sit back and watch someone die L/OC LxOC