The song used within this fic is "If You're Into It" by Flight of the Concords.
If You're Into It
Kurt walked into his dorm room after a long day of classes, wanting nothing more than to lie down on his bed and belt out the lyrics to Wicked – it always helped relax him after a stressful day.
Unfortunately, Kurt's roommate Nick sat at his desk, already focused on his homework. "Oh! Kurt!" he said, looking up from his homework as Kurt tossed his book bag next to his desk. "I've been waiting for you!"
Kurt looked confused and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"No," Nick shook his head, a mischievous look in his eye. "Nothing's wrong, I just…I have something to show you!"
"I really wanted to get a head start on my homework," Kurt sighed. "Mrs. Hannigan assigned a ten page report on Hamlet."
"Trust me, it won't take very long," Nick insisted, wandering over to Kurt.
He grabbed Kurt's blazer by the sleeve and tugged gently, coaxing him out of the room and down the hall. They wandered all the way down to the Warbler's rehearsal room before Kurt gave in and asked, "What's going on?"
"I have a surprise for you," a familiar voice spoke from behind him.
Kurt spun around to see Blaine standing around, his arms crossed and a proud smile on his face. "Sit down," Nick insisted, pointing to the couch behind Kurt.
He did as he was told and Blaine sat next to him. Nervously, Blaine reached over and took one of Kurt's hands in his own. He said something adorable and romantic, but Kurt was more concerned with the fact that Nick was still in the room, perched on the arm of the couch, watching intently. Blaine finished his cheesy spiel about how adorable and amazing Kurt is before nodding at Nick and taking a deep breath.
Nick pressed a button on the tape player and music began. As soon as Blaine opened his mouth to sing, Kurt was instantly embarrassed. There was no way in hell Kurt's boyfriend was singing a song to him in front of his roommate!
Blaine smiled as he began singing,
"If you want me to,
I could hang 'round with you,
If I only knew
that's what you're into."
Kurt spun around on the couch, shocked, when Nick's voice joined in to sing to him. His low bass-level voice resounded through the room, surrounding Kurt as he felt his face flushing bright red.
"You and him, him and you,
If that's what you're into.
Him hanging 'round, around you,
You're hanging 'round
Yeah you're there too."
Blaine looked over at Kurt seriously and wove his fingers with Kurt's. He stared over at Kurt adoringly before singing the next verse, that proud smile still plastered on his face.
"And if you want me to,
I will take off all my clothes for you,
I will take off all my clothes for you,
if that's what you're into."
Kurt's mouth formed an embarrassed 'oh' and he instantly wished the song would just stop. He wasn't ready to get naked with Blaine yet, especially when Nick was in the room and well aware of what could happen! Kurt's face was burning with embarrassment as Nick leaned over and smiled at Kurt over his shoulder, singing along.
"How 'bout him in the nude?
If that's what you're into.
In the nude in front of you,
Is that what you'd wanna do?"
It definitely wasn't what Kurt wanted to do, at least not yet. He looked down at his hands, mortified. Kurt's palms were sweaty and he was insanely embarrassed, not only for himself, but for Blaine and Nick. Singing this song had to be awkward to rehearse, not to mention Kurt couldn't imagine helping his roommate serenade his love interest. It was all so strange and horrifying and left Kurt rather flustered.
Kurt's embarrassment only grew as they continued singing to him. Blaine reached out and pressed Kurt's chin up, meeting his eyes as he continued singing,
"If it's cool with you,
I'll let you get naked too.
It could be a dream come true,
Provided that's what you are into."
It certainly was not an ambition to get naked in front of Blaine. Maybe in the future, but after dating for a couple of weeks? No way. Kurt was not some floozy, as good as Blaine's intentions probably are. Kurt tried not to wince and look too embarrassed as Nick continued singing.
"Is that what you're into?
Him and you in the nude,
That's what he's prepared to do,
Is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into?"
Kurt fought the urge to just shake his head and say no and politely ask them to stop, but he didn't have the heart. Blaine looked so earnest and his smile was rather adorable. The song was extremely inappropriate, at least in the context of having been dating for three weeks. He also couldn't fathom why Nick would even consider helping Blaine out with this.
Blaine winked at Kurt and kept singing, his hands holding Kurt's gently.
"And then maybe later,
We'll get hot by the refrigerator.
In the kitchen next to the pantry,
You think that might be what you fancy?"
Okay, so that verse wasn't as bad, but still – Kurt would never have sex or do anything even remotely related to sex in a kitchen. Kitchens were for food and eating and being sanitary, not getting it on with your boyfriend – of three weeks! Kurt kept reminding himself of this fact and how Blaine had been quite understanding of the "let's go slow" concept up until now.
Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes as Nick chimed in again.
"In the buff being rude,
Doing stuff with the food.
Getting nude with his food,
We heard that's what you are into."
Now Kurt was a little frustrated. Who on earth was spreading rumors that he liked getting sexual with food? Kurt wasn't even comfortable getting sexual with his own hand. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, repeating to himself in his brain that the song was going to be over soon – it had to be, because there wasn't much else one could sing about in a song about sex.
But oh, how he was wrong. When Blaine sang the next verse, Kurt's face turned red as a tomato.
"And then on our next date,
Well you could bring your roommate.
I don't know what Nick is keen to,
But if you want we could double team you."
No, Kurt definitely wasn't going to share intimate time with his roommate of all people. He and Nick were friends – and Kurt was pretty sure Nick and Jeff had some strange thing going on between them as well that they needed to figure out. The sexual tension was almost as unbearable as his and Blaine's had been. Or as unbearable as it still was, apparently – if Blaine's song choice was anything to go by at least.
Nick leaned down and with a smirk began singing.
"How 'bout you and two dudes?
Him you and me, in the nude.
Being lewd with two dudes and food,
Because I'm into it too!"
Kurt's jaw dropped at Nick's verse and he sat there, incredulously, as Blaine finished up the song.
"All the things I'd do,
Things I'd do for you,
If I only knew
That's what you're into."
Blaine looked at Kurt expectantly, the proud smile on his face finally faltering. Kurt's lack of words seemed to be unnerving him, and they should be, because Kurt was absolutely mortified. "Thanks Nick," Blaine said breathily. "I think I'll take it from here."
Beaming, Nick stood and said, "Okay. See you later, Kurt!"
He left the room without a glance back. Blaine looked at Kurt nervously, his smile shaking as he asked, "What did you think?"
"Well…" Kurt trailed off. "I appreciate the sentiment." He spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. Kurt didn't want to upset Blaine, even though the whole experience had been pretty much horrifying. "But I'm still not really ready…"
"Oh," Blaine said. He sounded shocked and a little hurt, but really, he shouldn't be. He knew going into this relationship that Kurt wanted to go slow. "I um…well, that's embarrassing."
"I like that you sang to me, though," Kurt insisted quickly, squeezing Blaine's hands in his. "Really, I loved it. Just…promise me something next time?"
Eagerly, Blaine's eyes met Kurt and he nodded. With a soft smile, Kurt said, "Next time, don't have my roommate sing with you. I like it when you sing along, and it makes things less awkward for me and Nick."
"I promise," Blaine said seriously.
Kurt could almost see the gears turning in Blaine's head as he chose the next song he'd sing to Kurt. "I have to go work on my essay for English," Kurt frowned, standing and walking towards the door. "But just so you know, I like romantic songs."
He winked at Blaine before walking out of the room, leaving the dark haired boy to his thoughts.