Disclaimer: I own Twilight!
Stephenie Meyer: Katie!
Me: Yes? *smiles sweetly*
Stephenie: Say it!
Me: Say what?
Stephenie: Say you do NOT own Twilight! It is MY creation!
Me: Okay! You do not own Twilight! It is MY creation!
Stephenie: That's it! Do you want to be sued? Well? DO YOU?
Me: sorry…I do not own Twilight. :^(
Stephenie: There! Was that so hard, Katie?
Stephenie: Well DEAL WITH IT!
Just to let all the Glee fans know, I am continuing my Quinn/Puck story (don't ask why I am posting this in a Twilight story). This is just to help my writer's block. Enjoy!
1. You may NOT threaten Alice's credit cards, clothes, money, shoes, bags, car, or ANYTHING she happens to possess. For EVERYONE'S mental, physical, and general health. PLEASE.
2. You are NOT allowed to get physical with Rosalie outside of your bedroom. IT IS DISGUSTING. Edward and Alice also promise that if they walk in on you again, you will wish you were never changed and died after getting mauled by the bear.
3. You may NOT comment on how Alice and Jasper's sex life has been more active lately. Just don't.
4. You are FORBIDDEN from being anywhere NEAR Edward's piano. Last time you scratched it, Edward gave everybody a lecture on how long it takes to 'break in' a piano and how 'no two pianos are the same'. Therefore, instead of him boring us all to death, LEAVE THE PIANO ALONE.
5. You may NOT get drunk with Jasper and Alice. Unless you want Carlisle to explain that alcohol can make us crazy and how it can affect us, DON'T.
6. You are NOT to throw giant snowballs at Alice. She doesn't like the fact that she can fit inside, or the fact that she get soaked. As hilarious as it seems when her head pops out on top, DON'T.
7. You are FORBIDDEN from being within five miles of any fireworks, sparklers, bonfires, ordinary fire or anything that could potentially set you on fire. Last time Rosalie wasn't very happy that you almost burned her in the process, so STAY AWAY FROM ANYTHING FLAMMABLE.
8. You are BANNED from messing with Jasper's emotions. Last time he nearly had sex with Alice in the classroom DURING class, hence why you must NOT do this.
9. You are NOT to use Rosalie/Alice's shampoo, conditioner, body lotion or soap. Not only does it make you smell like them, which tends to…creep humans out, but it makes you seem gay, which Rosalie does NOT appreciate being seen as your gay beard.
10. Finally, both you and Rosalie are BANNED from going to Isle Esme alone, as last time the whole island was in total ruins.
"These rules-" Esme explained s-l-o-w-l-y, pointing at the list, "are to be obeyed. Do you know what obeyed means, Emmett?"
"Yes, I'm not stupid…" Emmett sighed. Esme and Carlisle stared worriedly at each other after hearing this statement, but decided to spare their son's feelings.
"Okay then, we are going to put this list on the wall," Carlisle said, even slower than Esme, pointing at the wall. "So you can see it whenever you need to. Okay?"
"Sure. Can I go bug Alice now?" he moaned, bored.
"Leave Al-" Esme started, then thought that if he was annoying Alice, he douldnt annoy her and Carlisle. "Go ahead."
"Go on then son." Carlisle hurried his son impatiently.
"I'm going, I'm going! Jeez! Talk about not being wanted…" Emmett laughed running up to his favorite sister.
Carlisle immediately kissed his wife gently, glad to have some time alone.
"Do you want to take this to the bedroom, honey?" Esme smiled.
Carlisle didn't hesitate to scoop Esme up bridal style-
"EMMETT! GET YOUR ASS OUT! JAZZ AND I ARE SPENDING TIME TOGETHER IN PRIVATE!" Alice screamed from upstairs.
"Whoa, look at Jazz and Al, getting in on! Nice boobs there, sis!" Emmett laughed. Alice screamed louder and it sounded like Jasper got Emmett.
Seconds later Emmett walked past, mumbling something barely audible even to vampires, but along the lines of 'Great…my sister…bigger boobs…than wife…'. even though they weren't sure, it still made them sick.
"I'd better get to work then." Carlisle said grabbing his briefcase.
"Yes, I have to…do some… stuff." Esme went along with it.
Something told her Emmett was going to break most of his rules pretty soon.