"Sam!" Carly whined.
"No! I don't want to talk about it" I whined back.
"But I'm your best friend!" she made a puppy dog face.
"That's why you shouldn't be pushing me in the first place!" She stopped and stared.
"Fine! You have a point. I guess you can talk to me when you're ready, right?"
"Yeah" I lied.
"But if I didn't see the kiss you wouldn't even tell me! Would you?" she asked.
"Probably not" I was honest.
"Why? You promised no more secrets remember?" she crossed her arms in protest.
"I know" I took a deep breath "but this is hard."
"Doesn't matter how hard it is, I'd be there for you!" she sounded hurt.
"I know. I was just hoping it would go away. I guess that if I had told you it would make it permanent. I was in denial. I guess admitting it to someone was like admitting it to myself, I wasn't ready" I looked down.
I could feel Carly's eyes on me. As I turned my head up I could see her smile. She was grinning. Why the hell she was grinning? This is a serious situation!
"What?" I asked
"I just think that this is the cutest thing in the world! You being in love with Freddie, I mean… everything makes so much sense right now!" she had a big smile on her face.
I knew that smile, she was up to something. Every time she was about meddling in someone else's business she had a grin just like that.
"No! No, no, no!" I said.
"What? What? What? What?" she asked.
"Carly Shay…" I took a deep breath "I don't want you to do anything! Just stay out of this!"
"But… but… It's my two best friends who are involved… how do you expect me to let it go?"
"Letting!" I put my hands on my waist "listen… you wanna do something? Just let it go okay?"
"Can I at least talk to him about it?"
"No!" I screamed
The thought of her talking to him about what happened made me a little sick. It was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted to let it go. I didn't want to talk about it.
"But Sam… If you're confused… imagine him! He'll need to talk to someone too" she had a point.
"Okay! Fair enough. But I don't wanna know!" even if I did.
"Okay. Fair enough" she looked around for a second before turning her gaze to me again "Since when?"
"Since we kissed for the first time" I said without a doubt.
"Two years? And you didn't even told me?" she wasn't surprise or upset, just a little disappointed.
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
"Okay" I didn't know what else to say.
"And I dated him. That must've hurt" she looked sad.
"A little in the beginning, but I knew deep down inside it wasn't meant to be. And you kinda dated the kid for like two days" I joked.
"I guess… Sam? If I knew… I would never-" I cut her off.
We stood quiet for a while. After a few awkward seconds, that seemed like an eternity, she took two steps forward and hugged me.
A tight bear hug. I waited a while to hug her back, but I did. I could feel the tears in the corner of my eyes, but I was determinate to not let them fall.
"I'm here for whatever you need" we sat on the floor.
"I know Carls" I made myself comfortable in her embrace.
"I'm very proud" she kissed the top of my head.
"Why?" I wiped the first tear to fall off my face.
"You made a move. A very brave one."
We stood there on the girls bathroom floors until the end of the lock in. Me and my brunette best friend. We didn't talk anymore. I figured she would give me a break, but knowing Carly, she wouldn't drop the subject. So many thoughts running through my head, my heart pounding, my eyes full of tears, I knew I've ruined everything. Nothing would ever be the same. The memories of my biggest mistake kept haunting me. But deep down inside of my heart, a little light of hope was shinning. He didn't pull back. He didn't stop me. He didn't reject me. What did that mean? I had the questions, unsure if I wanted the answers. That was when I knew… I had lost my mind.