The bedroom door slams open and a muffled voice screeches, "DAMIEN!"

The anti-Christ in question looks up from his blueprints. His blood runs cold when he sees Kenny stomping towards him.

"You bastard! You told me you'd wait until twenty-twelve!"

Damien drops his pen and jumps up from his bed. The blueprints of the empire state building spill onto the floor. He tries to hide them out under his blanket but Kenny snatches him from him.

Kenny looks over the blueprints, snorts in disgust, and rips them in half in one clean movement.

"Ahhhhhhh-" Damien gasps out. "You didn't just do that." He tries to grab the halved blueprints.

"Oh? I didn't? Oops, I'll do it again." Kenny tears the blueprints into quarters, then eighths.


"Shut up, dude. So. What's this I hear about the end of the world?"

Damien's eyes are still glued on the blueprints.

"If you don't tell me, I'm going to start making some tiny fractions out of this." He waves the shreds in front of Damien's face.


"Start talking."

"End of the world? That's just silly Christian talk. Don't know what you're talking about."

"Dude. You're the one who's been flexing your muscles in front of the mirror for the past few weeks."

"But I have great muscles."

"No, you don't. And it might be a way for most guys to reassure themselves that they aren't scrawny twigs, but for you it's a way to pump yourself up before you try to take over the world again."


Kenny rips smaller shreds into the blueprints and lets the pieces of paper flutter to the floor.


"Shut it. So. What are you planning?"

Kenny steps forward and grabs Damien's collar.


"Forget about the fucking blueprints!"

"Did you kill yourself just to get down here?"

"Maybe. That's not the point. Why are you trying to take over the world now?"

"But that crazy Christian guy has done this so many times before that no one believes him any more and it'll be so funny when it actually does happen-" he starts to whine.

"No. You promised me you'd wait until December 2012 before you started the apocalypse."

"But it's boring down in hell. You're only down here like every other day. Give me back my blueprints."

"No. You're not taking over the world tomorrow."

"Or what?" Damien snaps.

"Or I'll tickle you."

The two boys stare at each other for a few seconds.


Another few seconds pass.

"You have to promise to come down here for my birthday."

I'm atheist, I'm bisexual, I watch porn and covet my . . . friend's girlfriend, I say the lord's name in vain and I eat shellfish. Review if you're going to hell by the bible's standards!