I can't believe I'm moving in with Mama. I mean, I finally get to leave Papa but…still…..what am I gonna tell my friends? More importantly, what am I gonna tell Soul?
I admit I'm a coward. I still haven't found any courage to tell my friends. I can't bring myself to tell Krona because I was its first real friend. It will be sad when I finally tell it. Maybe I could write a letter to them? I really don't wanna see their expressions when they find out that they'll never see me again. Will they cry? Will they hate me? I hope not. I mean I still wanna be able to visit and if they hate me….i don't know what I'm going to do.
It kind of feels weird. I'm so used to writing poems at times like this, but Tsubaki said that writing in a diary helps. She's probably right though. I mean she deals with Black Star so calmly in person; I'm scared to know what she writes in her diary. But because I like poems, I really wanna write one. I hope you don't mind diary. Just one of my things:
It starts standing tall and proud in the trees
But as the fall comes
They become weak
They fall to the ground
They die slowly and painfully
But it doesn't matter
They stay with their family and friends
But I will have no one
When my leaf falls
I will die
Diary I'm crying right now. If I move with Mama I'm gonna be the leaf that dies alone. I'm gonna have no one.
I think before I leave. I should maybe give my confession of love…too Soul. I don't wanna leave without telling him how I feel. Oh diary, I just love soul! He makes me so happy. He's the first man I learned to trust, he's always there for me. I don't know what I'm gonna do without him. Knowing him, he'll survive without me. He'll find someone else. He'll just completely forget about me…
Diary. I've decided to write the letter. I don't care if they hate me. They would have pushed me out of their lives anyway.
Goodbye Diary. Talk to you again,