Hi. So, this is my first ever fic! Forgive me if it's not the most amazing thing you've ever read on this site, but I tried! I have fallen in love with this series and this couple over the past… three days (wow), and this popped into my head, and I needed to write it. So here ya go!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, just this random piece of fluff writing.
Warnings: OOCness? Mentions of lemon, oh, and YAOI, don't like, don't read
~A Demon's Realization~
The two collapsed onto the mattress beneath them, both panting heavily. Ciel rolled onto his side to face the demon that lay beside of him. He watched for a moment as Sebastian regained his breath after their previous activity. Even when he was fighting to get his breathing under control, Sebastian's face still remained its usual stoic self. After the demon's breath slowed, Ciel spoke.
"Yes, my lord?" Ciel hesitated. He had to ask. He wanted- no, needed to know.
Sebastian turned so he was facing his master. After all this time, he had learned to read the earl's face rather well. He became even better at reading him after they had started sleeping together nearly six months ago, so he knew his lord was worried about something, and was hesitant to tell Sebastian about it. With a sigh, the butler turned further until he was on his side, facing the boy. Reaching out to his master's small body and pulling it against his own, he tucked the boy's head up under his chin and murmured into his teal hair.
"Ask anything you want to. You know I will answer as best I can. I live to serve you." Ciel hesitated another moment before speaking.
"This is an order, you understand? You have to answer this truthfully, no lies. No half-truths either. I want to have your honest response."
"Sebastian, do you…" he took a deep breath before continuing. "Do you love me?" Sebastian went rigid. This was most certainly the last thing he had expected Ciel to ask of him. How was he to explain? He pulled away slightly to look into the earl's mismatched eyes, and his breath caught in his throat. The look on his young master's face was one of fear and uncertainty. He was scared of Sebastian's answer.
"That… is a very difficult question." He whispered.
"Try." Ciel said the word so quietly even Sebastian's heightened hearing could barely make it out. Sebastian closed his eyes. Where to start?
"I… when I first met you, I didn't care about anything, especially lowly humans. You were all just food to me. When you summoned me, I hardly listened to why you wanted to make the contract, I was just focused on your soul. Since you want me to be honest, I will be: your soul was- is- the most delicious thing I have come across in my entire existence. So, of course, I made the contract.
"At first, it was pure torture to have to bow to you; to call you 'master', and 'lord'. I hated having you look down on me, like I was beneath you. The only reason I stuck with it was to have your soul. Saving you all the time wasn't hard, obviously, but it was sort of a bother. So many times I was tempted to leave you, but the thought of how your soul would taste kept me coming back." He paused, thinking, before he continued.
"It was about a year ago when my feelings toward you started to change. There was no particular event to trigger it, but suddenly, I realized you reminded me of a demon. You were ruthless to anyone who threatened your mission, or the queen. I started taking an interest in you. I watched you closely, and realized something further. Underneath your cold, hard demeanor, you are still a good person. You still want to help people. You still want to be just a kid, even if only for a little while.
"And when I looked even closer, I saw the truth. You are scared. You don't want to have to grow up so fast. You don't want to have to deal with the deaths of your parents, or murders, or revenge… or me." Ciel tensed next to him, and started to interrupt, but Sebastian merely placed a finger over his mouth and moved on.
"Then I found out about the nightmares. I took to standing outside your door and listening for your screams, so I could wake you if necessary. Though I soon realized what you were screaming as you woke. You were screaming my name. I took that to mean your nightmares were about me, and if that were the case it would only cause you more grief were I to go in and tend to you. But after I heard you crying one night, I had to know. Do you remember that night, Master?" Ciel nodded.
"You asked what was wrong, and I hugged you and asked you not to leave me. And then we, uh…" Ciel blushed. The demon smiled.
"Yes. That night. That night you asked me to take your virginity. After you fell asleep, I sat up for hours trying to work out what it meant. Obviously the nightmares were not what I had originally thought. They were apparently about me leaving, which I didn't understand. Wouldn't you want me to leave without taking your soul? It made no sense, and I don't think I fully understood until tonight." He made the boy look at him once again.
"For the past six months I have struggled with figuring out how I feel for you. I don't hate you anymore, nor do I feel contempt when I think of your mortality, it scares me actually, when I think about you dying in a few short decades. And I only realized a few nights ago that the thought of our contract coming to a close and me eating your soul terrifies me. I dread that day. I don't want to kill you. And now, I believe I have found the word to describe my feelings for you." He pulled his master's face to his to land a burning kiss on those soft lips. Pulling back, he leaned in very close to the boy's ear, so close that when he spoke his lips brushed the shell.
"Never in all my long life have any of my past contractors captivated me like you do. No one I have ever met has the same fire burning in them. No one has ever been so merciless and yet so full of mercy." He pulled away again to kiss the boy's forehead. Then he met his master's eyes once again as he spoke his final words of explaination.
"I love you, Ciel Phantomhive. I know that now. No matter when you take your revenge, I will not take your soul. I will stay by your side for the rest of your life." He smiled. "I am forever your faithful servant." Ciel was still for a moment while he took this in. Then he threw his arms around Sebastian's neck.
"I love you, Sebastian."
"I love you too, Ciel." The two exchanged soft, lazy kisses for a few moments before they lay their heads down and slept, wrapped in the arms of the one they loved.
So, how'd I do on my first ever fic? I'd love to get some feedback, but any and all hateful comments submitted by yaoi-haters will be burned, then I will send Sebastian to hunt you down, and kill you with fancy silverware. But seriously, let me know how I did! Later!