This is the chapter with the (hopefully) funny ending. Everything's the same except the last paragraph, which I edited.
Ron felt like he was in heaven. He felt like he had been in heaven for weeks. Draco and Veronica: the perfect pair. He had never felt so loved in his life.
"He's exactly what a girl needs," he said dreamily. He brushed his fringe back and clipped it loosely with a beautiful emerald hairclip, shaped into a glittering flower. He had borrowed it from Ginny, after she fainted from the shock of seeing Ron as a girl and he had to wake her up again. He ran his hairbrush through his hair one more time.
"There. Perfect. Completely perfect" he said, standing back and looking at himself in the mirror once more. He was wearing a silky emerald green dress to match his hairclip, tight against his body, sleeveless and low-cut at the back. It had been a present from Draco. Ron blushed as he remembered Draco's words when Ron first put it on."I look stupid"
"Stupid? You blind? It looks perfect on you"
"It clashes so much with my hair…"
Ron suddenly found himself in Draco's arms. Draco gave Ron a long kiss.
"You look beautiful"
The door opened.
"Ron? You coming out anytime soon or do we have to drag you out?" Hermione asked, grinning. She was dressed in a beautiful light sky blue, her dress going down to her ankles. Ron grinned back and got up.
"I see you're not going for the 'completely un-Hermione-like' look this year. Who did you ask to go with you?"
Hermione opened the door wider to reveal her date, Harry, casually dressed in the sweater Mrs. Weasley had made for him, black trousers and his black robes. Harry gawped.
"New dress?" he asked.
"Mmhmm…" Ron said, feeling, again, the usual flutter of his heart whenever Harry talked to him.
"Looks nice" Harry mumbled, finding himself unable to tear his eyes away from Ron. Ron blushed under Harry gaze. He shook himself mentally.
~Draco loves you! And remember, best friends, ONLY! ~ He reminded himself strictly. Apparently Harry must have been thinking almost the same thing for he looked away. Ron grinned.
"Nervous?" he asked. Harry grinned back, the tension in the air replaced by the familiar feeling of friendship.
"Yeah, a little" he admitted.
"I would be, if Hermione was my date. Watch out, she'll lumber all over your feet!" Ron teased and got a light hit on the head from a smiling Hermione.
Ron sat on a chair next to a bowl of iced fruit punch, twiddling his thumbs and getting more and more nervous by the minute.
~Where's Draco? What if he's waiting for me at Gryffindor? But if I go to check and he comes here… what if he's sick and he can't make it? What if… what if he went off with another girl? What if he fell into the Great Lake? What if Snape's holding him down in the dungeons and torturing him? What if… if…~
I sound ridiculous, Ron thought with a nervous giggle.
"Hey Ron! Looking' good! What's the big occasion, hmm?" Fred asked, walking by.
"Ooh, look, she's blushing!" George teased.
"Must be some special guy…" Fred grinned, winking and nudging George.
"Fred Weasley! Did you invite me to dance or to flirt with another girl?" Angelina called impatiently. Fred glanced at George, who grinned. George turned around.
"Coming my dear Witch of the West," he said, grinning charmingly. Grinning, Angelina clouted him on the head playfully then dragged him off, mistaking him for Fred. Ron looked away from Fred, finding really nothing to say. He almost breathed a sigh of relief when Fred suddenly called out "Lee! Hey, nice clothes! Who's your date?" and walked off. He really had no idea why he felt so nervous, and in front of his brother.
"I'm late" came a smooth, cool voice. Ron almost smiled, Draco never did know how to apologize. He looked up to look at the Slytherin. He was dressed in all black, a black shirt, black trousers and black, velvet robes. Ron gazed at him admiringly. Draco had style. Even though his outfit was simple, all black, it suited him perfectly. The black was a contrast to his pale skin, making it look like he was radiating faintly. The black also accentuated his beautiful blue-gray eyes, making them seem to glow and swirl more mysteriously. Ron realized with a blush that Draco was staring back at him.
"What?" he asked, feeling slightly uneasy. Draco shook his head slightly and smiled his irresistible lopsided smile that Ron had grown to adore so much.
"You look great" he said. He bowed and held out a hand.
"Dance?" he asked. Ron smiled with happiness and took his hand.
"Remember, it was you who asked me. Not my fault if I tread all over your feet" he joked. Draco smirked as he twirled the redhead under his arm.
"Pity, I was hoping I would be the one who could tread all over your feet"
"No, seriously, I can't dance" Ron admitted. Draco held Ron close as they swayed slowly to the slow, lulling waltz music.
"Seriously, I can't either" he whispered.
"Ow" Draco said. He was sitting at a table, wincing.
"I warned you" Ron said apologetically.
"Ow" Draco repeated.
"Squished feet?" Harry asked, nodding sympathetically from across the table. Draco started, he had no idea that he had gotten over there. He looked at Harry, suspicious. It was unusual, that Harry would talk to him. Especially since he had beaten him at Quidditch. Seeing that Harry's face didn't look at all guilty or like he was planning anything, he smirked.
"You too?" he asked. Harry nodded.
"I suppose that was to be expected. Girls are so klutzy" Harry said and was immediately given another light hit on the head from Hermione. There was a loud whoop. Draco and Ron looked over to see a huge crowd gathered around a pair of people, cheering.
"Didn't you know?" Hermione asked, seeing their puzzled faces. "Fred and George put up some mistletoe, randomly around the Hall. It's almost invisible, until a pair is under it. Then a light goes onto the two and they have to kiss"
Ron bit his lip, his eyes immediately darting to the ceiling. He didn't really want to be caught under one of those mistletoe. Of course, he didn't mind kissing Draco, but doing it in public?
Harry got up. "It's hot in here. I'm off to get some fruit punch. Anyone want some?" he asked. Draco waved a hand dismissively and Ron shook his head.
"I'll have one" Hermione said. Harry went off to get the drinks. Draco stood up and pulled a startled Ron away.
"What?" he asked as Draco led them both into the middle of the dance floor again. Draco didn't say a word and began to move to the slow, romantic dance music. Ron looked back at Hermione then realized.
"Draco! She didn't do anything!" he said.
"Please. Malfoys don't sit at the same table as Mudbloods" Draco said. Seeing Ron's somewhat disappointed and upset face he hastily added "But I was feeling like dancing anyway"
Ron looked at him. He looked sincere. He sighed.
"You know, the problem is, you always look sincere" he said, putting his head on Draco's chest. Draco held Ron close, one hand around the redhead's slim waist, the other one in Ron's silky hair, caressing it. He put his head down onto Ron's.
"I know. And that's why you love me" he said. The two swayed, turned slowly, moving across the Hall, feeling like they were on a fluffy cloud, all alone, just the two of them…
"AH!" Ron and Draco yelped in unison as a loud ring went off. They leapt apart, Ron blushing, suddenly noticing the amount of people staring at him, most of them grinning.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" bellowed a voice and Fred crashed through the crowd.
"DON'T MOVE!" hollered George, following right after. Fred stood legs apart, hands crossed on his chest.
"You have officially been caught UNDER A MISTLETOE!" he barked, business-like. Ron looked up. Above his head, now not invisible anymore, hung a big piece of mistletoes.
"And now you have to suffer the CONSEQUENCES!" George howled in laughter.
"Yes! As your punishment for having actually been CAUGHT under one of these Yuletide tools of mischief, you have to KISS each other before you are permitted to leave!"
"And make it LOOOONG" George said, grinning, ignoring the poisonous looks his brother was shooting him. Ron looked around helplessly, embarrassed by the attention. He heard a few whispers,
"Wow. That girl is SO lucky, Draco is just irresistible"
"He's a jerk"
He looked up at Draco, who was looking at him.
~Be jealous girls. Be very jealous. Because yes, he IS irresistible, and he's MINE~
Draco shot a questioning look at Ron, who, with one look, seemed to answer.
~In front of everyone? ~
~What's the difference? ~
~Don't you… oh all right~
Just as Fred was about to tell the pair to 'hurry it up' they closed their eyes and kissed each other. There was a deathly silence then the Hall erupted in loud, good-hearted cheers from Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and a few cheers from Slytherin. There were a few grunts or murmurs of obvious distaste but the loud cheers from everyone else drowned them out.
~Ron and Draco. Draco and Ron. Perfect pair. Together forever. Listen to me, I'm rhyming~ Ron thought giddily. ~I feel so happy, so sky-high, so special, so… so… WHAT AM I DOING?~
Ron's eyes snapped open in horror, Draco still kissing him on the lips. He could feel his hair shortening slowly, shrinking into his head. He could feel it going wavier, could he his slim hand and wrist thickening slightly to look like the stronger-made hands of a male. He pushed Draco away, who looked at him, confused and hurt.
"I-I-uh… I gotta go!" Ron yelled and bolted, leaving behind a shocked murmur and a wondering Draco. He could feel the transformation speeding up more rapidly, his hair already the right length.
"Kanomori!" Ron shouted as he ran towards the Gryffindor form room. The door swung open.
"Oh hello Ro… why are you in a DRESS?" the Fat Lady shrieked.
"Explaintoyoulaterthanksforopeningthedoorbye" Ron babbled and charged into the girls' dorm where a very alarmed Ginny Weasley was playing wizard chess with an equally startled Neville.
"Ron!" she gasped.
"Why are you wearing a DRESS?" Neville asked. Ron ignored them and ran to his drawer. He pulled out all his clothes in a hurry, sending them flying. Ginny and Neville stared at him, sure that he had gone quite mad. Suddenly Ron pulled out something mauve, black and gray and held in the air triumphantly for two seconds before he charged into the toilet and slammed the door. Ginny and Neville looked at each other, then, gathering up all the chess pieces, moved as hastily as they could out of the room.
"Ron? Where are you?" Hermione called.
"Ron?" Harry shouted. The toilet door opened and Ron walked out, a bit shaken, the green dress draped over his arm.
"R-oh" Hermione stopped as she saw Ron. Harry and Hermione stared. They were used to Ron as a girl, now he was a boy again. Ron looked at them then smiled weakly.
"Um… surprise?" he said. Suddenly Harry started laughing. Ron looked at him in puzzlement. Harry walked to the toilet; still laughing then came out with something in his hands. He looked at Ron then threw the cold, wet face towel at Ron's face.
"Hey!" Ron exclaimed. He held the wet towel in his hands, staring at Harry, wondering why he just did that. Hermione looked at Ron, looked at the black mascara running down Ron's eyes and the hairclip, now because it was shorter and wavier, was sticking almost comically out of his now tangled hair.
"Welcome back Ron" she said.
The next day Ron, Hermione and Harry were chatting to each other happily.
"No! Not really?" Ron gasped unbelievingly.
"Yeah, really!" Harry said. Ron cracked up.
"Oh geez, Fred and George are CRUEL. Making Parvati kiss GOYLE!" he laughed. "Who else fell victim to the mistletoe?"
"Well you wouldn't believe this, but Professor Trelawney and Snape"
Ron's eyes went wide and he looked at Hermione, who had a wide grin on her face. She nodded.
"But Snape gave them such a venomous look they gulped and ran for their lives" Harry said. Ron gasped for breath.
"Really, please… HAHA! Trelawney and Snape! AHAHAHA!!!!" he guffawed.
"You're back. How nice. Seen your sister anywhere today?" Draco asked. Ron started and immediately stopped laughing.
"Yeah, Ginny's in the library" Hermione cut in. Draco looked at her coldly.
"Veronica. Not Ginny"
"She got really sick last night at the Yule Ball. She went to Madame Pomfrey and had to go back home," Ron said quickly. Draco stared at Ron, as if deciding something. His eyes pierced Ron's searchingly, as if he knew Ron was lying. Draco hesitated then plunged his hand into his pocket. He pulled out something green and held it out to Ron.
"Can you give this to her?" he asked. Ron looked at the object. It was a jade green comb, thin and delicate with a silver snake curling around the handle. Ron could hear Harry and Hermione gasp. It looked like a very expensive comb. Ron took it, feeling tears of sadness well up in his eyes. He looked at Draco, his angelic hair that he would never feel again, his forever cold, blue-gray eyes. He took the comb with a trembling hand.
"I'm sure she'll love it" Ron said softly, fingering the cold, metal snake softly. Draco stared at Ron as if wondering something then, apparently deciding against it, turned and walked away. Ron watched him walk away, his footsteps silent on the hard stone floor. He held the comb to his heart softly, gently.
"Draco" he whispered.
"Thish ish delishush. Sure you don't want any?" Harry asked, chomping through his salad. Hermione looked at him, disgusted.
"Now I don't. Please Harry, close your mouth, you're putting me off my appetite" she said. Harry stuck out his tongue, pieces of mushed lettuce mixed with orangey Thousand Island sauce and saliva stuck to it. Hermione turned greenish and turned away. Ron munched on his salad slowly.
"I wonder what they're doing?" Ron asked. Harry and Hermione turned to see what Ron was looking at. They saw Fred and George sneak quietly up to Snape's place. They looked around then tipped something into Snape's goblet. They grined at each other then ran as fast as they could. Ron, Harry and Hermione looked at each other quizzically then shrugged and continued eating.
Snape woke up in a bad mood. He normally woke up in a bad mood, but today he was in a REALLY bad mood. He got up out of bed groggily, blinking hard to try and clear his eyes. He went to the washroom. He loved his washroom; it was big and dark, just how he liked everything. He stood in front of the mirror and splashed water onto his face. He suddenly realized that something black and irritating was in his eyes. He brushed it away irritably to find it flopping back down. Snape grabbed it angrily. To his surprise he found it to be a bit of his fringe.
~Strange, my hair was never this lo…~ Snape stared at himself in the mirror, his red, full lips, his greasy black hair which fell down to his curved hips, straight. His eyes widened with horror.
"What happened?" he shrieked, splashing himself with more water, thinking he was seeing wrong. After seeing that it wasn't working he was about to pinch himself when he put two and two together.
"WEASLEY!!!" he hollered furiously, so loudly that his voice echoed through the corridors of the huge school. In one of the Gryffindor rooms two red-haired, freckled teenage boys laughed and exchanged hi-fives at the anguished scream, green eyes dancing with mirth and mischief.
OK, that was it! And due to some severe pressuring (PEER PRESSURE! HAH!) I might write another slash fanfic. What do you think people, Draco/Harry or Draco/Ron? No threesomes, sorry.
The writer typed in her last word then stretched and sat back triumphantly.
"Finally" she sighed, "It's finished. A masterpiece."
She cracked her knuckles slowly then, stretching one more time, turned her attention back to the computer. Her fingers typed furiously on the keyboard.
"Lessee now, fanfiction dot net, log in, dark underscore opalz at yahoo dot com… Document manager, browse file… Draco and Ron…" she murmured. A dark shadow fell over the girl. She typed on happily, unaware of the looming danger until she heard the cough. She spun around with a shriek, heart beating rapidly. The person stood towering over her threateningly. A shadow fell across the person's face, making it impossible to see the face. Lightning flashed, flashing light across the person's face, highlighting his or her nose and mouth. The person's eyes flashed murderously and the girl screamed in terror. There was a loud groan and suddenly the light went on. The girl stared at the person and cracked up, rolling everywhere with laughter.
"It's not funny!" Snape roared, hands on hips.
"Wha- OH MY GOD!" the writer hooted in laughter, tears threatening to pour over her face in her laughter. She gasped and rolled like a fish out of water, loud laughs rocking her body. Snape crossed his hands over his chest and scowled. Finally the writer stopped laughing.
"OK, there must have been some reason why you came to visit, apart from to make me laugh" she said, wiping tears from her eyes. Snape pulled out a bunch of his long oily black hair for her to see.
"See this? It's LONG! I do NOT have long hair," he complained. The writer shrugged and turned back to her computer and typed in something. She then whirled around again.
"Easily fixed, what would you prefer then?" she asked, looking at Snape. He had on the loosest, baggiest clothing he had to try and hide his figure, once long nails bitten short and long eyelashes viciously hacked at. His voice was VERY feminine and high-pitched but croaky. He waved the bunch of hair in front of the writer's face.
"No long hair! That's all I ask!" he shouted. The writer looked at him, assessing, then typed something quickly into the computer. There was a loud poof and the Potions teacher was engulfed in a cloud of purple. When the cloud dissipated the writer took one look at Snape and burst out laughing again. Snape had short shoulder length hair, dyed bright pink, in two pigtails. Snape ran to a mirror and looked at himself. Then he turned to the girl in horror. She grinned evilly back.
"No!" he yelled frantically.
"Oh yes" she said. Her fingers flew across the keyboard.
"Nooooo!" Snape yelled, diving futilely for the keyboard in an attempt to stop the writer. But it was too late.
"It's published all over fanfiction dot net" she said happily.
"No… no, now what do I do?" Snape whispered hoarsely. The writer sighed, and got up. She walked to the door and turned off the lights. Hesitating, she looked back.
"Good luck" she said the closed the door behind her, leaving Snape in the dark.
Sorry, just had to write that last bit. Was high on candy. CANDEEEEE!!!!