Rated M: Language and Adult Content
I know I really shouldn't have started a new story when I am way behind in updating my other one, but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone and I had to get it out. Also, I haven't visited the site for a little while, but I'm sure there are a ton of other stories following the progression of Damon and Elena's relationship from the incredible moment we received in the season finale and that is exactly why I have decided to take a different approach.
This story is pretty much my excuse to only write the important moments of a possible Delena timeline without all of the necessary transitional phases of their lives. It's going to span quite a distance into the future jumping rapidly and only reveal snapshots instead of the entire story, but I will briefly fill in any important blanks at the beginning of each future memory. I must warn you, not every chapter will be fluff and there will be some angst involved, but ultimately I hope you like the finished product.
- May 12, Present Day -
"It's okay to love them both; I did." Katherine smugly suggested as she tossed the empty vile in my direction.
I caught it with ease as the whoosh of her departure sent my hair fluttering around my face. I took a deep breath as the satin strands settled, unlike my hyperactive nerves considering the uncomfortable situation I've found myself in. I'm not sure I'm ready to face the mistake I've just executed or even if it was a mistake; all I know is that I have forced myself, as well as Damon, into a very messy situation that has the possibility of quickly spiraling out of control.
Figuring there was no sense in delaying the inevitable, I turned to face him. I could already see the rejuvenation process of the mysterious liquid taking effect across Damon's features and this brought me a heart-wrenching sense of relief. He'd managed to prop himself up on one elbow and life was stretching across his features giving his previously white-porcelain skin a flush of color. The droplets of moisture had already begun receding through the surface of his skin and when his eyebrows arched I knew a fragment of Damon had resurfaced.
I couldn't resist the smile that stretches across my lips at his motion because those two arches of hair configured about 85% of Damon's reactions and right now they were revealed that he was exactly as taken aback by the sudden change of events as I was.
His lips parted and I braced myself for a question I was not ready to answer; one concerning my feelings towards him and his brother. At the moment, it would be impossible to formulate an answer because honestly I had no freaking idea what I was feeling. The things he confessed and his previously impending death had my heart all folded in on itself, but another part of that organ had shattered under the news I just received regarding Stefan. I was completely split in two and a piece of me wondered if I would ultimately end up like Katherine, tearing these two brothers apart, because it certainly appeared I was headed in that direction.
"Elena, we have to find Stefan," Damon declared and I'm taken by surprise. A mixture of relief and selfish disappoint swirled around the base of stomach as I listened to his words; the very words that had nothing to do with the scene that had just been acted out between us on his bed.
But I disregarded my wounded ego and refuted, "You're not going anywhere in your condition." I wanted him to help Stefan, but I also didn't want him becoming collateral damage in the process.
His voice rose a bit, signifying exactly how much effect the liquid had already produced, and challenged, "Try and stop me."
I let out of a breath of air because now I knew for sure that Damon was completely back to his arrogant, stubborn self. It had been so nice experiencing the vulnerable and forgiving side of him that had been present just moments ago, but apparently all I was left with was the typical Damon I had become all too familiar with.
Typical Damon clumsily maneuvered himself from his bed and added, "Stefan just sacrificed himself for my cure, whatever the hell that means, and I'm not going to let anything happen to him."
I waivered for a moment in the spot I was standing and debated whether to move or remain firmly planted where I was. Ultimately, my feet refused to budge and I countered his heroic declaration with the obvious kink in his plan. "And how exactly do you plan on defeating Klaus on your own?"
He merely shrugged me off and started looking around the room for something as he responded, "I haven't gotten that far in the planning process yet."
I scoffed at his typical impulsive nature because it wouldn't hurt him to devise a plan once in a while instead of running off on some suicide mission. I wanted him to go; I really did. I just wanted him to think about what he planned on doing when he got wherever he was going.
I crossed my arms across my chest defensively and suggested in a voice that didn't come out as lightly as I had anticipated, "Well maybe you should before you go off and get yourself killed, which is exactly why this whole thing happened in the first place."
He finally stopped looking around the room and picked up a useless weapon from the top drawer of his nightstand before shoving it into his pocket. He turned to face me and I could see that I've made some progress with my last statement. His crystal blue eyes were portraying a certain sense of warmth and understanding as he took a few steps towards me and confessed, "Elena, look; I'm shouldering enough blame for the both of us right now without yours added to it. I've spent my entire life torturing Stefan for turning me into a vampire and he still turns around and saves the fucking day. I'm not going to let my overly-compensating brother suffer when it should be me. So you can continue to stand in my way or you can move aside and let me handle it."
His response came as a shock because that wasn't how I intended my previous statement to be taken. I just wanted him to see how stupidly impulsive he was being, but perhaps my subconscious was placing blame on him and I decided not to argue with it at the moment. Instead, I could see that this was important to Damon and so I decided that if I wasn't going to be able to stop him, than I might as well offer my assistance. "Fine; then I'm coming with you."
But he unleashed his determination on me and declared, "No, you're going to stay right here. I've got enough to deal with already without having to worry about your life on my hands as well."
"I care about him as much as you do and I'm not just going to sit around and wait for news. I've watched too many of the people I love die already and I want to help. So let me!" My voice held the perfect amount of strength and I was sure my point had been made because his strong front cracked. I witnessed it happening right before my very eyes and a sense of elation coursed through my veins in victory.
Damon stepped forward again so that his face rested only a few inches from mine. There was genuine compassion in his eyes as he questioned, "And what happens if you have to watch another one die tonight? Can you really handle that?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but found myself at a loss for words. I wanted to argue my point, but honestly I wasn't sure if I could. It had been hard enough having to watch Damon nearly die in my arms and I had no idea how I would handle watching someone I actually knew I loved die. So instead I dodged the question and vulnerably stated, "I'm not sure I can handle the possibility of both of you dying tonight." Part of me hoped this had some effect in keeping him here, but the larger part of me knew this wasn't going to be the result. And another part of me wondered why I was so dead set on securing the longevity of his supernatural life instead of my boyfriend's.
Damon's hands reached up to cup the sides of my face and I involuntarily leaned into one. The subtle contact of his cool skin was refreshing against my cheeks and for the time being I just wanted to relish in this moment for as long as I could. I closed my eyes and pictured this exact moment occurring in an alternate life where it would be appropriate, but all too soon Damon's tender voice pulled me from that dream and I opened my eyes to meet the blinding brilliance of his. "I can take care of myself and right now I need to take care of Stefan. He's done more than enough to fix my mistakes in the past and it's time that I finally fix one of my own. We'll both be fine, Elena, but I need to go."
He dropped his hands and slid past me towards the door. With the wisps of my alternate reality still swiping for recognition, I realized that I couldn't let him leave without talking about the intimate moment that happened between us. "Damon…"
He turned around with his brows lifted urging me to continue on. I hesitated for a moment before two words fumbled from my mouth, "About tonight."
Damon waited for me to add more, but I couldn't. I still had no idea how deep my feelings for him extended and so instead I just waited for him to address the issue. Perhaps then I would be able to form some sort of a response.
He rolled his eyes at the stretch of silence that followed my short statement and assured, "You don't have to worry about it. I know you love Stefan and it's always going to be Stefan." His voice was elevated and slightly mocking as the last sentence escaped his lips; completely different from the accepting way it had been just moments before.
Damon hesitated for a moment before his hand swept through the air and continued in his typical deflective manner, "You were simply following your nature and giving me what I wanted before I fell into the vast unknown. Thank you for that, but honestly you should know me better by now. I'd never be stupid enough to believe you actually feel the same way, Elena, but it still means a lot that you cared. At least now I know you've forgiven me and we can move on to bigger and better things, like saving my stupid hero of a brother."
Part of me wanted to counter what he had just said because as I watched him explain I could see the subtle moments of agony as they flashed across his face. Although he had done his best to hide them, I did know him better than to believe any front he constructed to hide the truth that I was hurting him. I didn't want to inflict anymore pain on him because I'd done it for so long now, but I was too scared to hash out the details of our relationship at the moment.
And apparently I had left my big girl panties behind because I nodded in agreement and muttered, "Be safe."
He simply replied, "I will," and disappeared through his bedroom door leaving me to deal with my building anxiety over both his and his brother's life. And as I did this, I felt a notion creep into my conscious before I stubbornly pushed it away. That notion being that our intimate moment before Katherine's rescue held more meaning than it really should have considering how much I loved his brother.
- June 2, Present Day -
"I'm fine, Bonnie," I insisted for what felt like the hundredth time this week, although I knew it was a lie.
Three weeks had passed since Stefan's disappearance and in response I had somehow shriveled down into the zombie version of myself; performing my standard daily tasks, but completely void of any capability besides sulking. The first two weeks had been full of promising hope, but after failed attempts at locator spell after locator spell that hope seemed to dwindle into nothing. Klaus' witches appeared to have made any possibility of finding Stefan a bleak reality.
This week had managed to affect me the most. I'd grown hollow from the absence of his presence and my disintegrating demeanor had managed to alert the constant surveillance of those who cared about me. Bonnie was on duty today and she'd resisted asking the question regarding my emotional state for almost a solid hour, so her untamed concern came as no surprise.
Bonnie rolled her eyes at my lack-luster attempt of persuasion and refuted, "I know you're lying, Elena. Katherine Heigl just had an orgasm in a public restaurant in front of her co-workers and you didn't even giggle."
I forced myself to focus on the television screen just in time to see Gerard Butler pulling a remote control from the sticky fingers of a toddler. I watched the tube for a few more seconds and let out a forced laugh in an attempt to get Bonnie off of my back, but it failed miserably.
She turned to face me and I could feel her eyes penetrating into the side of my cheek as she probed, "We can talk about it if you want."
I let out a long sigh before I turned to face her. "There's nothing we haven't already talked about. Stefan's gone; he could be dead and now my future seems as black as ever. I've never had to accept the thought of living my life without him in it before. I've considered it, of course, but he was always there immediately after the thought flickered through my mind solidifying his spot; you know?"
As the words spilled from my lips, I couldn't help but consider how ridiculous I sounded. What happened to the independent me that stood on her own two feet without the assistance of a guy to lean on? Oh right, she was introduced into the supernatural world and forced to realize exactly how brittle she really was. I was a walking disaster with a constant target on my back and I was honestly so tired of it all.
Concern shadowed Bonnie's eyes as she weakly responded, "I understand. I was absolutely lost when I thought Jeremy had died." A tremble rocked through both our bodies before she continued, "It's a lot to handle knowing the person you love might not always be there."
"Yeah," was all I could respond with as my eyes fell to the beige carpet covering Bonnie's living room floor.
"Maybe I should call Damon," she suggested.
The idea did sound promising. Somehow since Stefan's disappearance, Damon had become the most comforting friend I could have asked for when he was around, which hadn't been that often because half of the time he had been out searching for his long lost brother. Perhaps it was because he was the only person that truly cared about Stefan with as much intensity as I did, or maybe it was because his encounter with death had brought out a more understanding side to him.
I wasn't sure of the reason, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that I had a friend who was experiencing exactly the same intensity of pain I was and didn't force me to talk about it all of the time like everyone else. He knew what I was going through; respected me when I needed space and offered his own when I needed a shoulder to cry on. We hadn't discussed his near death experience any further since that initial night and instead had fallen into a support system; one where he supported me more than I supported him since I was so goddamn unstable.
Although, a large part of me wanted to accept Bonnie's offer, Damon would force me to lift my spirits and he definitely wouldn't accept the behavior I was oozing out. At the moment, I really just wanted to continue wallowing in my own self-pity, so I dismissively shook my head back and forth and grunted.
My response caused Bonnie to position her legs Indian style on the couch and mutter, "Alright, I really didn't want to do this, but I think there is something you need to see."
I rolled my eyes at her attempt to lighten my mood and stated, "I've already seen your Flintstones underpants and even they won't get a laugh from me today."
Bonnie scrunched up her nose and shot me a look that clearly expressed how un-amused she was at my attempt at humor. "Very funny, but I actually had something else in mind. After Emily helped me bring Jeremy back, I had terrible nightmares of losing him again. I got fed up and decided to check out the grimiores to see if there was anything I could do to make them stop, but instead I stumbled upon a spell that lets you peek into the future."
This had my interest peaked and unconsciously I inched my body forward as I hung on her every word.
"There are different levels that you can set the spell to and I just set it to the lowest level, which took me to one moment a few years from now, and I saw you in my future."
I knew there were a ton of other questions I should have been considering, but only one was prominent in my mind. "Was I happy?"
Her face was unreadable as she suggested, "I really think that this is something you're going to need to check out for yourself."
That didn't sound promising, and I momentarily debated not going through with the spell, but ultimately my curiosity won on. "Let's do it then, but if I'm going through with this then I want to see more than just one moment. Is there a way to see multiple portions of my future?" The possibility of revealing my future had seriously excited me, which was an emotion I hadn't experienced in a while and it felt positively enthralling.
Bonnie nodded her head at my question and answered, "Of course, I told you there were different levels to this thing." Her tone suddenly became very serious as she continued, "But I must warn you, I have only seen up until a certain point. I'm not sure how your entire future pans out and it might not be what you're expecting. Some memories may be exciting, romantic, and even blissful; but others could be downright heartbreaking. So are you sure you want to go through with this?"
I didn't care what sort of unwanted experiences and emotions my future memories held because god knows I was going through the worst in the present moment. So I nodded my head and replied, "Absolutely. Get the book."
Within a moment, Bonnie had retrieved her spell book and positioned herself beside me on the couch. She flipped through the pages before landing on the appropriate one and asked, "Are you ready?"
I raised my eyebrows at her and mocked, "What, no chalk or holy water?"
Since my mood had lifted so severely, Bonnie spared me her reprimanding and simply smiled instead. "Not every spell requires preparation and props, Elena. But since we're stalling, I also need to warn you that you're just going to be an entity through this experience. The moments in this particular future timeline have already happened and you can't change what you do or say. You'll just experience while your other-self lives them. You'll be in your own mind, but won't have any thoughts other the ones you're other self has and you'll pretty much follow through the motions like a robot set on auto-play."
Her eyes drifted to the open page of the spell book before they shot back up to look at me. "You'll remember everything when you get back, of course, but I just wanted to let you know how it's going to be during the spell."
I let out a sigh of relief and replied, "That's fine because at the moment I'm honestly not sure if I'm up for making any of my future decisions."
Bonnie let out a low laugh and said, "Alright then, let's get started."
But I threw my hand up into the air and interrupted, "Wait, Bonnie; was your future what you expected?"
She smiled back at me and responded, "Even better," before her eyes lowered back to the page and she slowly began chanting in that typical witchy language I don't even try to comprehend anymore.
I watched her and listened to the poetic way the undeciphered words left her mouth as my eyes began to droop. I struggled to stay awake for a few more seconds before I finally let myself drift into the darkness that was my future.
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Just an FYI: The updates for this story will be sporadic until the last few remaining chapters of my other story have been written, but after that my posts will be pretty standard.