A/N: All credit for the incredibly cheesy chat-up lines in this go to my friends Chloe, Jade and Matt. Honestly, I wasn't the one who thought them up.

Disclaimer: I own not the world or the characters, only the idea.

I Think I Might Have Missed the Point

His dad had told him all about how Grandad Potter had wooed Grandma, and it sounded like a good idea. Constant persistence had paid off, after all - they had gotten married, had Dad and been very happy before they had been killed - so he thought he'd give it a try.

"Hey Weasley, is your dad an alien? 'Cause you're out of this world."

"...Er, no, he's your uncle."

"Roxanne, how much does a penguin weigh?"

"I don't know, James, how much does a penguin weigh?"

"I don't know either, but at least it broke the ice."

"Go away. Just go away."

"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"Are you serious?"

"Baby, would I joke about something like this?"

"Yes, yes you would."

"Hey, Roxy!"

"Don't call me Roxy."

"OK, Roxanne, I was just wondering: do you know CPR?"

"No, why?"

"'Cause you take my breath away."

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Roxanne, if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?"

"Um, I don't know. Stop discrimination, I guess."

"I would rearrange the alphabet, and put U and I together."

"There I was, thinking you might have grown up a little. You had to go and disappoint me, didn't you?"

"OK, what now, Potter?"

"I just wanted to say, that if Eve was tempted by the apple, then you must be my fruit."

"Did you seriously just quote the Bible to try and get me to go out with you?"


"You're pathetic."

"Have you got a plaster, Roxanne?"

"Why do you need a plaster, Potter?"

"I hurt my knee when I fell for you."

"Aww, does the lickle baby want a lollipop?"

After a solid seven months of work, James, eventually, became a little despondent. His fabulous theory wasn't working out too well. However, after another conversation with dad (with some input, this time, from mum too), he realised he'd ignored what was, apparently, the point of the story. So he spent a while working out the kinks before trying again.


"If you're going to try and break the ice with another one of your crappy chat-up lines, you can just turn around and walk away now."

"No, er, no, I'm not. And...I'm sorry about that."

"Newsflash: James Potter actually apologised for something!"

He cleared his throat. "I, uh, just, erm, wanted to, um, ask you s-something."

She stared at him for a while whilst he stood opposite her, gulping.

"Well?" she said eventually, tapping her foot. "What?"

He swallowed noisily. "Would...would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" he said. Or, at least, tried to say. It came out as a garbled mess, sounding more like, "wouyouliagoHogsmeawime?" than actual English, but she understood him nonetheless.

"And you're not going to keep bugging me with any of your ridiculous chat-up lines?" He shook his head mutely. "You sure? Because if you think you might, get it out of your system now."

He thought for a while, racking his brains, before eventually coming out with, "Did it hurt when you fell?"

Roxanne sighed, anticipating what was coming next. "Fell from where?"

"Heaven," James replied, grinning. Roxanne grinned too; she couldn't help it. Somehow, his cheesy pick-up lines seemed less annoying than they had twenty-four hours ago.

"Will you then? Go to Hogsmeade with me, I mean." James looked adorably nervous, one leg jiggling up and down.

"...Go on then. I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall after breakfast. Don't be late."

"No sir!"