'What about Bridget for a girl and Royce for a boy?'
Blaine opened his eyes wearily, blinking against the harsh glare of the lamp light which was currently shining in his eyes. Kurt was surrounded by his usual mound of pillows, a notebook and pen resting on his lap whilst a baby name book was poised in his left hand.
'Baby Names a Billion' was emblazoned on the front cover of the book in Kurt's hand, in garish pastel colours. Funnily enough, the two inch thickness of the book indicated to Blaine that book was unlikely to actually contain a billion baby names.
Spread across the plush, king sized bed were many similar books with titles such as
'Baby Names For The New Generation' or 'Don't Hate Your Child'. Each cover displayed a multitude of infants, each one wearing a wide-eyed, bewildered stare.
Blaine rubbed his eyes wearily, staring up at an expectant Kurt whose hair was slightly dishevelled as if he'd been running his fingers through it in frustration. This was a rare occurrence as Kurt rarely let any cracks show within his cool demeanour, especially if doing so meant messing up his hair which was usually fashionably styled in an immaculate coif.
'Seriously, Kurt? Royce? We're bringing home a baby, not a classic car.'
Kurt sighed and Blaine watched him cross a name off a long, delicately scrawled list which appeared to cover several pages of the notebook. In typical Kurt fashion the list was segregated into several columns and his top twenty five selections were colour co-ordinated, ranging from preferred first and middle names, including acceptable nick names for each selection.
This wasn't the first time Kurt had waken Blaine up this week, in fact it was beginning to become a regular occurrence. Blaine would drift off to sleep after an extended day in the studio and would be suddenly shaken awake at midnight by his husband, demanding his opinion on such choices as Seraphina verses Hannah or Riley verses Lysander.
Kurt sighed and placed his notebook aside, leaning his head against Blaine's shoulder, their fingers intertwining over the duvet.
That's such a shame,' Kurt murmured as Blaine began to trace circles along his palm in long, lazy strokes, 'I really did like the name Royce.'
'Royce Anderson-Hummel?' Blaine asked, watching his husband's eyelids flutter closed, 'Far too formal, I'd feel strange every time I used his full name, as if I were speaking to my grandfather and not my son.'
Blaine took a moment to admire the way Kurt's eyelashes made long shadows against his face in the lamplight before cheekily adding,' Besides, you turned down my last baby name suggestion.'
Kurt's eyelids abruptly opened to fix Blaine with a withering glare that should have terrified him. It probably would if it weren't for the fact that he was so accustomed to observing Kurt Anderson-Hummel's infamous 'bitch' glare, whether it was directed at him or at some other poor, deserving soul.
'The last name you suggested was Zebulon. Over my dead body are you naming our child Zebulon.'
Blaine chuckled at the mixture of horror and ferocity within Kurt's expression as he leaned down to give his husband a soft, sweet kiss which spoke of years of love and familiarity.
'I thought it was a valid suggestion.'
Kurt reached up and lightly hit Blaine on the back of his head with the notebook containing dozens of preferred baby names.
'Anyone would think you haven't read 'Don't Hate Your Child',' he huffed, with a soft smile which ruined his attempt at a defiant expression.
'No, if I wanted to be really cruel, I would have an attempt at irony and name a daughter Gaylene,' Blaine joked.
Blaine wore a mischievous grin upon his face, which usually Kurt was only able to see.
He was rarely so carefree around anyone else, as much as he was with his husband. Around Kurt he could let down his self-imposed barriers of stifling formality in order to just be himself around someone who truly loved him.
Kurt groaned and sunk down further into the pillows, kicking 'Don't Hate Your Child' off the bed in the process.
'You wouldn't! We'd have to home school the poor child!'
'But it would build a sense of character within her,' said Blaine with a straight face, grinning once he saw Kurt's outraged expression.
With mock haughtiness Kurt turned away from Blaine and returned to the list, humming with approval whenever he found a name combination he liked or frowning with an adorably petulant expression whenever he found a name he particularly disliked within one of the baby name books.
Blaine simply watched his husband for several minutes, enjoying the endearing expressions which alternately came across his face. Eventually Kurt's expressions became more frustrated than anything else and Blaine was forced to take the notebook from Kurt's lap and gently turned his face towards him.
He knew that he would have to have this discussion with Kurt sooner or later and it seemed as if now was the time to do it. Kurt had become so absorbed in preparing for the baby that he wasn't protecting himself from the possibility of potential hurt if his dreams didn't work out perfectly. Blaine knew that more than anything else, Kurt had his heart set on the two of them raising a child together and would be devastated if his hopes didn't progress to full culmination.
Kurt would be such an amazing parent and his infinite amount of love and acceptance would mean the world to a child, struggling to find its way into the world. They both knew what it was like to be ostracised for their differences and there was no way that Blaine or Kurt would ever subject a child of their own to such treatment. Kurt had set so much store in this child that there was no room for negotiation, or any form of deviation from his set plans.
Kurt's wide, beautifully bewildered eyes tore at Blaine's heart as he prepared himself for what he needed to say next.
Making his voice gentle, Blaine cupped Kurt's face in his hands, forcing his him to make eye contact with his as he said, 'Kurt, sweetheart, you and I both know it's much too early to be making lists again. You remember what happened last time.'
Blaine watched Kurt studiously attempt to avoid his gaze, which he found somewhat difficult considering that way Blaine held Kurt's face tenderly within his strong hands.
The problem was they both remembered all too clearly what had occurred that last time they had attempted to adopt a child. Kurt, in particular, had spent a long time trying to erase the memory from his mind but recently it kept resurfacing in light of their current situation.
They each had heartache remaining from their previous failed adoption attempt, and it was this grief which still permeated every conversation about the baby, their rising hope still being strangled by their fears of continued disappointment.
Kurt dropped his gaze and glistening teardrops slowly began to form beneath the long, ebony lengths of his eyelashes. Blaine quickly brushed his thumb along Kurt's cheekbones, removing the teardrops with tender ease as they both recalled their previous heartbreak.
Just three months before the birth of the last child they attempted to adopt, the biological mother had abruptly pulled out of the adoption agreement. It seemed she had suddenly decided that she disapproved of the idea of her unwanted child being raised by two gay men, who coincidentally had all the love and support in the world, ready to give to her child.
She had said that she realised that the relationship Kurt and Blaine shared was unnatural, despite the fact that their marriage was legally binding, and that her church would disapprove if she allowed them to adopt her child.
The irony was that the church seemed to disapprove more about two gay men raising a child with love than it did that one of its fourteen year old parishioners was impregnated by the male, married Sunday school teacher.
The mother lived in an obscure area of Ohio, and her life was dictated by the opinions of others around her. So much so in fact, that she couldn't recognise what amazing parents Blaine and Kurt would be to her ostracised child.
Instead, once the baby was born it was adopted by a nice, straight couple from Oregon who would be more likely to raise the baby according to the biological mother's views, or so Kurt and Blaine had been told by the adoption agency.
The baby was a little boy. Kurt and Blaine would have named him Christopher Burt Anderson-Hummel, instead the straight couple named him Nathan Charles after their belated fathers.
Blaine distinctly remembered the night the adoption had fallen through. The adoption agency had called them both while they were at work, each going about their individual tasks throughout the day.
Kurt was called while he was in the workshop, finishing the final details on his latest design, animatedly talking to his co-designers about the upcoming adoption. Blaine received the devastating phone call while he was halfway through recording and editing a backing track within the recording studio.
Blaine recalled coming home that evening to their sprawling apartment to find Kurt alone in the baby's room, which he had finished decorating only a week prior, his slender frame shaking as he tried to control his sobbing. They both sat in the corner of the baby's room, holding each other as they allowed themselves to mourn the child they had lost due to the prejudice and hatred of others.
Manhattan sunlight cascaded through the window the next morning, highlighting the dust motes above what would have been Christopher's cot within his daffodil yellow room. By this time Kurt's tears had finally dried, although his eyes were red-rimmed and his throat was hoarse, and they had decided to make another application to the adoption agency in two months time.
Within this time period Kurt repainted the baby's room, transforming it into what he referred to as a 'sage green haven' and both Kurt and Blaine pretended they didn't get tears in their eyes whenever they saw a baby on the street or when shopping within grocery stores.
They were each others pillars of strength, as they always had been, and they managed to get through the pain and grief in order to try again. Now, lying here together in bed, surrounded by baby name and parenting books they were once again preparing for the arrival of their child.
Kurt hastily wiped his hands across his eyes, hating himself for still getting so upset about what had occurred over a year ago.
'I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't still be acting like this about it-'
Blaine interrupted Kurt abruptly by tilting his face upwards to look at him and giving Kurt a look of such love and tenderness that his oceanic eyes began to water once more. Blaine wiped the fresh tears from Kurt's ivory cheeks and gently pressed their foreheads together, wrapping his strong arms tightly around Kurt's slender frame, which was shivering from trying to repress tears.
'Hey, hey, don't be sorry. It's me here, you don't have to be sorry,' his arms tightened around him and Kurt lowered his tear streaked face onto Blaine's chest. 'You know you can let your guard down around me,' Blaine whispered softly into Kurt's ear,'I wanted him as much as you did.'
'I know that,' Kurt lifted his face to look into Blaine's hazel eyes, now a deep brown in the shadows of the lamp light, 'It's just that you've tried to be so strong about it for me and it still hurts so much.'
A fiercely loving expression came into Blaine's eyes as he gripped Kurt more tightly within his arms.
'You know you don't have to try to be strong around me. I'll love you however you react to something, for better or worse, remember?'
Kurt nodded shakily and blinked away his last, remaining tears as Blaine leaned down to press soft, comforting kisses along the length of Kurt's jawline.
'In don't think I'm strong enough,' Kurt whispered softly, pressing into Blaine's embrace, 'I don't think I can handle it if it happens again. We can't loose another child just for loving each other instead of who the world dictates we should love.'
'You, Kurt Anderson-Hummel,' Blaine replied in a clear, strong voice, 'are the strongest person I have ever met and I doubt anything will ever change that. Never forget, beautiful, whatever happens we'll face it together.'
Kurt nodded solemnly, his bright eyes intense as he leaned forward to kiss his husband, the man who had won his heart when was just sixteen and by some miracle of fate had been gracious enough to give Kurt his own in return.
The kiss was both sweet and passionate, an accumulation of melancholy joy, comfort and the fierceness of their love for one another. When they broke apart, both breathing slightly more heavily, Kurt placed his hands over Blaine's heart, relishing the warmth of his skin and the feeling of its steady beat. Blaine's heartbeat never failed to bring Kurt back to reality whenever he felt even remotely desolate. There was just something so comforting about pressing his hand or his head against Blaine's chest and feeling his heartbeat, and becoming so absorbed within another person that there were no boundaries, just a union of souls, if only for a short, tender moment.
Kurt shakily emitted a long sigh and closed his eyes in order to relish the moment more thoroughly. He wished moments like this would stretch forever, just the two of them, enveloped within their love for each other.
'We need to have hope,' Kurt murmured, the strength returning slowly to his voice as he continued, 'Without it I won't be able to get through this without breaking down. We've never let fear stop us before so why should we now?'
Blaine watched the determination filter into the angular planes of Kurt's face, mixing with the love and compassion already present within his opal eyes.
'I know that,' Blaine said, rubbing his hands gently along Kurt's shoulder bones, 'It's okay for you to have hope, I just don't want to see you get hurt again.'
Kurt attempted to shrug nonchalantly although he knew he wasn't fooling Blaine in the slightest.
'If I get hurt I'll just have to get through it,' he replied with false bravado, 'We both will. However, we can't let fear stop us from having hope. It's the only way we'll get through this, Blaine. A lot of things have happened to us in the past, people trying to stop us from living the lives we want, from being who we really are.'
Kurt paused momentarily, the ghosts of faded memories gliding through his mind, figures of both pain and redemption reappearing temporarily, before he continued once more.
'But we can't let fear stop us from going after we really want. If anything, the prejudice of others has shown us how strong we really are when we fight for what we want,' fierceness filled his voice and love entered his eyes, 'especially when we fight whatever we're facing together.'
Blaine smiled sweetly at Kurt, nodding his head in agreement, 'Then we become unstoppable.'
'Exactly,' Kurt bounced slightly on the bed, excitement shining through his expression as he watched the mixture of hope and adoration Blaine felt filter through onto his own face.
'Alright,' Blaine grinned as he pushed Kurt back into the softness of the pillows, placing greedy kisses along his neck and collarbone while his husband started to giggle, 'Where's that baby name book?'
Kurt crawled out from under his husband, still laughing, and stretched out his arms to reach the closest baby name book.
'Hmm,' Blaine intoned, flicking through the baby name book. He had an expression of mock captivation upon his face, donned specifically for the purpose of making Kurt laugh once more.
Upon being hit by Kurt, the book fell from Blaine's hands and landed on the bed, split face down. Blaine picked up the book and glanced at the first name on the page, surprise and interest immediately apparent upon his face.
Blaine looked at Kurt, who was still smiling at his husband's antics and showed him the baby name book.
'Hey, Kurt. What do you think about the name Tristan?'
A wide smile spread across Kurt's luminous face.
'Already on the list.'
Seven months later:
Kurt tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the elevator doors to open. He was juggling four bags of groceries, his messenger bag and a roll of fabric which was just waiting to be made into a fabulous, strapless cocktail dress. As soon as the 'ding' of the elevator echoed throughout the confined space Kurt hurried through the doors, breathing a sigh of relief once he entered the apartment he purchased with Blaine when they first got married.
He glanced around at the familiar décor before placing down his assortment of items on the slate kitchen counter. In the process of unpacking the groceries Kurt paused, listening to a familiar sound coming from the other end of the apartment.
A broad smile stretching his face, he practically skipped to the other end of the apartment, stopping right before he got to the door of his destination. Kurt softly pushed open the door and leaned against the frame, his breath catching at the sight exposed before his eyes.
Blaine stood in the centre of the room, leaning against the wooden cot, a tiny infant resting within his arms. The soft sounds of Blaine's singing filled the room, melding with the gentle breathing of the baby, their beautiful son.
Blaine looked up and shared a significant smile with Kurt who had tears slowly beginning to form within his eyes.
'What are you thinking?'
Kurt looked at Blaine and the warm, protective arms he had wrapped around Tristan, only five weeks old and clearly the most beautiful infant to ever grace the planet. After all they had been through, all they had suffered as teenagers; this was what they were fighting for. They were fighting for the chance to love one another and share moments such as this together.
A glistening tear slipped down Kurt's cheek as he reached out to take Tristan from Blaine and began to gently rock the baby back and forth. Kurt bent down to press a soft kiss to his sleeping son's forehead before returning his gaze to Blaine once more.
'I was thinking I've finally got everything I've ever hoped for.'