A/N: I'm feeling horribly sick and possibly have strep throat, so hopefully I'll get a lot of writing in. This just came to me. It will be chaptered, but probably not very long. I'm not entirely sure. Takes place after Born This Way, but becomes completely AU. This will be Puckurt, with some (not going anywhere) Klaine in the beginning, and a lot of Kinn (I refuse to say Furt) brotherly love.

Slight, slight, slight smut in the beginning. Kurt/Blaine smut, very easily avoided.


"So," Santana started, "have you and Blaine..?" She left the sentence unfinished, but, by the gesture she made, it was obvious what she meant.

"No, we haven't." Kurt blushed. It wasn't that they hadn't done anything, per se, they had actually done quite a bit, they just hadn't gone all the way yet.

"You're not ready." It wasn't a question.

"No. I mean, I-I love him," Kurt had never told any of his girls, even Mercedes, that he did, and Santana looked shocked, "and I do want.. him to be my first. I'm just not ready." The response Kurt expected from Santana was 'how damn long does it take to be ready if you're 'in love' with him?' He would never have been able to predict her answer.

"That's fine, and... I probably don't have to say this for your 'dapper Dalton gentlemen' but guys can be pigs sometimes, so just in case, you should never let him push you into doing things you aren't ready for, especially that. 'Kay?" Kurt must have been gaping at her rather unattractively, but since when was Santana sensitive and not completely sex-oriented?

"I... Who was your first time with?" Santana was known for being such a slut that she had given it up when she was thirteen, but Kurt didn't believe that.

"You've met Britt's older brother, right?" Brittany had an older brother and sister who were both incredibly bright and nice. Her sister was in college, but her brother was just a year older, a senior at Lima Vo-Tech.

"Aaron?" Santana nodded.

"He was my first, when I was fourteen. It was kind of stupid to do it with him, but I don't regret it. He's a lot nicer, and was a lot sweeter, than plenty of guys I've been with since." That also made Kurt wonder.

"How.. have you..?" Articulating questions like that was not his strongest suit.

"How many guys have I been with? A lot, probably more than your virgin brain can handle," Santana was just teasing. "Way too many," she added under her breath at the end.

"Do you regret it.. them?"

"Some of them I do, some I don't. I don't regret sleeping, on multiple occasions, with Puck. He's probably my best friend, besides Britt. But the faceless, nameless ones? I regret them." This was the first time Kurt had ever had a serious conversation with Santana, and he was surprised by how articulate and mature she was when she wasn't being a raving bitch. "And that's privileged information, got it Hummel?"

"Of course, Sanny."


A very similar, but much more frustrated, conversation was happening two hours away in the dorm shared by Wes and David.

"I can't believe you two haven't screwed yet," Wes was completely different outside of Warbler's rehearsals, more like a normal human.

"Me either. Like he says 'I love you,' and I love him too, mostly, but nothing!" Blaine was probably being overly dramatic about the issue, but he was too frustrated to care. He continued pacing around the small, permanently messy room as David and Wes stared at him from their respective beds.

"What was that adjective? 'mostly?' Please don't tell me you said it back if you don't feel the same." David groaned at Blaine's lack of answer.

"First of all, I'm pretty sure the way he just used mostly makes it an adverb. Second, you are an absolute idiot," Wes was less-than-supportive.

"I do love him. He's just so frustrating sometimes!" Blaine plopped down beside David.

"Which just means you're horny and he's not putting out?" Wes asked, amused.

"Pretty much."


It was the first time this week Kurt and Blaine had a chance to be alone with each other. As usual, Blaine had taken him out for a romantic dinner, and they were now back at Kurt's house, which was unusually empty. Blaine planned to take advantage of it.

"Oh, g-god, Blaine." Technically, Kurt didn't believe in God, but at this point he honestly didn't care. Blaine was entirely deep-throating him, and it felt amazing. "So close." Kurt froze when he felt Blaine's hand slide down lower, lightly brushing his perineum.

"B-Blaine, stop." To his credit, Blaine did stop and pulled off.

"What?" He sounded annoyed.

"I'm not ready." It was the first time he actually had to say that to Blaine, because he had never pushed before.

"Why the hell not?" Now, he sounded really irritated, and Kurt thought that was a little unfair. They had been dating for less than two months.

"I'm just not, okay?" Kurt tried to keep his tone neutral, but tendrils of anger slipped into the question unbidden.

"No, it's not okay!" Blaine was yelling now, and it completely shocked Kurt. His perfectly-collected-and-always-calm-with-a-happy-smile boyfriend was yelling at him for not being ready. "Either you want to be with me, completely, or you don't at all." That wasn't much of a choice.

"That's not fair. I said I'm not ready and you need to respect that."

"Yes or no?" Apparently, Blaine had lost all ability to be rational.

"Blaine, I-" Kurt hadn't even finished his sentence before Blaine was pulling his clothes back on from where they were scattered around the room. "Where are you going?" He demanded.

"Home. We're over." Kurt felt his heart shatter into a billion pieces with those three words.

"Blaine, baby, wait! I-I'm sorry, I just.." but Blaine wasn't waiting for an explanation.

"Don't 'Blaine, baby' me. We're over, Kurt." With that, he left, and all Kurt felt like doing was curling into a ball to cry. Thankfully, his common sense took over his motor skills, and he put his clothes back on, uncaring of the wrinkles, before slipping under his sheets.


Finn was the one who found him sobbing brokenly in his bed a few hours later. Later, Kurt would think he really was a good brother, but he was too devastated to care at the time. Finn just climbed into his bed, probably extremely uncomfortable, but wanting to help Kurt, and wrapped his arms around him. Tired of being strong for everyone, Kurt just cried into his shirt. It really was an awful colored shirt anyway, so he didn't feel bad for getting snot all over it.

It took a long time for Kurt to calm down. Heartbroken was just an expression, but Kurt literally felt a deep pain in his chest like someone had ripped off a piece of his heart and taken it with them. He suspected that person was Blaine.

Finn had been humming softly for a while, nonsensical melodies that either were songs Kurt was unfamiliar with, or things Finn was making up on the spot. Even so, when Kurt shakily asked "Sing to me?" not sure if he was over-stepping a line, Finn had the perfect song. Finn wasn't always the brightest person, but his compassion for others well made up for it.

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now

Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

It wasn't the best performance Finn had ever done, but it sounded good, it made Kurt think of happier times and feel better, and it was enough that Kurt fell asleep in his arms before the end of it.


His dreams, unfortunately, were not as nice to him as Finn. They were filled with memories of Blaine, good ones, and interspersed by the replay of what had just happened.

An moment of singing Silly Love Songs at the Valentine's Day Lonely Hearts Club Dinner, which Blaine occasionally jokingly called 'the first time I told you I loved you,' followed by Blaine's face twisted with anger as he yelled at Kurt. It seemed like they were two entirely different people. The Blaine that serenaded him with Teenage Dream (and Wes had informed him it was a serenade, Blaine made them change the song and everything. How he had done this, Kurt had no idea) and the Blaine that broke up with him a few hours ago. He much preferred the Blaine who knew his coffee order and got ridiculous crushes on guy's with '70s hairstyles and wore sweaters with awkwardly-placed buttons to the Blaine that pressured him to have sex.

It was almost ironic, what had happened with Blaine today, and what happened only the week before they got together. That Blaine had been so sweet and understanding about his lack of experience and offered to help explain things to him. Kurt hoped that maybe the Blaine who kissed him over Pavarotti's casket would return. Maybe he was just frustrated. One of the things the two had in common was their dramatic tendencies to over-react.


Finn was uncertain, for many reasons. One, he was currently holding his gay little brother, who had fallen asleep. The first thing he thought of was one of those LGBT commercials Rachel had shown him about the different people, the non-gay people, who homophobia effected. The quote was something like 'I am the sister who holds her gay brother through the long, tear-filled nights.' Scarily accurate. Kurt had certainly cried a lot, and seemed to be crying a little bit now, even in his sleep.

Part of Finn thought the situation was a little weird, and wanted to leave. Another part of Finn thought weird was okay because Kurt had been really upset, and wanted to stay. Finn wasn't sure which part of him was smarter. Would it be more awkward if he stayed or went?

Second, what the hell had happened? Kurt had been a little inco... inca... he couldn't really form a sentence that made sense. Something with Blaine, obviously, as they had been out on a date that night, but he had no idea what it could be. The two were ridiculously mushy, and said they were in love all the time. What went wrong?


When Kurt had woken up, which wasn't until the next morning, he had awkwardly stuttered apologies and then fled to the shower. Finn could almost hear him singing (his room was well sound-proofed), and the melody sounded pretty depressing. Finn hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, possibly because he spent the entire night with a murmuring Kurt, and possibly because ideas of what happened were buzzing around his brain too fast to let him fall asleep. He felt a bit like a zombie.

Puck was on his way over, but Finn didn't really care what he looked like to Puck. What he worried about was Kurt's reaction to Puck's presence. After football championships, he and Puck had been hanging out more like they used to, but Kurt was at Dalton then. Judging by last night, he wasn't going to be in a great mood, no matter how much coffee he drank. Most likely, he would be either extremely angry, like fire-breathing-burn-down-the-house-and-kill-Puck angry, or extremely depressed. Finn wasn't sure which one would be worse.

"Hey, dude." Puck let himself in and sat in the chair next to him.

"Hey," Finn responded, still worrying.

"You look like hell. What's up?" That was Puck's way of saying he cared, Finn guessed.

"If I knew, I would tell you." Possibly not a true statement.

"How can you not know what's bothering you?" Puck would, hopefully, understand the need to take care of a little sibling. Either that, or he was just about to be called gay in a million ways.

"Didn't get a lot of sleep last night, Kurt was talking."

"Wait, you slept with Hummel? Dude, what the hell?"

"I didn't sleep with my little bro, Puck, that's gross. He was all upset because of something that happened with Blaine, and I was comforting him, and he kind of fell asleep on me. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave or not, so I just stayed with him," Finn blurted out the explanation quickly.

"What happened with he and Blaine?" Apparently, Kurt had become Finn's little brother in Puck's eyes, so spending the night with him was non-gay. Sometimes he wondered how Puck's mind worked, but he probably didn't want to know.

"That's what I don't know."

"Have they.." Puck made a rather rude gesture with his finger and fist.

"Dude! That's gross!" Did Puck seriously expect him to know that?

"Just answer the question, Hudson," Puck said with a roll of his eyes.

"I don't think so. How am I supposed to know?" Why would he know that?

"Maybe he talks to you about this shit, or something. I don't know. But I bet if they haven't, it was about that." Puck's expression hardened. "If that asshole tried anything, I'll fuck him up."

"Why?" Puck looked at him like he was making no sense. "No, I mean I'd be there with you, but why would you defend Kurt?" Puck didn't even like Kurt.

"You'd defend Sarah. He's your little bro, and I already promised to protect him."

"From Karofsky, not Blaine. Whatever. I'm scared to find out." How could he ask Kurt something like that, especially if the answer was yes?

"Allow me." Puck made to go upstairs.

"Wait, dude, he might not even like that you're here."

"Fine. I can wait."


Kurt felt awful. Not only were there traces of mascara and the sticky residue of tears all over his face, but he hadn't slept well, and it still felt like he was missing a piece of his heart. Feeling the hot water beat over his back, he started to sing.

The flowers you gave me
are just about to die
when I think about
what could've been
it makes me want to cry

The sweet words you whispered
didn't mean a thing
I guess our song is over
as we begin to sing

Could've been so beautiful
could've been so right
could've been my lover
every day of my life

could've been so beautiful
could've been so right
I'll never hold what could've been
on a cold and lonely night

The members of our lovin'
still linger in the air
like the faded scent of your roses
they stay with me everywhere

Every time I get my hopes up
they always seem to fall
still what could've been is better than
what could never be at all

Could've been so beautiful
could've been so right
could've been my lover
every day of my life

could've been so beautiful
could've been so right
I'll never hold what could've been
on a cold and lonely night

How could I hold what could've been
on a cold and lonely night?

The song fit well, though Tiffany wasn't one of his favorite artists. They were young and in love and everything could have been so perfect. Tears started to track again down his cheeks. Hadn't he cried enough for a lifetime? No more tears, he promised himself mentally, knowing that he couldn't keep it. Blaine had been his everything when he needed someone the most, and now he was gone.


When Kurt padded down the stairs, hair half-combed and messy, wearing a loose McKinley High shirt and sweat pants, he almost shrieked when he saw they had company. There was no way anyone could mistake the mohawk. Noah Puckerman was standing completely at ease in their kitchen. Kurt had clearly missed a lot while he was at Dalton. The sharp pain in his heart when he thought that made it seem like a good idea to not think about any memories related to his ex.

"Good morning, Finn," he said, slightly shy. It had been a little awkward waking up in Finn's arms, despite how many times he had dreamed of exactly that. "Puckerman."

"Well, someone's in a good mood," Puck said sarcastically. "What's up your ass, Hummel, besides Blaine's cock?" Finn's expression when he said that was almost worth the painful memory it brought.

"I can see how girls fall in bed with you. Are you always such a charmer?" Food didn't seem to be worth the effort, but if he became one of those people that fell apart, lost weight, and failed classes when he was broken up with, Mercedes would never forgive him. Yogurt seemed to be a good idea, except for the fact that Puck was leaning against the refrigerator.

"Ouch." Puck didn't even bother with a comeback. Turning to Finn, who was still a little nauseous-looking, he said, "I've missed those sharp comments. Even Santana's not as much of a bitch as your little bro is in the morning."

"Never say that in front of Santana." His face would be mince meat if he did. "Could you move from in front of the refrigerator?"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you how to say please?" Puck said without thinking. Shit. Kurt looked even less happy.

"Puckerman, move now." Puck listened, if only because he knew he would be torn to pieces if he didn't. Kurt pulled out a yogurt and moved to the living room, clearly trying to ignore the two in the kitchen. Puck was determined otherwise.

"So, seriously, what's up?" Puck could make an attempt to be nice to the boy.

"If it was any of your business, I would have told you." Kurt's voice was clipped and cold.

"Well, I'd say it's kind of my business, considering that you're practically my little bro too," the horrified look Kurt gave him made him want to laugh, but it would ruin the speech," and it's definitely Finn's business."

"I am not by any means your little brother, and Finn certainly doesn't want to hear it, as concerned as he may be."

"So it is then?" Puck sat down on the couch next to Kurt and stared at him expectantly.

"So what is what?" Puck's question didn't make any sense, as usual.

"Whatever happened between you and Blaine is about sex," Kurt's expression made him think he had gotten that one right, "that would be the only reason I could think of that Finn wouldn't want to hear it."

"I've said this before, and I'm sure that due to your thick-brained persistance, I will have to say this again, it is none of your business, Puckerman."

"But I'm right." Puck smirked at the obviously flustered countertenor.

"Perhaps." Kurt blushed slightly.

"Well, as you probaby know, I'm good with boyfriend problems, I'm usually the cause of them," sometimes talking to Kurt felt exactly like talking to Rachel, so Puck unintentionally mirrored his words to her, "so what's wrong?" If he tried anything, I'm going to kill him, he added mentally, but he had a feeling Kurt wouldn't like the thought.

"Well you don't have to worry Puckerman, because he's not my boyfriend anymore." That was not what Puck wanted to hear.

"If he tried anything, I'm going to fuck him up," Puck promised.

"Although he is not quite the man I thought he was, he is certainly not enough of a barbarian to have tried.. anything of that nature, especially after-" Kurt cut that thought short. "Don't worry, Puck, he broke up with me." Kurt had to resist the urge to cry after saying that. No more tears.

"Especially after?" Kurt's eyes looked a little wet, so it probably wasn't best to ask more questions, but since when had Puck made the best decisions?

"That's definitely none of your, or Finn's," he directed towards the boy in the kitchen who was obviously listening, "business."

"Fine. Don't tell me. Instead, tell me why he broke up with you." Kurt ignored him for a few minutes, finishing his yogurt and staring at the blank TV screen. Puck didn't push though. Kurt was amazingly good at disguising his feelings, and he had to be hurting right about now, so pushing him didn't seem like the best idea.

"Because I wouldn't put out for him," Kurt murmured under his breath, picking up his empty yogurt container and moving to put it into the kitchen trash.

"What was that?" Now Puck was pushing a little, but he didn't hear that, honest!

"He broke up with me," Kurt began at a louder volume, "because I wouldn't put out for him." Oh shit. Puck had obviously started the waterworks again. "Excuse me," Kurt whispered before racing back up the stairs.


A/N: So this chapter has a lot of short sections, and I apologize, but I'm really just setting everything up. I like songs, and this is Glee, so there will probably be at least one song per chapter. :)

Songs used in this chapter:

'I'll Stand By You' by The Pretenders

'Could've Been' by Tiffany.

Reviews are Love.