It starts with fingers dug into hips, quiet words, and screaming thoughts.
"Oh God Oh God Oh God. Beck, this is wrong".
Too bad it's only in his head.
Out loud, he moans and gives in.
Robbie dies inside when he turns in the hallway the morning after…well, you know.
Beck and Jade are kissing in front of the lockers; not atypical in any way, but it still hurts and Robbie feels like he can't breathe.
They break apart.
"What are you staring at, puppet freak?" Jade asks with a murderous look in her eyes.
Of course it's there; Beck is hers and always will be. He's not Robbie's; Robbie has no right to Beck.
"Please don't hurt me, Jade! I wanted…" he looks at Beck in the eyes and Beck's look is one of chilled desperation.
Keep it a secret, Robbie. No one can ever find out, he said, as he got dressed last night.
"I wanted to know if you guys could help me find a date for prom."
"Yeah right, Shapiro. No girl would ever want to go out with you."
With that, she grabs Beck's hand and leads him away.
He closes his eyes and counts to ten, resisting the urge to scream.
No girl would ever want to go out with you plays over and over again, like a broken record, in his head for the rest of the day.
Finally, he admits to himself: No girl wants to, but a boy would want to. Beck wants to.
He can hear the other, hidden part of his brain (synonym: Rex) saying Beck doesn't want to date you. He just wants to fuck you.
Fuck you, Rex.
Beck. Beck. Beck.
He can't speak again because Beck's tormenting and pleasing him all at the same time.
It's the fifth time this week.
When it's over, Robbie turns his head and asks:
"Why are you doing this?"
"Doesn't everyone need release at some time?"
"So why not snort something? Why not smoke? Why not drink?"
Really, he's asking: "Why me?"
Beck flicks his nose. "This is what I needed. But it can't ever come out. Jade would kill you, and then tie me up for the rest of my life."
"I understand perfectly, Beck."
And Robbie turns over in bed and knows it won't last.
It ends with the release of fingertips, words shouted, and quiet thoughts.
"I need more than this, Beck. You're taking advantage of me. I can't handle this anymore."
"You need to back off, Robbie! You knew I was doing this just to blow off steam. I love her. It's always been her. It will never be anyone but her."
Robbie's hands are shaking when he screams "FUCK YOU. I could have loved you, Beck. You could have loved me. You never gave me that chance."
Quietly, Beck says:
"You knew it was just sex. Nothing more. Nothing less. Now leave."
Robbie leaves, and he cries and cries and cries into his pillow once he gets home.
Ten years later, Mr. and Mrs. Beck Oliver throw a mini reunion party for their friends from Hollywood Arts.
They got married the day Jade turned eighteen.
Robbie comes alone.
Everyone's so happy; Tori and André are married and expecting, Cat met a nice guy (Nick, Robbie thinks his name is).
Robbie's alone. Robbie's not happy.
He's still miserable about the events of ten years earlier.
He doesn't look Beck in the eyes for the whole night.
Beck walks him outside.
Robbie swallows his pride and tears.
They shake hands, and Robbie drives off.
A/N: For Emma (seemslikeaporno). This is my first time writing Beck/Robbie, so review and let me know what you think! Title credit goes to Adele's "Rolling in the Deep".