Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the characters, not the show, not even the pairing.

A/N: This story came about because of FruitCase's EPIC Romy fic, "Sakura Yume" which is awesome, and should be read immediately following this one. (Following only because it is about 60 chapters long, and that would probably take longer to read than my measly little one-shot and I don't want to wait that long.)

ANYway, the pairing is Pheonix/Apocalypse, which was one of the most hilarious things I've ever read, even if it never actually happened in Sakura Yume. I hope you enjoy my foray into madness. I know I did.

Once upon a time, there was a mighty ruler named Apocalypse. His kingdom was great, and his power greater still. He was a mutant, of many talents. He was feared by all, and challenged by no one.

And yet, for all his power, and glory, and success, Apocalypse was not happy. He was very lonely in his powerful life, and wished to find someone to share it with. And though there was certainly no shortage of women, his power and reign of tyranny caused all of the women he might have wooed to fear and refuse him. Of course, he could simply persuade (and/or mindwipe) a female, but he didn't want a slave. He wanted a mate, someone to care for him and share with him his glory and tell him how amazing he was.

Apocalypse wanted a wife.

He had just decided to find one for himself, someone who didn't know him as a tyrant, when he was captured, drained of his power, and stuck inside a pyramid for centuries.

By the time he finally got out, Apocalypse was not a happy mutant.

But he was still looking for a woman.

One month after Apocalypse's defeat:

"Oh my gosh."

Jean glanced towards the professor to see if he'd heard her errant thought. She breathed an internal sigh of relief as she realized that he was respecting her privacy as usual, and intentionally blocking his mind from incoming information. Thank God.

You betcha.

Mentally, she glared. Shut up. Who are you, and why are you in my head? More importantly, why are you thinking… that about Apocalypse?

The voice, clear and smooth as silk answered, My name is Phoenix. I am a separate entity that has taken up residence inside your body.

Jean's mouth dropped open (figuratively). You mean you're taking over my body? she shrieked.

Phoenix laughed. Not yet. For now, I'm content to let you grow up. Become even more powerful. And then… then I shall take over your body.

Jean shook her head. You can't do that.

Phoenix laughed again. You can't stop me.

I'll tell the professor.

Please do. I've been dying to be introduced to him.

Jean scowled. Just for that, I won't introduce you at all.

How childish. The voice was amused.

Jean leaned her head back against her beach chair and closed her eyes. Are you really not going to go away?

The voice was oddly gentle. No, dear. I'm not going away.

Jean sighed. Then will you please tell me why the HECK you think Apocalypse was "hot"?

We have much in common.

Jean groaned. You have got to be kidding me.

Twelve months later:

"Jean? JEAN!"

The red-haired woman-her hair somehow brighter and more incredibly red than ever before-turned to Scott and smiled a strange smile. It was a worldly smile, the smile of a woman much older than Jean Grey, one who has seen and done things Jean Grey couldn't have imagined.

"Jean is gone, Scott," she said, voice sliding over his ear drums like silk over flesh. "Only Phoenix remains."


"Yes." Her voice was patiently amused. "And now, I am leaving."


Her voice and face-Jean's face-grew thoughtful. "I'm not entirely sure. I do know that there was someone I've been meaning to look up…"

Three months after Phoenix took possession of Jean Grey's body:

"My dear, you must come and see this!"

Phoenix stood up and stretched lazily, then wandered over to the balcony of the palace apartment. "What is it, darling?"

His face was lit up in childish glee, his brown skin bare from the waist up and begging for her hands. "Look what I've done!"

She looked out over the grounds. Which were suddenly… rearranged. She definitely didn't remember that fountain being there yesterday.

"You did this?" she breathed.

En Sabah Nur's eyes were shining with inhuman glee. "Yes. Do you like it?"

Her response was to pull him down and kiss him.

He watched his wife as she danced irrepressibly around the kitchen-which she never actually used-singing something under her breath.

"Phoenix, darling."

She stopped and turned to smile at him. "Yes?"

He smoothly stalked forward until she was in arms reach and then placed his large hands on her hips. "Today, you and I are going to take over the world."

Her green eyes danced. "All in one day?"

His own eyes flashed. "Yes."

She raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Alright then. What did you have in mind?"

He grinned.

A few weeks later:

"Is it too much to ask that you simply obey me?"

She stood before him, nearly a whole head shorter and seemingly frail, glaring up at him with eyes of green ice. "I. Do not. Obey."

He gripped her throat suddenly, raising her off of the floor to his eye level. "Don't you?"

Unafraid, not even gasping for breath, she stared him down. "No. I don't."

He dropped her and turned away. "You, my dear, are entirely too independent for your own good."

"I married you. I'm obviously many things too for my own good."

He growled, and stormed away.

She came to him later, sliding effortlessly into his lap as he sat on his rather ostentatious throne.

"Are you still angry with me, Apocalypse?"

He looked up at her exasperatedly. "You know very well that I am not, you infernal woman."

She laughed, a throaty, delicious laugh. "And how would I know that?"

He stroked her long red hair. "You read my mind when you think I'm not paying attention."

"This is true," she admitted shamelessly, nuzzling his neck. He gave in and wrapped his arms around her.

"En Sabahhhhh…" she drew out his name fiercely. "Do you love me?"

He raised one tattooed eyebrow. "Do you really need to ask?"

"I want you to say it," she breathed against his skin. He inhaled sharply.

"I love you, Phoenix."

She smiled at him. "There. That wasn't so hard was it?"

Three years later:

"Is the little girl still there?"

Phoenix turned to her husband, puzzled. "What?"

He watched her intently. "The little girl. The one who lived in your body before you… moved in."

"Jean Grey," the Phoenix stated. He cocked his head. "That was her name?"

"Yes." She closed her eyes and let memories sweep over her. Jean's life, the X-men, Scott, the first time she saw Apocalypse… her eyes snapped open.

En Sabah Nur was watching her. "I don't want to talk about her," she declared fiercely, kissing him hard. He shrugged, not really caring, and kissed her back.

Weeks later:

Encountering the little X-man was… strange. She used to know this girl… or Jean did. They were… friends of a sort.

The man with her now, he was a different story. Jean definitely saw him as the enemy. His red and black eyes swept over her, and she instantly knew why. Anyone seeing those eyes for the first time would think him an enemy.

Except for this girl-Rogue, her mind supplied-obviously. She was standing much too closely to him for him to be her enemy.

"Jean?" her voice was incredulous.

"I am Phoenix," she replied.

Rogue and the man-Gambit- exchanged glances. "Right. Um. What are you doing here?"

She waved a hand. "En Sabah Nur and I are spending a few weeks on a second honeymoon. This is a very high-class hotel."

Rogue had turned to Gambit and muttered, "Dang it, now we'll have to find some other place for our honeymoon," before the actual meaning of Phoenix's words caught up with her.

"You… you and…" she gasped. Gambit's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hair. "Apocalypse?"

Phoenix frowned. "Is it so surprising? We are both attractive, powerful beings who happen to have common interests and a strong emotional bond. Now if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my husband."

She swept off, and Remy barely managed to hold back his laughter until after she was gone.

Rogue glared at him. "How can you be laughing? Jean's married to Apocalypse! How did he… how on earth did they…agh!"

"Roguey," he chuckled. "Chere, t'ink 'bout it. Jean. Is married. T' Apocalypse."

She thought about it. Her lips twitched. "Well. When ya say it like that…"

10 years after Phoenix took possession of Jean Grey's body:

"It's our anniversary, darling."


"And I thought we would do something special."


"We should go wreak havoc on unsuspecting mortals, or visit the little X-men, or… you aren't listening to me at all are you?"

Phoenix shook her red hair away from her face and grinned up at his bronze-skinned, exasperated expression. "Nope."

"What a gorgeous present," she drawled. He smirked. "Yes, well, I try."

"Really, dear, a whole pyramid? You shouldn't have."

He slid up behind her and pressed a kiss to her head. "No, I really should have. A queen should have a proper pyramid."

"How nice," she said dryly. "To remind us of our eventual demise."

"Hmmm. Not you."

She smiled a little then. "No, not me." And then she kissed him.

Theirs was a relationship forged initially out of mutual desire and appreciation of power. And then it became a minor competition, to see who was truly more powerful. But then, they realized it didn't matter, because they'd each met their match, and while neither liked losing, when it was the other who was the winner, they never minded quite so much.

And so they fell in love, based on common interests, fueled by passion, and sealed in affection. They grew… well, not old, but… tanner together. Two immortals, locked in an eternal embrace, married in the eyes of all who cared, and many who didn't. They attempted several times to take over the world, but every time became distracted by each other, and so never succeeded.

The X-men moved on without their Jean. Scott healed eventually, most likely due to the arrival of one Emma Frost at the mansion. Logan raged for awhile at Apocalypse, but calmed down as Remy and Rogue got him to see the amusing side of the whole thing. The professor blamed himself. Ororo sighed. Kitty was indignant that Phoenix hadn't invited them to the wedding.

En Sabah Nur and his firey wife didn't care. They lived for each other, for world domination (when they would get around to it), and for their love. Everything else was so much plasma.

A/N: This fic is dedicated to FruitCase, the inventor (as far as I know) of the pairing. Live long and prosper, girl. I hope you like it. Oh, and there's a minor Romy cameo as in all of my Evo fics that aren't about them specifically. Enjoy.