113 - New Years, New Fears

***The following episode is rated TV- MA S L A as it contains material more graphic than it usually presents in it's TV-14 L format. Reader's discretion is advised.***

PREVIOUSLY ON WOODSBORO HIGH:
"Jill found a new squeeze in Patrick."

"Chelsea informed Kirby of who the mystery man was."

"Prichard made a good impression on Kirby on their first date."

"But left Charlie out in the cold."

FADE IN:
INT. ROY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Roy opens the door, drying his curly hair with a towel - - Charlie and Robbie stand there, Charlie with a huge case of Bud Light. Charlie makes his way in, passing Roy and Robbie shrugs to Roy.

ROY
So uh... since when did we drink?

CHARLIE
(slamming down the case on the table)
Tonight. Tonight we drink because I hear it's a very good
remedy to drowning out all our sorrows.

ROBBIE
He's been talking like Edgar Allan Poe all day.

CHARLIE
I HAVE NOT, YOU FOUL BEAST!

ROBBIE
See?

ROY
Well Charlie, buddy, let me tell you that alcohol is
in fact a depressant. Meaning that sure, you'll feel good
under it's effects in the current time but after that all
goes by - - it's gonna hit you double time.

CHARLIE
That's why I brought lots and LOTS of beer.

Roy looks at Robbie, concerned for Charlie. Robbie can do nothing but shrug again.

ROY
Well in that case, I shall call up some ladies.

CHARLIE
NO! No women! That is the cause of all this.

ROY
So you're telling me, you want to spend New Years Eve
shit ass drunk with two other guys?

CHARLIE
Correct.

ROY
Not in my house, Charlie. That doesn't occur in my
house. You know what happens in this house? Only joyous
occasions... with females... that have boobs... and preferably
a vagina. Believe me, I've been there when it was otherwise.

Robbie crunches his eyebrows and flinches. Roy begins making his way upstairs.

ROY
I'll call Stephie Chan for you. And for Robbie, I'll call Niley.

ROBBIE
I already tried. She said she's going out with Chelsea tonight.

ROY
Okay... back up plan than... uuuuhhhh... oh, I know! What was
that creepy girl's name in Cinema Club?

ROBBIE
Chantelle?

ROY
Yes! Her! I'm gonna invite her over for you and for me, hm, I
don't know, I'm feeling lucky so I'll invite maybe two or three
lucky ladies to share a bit of the Popperman.
(starts up the stairs and stops again)
Popperman, good nickname, or no?

CHARLIE
NO!

ROY
Just checkin'.

CUT TO:
EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
Niley is at the pump, filling up the Mustang with gas. She waits patiently and Chelsea makes her way out of the interior and comes to the car, a giant brown bag in her arms. Niley watches innocently.

NILEY
What's that?

CHELSEA
Alcohol! We're getting FUCKED UP tonight! Hopefully
in more ways than one.

Chelsea winks and Niley seems confused.

NILEY
How did you get that?

CHELSEA
I promised some guy inside a hand job so he bought it for me.

NILEY
Well what happened after you didn't produce the hand job?

CHELSEA
... who says I didn't?

Chelsea throws the bag in the car.

NILEY
Ew! And that was quick! You were in there for like 3 minutes!

Chelsea rises, leaning on the top of the car with her arms crossed.

CHELSEA
I got the kung fu grip, what can I say? I wanted tonight to
be special for us, c'mon! I mean, surely guys will be buying
us drinks left and right but we will have our own little stash
back at the hotel.

Chelsea can see Niley is still disgusted.

CHELSEA
Niley, I was just joking about the hand job!

NILEY
(beat)
I don't drink, Chelsea.

Chelsea makes her way around the car to the pump.

CHELSEA
Tonight you do! We're gonna go to Los Angeles and we
are gonna have ourselves one helluva time. Just you and me,
buddy! Like the good ol' times!

NILEY
... we never really hung out before.

CHELSEA
Don't be so negative.
(sees the gas price raising)
50 bucks, Jesus! Stop pumping, I'm not paying anymore than
that. Or actually, just filler up and I'll go find that guy and
give him a round two so he can pay for the gas, HA!

NILEY
Oh God, NO! That's okay, I'll just stop it. This should be enough
anyway. I don't know why I agreed to coming with you.

Niley begins taking the pump out and putting the cap back on.

CHELSEA
Because I'm a manipulative bitch who his moping and when I
mope, I drag other people down into my binge drinking and
fucking random people.

NILEY
Yeeeeeeah, that doesn't sound too appealing. You know who
might like that, though? Jenny. You should ask her.

CHELSEA
Jenny's boring, you're fun! That's why I asked you! I'm only
half joking about the binge drinking and fucking anyway. I
promise to you, my downward spiral caused by depression won't
be that epic.

They start walking towards the car.

NILEY
... so why are you depressed anyway?

CHELSEA
Uh uh, we haven't drank yet and I don't spill unless inebriated.
C'mon, let's go. We got an hour drive, plus traffic and finding
our hotel all in front of us.

They both get in.

NILEY
(worried)
Okaaaay.

CUT TO:
INT. JILL'S ROOM - DAY
Kirby twirls in Jill's chair, almost like a happy school girl. Jill straightens her hair but looks at Kirby suspiciously.

JILL
So you guys are together now?

KIRBY
Yes!

JILL
Oh God... Kirby, of all people, why him?

KIRBY
He's going to prove to you tonight that he's worthy of me, okay?
He knows he's been a dick and he wants to make up for it.

JILL
So Charlie seemed upset?

KIRBY
Yeah but I think he'll get over it. Roy took it pretty easy though.

JILL
Hm... in middle school, I always assumed Charlie liked me for
some reason. And then when I introduced the both of you
in high school, it finally seemed like he was finally starting to
like you so I all I could think was, "THANK YOU."

KIRBY
Jill! That's so mean!

JILL
It sounds mean but I don't mean it in a mean way. I don't see him in
that light so I thought maybe you would and he could start focusing
on you a bit more. But now that we're both taken, maybe he'll finally
move on. For the better, you know? For him. I love Charlie, I want
the best for him and - - sure, I feel bad but now he'll be able to fully
move on into the world and not be so clung onto us without that
"I'm being nice because I want you" vibe.

KIRBY
You know, there was a moment there where I kinda thought he was
cute but he never made a move so...

JILL
Exactly! If you're gonna give off that energy to girls at least
pursue them in a forseeable fashion. It was starting to get awkward
but ofcourse, I didn't wanna tell him that and we're friends so I didn't
wanna break his heart.

KIRBY
Anyway... you excited for the double date tonight?

JILL
God, that is - - so weird hearing you say stuff like that.

KIRBY
I know but I can't help it...
(whispers)
He makes me tingle.

JILL
That's - - cute. Did you want any help with your make up anything?

KIRBY
Why? Does it look bad?

JILL
No, it's fine! I just wanted to know if you wanted something a
bit extra but you look great. I think I kinda like the new Kirby.

KIRBY
What was wrong with the old one?

JILL
Oh, let me count thy ways - -

Kirby gets up and play tackles Jill, hugging her from the side. She takes out her camera and they both smile.

KIRBY
Facebook!

They picture snaps.

JILL
That reminds me, I gotta ditch my Myspace. Nobody uses
that thing anymore! So bizarre! Hmph!

The door bell rings.

KIRBY
That's them!

Kirby runs out the door and heads down the stairs. Jill smiles, happy that she's happy.

CUT TO:
EXT. PARTY - NIGHT
Patrick and Prichard's car drive up to the curb, both parking behind each other. The party at the house is already rocking, the music can be heard echoing several streets over. Prichard exits his car and runs over to the passenger door, letting Kirby out. Patrick and Jill stay in their car for just a moment longer, Jill fixing her lip gloss.

PATRICK
(smiles)
Baby, you don't need that. You've already impressed me.

JILL
Become a girl and talk to me about that again.

PATRICK
I'm good.

Patrick exits the car, Jill getting out also. They meet up with Prichard and Kirby, Prichard holding Kirby from behind.

PRICHARD
You guys ready?

PATRICK
You know it!

The two high-five and all four make their way up the street towards the party.

EXT. PARTY'S PATIO - CONTINUOUS
All four enter, making their way through the crowd. Immediately, Jill spots Jenny - - sitting on some guys lap on a hammock.

JILL
Jenny?

Jenny gets up, nearly tripping over her own feet. It's obvious she's pretty hammered.

JENNY
JILL! You're here!

Jenny hugs Jill big.

JILL
Are you drunk?

JENNY
Nooooo, PSHHHH, I had like one Wine Cooler.
(whispers)
Don't tell my mom.

JILL
(nervous smiles)
You're drunk and who is that guy?

JENNY
Bobby. Oh wait! No, his name was... Richard. Fuck! That's
not it either.

JILL
Oh my God.

JENNY
Heyyyy, is this your boyfriend?

Jenny pokes Patrick in the arm. He's a bit uncomfortable but he smiles politely anyway.

JILL
(nervous chuckles)
Yeah but no need to introduce, you'll just forget in the
morning anyway!

PATRICK
Jill, it's okay. Hi, I'm Patrick.

Patrick shakes Jenny's hand.

JENNY
Jenny! Not Jennifer! Just Jenny!

PATRICK
Oh, alright. Got it.

JILL
Patrick, I hate to ask this of you but can we take her home?

JENNY
What? The party's just getting started!

The entire crowd "woos!"

JILL
Well I don't feel like babysitting you for the next 4 hours.

JENNY
Don't be such a fag hag, c'mon!

JILL
A fag hag? Okay, Patrick, you get one arm, I got the other.

Patrick quickly gets to it, throwing her arm over his shoulder and Jill doing the other.

JENNY
I'm not drunk, I swear!

JILL
Sorry guys, we'll be right back!

KIRBY
No problem!

Patrick leads Kirby deeper into the party and she happily follows.

CUT TO:
INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
Chelsea and Niley make their way in - - Chelsea already appears drunk, dancing to the music. Niley seems nervous, unsure of what to do.

NILEY
You really didn't have to flash your boobs so we could get in.
You can keep some dignity after this night, you know?

CHELSEA
Oh, what's the fun in that? C'mon, your turn! Flash the bartender
so we can get some drinks!

Chelsea grabs Niley's hand, pulling her down to the bar.

NILEY
(being pulled out of frame)
I don't think he wants to see 14 year old tittieeees!

Chelsea pushes their way through the crowd, Niley shorly behind. Chelsea makes it to the bar and whistles, loud enough to penetrate through the music. Everyone at the bar holds their ears in pain.

CHELSEA
Garcon! Two for me and my lady friend.

The bartender makes his way over.

BARTENDER
That's 13.50.

CHELSEA
Oh, c'mon. You can hook it up, right?

BARTENDER
13.50, miss.

CHELSEA
Look, let's say we settle this - - 13.50 out back, yeah? I have
amazing hands... or do you like tongue a bit more?

NILEY
Chelsea, c'mon!

BARTENDER
I'm calling security.

Two guys standing there slap down the money. This is CHUCK RICCI with his friend ALBERT SNOW, both obvious frat boys in their typical, rich preppy but party boy clothes.

CHUCK
Give the ladies what they want. I'm buyin'.

The bartender slaps down the two bottles and they make their way out of the bar madness, Chuck and Albert following behind.

CHELSEA
Oh, thank you good sir. What's your name?

CHUCK
Chuck. That's my friend Albert.

CHELSEA
Hi Alberrrt, this is my friend Niley.

NILEY
(nervously waves)
Hi. I'm 14.

CHELSEA
AH HA! She's just kidding, she's 17. Turning 18 tomorrow.
So awesome, right?

ALBERT
(watching Niley like a wolf)
Amazing, I'd say.

Niley shivers, creeped out and Chelsea finally hands her the beer.

CHELSEA
Drink up.

NILEY
But Chelsea...

CHELSEA
C'mon Niley! Just this once!

ALBERT
Yeah baby, drink up.

Albert moves the bottle towards Niley's lips. She goes ahead and takes a sip - - PFSSSHHT! She spits it out, wetting all those that walk by and drenching Albert.

NILEY
I think it's expired!

CHELSEA
Niley, what the fuck? Handle your shit, woman!

NILEY
(to Albert)
I'm sorry!

ALBERT
That's alright, you'll pay me back, won't you?

NILEY
Uhhh...

CHELSEA
Hey, let's go dance! End of two thousand,fuckin eight! Finally!
You like to dance, don't you, Chuck?

CHUCK
For you, I do.

Chelsea grabs Chuck's hand and pulls him into the dance floor.

CHELSEA
Grab that other lady and let's go!

Chuck grabs Niley's hand in the process, Albert taking hold of Niley's hand and they make a train onto the dance floor.

CUT TO:
INT. ROY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
We ANGLE ON the clock - - it's 11:55 PM. Music is playing, and all appear to be having a great time - - even Charlie who has a smile planted on his face. He's putting the finishing touches on the beer can pyramid on Roy's dining room table. Roy and Robbie watch in suspense, hoping he doesn't knock it down.

CHARLIE
I almost got it!

ROBBIE
SHHHH! DON'T SPEAK!

ROY
(laughing)
You're talking though, man.

ROBBIE
Muahahaha, I know!

CHARLIE
Shut up, shut up!

The girls watch in the background, they're drunk too but nowhere near as entertained as the guys are about this. Charlie places it at the top and he jumps off the table.

CHARLIE
It's finished!

Stephie claps and runs over to Charlie, hugging him. Chantelle smirks and walks over, pulling the bottle can and the entire thing comes CRASHING DOWN.

ROY
Chantelle, why would you do that?

CHANTELLE
I like destruction.

ROY
Right on.

Esline comes from the kitchen with custom made mittins on.

ESLINE
The cake's almost done!

ROBBIE
Oh, you made a cake? I think I'm in love.

ROY
NOOOO! Robbie, she's mine!

ESLINE
(heading back in)
Boys, boys, don't fight over me! There's enough to go around!

Roy turns to Robbie, wide eyed and intense.

ROY
Do you wanna do this?

ROBBIE
Do what?

ROY
We can do it... grab Chantelle... we can trade off. We just don't
look each other in the eyes.

ROBBIE
Okay.

ROY
Really?

ROBBIE
No, now I'm scared!

ROY
Don't ruin this for me, Robbie! We got permission!

ROBBIE
I don't wanna leave Charlie out.

ROY
He'll be with Stephie! He's fine!

ROBBIE
(sobbing)
I don't think I can handle it! I don't wanna do it anymore!
I love Niley!

ROY
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, MAN!
(slaps him)
Don't ruin this for me!

ROBBIE
I'm sorry!

Roy pushes Robbie off, playfull of course and joins Esline in the kitchen. Robbie looks over at Chantelle, all alone and trying to rip the tops off the cans. He sighs and makes his way over to her.

ROBBIE
Hey. What's up?

CHANTELLE
Really?

ROBBIE
What?

CHANTELLE
"What's up?" Were you sent from the 90s or something?

ROBBIE
(over does the laugh)
Oh, that's funny! Really funny! Good - - good, good joke.

CHARLIE
Guys! The ball's dropping!

Roy and Esline head out of the kitchen and run over to the TV, joining everyone else. They all count down, Roy grabbing a handful of confetti. "3, 2, 1!" Roy THROWS THE CONFETTI IN THE AIR. STEPHIE PULLS CHARLIE IN - - AND KISSES HIM LONG AND DEEP. Roy makes a move, swiftly kissing Esline like it's ordinary business. Robbie and Chantelle stare at each other awkwardly.

CHANTELLE
(rolling her eyes)
Oh, just come here.

Chantelle pulls him in and kisses him quick, Robbie wide eyed.

CHANTELLE
(monotone)
Woo. Happy fucking new year.

CUT TO:
INT. CLUB - NIGHT
Chelsea and Chuck are full on making out. Niley watches like she's viewing a horror movie. Albert runs up behind her and STICKS HIS TONGUE DOWN HER THROAT. She tries to push him off - - but he's too strong. She finally releases, gasping for air.

NILEY
AIR!

CUT TO:
INT. PARTY - NIGHT
Kirby and Prichard continue kisssing amongst the crowd as everyone else cheers, already finished with their midnight kisses. But Kirby and Prichard act as if they're the only ones there...

CUT TO:
INT. HILLSIDE - NIGHT
Patrick's car is parked at a point looking down at the city lights. Patrick and Jill both sit on the hood, finishing from kissing and FIREWORKS SHOOT UP - - illegal ones though so they're nothing special.

PATRICK
Happy new year, Jill.

JILL
Happy new year.

Patrick leans in for another kiss, this time roughly and he nearly jumps on top of her.

JILL
Whoa! Whoa! Stop!

PATRICK
What's wrong?

JILL
Too fast.

PATRICK
I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.

JILL
It's okay. Just slower, Patrick. That's all.

PATRICK
Would you rather... do something else?

JILL
Like what?

PATRICK
I think you know.

Patrick leans in softly, kissing her and slides his hand up her stomach. She giggles.

JILL
That tickles.

His hand now reaches her breast, groping her with a full hand and he pulls her in closer, her hand accidentally landing - - on his lamp. He now puts his hand up her shirt while kissing her neck - - she melts. Her hand starts to slowly make it's way towards his crotch - - she squeezes softly and he moans, kissing her neck more roughly. She bites her lip in pleasure and continues squeezing. She now pulls his head up, kissing him hard and this time more into it.

She starts to slowly unzip his pants - - he's obviously excited and stops groping her and he speeds up the process, helping his pants go down until he's just in his boxers. He goes back to kissing her neck and she looks down at his bocers, wondering exactly what it is she's about to do. She squeezes over the boxers now as he starts to erect and pertrude out.

He gets a bit ancy and starts to push down on her back. She kisses his neck, assuming that's what he wants now while she continues to play with his boxers. He pushes her down a bit more, her head now in his lap. He leans back and she hesitates a bit, gulping. He touches the back of her head, trying to get her closer. She closes her eyes and starts to kiss his thighs over the boxers... FADE OUT.

CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
The LA skyline is out the window. Chelsea, Chuck, Niley and Albert enter, all drunk and giggling from the night. Chelsea immediately heads for the mini fridge.

CHELSEA
Who wants more alcohol?

CHUCK
Oh, me!

Chelsea takes out a bottle of Bacardi and then four shot glasses from a cupboard, pouring each. Albert just watches Niley, licking his lips. Niley feels uncomfortable and walks over to Chelsea at the counter.

NILEY
Chelsea, I'm a bit uncomfortable with these guys here.

CHELSEA
Don't worry, one shot and they'll leave. 'K?

NILEY
You mean you're not gonna - -

CHELSEA
Screw him? Nah. I can see you're not having as much fun.
I'll take care of you honey, don't worry.

Chelsea hands Niley a shot glass and she feels a bit relieved... she hands out the rest to the other guys and they stand in the center of the room. They raise the glasses.

CHELSEA
To a new year!

CHUCK
Yeah!

ALBERT
(looks at Niley)
To a night we'll never forget...

Niley tries to not look at him. They all CLINK GLASSES - - TIME LAPSE OF LOS ANGELES OUT THE WINDOW GO FROM NIGHT TO DAY. We PULL OUT - - the room is THRASHED. Chuck's asleep on the counter top, a duck mask on his face. Niley's face flat on the floor, drool spilling out of her mouth. Chelsea is on the couch, just in her bra and with an empty bottle of Grey Goose in her hand.

Niley rises, slowly trying to make her way up. She TRIPS but keeps trying to make her way up, her eyes barely able to open. She uses her hands as a way to maneuver around the room and makes it to the sliding glass door, opening it. The sound awakens Chelsea a bit and she flops off the couch. Niley makes her way to the railing and looks out - - all appears normal in L.A.

She sighs but then looks back, noticing Chuck's on the counter. She gasps and starts feeling her body all over. She lifts up her shirt, looking at her stomach, trying to look at her shoulders and chest. She puts her hand in her pants, feeling her crotch since she's clean everywhere else. She examines it for a bit...

NILEY
(sighs)
Okay and we're good.

Niley enters back in the room and snaps her fingers at Chelsea. She slowly starts to get up.

CHELSEA
What do you waaaant?

NILEY
Chelsea, it's morning and you're not wearing a shirt.

CHELSEA
What?

Chelsea looks down.

CHELSEA
Nice.

Niley looks around for it - - the room's a mess and it'd be impossible to find. Niley holds her head as if she can feel something pulling her down.

NILEY
Oh my God, my head hurts. What the hell did we do last night?

CHELSEA
(chuckles)
I don't know.

Chelsea knocks out again.

NILEY
Chelsea!
(she doesn't react)
Ugh, I'll be right back.

Niley grabs the room key - - the only thing clearly visible in the room and heads out the door.

INT. HOTEL HALLYWAY - CONTINUOUS
She closes the door and turns around - - the hallway is completely thrashed as well with the walls COVERED in grafitti. A maid works at the end of the hall, trying to scrub it off while also picking off little yellow papers from the wall with writing on them. Niley ignores what's written on them and continues on her way .

NILEY
Uh... hope that wasn't us.

Niley continues down the hall and in big bold letters it reads, "NILEY WAS HERE."

NILEY
Oh shit...

Niley turns down the next hall, trying not to make contact with the maid. She makes it to the vending room. She opens the door - - the vending machine is busted open with all the snacks missing. She sees another yellow piece of paper - - a post-it note. The post -it note reads, "I O U. Or charge it to my credit card:" followed by a group of numbers She lifts it off of what's left of the glass... she then realizes that the post it notes are COVERING THE ENTIRE ROOM and HALLWAYS.

NILEY
We're - so - fucked!

NEXT TIME ON WOODSBORO HIGH:
Chelsea and Niley try to make it out of L.A. and out of trouble.
Jill tells Kirby all the gritty details.
Stephie hangs around while Charlie continues with his drunken state.
And Roy & Robbie wake up in an - - odd situation.

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