So, it's been awhile, huh guys?

I've improved a lot as a writer over the years that this fic has sat dormant. So, I'm going back through and fixing previous chapters. The storyline itself won't be altered much, just how it's written. Whether or not you want to go back and re-read the revisions is up to you.

The chapter title is a reference to the song 'Something is Not Right With Me' by Cold War Kids. I didn't have something witty to use.


"The three angles of a Triangle make a straight line. Add another triangle to the ends, and you have a timeline pointing both directions. Three triangles makes all past present and future."

"What the fuck are they talking about?" Kyle demanded, jabbing me in the side with his elbow.

I pressed a finger to his lips to shush him. "Just listen," I prompted, the pad of my fingertip brushing the dry skin on his bottom lip as it drew away. I realized, I knew exactly what that lip tasted like. Kyle's tone of voice still echoed in my head 'Any reason why you brought me to your bed?' He had just been joking at the time, but it pissed me off a little- that he was treating the thought of sex with me lightly. Kyle had pretended to be asexual since the incident with Rebecca, and we would have to seriously discuss how far we wanted to go together at some point. Kyle was normally so solemn about things he cared about- so why was he making jokes about our relationship?

He bit back a retort and turned his attention to one of the Hipster trendtellers. I was standing a bit behind him, so he couldn't see me staring. I watched the way he fiddled with his pocket and how he scratched an itch on his ankle with his other foot, struggling to pay attention as the trendtellers spoke. We'd been going pretty steady for a few weeks now. We hadn't told anyone yet since he didn't seem all that serious…not serious enough to risk the social backlash.

I frowned unconsciously.

I'd found this group over the weekend. I was going to gamestop to finally get Skyrim, when a young woman sitting at a little table in front of the store had stopped me and told me she would read my future for free.

It wasn't like I could've turned down something that was free.

So I had sat.

She had me pull up a chair and she took my hands first. Then, she turned up my palms and ran her fingers over the little lines. I had just stared at the plaid scarf and bangles she was wearing. The only thought going through my head was that she was dressed pretty weird.

She suddenly dropped my hand onto the table. "I'm going to use tarot cards now," she informed me. "Accompanied with these encrypted stones that will tell what the planets have to say about your destiny."

I rolled my eyes as she set up the cards and dumped the stones out onto the table. I really didn't believe in this sort of shit anymore. I'd had way too many experiences with the supernatural and I'd learned by now to just make my own path instead of stressing over what some 'psychic' had to say. They were always douche bags anyway.

That was until she had started reading my cards. "Hm…you've just gone into a relationship," she began. She lifted a card and looked closer, "Oh, no…I apologize; I mean you just began a romantic relationship with someone you've known for a very long time."

"How...d-did you…"

"It's in your cards, sweetheart," she had said, fixing her glasses on her nose.

I leaned forward a little subconsciously. "What else do they say?" I wondered, throwing all regard into the wind. I wasn't completely convinced yet, but that was a really odd coincidence. I swear this woman had never seen me before.

She had smiled knowingly. "They say that you're very happy with this new development. Is this true?"


"And that you've waited for a long time for him to return your feelings."

My skin suddenly started burning as my brain caught up with what she said. How would she have known that I was in love with a guy? Either this woman was stalking me, I came across as flamboyantly gay, or this was real divination. (From past experience, this could be another possibility.)

"What do they say about my future?" I stressed.

"You're going to get married at a young age," she began, sliding cards into different positions. "But, it won't work out. You'll get a job where you'll work with large animals every day. And you'll love what you do."

"What about the guy?" I pressed, worrying with my lip then, after what she said about a marriage which didn't work out.

She had frowned, sliding half the stones away and positioning the other five onto the edges of the circle she'd tossed them into. "There are definitely trials and tribulations to be faced. According to your cards, you suffer cynicide often…"

I shook my head fervently. "I have that under control now!" I had cried, a stinging memory of the assburgers clinic and a terrible hangover came to mind. I had never been able to remember anything I had done when I was drunk. Kyle started treating me weird after the fact, like I was emotionally fragile or something. Eventually, he got over whatever it was, but I still get a bit wary about the whole memory.

Her mouth had set and she moved another stone. "Still, you hold a grudge in your heart."

"I do not!"- That was a lie.

It was probably the most depressing and difficult point in my life. Everything I had once loved was suddenly shit and I began wondering why I went on living at all if nothing was enjoyable anymore. I was just going through the motions like some limp puppet on a string. All my friends started hating me, and even Kyle didn't bother trying to figure out what was really wrong with me.

He…gave up on me…

…so easily….

…why was it so easy for him to do that to me?

I had remembered at the time, being so pissed off at him. He was supposed to be my best friend. I'd tried to give him my fucking kidney once, and he couldn't even spare me the sympathy to ask why I was so disappointed with the world.

And he went to Cartman.

Was I really that easily replaced?

I sure as hell wasn't able to replace him like that…

He just wanted a friend to have fun with; he didn't want to deal with my shit as well. He just wanted the laughs and someone to pull him up when he was dangling over a pit of fire with an animated towel clasping to his foot. But, when it came to holding my head up over the toilet as I puked my alcohol-poisoned liver out, where was he?

My diagnosis with cynicism was a real eye-opener for me. Kyle had always been my best friend. I had even realized that I loved him when we would play football and he would tackle Cartman into the ground and we would cheer. I just knew that he was there and I enjoyed life. I didn't realize that I didn't just love my best friend…I was in love with him.

But…really? He turned to CARTMAN?!

I'd at least thought that would never change. I'd thought it would be me and him against the world. I'd always thought he would have my back and I would have his and we could hold out in our crazy backwards town. Any time something went wrong, he was right beside me, but as soon as I had gone wrong, he was gone.

I had tried to say something intelligent to the fortune-teller, but…my mind had just whirled around the possibility- what if Kyle really was a fair-weather friend…?

"I-I've gotta go," I had said abruptly, shoving my chair back on the sidewalk and standing. I wasn't sure at the time, why I felt so frenzied over that little revelation.

She had nodded, grabbing a little cardstock business card and handing it to me. "Well, here, take my card and check us out on Tumblr and Facebook."

So I did. I'd gone home and made myself a Tumblr and checked out their blog. Fuck Facebook.

And now we were here. And I couldn't stop staring at my 'boyfriend'. A part of me knew I was just being stupid. There were plenty of times that Kyle had come through for me. For Christ's sake, he'd only just lead my rescue party from the skinheads a few weeks ago.

But still. That had nothing to do with my mental wellness.

Somehow that one instance just burned really bright in my memory. It seemed to overshadow all the things he'd done for me since then, and I felt hurt all over again. I brought him here so hopefully he could use the hipster trendtellers psychic powers to understand. I really just wanted him to realize how badly I'd needed him back then. And why I'd felt so let down. I wanted him to feel at least a little guilty…

For me, really…

I mean, did he even understand how in love with him I was? I knew I'd never really said it in a romantic sort of way, but I'd tried to show him every day since we'd agreed to take our friendship a bit further.

I'd always figured I was in love with Wendy, but that turned out to be more respect and looking up to her than loving her. I didn't know her as well as I knew Kyle. And I'd always felt obliged to be her boyfriend so I could stand up for her when she was letting her pride get in the way and not acknowledging Cartman's insults. Kyle had never needed that before.

What I had with Kyle was different. It was equilibrium. He could take care of himself, and I could take care of myself, but when either of us got overwhelmed, we could take care of each other. We just worked. And because Kyle and I were always very alike and had grown up under each other's influence, our expectations in a romantic relationship had grown around what we got from each other as friends. He told me that he didn't want to 'experiment' with dating, he wanted to date someone he really cared about. And, I was the same way.

But, here we were dating each other. So, he obviously cared about me to some extent, right?

To me, the most important thing was being able to count on the people you put your trust into. To me, real friends were most important. I wanted to know everything about Kyle. I wanted him to tell me everything, and I wanted to trust him with everything. I wanted to be myself around him without any judgment, and I usually was pretty comfortable.

Still, staring at him with his hand on his hip and his back turned, I wasn't feeling comfortable. It was stupid…I knew that. But, the thing about dating someone I'd known since forever was that, I came into the relationship feeling like something had been soiled. Some kind of innocent simplicity could no longer exist between us, and I didn't know how to adjust to that. Don't get me wrong, dating Kyle felt like the next natural step in my life and in our relationship. It was just- I was losing the version of Kyle that was just my friend, and it was difficult to convince myself that we were becoming something more because the 'best-friend' version of Kyle had been the only one in existence for so long. Losing that version of him felt like losing him completely.

I was deep in thought when his voice reached me. "-any of this?"

He was demanding something- an answer, but I hadn't heard the question. He was turned away from the trendtellers and looking at me, "Huh?" I said, raising a brow.

"You really believe this stuff?" Kyle repeated, though I was sure he'd reworded the question- possibly to be gentler to my beliefs. I assumed they had gotten on to the part about the future-telling stuff. I understood his disbelief- it was tough to digest at first.

I stepped up behind him and turned him back forward by the shoulder. The trendtellers were still giving their presentation to the new converts, and he should hear this part in its entirety. "Just trust me," I whispered.



Well, I had wasted a trip to New York. All I really got out of it was a pizza (courtesy Kyle) and a few moments of pseudo-flying (falling). Next thing I knew, I was tucked back up into bed, a new orange hoodie swaddled around my torso. Mom had missed my little arms that time when she swaddled me in the fabric, so, as they had grown back to the right size, my arms curled up inside the chest of the coat. The first thing I did was unzip the hoodie and put my arms through the holes properly.

No one remembered. No one even missed me in New York.

That was almost a month ago now. And, since then, the rumor-mills had kicked up some dust. (By dust, of course I mean, old stories I had thought were laid to rest years ago.) Stan had broken up with Wendy as soon as everyone came back from the trip, (Kyle had given me the whole story of what happened in New York, and after that, he had told me all about the break-up, the crying, the name-calling, the pleas for help from Stan- very dramatic, very…teenage rom-com) and word had gotten around that Stan had done the actual breaking. I guess that's what triggered the talking. ( I hate talking. If more people would just cover their mouths, shut the hell up, and think before puking out words, I'm sure many a crisis could be averted) Everyone in South Park had always known Wendy as the heartbreaker and Stan as the heartbroken. So, I guess I could see where the confusion stemmed from.

It didn't excuse the kinds of things the 'mill' was saying about her though.

Stan had been avoiding her, or at least, he hadn't done anything about the rumors. Neither had any of her friends after the rumors claimed that she had cheated on Stan with Kyle. (I suspected that had something to do with jealousy since the entire female population of South Park High wanting a piece of that Jew-ass after the makeover- not to mention the fact that both Stan and Kyle had places on the Football team.)

I'd seen Kyle and Wendy under a blanket on the plane (as I was cowering under a row of seats), but it still didn't make sense to me at first- as a possible theory of why Stan would break up with her. Stan and Kyle had been even more close lately than they were before the break-up. Stan would be pissed at Kyle if he fooled around with Wendy. It didn't follow. The 'mill' agreed with me several days later, making excuses for Stan and Kyle's excessive buddy-buddiness, claiming that Wendy forced herself on Kyle on the plane after she saw Stan on a road trip with Rebecca. They said that Stan was just being closer to Kyle to show him that he wasn't mad at him.

I had thought people were over the idea that Wendy might get with Kyle- in like...middle school.

Basically, the lies were out of hand, and Stan and Kyle were being a dicks about it. Not doing anything. It was fucking insane. How could Stan just leave Wendy to get fucked by these rumors? What was absorbing so much of his attention that he wouldn't notice?

It took almost a month- and a bribe from Rebecca (a good fuck-buddy and a concerned party)- for me to finally do something about it myself. I approached Wendy at her locker with a note from Rebecca, sealed shut with a sticker of a caduceus and snake (kinky roleplay with Rebecca gave me a hunch that this had to do with her aspiration to be a surgeon). "This is for you," I said simply, holding out the letter.

Wendy turned, brows raising a little when she saw me (we had never really talked much- I couldn't afford the AP exams for all the classes she took, so we didn't have any classes together or pass each other in the hall). "Ah, thank you," she replied, taking the letter gingerly. She kept staring.

I kept standing. It got awkward after about thirty-seconds of silence, "I don't believe the stories that you fucked Kyle," I blurted.

"Um…thank you, Kenny," she said slowly, tasting each word as if she hadn't been using her voice a lot recently. (I suppose she hadn't- without anyone to talk to who'd believe her).

God, I felt like a piece of shit. And I was pissed with Stan and Kyle for ignoring this- if that's really what was going on here. I hated seeing her so sad. I wanted to help her. I wanted to help her like I'd always helped Karen (the Mysterion outfit had stopped working against bullies once she hit middle school- they thought it was just lame- doesn't mean roundhouse kicks had stopped working). "I can find out what's going on with Stan," I offered honestly.

She perked up a little and the corner of my lip twitched. "You would do that?" she said hopefully.

"Of course," I promised. If there was one thing Wendy Testaburger liked, it was knowledge. I could imagine it sucked for her- not knowing why Stan had really broken up with her. Maybe, if he had a good reason, we could absolve all these stupid rumors.

With the offer standing, I figured she'd maybe hug me and thank me (and I'd get to feel those perky little b-cups against my chest…yeah, that'd be nice), but instead she just narrowed her eyes at me and lowered her voice to a threatening whisper, "You find out, and you tell no one- only me. You tell me and then I choose what to do with that information." She had her pointer finger jabbed into my chest like it was a knife she could impale me with- and maybe would if I let her down. "Capisce?"

I raised my hands, "No need for threats, I'm not trying to fuck you over!" I snapped.

Her glare didn't soften, but she backed up and finished putting her books away. She left me standing in the hallway, perturbed- and a little turned on.

After school, I started walking home with Stan and Kyle- like we did every day. I considered asking them then, but they were engrossed in a conversation about some band I'd never heard of, and apparently neither had Kyle…or anyone else. What the fuck is a hipster?

Anyway, I broke off and headed home really quickly to drop off my schoolbags and get dinner ready for Karen. (I did that every day, since Kevin had left and gotten an apartment)

I figured Stan would be home by the time I headed back out, and I walked over to his house. By the time I got there, all the cars were gone from the driveway, so I knew his parents weren't home. Maybe no one was home. I figured I'd check before I rang the doorbell and got Sparky all upset (he was getting old now, peeing on everything and biting me because he couldn't smell to know who I was).

So, I peered in the living room window, between the blinds. It was a little difficult to see into the house (the Marshes keep their blinds closed), but I knew how to angle my view to see into the living room and just past into the kitchen and I saw…

Holy fuck, I saw-

"Holy fucking shitdicks…" I muttered, staring. I would recognize that ass anywhere, immediately. It was Kyle, grinding down on Stan and grabbing at his hair like a horny teenager. Stan seemed perfectly willing- no, eager to roll up and give everything he was taking, hands pulling right back at Kyle's hair.

With the way they were rolling their hips and shaking, I figured they were about ten seconds from ripping clothes off- or at least coming in them.

I kept staring, mouth hanging open, holding down all kinds of inhuman noises I wanted to make in shock. I watched until Kyle actually pulled back and plopped onto the other side of the couch- as if it was easy to just click off the heat in that situation. They started laughing at something (probably Stan's ruffled hair) and grabbed cheese poofs off the coffee table. They didn't cuddle or anything, just kinda tangled their legs up and adjusted their crotches where they were sporting neglected boners.

I was really just surprised that they didn't just go all the way in for the rut.

I would've.

But, I guess they were going to wait for the right time. I let that sink in- that Stan and Kyle were going steady, and it all made sense. They hadn't been paying attention to the rumors because they were so caught up in each other…and probably trying to keep their relationship a secret.

I was actually pretty happy for them.

But…I couldn't tell Wendy.

Stan and Kyle got up a few minutes later, running upstairs, and I wished I knew where Randy kept their ladder. They were probably up there fucking, and I wouldn't get to watch. I shrugged a little and headed home. There was no need to talk to Stan- I knew now why he'd broken up with Wendy.

My updates will still be sparse. I have a very busy schedule and other fics I'd like to continue. I just had some inspiration that I figured I could get a few chapters out of.

Hope you like Kenny's POV. I know I don't write him like a lot of other authors.

I have a surprise for everyone next chapter. You'll hear from some new characters.