Entry for Trying For a Baby Contest
Title: Completing Them
Total word count: 3,802
Summary: Bella and Jasper are happily married with a six year old little girl name, Kailyn. One morning when Kailyn asks for a baby brother or sister, it sets off a domino effect in the family. Somehow, the couple will have to work for what they want.
Disclaimer: This author doesn't own Twilight but does own this wonderful one shot.
I stood in the kitchen, like I did every morning, preparing breakfast for my husband and my six year old daughter. I heard her squeals of laughter before I saw her face. I put the last pancake on the plate and moved to our table to sit down. My husband grabbed me around the waist before I could sit down and pulled me into a searing kiss.
"Morning, sugar, I rolled over, and you weren't there," my husband pouted with a coffee cup in hand.
"Jasper," I giggled, "I had to make breakfast."
"But I missed you," he nuzzled my neck, and I pushed him away.
"Our daughter is sitting right there." I smacked him with the spatula I had to serve the pancakes and sat down. "Morning Kailyn, did you sleep well?"
"Yeah Mama, but Daddy said, that Auntie Rosie came home with her baby. Do you think we can go see them?" my bubbly six year old asked while she bounced in her seat.
I tried to avoid the topic of my sister-in-laws baby. I was happy for her, sure, but the subject of babies has been hard for me for a few years now.
"Kailyn, you have school so maybe later," I tried to dissuade her by placing a pancake on her plate. She ate but kept asking questions. She wanted to know the baby's name, and if it was a boy or a girl, then the hard one came.
"Mama, when can I have a brother or sister?" She looked at me with the curly blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes exactly like her father's, and I broke down. I stood from my chair, not speaking another word. I walked out of the dining room and to the steps that led toward the bedrooms. I could still hear Jasper and Kailyn speaking, but I didn't want to. I let the tears roll down my face but held back the sobs I knew would be making their presence at any moment.
"Daddy, is Mama okay?" Kailyn asked.
"Yeah baby girl, she's just a little sad is all." Jasper tried to console her.
I sat there listening as they finished up their breakfast, and Kailyn questioned her father endlessly. "Why is Mama said, Daddy?"
"Well, Kailyn, Mama is just a sad about Aunt Rosie's new baby," Jasper answered plainly.
"So why don't you give Mama a baby?" She asked.
"Well, sweetheart, it's not that simple," Jasper chuckled lightly.
"But Daddy, just go to the store and get Mama a baby, like you did for my birthday, you 'member?" Kailyn kept questioning even with a mouth full of food.
"Don't talk with food in your mouth, Kailyn." Jasper chastised. "And it's not a baby doll that Mama wants. She wants a real baby, like you were once."
"But Daddy, you have to be able to find one for Mama, I like when she's happy," Kailyn whined.
"Me too, sweetheart, now go and get your bag for school, we gotta get going." Jasper sent her on her way and was suddenly standing in front of me, a worried expression on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I just shook my head in response, refusing to speak. He nodded and turned to walk away. "I'm taking Kailyn to school, and then we're going to talk about this."
Again my answer was only a nod. He called for Kailyn and they left. I decided to shower and get dressed, hoping the hot water would make me feel better. Instead, I just started to cry harder, hoping the tears were concealed, by the water running from the showerhead.
I silently got dressed and made my way back to the kitchen to start cleaning up the breakfast dishes. I was about half way done when I felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around my waist. I continued to wash the dishes, and he just held me in place. He never said a word, just kept me steady.
Jasper's always been that way. Somehow, he's always known what I needed, when I needed it. We met almost ten years ago; I was eighteen when we met. I had just gone off to college and was moving into my dorm. I was walking with a stack of boxes, tripped and fell. I was surprised to find a hand in my face, attempting to help me up. He asked if I was alright, and I just nodded. It turned out that Jasper was my dorm mate Alice's adoptive brother. He helped me carry my books to my room, and we sparked up a fast friendship. By the end of the first week, he was asking me to dinner, and the rest they say is history. We found I out, I was pregnant with Kailyn right before graduation. We got married that summer; it had been planned since Christmas. Now here we were ten years later, blissfully happy, almost.
"Talk to me, please," he whispered in my ear.
I turned off the water, wiped my hands off and spun around in his hold. He pulled me into a hug and pulled me out of the kitchen. We found ourselves lying on the couch with my head in his lap. "It hurts," I finally said out loud.
"I know it does, and I'm so sorry." He kissed my temple and gripped my hand.
"I'm useless. Kailyn doesn't need me. I can't make another baby. My writing has basically stopped, I blubbered on.
"Then start again, and stop the birth control you're on. We won't try for a baby, but we won't stop it from happening either," Jasper's calm voice spoke volumes.
He wanted me to write, and to try for another baby? I couldn't comprehend it all. I sat up and moved away from him.
"No Jazz, not again, I can't." I felt my lip tremble, and I pulled my knees up to my chest with my arms wrapped around them.
"Bella, come on sugar, we won't know until we try," His eyes were pleading. Somehow, I forgot just how much he was hurt with this too.
"I just, can't risk it." I stood from the couch and moved to walk down to the study.
I heard Jasper's voice call from the living room, "Bella, please just think about it."
Two months after my talk with Jasper, I went into the empty bedroom that had been sealed closed for basically the last two years. I picked up the ultrasound picture that lay on the empty dresser. I had only been pregnant about nine weeks, and this had been taken at my six week check-up. The small little blob had meant so much to me. I wanted another baby. Kailyn was getting bigger, and I didn't want my kids to be too far apart in age. I was ecstatic to find out about our new baby. Jasper started working on this bedroom, as soon as I told him the news. He bought white dressers and pulled out Kailyn's old crib to make sure it was okay. Before I knew it the whole room was set up except for a color scheme.
I don't really remember what happened. I remember being in the kitchen, feeling light headed, and then I woke up in the hospital. Jasper's best friend, Edward, was the first person I saw when I opened my eyes. He was an obstetrician, but I usually saw his wife Tanya, in the practice, just because I was more comfortable with her.
I knew by the sad look in his eyes that my baby was gone. Edward told me that Jasper had gone home to change clothes. As soon as he walked through the door of my hospital room, he was wrapping his arms around me and apologizing. I begged Edward for answers, but he didn't have any. He said sometimes these things just happened. It was nothing I did, or didn't do.
I was pretty much empty for months, but I found other things to occupy my time. It wasn't until Rose had said she was pregnant that I realized just how much I'd really been hurt by the miscarriage. Now, after my talk with Jasper and several visits to see my niece Lily, I realized what I wanted to do.
I left the bedroom and made my way to where I knew my husband would be. Kailyn had been in bed for over an hour, so now was the perfect time to talk. I walked into his office and noticed all the drawings all around his floor and desk. He was on the phone, so I decided to lean against the doorway and wait until he was done. Jasper had an architecture firm that he partnered with Rose's husband, Emmett. They were crazy busy with buildings and houses. I couldn't keep up with all the work they had. Kailyn like to point at random buildings and ask if her daddy designed them. He'd laugh and explain how some of them had been there longer than he'd been alive.
I heard Jasper's voice say goodbye to whomever he was speaking to on the phone. He looked up at his face. He had that stoic look that I didn't like to see him wear. I walked around his desk and stood behind his chair, rubbing his shoulders lightly.
"Are you okay, Jazz?" I asked as I rubbed.
"Yeah, Bella, I'm fine. Just busy is all," he mumbled in a tired voice.
"Can we talk?" I asked cautiously.
He removed my hands from his shoulders and pulled me into his lap. "Talk to me, sugar."
"You remember that talk we had?" He nodded so I continued. "I think we should try to, not try."
He beamed at me and pulled me toward the bedroom. He made sweet love to me that night. We both knew that it wouldn't have mattered, because I hadn't stopped my pill yet, but the expression of love between us was so strong you could almost taste it.
We didn't seek each other out on purpose after I'd stopped taking my pills. Sometimes I found myself pinned against a wall in the hallway, or on top of the bathroom counter. Sometimes if I was feeling frisky enough I'd jump him in his office.
Four months passed and each time I got my period. It hurt worse than the last time. The fourth month we had failed to make a baby, I broke down emotionally. I fell to the floor of our bathroom, and that's where Jasper found me when he came home from work late one night.
Jasper pulled me into our bed and held me if as I cried. He'd coo at me and shush my sobs. I was so angry and hurt. Why was it so hard to have a baby? We didn't even try for Kailyn when she came along.
My sobs had slowed and Jasper whispered to me, "Can't you get a chart? For ovulation, so we know when you are most fertile?"
I nodded and knew it was possible. Tanya had told me about a few different websites I could use, if I ever decided to try that way.
"I don't like that how much this is hurting you, sugar," Jasper spoke softly.
"I'm so sorry," I cried.
"It's not your fault, sugar. We'll get there. I promise." He rocked me back and forth until I went to sleep.
The next day, I found out how to chart my days and which days I would be the most fertile. The first month we used the chart, we had sex. It was just sex, sure we were still making love, but it wasn't spontaneous or fun like our normal routine. The scheduling was weird, and I didn't like it.
Jasper and I kind of drifted partially during the next two months. We were only intimate during the scheduled times, and it seemed, so impersonal. On the nights that weren't scheduled nights Jasper would work late, or I'd stay in Kailyn's room until I knew Jasper was asleep.
At dinner one night after using the charting for three months I randomly blurted out, "I want to go back to the way it was."
Jasper dropped his fork, wiped his face with a napkin, and just started at me. Kailyn was clueless, but was watching the two of us like a tennis match. I didn't get any sort of answer out of my husband except a stiff nod.
I cleaned up the kitchen like I did every night, while Jasper went over Kailyn's homework with her. He watched me with his eyes, a longing or a hunger reflected in them. After I washed all the dishes, I held my hand out to Kailyn and said, "Come on baby girl, let's take a bath and get ready for bed."
We went through our normal nightly routine, the bath, pajamas, and a story. As I finished the story, I made sure she was tucked in and had her favorite bear cuddled into her side and turned to head back to the bedroom. To my surprise, I found Jasper leaning against the doorway watching my every move.
"I think we should talk, sugar." He motioned into the hallway and flicked the light off. I followed, making sure to leave the door open just enough to let the hallway light flow into her room.
"What's there to talk about?" I asked following him into his office.
He sat down in his chair, and I sat on top of his desk, waiting for his answer.
"Bella," he sighed, "I don't like the way the last few months have been. I feel more distant than I ever have from you, ever."
I opened my mouth to protest, but found a finger to my lips, silencing me. "No, you have spoken enough, now it's my turn."
I sat silently on the desk with my legs crossed in a way that Kailyn likes to call criss-cross-applesauce.
"I know it hurt you before when we lost that baby. I know, because I lost that baby too, and sometimes you forget that."
Again I moved to speak, but the look in Jasper's eyes stopped me once more.
"Bella, it was my idea to try. I know that, but we can't let this consume us. We're going to fall apart, and then what?"
I didn't say anything, I just moved from the desk and straddled his lap. My hands reached and unbuttoned the top few buttons and ran my hand along his chest. After my hand made a pass over his chest, I replaced it with my mouth.
Jasper pulled my head back, and looked me in the eyes before he spoke. "Why are you doing this?"
"I love you," I responded simply.
"What else, Bella?" He asked coldly.
"Nothing, I just….need to be close to you, like normal," my voice cracked as I felt like I was being rejected.
"For, what purpose Bella? Is this another scheduled fucking?" He sneered at me.
"No, I just…" I stuttered and then jumped out of his leapt off his lap and ran toward the door in hopes of running to the bedroom. Before I could make it to the door, a hand pulled on my arm, pushing me into the wall.
"Isabella, tell me, do you love me?" Jasper whispered into my ear.
He had me, pushed against the wall, and my legs had instinctively gone around his waist. His face was pressed into my neck, and he licked along my collarbone.
"Of course I do," I answered breathlessly.
"Do you trust me?" He questioned me again, this time licking up towards my jaw.
"Always," I answered without hesitation.
He pulled my shirt off over my head, and kissed along my bra-less chest. I started to rock my hips into his, hoping to get some sort of friction.
"Stop, let me take care of you," he ordered.
He backed away from me, letting my legs fall to the ground. This time he removed his own shirt, and I instinctively licked my lips at the sight of him. He unbuttoned his pants, so I followed suit and removed mine. As soon as they were gone, he had me pinned to wall again.
I moaned loudly as his hands started an exploration of my body. They reached my hips, and my arms flew around his neck trying to put his mouth back on my body.
"Jazz, please," I begged.
"What is it sugar? Do you need something?" He answered cockily.
"Please, fuck." I moaned loudly and allowed my eyes to roll back into my head.
"Is this what you want, Bella? You want my cock?" He rubbed his erection into me, and I hummed in pleasure.
"Jasper, please?" I begged again, hoping this time he would give me what I wanted.
We didn't make love that night, the sex we had was purely animalistic and frantic. I was bent over his desk, and I rode him in his chair. It was like the whole night we were connected together at some point.
Morning came, and we sent Kailyn off to school but ended up spending the day together in bed. We'd nap and we'd eat, then Kailyn came home. We made dinner, played a board game as a family and watched a movie. Life was seemingly perfect.
Things were happier, brighter, and easier for all of us after that night. We went back to the way things were, there was no talking of ovulating, or baby making. Before I knew it weeks had passed. I had started writing again, and Kailyn and I even decided to redecorate her room.
I was standing on a ladder in Kailyn's room, hanging up a few pictures of all of us, when I suddenly got dizzy and fell toward the ground. I moved my hand out to break my fall, but heard the bones crunching.
I felt the tears rolling down my face as I screamed out. No one was home, so I reached into my pocket for my phone, so I could call Rose. She answered immediately and ran right over to take me to the hospital. They asked the standard questions, what happened, what was I doing, was I on any medications, did I have any allergies? When they asked when my last menstrual cycle was, I just stared at the doctor. I had to think about it, because I couldn't remember. I had been so busy with writing and Kailyn's room that I didn't even realize I might have missed any.
The doctor just nodded at my stunned attitude. She ordered a blood test before she could do any x-rays. Less than half an hour later a nurse came in with a smile on her face.
"Well Mrs. Whitlock, it seems you are pregnant. The doctor would like to do an ultrasound after your wrist is fixed up."
I couldn't speak. I just looked at Rose, who had a giant smile on her face. She hugged me tight and whispered that Jasper was going to be so excited. I started to cry again, and she just held me tight.
I didn't want to get too excited about this baby, and then lose it like I had the other, but I was happy.
The doctor came in and popped my wrist back into place. I screamed out a slew of curse words, and cried out. I was put into a cast and then taken for an ultrasound. The tech found the baby easily and said I was measuring at almost ten weeks. That was further than I had been with the other baby, and secretly that had me hoping to make it all the way this time.
She printed me out a few copies; Rose took one immediately and blabbered on about how excited she was to have another niece or nephew. On the way home, I decided that I wanted to plan a special dinner for Jasper to let him know our news. Rose offered to take Kailyn for the night, and we went to the store to get all the necessary items for dinner.
Jasper came in sluggishly, untying his tie and shrugging out of his jacket. He made his way over to me, kissed me sweetly on the mouth and then noticed the cast on my arm.
"What happened?" He asked looking me over, I guess for any other sort of injury.
"I got dizzy and fell down in Kailyn's room today. Broke my wrist, but it'll okay. Rose took me to the hospital." I assured my husband before he gave himself a coronary.
"Why didn't you call me?" He asked, pulling out a bottle of wine and two glasses. I wanted to laugh, because I couldn't wait to tell him our news.
He handed me a glass of wine, but I shook my head. He looked at me perplexed but shrugged it off.
"You hungry?" I asked changing the subject.
"I'm famished," he answered rubbing his stomach.
"Well, I made you a special dinner tonight." I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
"Where's Kailyn?" He asked as he took his seat at the table.
"She's with Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett tonight." I made his plate up and moved to set it in front of him.
He looked at the plate in front of him, and then looked at me for a moment. He blinked a few times, and his mouth was held open.
"You made me, ribs and carrots?" He asked with a smile. This was his way of confirming his suspicions.
"No, Jazz, I made you baby back ribs and baby carrots." It was my turn to smile.
Before I knew it I was being picked up and swung around in circles.
"We did it baby." I cupped his cheek and kissed him softly on the lips.
"Yeah we did, sugar." Dinner was forgotten and he wanted to hear the whole story about the baby.
He was as surprised as I was to find out how far along I actually was. Then he smirked and whispered, "My office."
I didn't understand at first, but then it all clicked into place. That night in his office had been when we made our baby. I decided then and there that I wouldn't worry too much about all the things that could go wrong. I was only going to think about the new life we had created.
Seven months later, we welcomed our son into the world. Charlie Jack Whitlock was perfect seven pounds eight ounces and measured twenty inches long. I had the most perfect husband, the perfect daughter and now the perfect son. Our lives were complete and we couldn't ask for a better life.
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